Esoteric Empathy: A Magickal & Metaphysical Guide to Emotional Sensitivity
Author: Digitalis, Raven
Date: 2016-12-08
Keywords: empathy; empath; esoteric empath; raven digitalis; metaphysical empathy; magical empathy; magickal empathy; empathy for magicians; empathy for pagans; being an empath
Description: While traditional psychics receive mental impressions, empaths naturally have their emotional receptors turned on high. Empathy can give rise to profound healing, love, and spiritual and magickal progression—or, if left uncontrolled, it can be a painful experience of emotional overload. Esoteric Empathy teaches readers the ins and outs of empathy and encourages self-awareness through meditation, rituals, and other proactive exercises.
Publisher: Llewellyn Worldwide, LTD.
Rights: Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication DataNames: Digitalis, Raven, author.Title: Esoteric empathy : a magickal & metaphysical guide to emotional sensitivity / by Raven Digitalis.Description: First Edition. | Woodbury : Llewellyn Worldwide, Ltd, 2016. | Includes bibliographical references and index.Identifiers: LCCN 2016032920 (print) | LCCN 2016038335 (ebook) | ISBN 9780738749174 | ISBN 9780738749655Subjects: LCSH: Parapsychology. | Psychic ability. | Emotions—Religious aspects. | Empathy. | Magic. | Occultism.Classification: LCC BF1999 .D4855 2016 (print) | LCC BF1999 (ebook

About the Author

© Raven Digitalis

Raven Digitalis (Missoula, MT) is the author of Shadow Magick Compendium, Planetary Spells & Rituals, and Goth Craft. He is a Neopagan Priest and cofounder of an Eastern Hellenistic nonprofit multicultural temple called Opus Aima Obscuræ (OAO). Also trained in Eastern philosophies and Georgian Witchcraft, Raven has been an earth-based practitioner since 1999, a Priest since 2003, a Freemason since 2012, and an empath all his life. He holds a degree in anthropology from the University of Montana and is also a professional Tarot reader, DJ, small-scale farmer, and animal rights advocate.

You can visit Raven online at:

www.ravendigitalis.com
www.facebook.com/ravendigitalis
www.opusaimaobscurae.org
www.facebook.com/opusaimaobscurae

Llewellyn Publications

Woodbury, Minnesota

Copyright Information

Esoteric Empathy: A Magickal & Metaphysical Guide to Emotional Sensitivity © 2016 by Raven Digitalis.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any matter whatsoever, including Internet usage, without written permission from Llewellyn Publications, except in the form of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

As the purchaser of this e-book, you are granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. The text may not be otherwise reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, or recorded on any other storage device in any form or by any means.

Any unauthorized usage of the text without express written permission of the publisher is a violation of the author’s copyright and is illegal and punishable by law.

First e-book edition © 2016

E-book ISBN: 9780738749655

Book design: Donna Burch-Brown

Cover art: iStockphoto.com/23544248/© PaCondryx
Shutterstock.com/315073178/© photolinc

Cover design: Kevin R. Brown

Interior illustrations: Adam Kadmon on page 131 was originally published in The Kabbalah by Christian D. Ginsburg, 1920, public domain. Baphomet by Eliphas Lévi on page 277 is reprinted from Dover’s Esoteric and Occult Art. Page 83 by Mary Ann Zapalac All other art is by the Llewellyn Art Department. iStockphoto.com/23544248/©PaCondryx

Llewellyn Publications is an imprint of Llewellyn Worldwide Ltd.

Llewellyn Publications does not participate in, endorse, or have any authority or responsibility concerning private business arrangements between our authors and the public.

Any Internet references contained in this work are current at publication time, but the publisher cannot guarantee that a specific reference will continue or be maintained. Please refer to the publisher’s website for links to current author websites.

Llewellyn Publications

Llewellyn Worldwide Ltd.

2143 Wooddale Drive

Woodbury, MN 55125
www.llewellyn.com

Manufactured in the United States of America

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all the sensitive souls in the world, past, present, and future. Emotional sensitivity is an immense strength, not a weakness. It’s a profound gift that deserves attention, recognition, and a joyous embrace. Your purpose is to help lead a revolution of consciousness on many different levels. May your peace and authenticity continue to help propel the evolution of consciousness on a global scale, rippling out one placid wave at a time.

Rise from the mire! Grow from the murk! Reclaim your sacred nature! Without you, the world would be gravely lacking in love, truth, and self-awareness.

May your life and all future lifetimes be a Gesamtkunstwerk (total work of art).

Lvx ad infinitum,
~ O. R. D. N. ~

Contents

List of Figures

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Opening Text

CHAPTER I: Understanding Empathy

CHAPTER II: The Metaphysics of Empathy

CHAPTER III: Balancing the Self

CHAPTER IV: Grounding, Shielding & Energy Management

CHAPTER V: Approaching the Mundane World

CHAPTER VI: Empathy & Magickal Work

CHAPTER VII: Empathic Healing & Social Service

In Conclusion

Closing Text

About Opus Aima Obscuræ

Bibliography

Figures

Emotional Energy Entering the Body 83

Qabalistic Tree of Life 90

Prana Mudra 108

Rudra Mudra 109

Prithvi Mudra 110

Anjali Mudra 111

An 1888 Depiction of Adam Kadmon 131

Vesica Piscis Shield 149

Anahata Chakra 219

Double Heart and Eye 220

Empathy Symbol 221

Sign of the Empath 222

Sei He Ki 223

Inguz 224

Chalice Well 225

Mirror 226

Water Yod 227

Alchemical Copper 228

Hand Spiral 229

Protection Symbol for Empaths 230

Quintupled X 231

Baphomet by Eliphas Lévi 277

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs 310

Jai Ganesha, Jai Ganesha, Jai Ganesha Deva
Mata Jaki Parvati, Pita Mahadeva!

Om Jai Shiva Omkara

Swami Jai Shiva Omkara
Brahma Vishnu Sadashiv
Brahma Vishnu Sadashiv
Ardhangi Dhara
Om Hare Hare Hare Mahadev!

Om Jai Parvati Mata,

Maiya Jai Umaya Mata
Brahma Sanatana Devi
Brahma Sanatana Devi
Shubhphala Ki Data
Om Jai Gauri Mata!

Acknowledgments

Endless gratitude to my loving family, extended family, chosen family, and tribe. Without you I would not be.

Deepest praises to Priestess Estha McNevin for the limitless guidance, wisdom, and holistic love; you help make me who I am, and for that I am grateful beyond measure. Om shanti shanti shanti.

Love and appreciation to my beloved godmother Debbie McGaw for keeping me in check and for being a great force of compassion and Crone wisdom—and entertainment—in my life!

So, so, so much gratitude to the amazing pre-editors of this book; thank you for sharing your talents and wisdom: Barbara Holmes-Smith, Komal Vasundhara, Denise Potter, and Rhiannon Potter, as well as my in-house editors Elysia and Andrea—not to mention awesome publicist Kat and the art department’s Kevin and book designer Donna: your work is masterful!

A huge, heartfelt thanks to those who helped educate me about empathy in my teens and twenties, and who encouraged me to hone my abilities at a young age: Sonya Armitage, Zanoni Silverknife, Valann Valdason, Shari Stevens, Terry Bechard, Alan Wittenberg, James Brown, Mellonie Irwin Taylor, and many others.

Love and gratitude to my amazing brother Aru (Alex Sharma) in New Delhi. Bless you for the constant support, inspiration, and Hindu compassion. You have a heart of gold, mere bhai-ji. Jai Mata Di <3

Praises to my loyal friends and all of the loving community members and coven-family at the Opus Aima Obscuræ (OAO) Temple in Missoula! I am deeply blessed to know and love you all.

Many thanks to my devoted book readers and supporters; you keep me writing and keep me confident! Thank you for being who you are. Please feel free to keep in touch. You are sacred to me!

Namaste,
~C/R~

esoteric | ‹esә›terik
adjective
intended for or likely to be understood by only a small number of people with a specialized knowledge or interest
empathy | ‹empәTHē
noun
the ability to understand and share the feelings of another

Oxford Dictionary

The Desiderata
by Max Ehrmann, 1927

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

CHAPTER I

Understanding
Empathy

“A human being is a part of the whole, called by us ‘Universe,’ a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest—a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security.”

—Albert Einstein (in a letter to Robert S. Marcus,
Political Director of the World Jewish Congress in 1950)

EMPATHIC ANECDOTE

An Emotional Revelation

There was a time during high school when I would wear elaborate clothing, creative makeup, and spiritually significant jewelry all day, every day, in order to visibly proclaim my adherence to Witchcraft, magick, and alternative lifestyles. These fashion tastes developed shortly after I discovered both occult spirituality and musical subcultures. At this point it became normal for me to wear as much esoteric jewelry and gaudy spiritual bling as possible, especially pentagrams. This allowed me to grab people’s attention and, on some level, tell the world that there is more to our reality than meets the eye. It was delightful to have discovered a glimpse of this hidden knowledge through metaphysical living, and it was a point of pride to have discovered a place in unconventional art and fashion.

Admittedly, despite this newfound dedication to global spirituality and subculture, these “best years of your life” weren’t living up to the hype. Spiritual highs were coupled with emotional lows and an unfortunate propensity for deeply pessimistic thinking. As a typical insecure teenager, I would only allow myself to leave the house if I looked a certain way; for me, this meant perfect hair and makeup. The abundance of eyeliner, eye shadow, face powder, foundation, and various Gothic accoutrements served a similar purpose to the fancy jewelry. This unconventional appearance was urging onlookers to question reality, question art, and question gender! The intention behind this was to utilize heavy makeup as a type of protective barrier against overwhelming external energies. Ironically, this alternative appearance was actually a cause of social judgment, triggering an influx of external energy that may not have been there otherwise. Rather than covering emotional sensitivity with makeup, I was actually busting open a door that invited even more public scrutiny, for better or worse.

After experiencing a series of emotional breakdowns, it was the help of spiritual elders, good friends, and natural healers that provided the greatest assistance. A big cause of these depressive cycles, I was told, was my appearance. What I was experiencing was an energetic buildup of other people’s passing judgments coupled with my own teen angst. I was absorbing a painful amount of public energy without even realizing it and finding myself unable to distinguish between my own emotions and those of other people. (These days I tend to wear creative makeup only when I’m feeling confident and expressive rather than shy or insecure—quite the contrast!)

In tenth grade, my longtime friend Eric introduced me to his mother, Sonya. She was the first spiritual elder to tell me that I was clearly an “empath.” A what?! I was somewhat acquainted with the psychic arts but had never heard this term used to describe a person. The description was a perfect fit for my personality. It explained the reason for my atypical sensitivity and the emotional overloads I experienced. It also explained why I was so gullible, persuadable, and forgiving to a fault.

Sonya and other elders educated me on what it meant to be highly empathic, which gave me a sense of empowerment and comfort in knowing that I wasn’t alone. I also came to realize that empathy is an evolving field of study that permeates both science and metaphysics. Amazing! Not only was I not the lone village empath, but maybe my own insider’s perspective could also contribute to the growing field of empathic research. Perhaps my perspective could even help others in need who have similar constitutions.

It’s my pleasure to offer that very contribution here, dear reader, with the book you hold in your hands. It is an honor to walk beside you on your own unique journey. Together, our heartfelt efforts can help make this all-too-harsh world a more gentle and loving place in which to exist.

✴ ✴ ✴

Describing Empathy

Empathy is an emotional experience. It can be described as the ability to feel what another person is feeling. Empathy is everywhere, taking place on numerous levels simultaneously. It’s in the father rocking his baby, in the woman ordering coffee with a smile, in the child snuggling the kitty cat. Empathy is the social web that upholds and maintains all positive social interactions. Empathy is an active force that permeates life’s daily experiences. Think of any positive social interaction and there you will find empathy to one degree or another.

We emotional humans find ourselves in a process of personal and cosmic unfolding as we discover our own unique empathic voices in a world that is in dire need of universal compassion. We are all developing empaths. The connective web of empathy is growing and strengthening on our planet with every passing day.

For Witches, Pagans, magicians, and other spiritual seekers who have dedicated themselves to aligning with the tides of nature and the self, empathetic awareness can help in navigating life’s trials and tribulations. Empathy is an invaluable asset in both spiritual and magickal progression. Having the capability of stepping into someone else’s emotional worldview opens a door of unlimited spiritual potential. We all find ourselves navigating this crazy place called reality, constantly influencing each other’s lives through emotion-based interactions. Thoughts and emotions work hand in hand to influence our consciousness and behavior, which in turn influences everyone around us. By understanding the necessity for emotional awareness, emotional connection, and emotional control, we enter a realm of empowerment as the influential magickal souls we’re meant to be.

Scott Cunningham, one of the foremost practitioners of Wicca in the United States, once wrote, “To perform effective magic, three necessities must be present: the need, the emotion, and the knowledge.” 1 The function of emotional connection within magickal lifestyles cannot be overstated.

About This Book

This book will explore many different aspects of empathy, both as an affective experience and as an intentional practice. While I do cover scientific research to some degree, the primary focus of this book is to examine the metaphysical aspects of empathy that can aid us in becoming more self-aware, empowered, and balanced emotional beings. If you are a spiritual seeker who frequently absorbs emotional energy, I invite you to take refuge in the ideas and practices presented here.

Esoteric Empathy is especially written for those emotional souls who are drawn to magickal and mystical lifestyles. The term esoteric implies something that is known or available only to a select group of people, and, well, magically inclined empaths don’t exactly make up the majority of the population. But there are more and more of us emerging every day.

Anyone who identifies with empathy can get something from this book. Because the overwhelming majority of self-identifying empaths also identify with spirituality of some sort, the tips and techniques throughout this book are likely to resonate with a majority of readers—on a psychological level, if nothing else. This book is written for you, so you’re more than welcome to utilize whatever benefits you personally. May it serve you well, fellow affectonaut!

A concept I will refer to throughout this book is to “find your balance.” In order for us to live as healthy, empowered, functioning empaths, we should seek a balance in all aspects of life: physically, emotionally, cognitively, spiritually, behaviorally, and so on.

As both a biological and a spiritual reality, empathy is about unity and connection. This book is not exclusively for people who identify as empaths. There’s no denying that labels can be empowering, but labels can also distance us from the rest of society if we become attached to a “special” identification. I believe that empathy’s greatest lesson is that there is a deep interconnection between all people and all life. Creating labels of exclusivity works against this. Rather than “this versus that,” empathy teaches “this is that.” It is my hope that people wishing to understand their own empathic nature can gain something from this book.

Much of the material in this book draws from my own personal experience as an empath, but it is not meant to be a personal purging as much as a guide to common experiences shared by emotionally sensitive people. Some empaths will not relate to certain experiences or commonalities shared by other empaths; just the same, I’ve included information here that seems to be common among empaths that I, myself, may not directly relate to. I have also chosen to represent many different spiritual paths and practices throughout the book.

In both science and metaphysics, empathy is a field of study. It is for that reason that I have chosen to cite others whose work continues to help shape these fields. Throughout this book, you will encounter a variety of quotes, references, and citations to existing works related to the topic of discussion. Empathy is a communal experience. It is universal and collaborative. You will also see a variety of quotes from friends and acquaintances whose eloquent phrasings are too poignant not to recite!

This book is designed to help readers activate their empathic abilities in positive and constructive ways. Readers are encouraged to get in touch with themselves and with the environment we find ourselves in. We sensitive folk must actively choose to invoke confidence and gain control of our bodies, minds, and emotions. Even when the world seems unfeeling and overwhelming, we all have the ability to safely access and share deep levels of empathic compassion. As the human species enters an evolving stage of emotional development, may this book serve as a guiding light along the path.

A wide variety of readers will approach this book from their own unique vantage point. People seem to have different “baseline” empathic capacities: the ability to which one can actively participate in another person’s thoughts, feelings, and emotional states of being. In addition to the obvious readership of self-identifying empaths, I hope that many people who do not identify as empaths will read this book in order to understand the ability better and potentially invoke more empathy into their own lives. You do not have to “be an empath” to identify with the experiences or ideas presented in this book, and you do not have to identify as such in order to have empathetic experiences in everyday life. This isn’t a book designed to help readers cultivate empathic abilities or become an empath, but I do believe that people who wish to enhance their own empathic capacity can easily apply information from this text to their own lives. I also encourage you to see the bibliography for further reading suggestions that approach the topic of empathy from a variety of perspectives.

Also, I ask that readers keep a personal empathic journal, magickal journal, or Book of Shadows that directly pertains to their own work and reflections as an empath. I highly encourage every empath to keep a journal of some type and write in it regularly! A number of the exercises, spells, and meditations in this book ask the practitioner to follow up the activity with journaling or documentation of some manner. If you don’t have a journal of some type, now is the time to start one!

Empathy in Action

The experience of empathy encompasses an emotional converging or matching, which manifests through another person’s or animal’s body language, vocalizations, and movements. One’s energy converges and interacts with the other’s during the empathic process. Those who are highly empathic have the ability to act as an emotional mirror. But it doesn’t stop there. Empathy refers to knowing what another person is feeling, feeling what another person is feeling, and (particularly in psychology) responding compassionately to another person’s emotions. That last step is key.

What’s even better is that empathy actively advances love, which in many ways can be considered the highest and most spiritually significant force in reality. If spiritual views of karma, reincarnation, and individual dharma are to be believed (ideals that spring primarily from Hinduism and Vedic philosophies of ancient India), then everyone (both human and animal alike) comes into our lives for a reason. We interact with each other on the earth plane to propel each other’s spiritual progression, often in order to heal old imprints of trauma buried deep in lifetimes forgotten. Experienced mystics believe that empathy and love serve to resolve these trauma-based imprints, unhinging our spirits from soul-level depths of sorrow and violence and emphatically pushing us to our highest human potential and more deeply toward interconnectivity. Empathy is the key to love, and love is the key to enlightenment.

A person termed an empath (sometimes mistakenly spelled impath or inpath) is one who demonstrates an extremely high amount of empathy on a consistent basis, whereas most other people experience a high degree of empathy only in spurts, maintaining a more manageable baseline throughout the day. My personal definition of an empath is an emotional psychic. This definition assumes that both empathy and psychicism are not paranormal or supernatural, but are both very natural and normal aspects of human consciousness.

As you’re probably aware, the term empath has become very common in modern metaphysical circles. The term was first used professionally in the late 1970s by educator and researcher Karla McLaren, whose definition of an empath is “someone who is aware that he or she reads emotions, nuances, subtexts, undercurrents, intentions, thoughts, social space, interactions, relational behaviors, body language, and gestural language to a greater degree than is deemed normal.” 2 I encourage you to reflect on the italicized parts in this definition, as these may be the very things that set empaths apart from other emotionally sensitive individuals.

Being an empath means that a person experiences life in a different way than do the majority of people. It’s okay to be different; in fact, isn’t it desirable? For those who are unaware of their empathic skills, it can be wounding and confusing to discover that not everyone shares the same inherent set of ethics or compassion. It can be a long road of self-discovery to gain emotional equilibrium, build confidence, make self-supporting life choices, and create personal practices that encourage one’s own emotional health.

In the words of empathic therapy researchers Leslie S. Greenberg and Robert Elliott, “Empathy is not simply friendly rapport, sympathetic encouraging, listening, or being warm and supportive … Empathy is the process of deeply contacting the inner world of another, being attuned to the nuances of feeling and meaning as well as the essence of another’s current experience.” 3

Pagans near and far have no qualms about embracing the term empath as an empowering descriptor. Sheri Breault Kreitner, also known as CricketSong, is a nontraditional Wiccan in New England who offers both empathic and magickal services through www.lunarwisdom.net. In one of her educational YouTube videos for empaths (username “LunarWisdom”), she explains, “An empath is a person who is born with the ability to psychically tune into the emotional experience of a person, place, or animal. They are able to sense what another person is saying, even before the individual utters a single word. … Some empaths are so sensitive to the energies of the people and environments surrounding them that they absorb the foreign energies into their own bodies, allowing them to feel emotions that aren’t even theirs.” 4

A man named Jad Alexander (Jadoa Tai Alexander), who passed away in 2008, was greatly responsible for the widespread use of empath as a self-descriptive term in metaphysics. In the 1990s, Jad contributed the term and its description to Internet forums in order to find others with similar abilities—an experiment in sensitivity! This gave rise to a series of unique mystical teachings and written materials, the foremost of which is his online Book of Storms series, which refers to the internal storms that we “human sponges” experience regularly (visit mysilent echo.com). In 1998, Jad dedicated 11/11 as the annual World Empath Coming Out Day. He also developed the concept of Dreamtongue, the invisible flow of information between the psychic/empathic unconscious mind and the surrounding universe. In his online material, Jad describes our abilities as such: “An Empath is sensitive to the visible as well as the invisible. An Empath reads body language, tone of voice, body movements, the words people choose when they speak, the words they avoid, the logic they use, and the hidden things that only an Empath can sense inside another person.” 5

For empaths, their ability dictates everything they do, feel, and experience in life; nothing in the empath’s life is unrelated to their ability, no matter how much they work to suppress and repress their capabilities. Much like psychic gifts, everyone feels empathy to one degree or another, and its intensity can fluctuate based on a person’s mood, health, environment, and other factors. Biological and physiological influences also come into play, which we will explore later on. Empathy and psychic powers are both intuitive, but they each utilize different aspects of one’s perception.

There seem to be two initial levels that categorize the empathic experience. Empathy, on one hand, is a palpable emotional identification, sharing, and understanding with another individual or a situation. This is similar to sympathy. Secondly, empathy includes the emotional absorption or emotional mirroring of the other. A consistent experience of these levels of empathy is common to people who identify as empaths.

Empathy is an emotional absorption or deep identification with another to the point of personally experiencing the sensation of another person, a situation, an animal, an environment, etc. Empaths experience others’ emotions as if they were their own. Those who consider themselves empaths frequently experience a “taking on” of the emotions and energies of others in their presence. Empathy, while not an emotion itself, is an expression of emotion. If someone near me is acting giddy and excited and I instantly feel giddy and excited vicariously, this is an experience of empathy.

I find it so very refreshing that modern descriptions of empathy also take its definition a step further. While the older definitions of empathy recognized the taking on of emotions between two individuals, they did not necessarily include the component of compassionate response. In modern parlance, empathy includes this additional step of caring. While it’s true that a person can experience another person’s emotional state and then exploit it to their own advantage—a phenomenon I will examine later in the book—I would argue that the true empathic experience must, by necessity, include the additional step of compassionate action.

Rhea is an owner of the metaphysical shop Between the Worlds in my home state of Montana. She is also a good friend, with a radiant, empathic heart. She once put it well by saying, “Empathy is not at all self-focused. It can be hard for people to really feel what another feels, because at that moment we are not self-contained or self-absorbed. When empathy happens, we are truly experiencing someone else’s reality.”

Empaths are unique souls whom the world is so desperately in need of. With the turning of each year, humankind grows in empathy as a natural step in evolution. As the older, stricter, and more destructive forms of monotheism begin to fade in favor of ancient wisdom, modern science, and personal mysticism, empathy is finally being allowed to flourish as a social and spiritual strength. Finally, we are being allowed to feel and to love on greater levels than our species has ever done. For empaths, there exists a deep knowing that we are born this way because it’s meant to be, even in the worst of times. For empaths, our emotional bodies are the springboards from which we experience all life through the physical senses. For empaths, emotions are our raison d’être.

Technically Speaking …

Empathic ability refers to the experiences of an empath, while the term empathetic refers to everyday human empathy, much as a person demonstrating apathy is called apathetic rather than apathic or a person demonstrating sympathy is sympathetic rather than sympathic. However, you will see that I use these words interchangeably, which is how they tend to be used in modern lingo, in both scientific and metaphysical circles.

Though the experience of empathy is as old as consciousness itself, the actual word empathy is less than a hundred years old. Can you believe that? This is greatly due to the fact that empathy is a somewhat elusive subject, one that’s not blatantly physical or dominantly cerebral. Empathy is experiential and strictly emotional. Empirical scientific studies into the empathic capacity of humans have begun to be conducted only very recently. The word empathy itself comes from the German Einfühlung, meaning “feeling into.” This term is connected to the Greek empatheia, which consists of em- (“in”) and pathos (“feeling”).

Emotional Knowledge

To understand empathy, we should have a basic understanding of emotion. Though I won’t dive too deeply into the scientific nuances of emotions in general, numerous attempts have been made to categorize, quantify, and understand emotions. In many ways, emotions are abstract and complex and can be difficult to identify precisely. Our various emotions are neither good nor bad; each one helps us respond uniquely to any given situation. We are shaped by our emotional responses to experiences and by the emotional responses of those around us. Everyone is wired in a different way by a combination of nature and nurture, which affects the manner in which our brains process information. Emotions are internal judgments by which we are able to understand and experience the world around us, allowing us to respond accordingly.

Emotions can be triggered in numerous ways. We experience emotions simply by observing and assessing life itself. Emotions rise and fall when we interact with others, either as a response or as a shared experience. Emotions may come to the surface when we are recalling or discussing emotionally significant events or when we are using imagination and visualization. We can also self-create emotion by changing our facial expression, body language, and physical appearance.

Emotions can be seen as instantaneous reactions to experiences that seem significant to our welfare. Emotions make reality come to life; they engage us with our experience and make it meaningful, significant, and spirited. The most self-aware people in the world are deep feelers.

While emotions are the driving force of human experience, emotions themselves can sometimes be illusory; some emotions are reactions to misunderstandings or assumptions. We can most easily find our balance when we temper our emotions (the heart) with objective, rational thinking (the mind).

IN PRACTICE
A Checklist to Discern Your Empathic Abilities

If you’re reading this book, odds are you either currently consider yourself an empath or are wondering if such a term applies to you on an individual level. I encourage you to reflect on the following brief list to see if the term empath accurately describes your unique personality.

Those with a high level of empathic ability tend to have certain experiential commonalities, including the items on this list. Grab a pencil and check off (or mentally note) the qualities that fit you personally. Keep in mind that there are no strict rules for “being” an empath, but there are still plenty of similarities between individuals of high empathetic capacity. Not every item on this list will be personally relevant, but if you’ve circled at least twenty of these points, you, my friend, could be considered a strong empath.

• The tendency to absorb and “become” the emotions of others around you

• The ability to relate to a wide variety of people and perspectives

• Difficulty in distinguishing your own emotions from those of others

• Having an emotional depth that seems unusual or unconventional

• A natural inclination toward all things mystical, spiritual, and multicultural

• A personality that is generally kind, easygoing, and gentle in nature

• The ability to communicate with anyone “on their level”

• Frequently mirroring other people’s mannerisms, expressions, and accents unconsciously

• Friends (and even strangers) feel that they can tell you anything or trust you with their life

• Experiencing anxiety, fatigue, or headaches in large public situations

• Perceiving emotional exchanges better than intellectual or conversational exchanges

• A frequent need for solitude or small breaks from society

• Increased sensitivity toward sensory input such as sounds, lights, scents, textures, and tastes

• The ability to step into the emotional energy of a person, place, or situation

• A desire to avoid anger, aggression, or confrontations of any kind

• A desire to alleviate suffering and help others in need, including perfect strangers

• Feeling alien or foreign to the world at large

• The ability to see beyond people’s façades and social posturing

• Seeing beauty, art, or love in things where others may not

• An inherent disposition toward anxiety, depression, and introspection

• The ability to see everyone and everything as valid and valuable, particularly children and animals

• The innate sense that everyone and everything is interconnected or “one”

• A deep connection with “innocence,” such as what is often found in children, animals, and nature

• A tendency to take things too seriously and not always get sarcastic humor

• Contemplating how things work or come into being; wanting to see behind the scenes

• Difficulty in understanding other people’s boundaries or reading social cues

• A desire to cause as little harm or conflict as humanly possible

• Having a touchy-feely personality and a generally warm demeanor

• A tendency to be extremely generous, thoughtful, and forgiving

• Having a sensitive nervous system and a body that is highly sensitive to physical pain

• The ability to fully and deeply engage in a focused activity or project, such as artistic expression, problem-solving, and various creative outlets

Vive la Révolution!

Empathy is revolutionary. It’s easy to be apathetic, angry, pessimistic, and self-centered in life. It’s much more difficult and takes more inner strength to cultivate and utilize genuine empathy. It takes even more strength to maintain it through challenging situations. Virtually everyone, human and animal alike, is born with empathic capacity and has the choice whether to express it or suppress it in life.

I’ve had the pleasure of sharing a longtime friendship with a fellow empath and Witch named Rhiannon. She once shared with me the following piece of insight: “We live in a world where cruelty and apathy are celebrated, even among those who pledge to harm none. Apathy has become fashionable, trendy, cool, and acceptable. Empathy, then, becomes revolutionary because it goes against the status quo. People are so uncomfortable with their own feelings and especially the feelings of others. To be empathetic demonstrates that you are willing not only to feel your own feelings but to extend yourself beyond your walls of self-containment and acknowledge the feelings of those around you.”

Younger generations have long been seen as a notoriously insecure and socially harsh demographic. In many cases, empathetic expressions go against the status quo. In an age where social empathy desperately needs to become normalized, it’s truly unfortunate to see young people embrace an “I don’t care” attitude as something cool or impressive. To be unaffected by something is to somehow appear more high and mighty than whatever the subject of discussion happens to be. I believe that our current technological age especially reinforces an acceptability of apathy because anyone can insult, slander, bully, and tear down other people in virtual anonymity and with little expectation of consequence. In the online world, people can say anything to anyone without even knowing them. It seems to me that apathy and cruelty, both virtually and in the “real world,” are oftentimes nothing more than attempts to create a sense of comradery between oneself and fellow critics. Therefore I would say that apathy as a social response is generally disingenuous and is more of a social strategy to garner empathy with fellow critics than it is an act of dismissive coolness. Aren’t we strange creatures?!

Along similar lines, a 2011 study led by Sara H. Konrath at the University of Michigan found that roughly 75 percent of students rated themselves as less empathic than students did thirty years ago, demonstrating less empathetic traits both behaviorally and cognitively.6 This study accounted for over 14,000 students, and it’s reasonable to assume that similar statistics exist for young people across the United States—and quite possibly the entire Western world. Is the isolation of modern technology to blame for this decrease in empathy? Or media brainwashing? Social networking? Greedy capitalism? Toxic “food” or “medicine” approved by the FDA? Who knows!

Many Peoples, Many Species

Empathy is everywhere! Humans and other animals function through empathy and instinct. We are all familiar with physical mimicry among animals with the phrase “monkey see, monkey do.” Humans and other animals are constantly observing their environment and responding accordingly. In public, you’ll usually notice people nodding, agreeing with each other, politely challenging one another’s perceptions, sharing, and otherwise communing. This goes to show that people seek empathic connections in their lives. We humans thirst for empathy because it enriches our experience of life.

Life is a process of observation and response. Even newborn babies begin to mimic those around them from day one, developing more and more empathetically imitative behaviors as time goes on. If a baby hears another baby crying, they almost always erupt in tears as well—this is emotional contagion! A person’s upbringing (nurture) can also have an incredible influence on a person’s behavior or path in life. Mirrored behaviors from a young age seem to deeply influence a person’s functioning throughout life and solidify an individual’s self-identity. Successful social structures of any type—tribes, families, communes, subcultures, collectives, schools, vocations, and spiritual groups—all rely on an empathic connection to sustain bonds.

Emotions are tricky because they can be so intensely overwhelming at times. When people don’t know how to accurately express and process their emotions, it can lead to frustration, sadness, anger, and a flurry of other negative responses that build upon one another. A primal fight-or-flight reactionary reflex triggers these responses. In some cases, emotional overload can lead to crime or violence. If people are given emotional education at a young age, life can be approached with greater self-awareness and universal wisdom. Apathy and carefreeness are socially acceptable characteristics for young people, and some modern cultures see emotional sensitivity as a hindrance rather than a gift. These unfortunate views tend to inhibit rather than encourage emotional connectivity among the masses. “Grow a thicker skin,” “crybaby,” “pussy,” and the dreaded “be a man” are common insults that are often veiled as statements of encouragement—yeah, right! Guys in particular are often raised to be quite insensitive and in some cases to be misogynistic, racist, or homophobic. Luckily, we are now seeing more progressive models of family and parenting as each generation succeeds its predecessor. As laws and statutes become more inclusive of gender identity, ethnicity, and sexual orientation, prejudice is slowly but surely losing its grip on the minds of individuals in America and numerous other countries. Empathy is becoming a more valued component of human functioning.

Many non-American cultures actually encourage boys and young men to get in touch with their emotions and even be themselves, believe it or not. Some cultures see the masculine hero archetype as someone who is in touch with his emotions and is not afraid to cry. In this sense, self-awareness is viewed as a strength and a marker of manhood. Although we gentlemen seem to have an easier time repressing our empathy when feeling threatened or upset, the antiquated view of masculinity as unemotional is merely a cultural construct, not a biological reality.

It can take a lot of work to break the chain of deeply imbedded degradation and social segregation. Men, women, and non-binary individuals all have a great deal of emotional repression to work through. Some people are still raised to believe that emotional sensitivity is an expression of weakness, mania, neurosis, or hormonal imbalance, which is an antiquated view that should be downright abandoned. You are here to help change these debilitating cycles of belief.

In truth, we are all the same on the inside; this is a spiritual reality that the empathic experience reaffirms. When it comes to divisive viewpoints and worldviews, genuine empathy is an experience that can temper any alienating “us versus them” mentality. Empathy gracefully bridges perspectives and encourages a very real understanding of unity.

We can observe differences in cultural practices and perspectives not only across global societies but also across groups of people in our own city, town, village, state, or country. The world is a richly vibrant place consisting of innumerable perspectives, opinions, traditions, and practices. By activating genuine empathy, everyone in the world is given the opportunity to connect with everyone else.

When trying to grasp the perspectives of those who are different from ourselves, such as members of unfamiliar cultures or philosophies, we discover that those working in fields such as sociology and cultural anthropology are utilizing empathy in order to gain more accurate perspectives. When studying the diversity of the world in which we live, it’s not enough to rely on outdated notions of “examination.” By approaching a foreign person or group with a mentality that presumes the superiority of the observer, an emotional and cognitive divide is created between self and other, thereby making the person’s studies ultimately incomplete. Sure, an observer can observe people and cultures, but without the component of authentic humility (and also perhaps an innocent curiosity), the empathic experience remains firmly out of reach—and so does accurate data, by extension. By eliminating egotism during cross-cultural or cross-personal studies, we invoke a dimension of emotional and spiritual openness. By humbly engaging with the mind and emotions of “the other,” we can actively transcend our subjective experience and enter a whole new world of being—now that’s research! If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my friends, family members, and former professors with careers in sociology and anthropology, it’s that empathy is not only a boon but also a necessity within these important fields of study aimed at documenting the world.

It’s interesting to note that individuals with developmental disabilities often demonstrate a high level of empathic ability; this is possibly because a slower rate of mental cognition may inspire a deeper level of emotional recognition. These individuals also experience higher rates of childhood bullying, abuse, and mistreatment, which can instinctively influence a person to become more emotionally perceptive as a self-protective response. We see the same thing occurring for many individuals of other psychic types as well, regardless of their developmental abilities or disabilities. Because ego, pretense, prejudice, and judgmental thinking all work against empathy, it’s reasonable to consider that those individuals who are inherently less prone to these manners of thinking often have heightened emotional awareness.

Additionally, individuals who are part of the autistic spectrum, such as those with Asperger’s, are often assumed to have little empathy because they don’t inherently comprehend social cues in the same way that others do. Interestingly, modern research such as that performed by the Autism Research Centre has demonstrated that those with Asperger’s and related diagnoses often have a much higher empathetic capacity than those without.7 Individuals on the autistic spectrum simply express empathy in a different manner. While both empathetic and sympathetic experiences tend to be more prevalent in those with Asperger’s than those with typical autism, individual differences account for much of the variation: everybody has a different level of empathy regardless of their autistic spectrum diagnosis or lack thereof.

Humans aren’t the only ones who feel empathy, of course! It’s important to understand that nonhuman animals display empathy. If you are lucky enough to own pets, you undoubtedly understand that animals exhibit empathy and have the power to instigate healing on numerous levels. Animals utilize empathy between themselves and can choose to extend this care to human comrades (which is also called interspecies empathy).

In fact, recent scientific studies have demonstrated animal empathy in a laboratory setting using rats! In a 2011 University of Chicago experiment, rats were given the option to free their cagemate who was in a restrictive chamber.8 The rats would receive no reward for doing this, but consistently demonstrated compassion by freeing their distressed mates, sometimes even saving morsels of their own food for their friend before freeing them. Emotional contagion has also been demonstrated in mice, monkeys, and many other animals, showing that the empathic experience is indeed part of our shared biology.

Emotional contagion is a type of primitive empathy. In his book The Age of Empathy: Nature’s Lessons for a Kinder Society, the biologist, psychologist, and primatologist Frans de Waal makes mention of numerous types of animals—everything from primates to elephants—that consistently demonstrate empathy as their modus operandi. The author argues that humans are empathetic by nature. Sharing and caring helps perpetuate the survival of a species. De Waal argues that we humans are not inherently designed to engage in war because it is detrimental to a species’ evolution. Empathy is part of who we are and who we always have been as a species. Fascinatingly, modern science has revealed that human emotions and the cognitive mind have evolved together, simultaneously. Many scientists also believe that proto-human emotional development began earlier than cognitive evolution … mind blown!

Modern psychologists tend to concur that emotions have developed evolutionarily as problem-solving mechanisms to help individuals bond, thereby increasing the likelihood that they might avoid potentially dangerous situations. If this is true, then all sentient beings are likewise developing emotional faculties as part of their evolutionary progress. It’s up to us, as humans, to direct the extent to which our emotions control us or we control them. As challenging as emotions can be some of the time, they are part of our human constitution and are designed to benefit our lives and the lives of those with whom we share the earth.

Sympathy, Concern, Hypersensitivity, and Other Related Feelings

To really understand the experience of empathy, it’s essential to distinguish empathy from similar terms. Take, for example, sympathy, which differs from empathy and is sometimes defined as “empathic concern.” This is based on the cognitive (mental) plane: to sympathize with a person is to understand and validate what they are undergoing rather than palpably feeling what the other person is experiencing.

Perspective taking is a type of sympathetic cognition. In the case of sympathy, the mutual experience of emotion is kept at bay in favor of a sort of emotional acknowledgment. If a person is sympathizing, they may have the best of intentions but feel unable to help or completely identify with the situation for whatever reason; this makes them feel for something or someone, whereas empathy is an experience of feeling with someone or feeling as someone. Just because a sympathetic person feels upset that another person is suffering, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they feel that suffering themselves, nor even that they actually want to help alleviate that individual’s suffering. Sympathy can often be a forced and ultimately incomplete attempt at empathic connection. Empathy is an experience of emotional equality, whereas sympathy is not. While sympathy includes a sort of barrier between oneself and another, it does have its proper time and place: there are times when more positive, progressive outcomes can be achieved without full emotional absorption.

In his essay “The Moral Emotions” in The Oxford Handbook of Philosophy of Emotion, Jesse J. Prinz makes an important distinction: “[S]ympathetic emotions need not be the same as the emotions experienced by the people for whom we sympathize; I may feel sad that you are angry or afraid, for example. But like empathy, sympathy involves having a feeling as a result of someone else’s feeling. And like empathy, sympathy is not itself an emotion but a process by which emotions are brought about and directed. Sympathetic emotions are characteristically elicited by real or imagined emotions in others and they are directed at those emotions.” 9

Psychologically speaking, a person can only empathize with a person who is experiencing emotions or sensations that they themselves have experienced or are currently experiencing. However, a person can identify universally with the resulting emotions of a situation without having experienced the details of the experience itself (which is actually more sympathetic than it is empathetic). For example, as a born male I cannot fully empathize with suffering from menstrual cramps in this lifetime, but I can identify to an extent with some of the resulting emotions, such as pain, discomfort, and agitation. As an empath, minor sensations of suffering may become invoked from the experience simply because the woman next to me is in a state of unease, but that is the extent of my empathy in the situation; another woman who experiences menstrual cramping could empathize in the situation on a much more acute, experiential level.

Let’s explore a few more key terms, since we’re on the topic. Concern is not necessarily empathetic in and of itself, though it can be an emotion that accompanies the empathic experience. Concern is the perception of a negative situation or predicament and is a type of worriment. Concern is an emotion, just like happiness, curiosity, or guilt, and is related specifically to anxiety and fear. While concern itself is not specifically empathetic, it is common to feel concern for another person while also experiencing empathy.

The term cognitive empathy (or intellectual empathy) describes when a person experientially steps into another individual’s state of mind. While this represents a type of mirrored experience, this experience remains part of the intellectual or cognitive domain, making it not actually empathetic but psychic: something related to the mind. Psychologists prefer to differentiate between cognitive empathy and emotional empathy (also called affective empathy), but I tend to see cognitive empathy as relating more closely to sympathy (itself being mainly cognitive, with some emotion involved), while emotional/affective empathy is just another term for empathy (itself being mainly emotional, with some mental cognition involved).

Empathy is often mistaken for overreactive sympathy or overconcern. Feeling a great deal of concern and understanding for another person’s suffering is not necessarily empathic; instead, it tends to be a sort of reactive identification instead of emotional absorption. Molehills can easily transform into mountains, and overreaction can easily inspire dramatic self-victimization. Unfortunately, the act of overreacting to situations is often used as a showy display in order to elicit some type of personal gain through the approval or attention of someone else. To be perfectly frank, overreactive sympathy or overreactive concern is a manner of feigning or faking empathy. Oftentimes this is born of a fear of disapproval and can relate to the conditions of social phobia. This is similar to what metaphysical author Cyndi Dale distinguishes as “personalizing” in her book The Spiritual Power of Empathy. She explains that some individuals may seem to empathize with others when in actuality they are experiencing a well of their own emotions that are spilling out as a result of the emotion they have observed or sympathized with. Rather than truly experiencing another person’s pain, for example, the person who personalized the interaction is merely being reminded of their own pain instead of “empathing” with the other’s.

So what’s the difference between hypersensitivity and empathy? Empaths are indeed highly sensitive people—a trait that Carl Jung called innate sensitiveness—but not all highly sensitive people are empaths! In fact, many hypersensitive individuals demonstrate a profound lack of empathy and an increase in tendencies that lead to a separatist thinking of “me” versus “them,” whereas an empath would be more prone to instinctively focus on aspects of unity. The term highly sensitive person has been used for quite some time and is said to constitute one-fifth of the human population. It was popularized in Elaine N. Aron’s fascinating book of the same name, The Highly Sensitive Person.

The distinction I make is this: while both empaths and highly sensitive people are ultrasensitive to the energies, emotions, and judgments around them, sensitive people who are not overly empathic do not absorb or “take on” the energies around them; instead, they tend to personalize information and read deeply into situations—this can sometimes give the illusion of an empathic experience. Many highly sensitive, non-empathic individuals will almost always initially focus on themselves instead of feeling the instinct to focus on the other in any given situation. Empaths are highly sensitive people, but not all highly sensitive people are empaths. Still, everyone, no matter how sensitive or insensitive, has empathic capabilities. There aren’t any hard-and-fast rules about being an empath versus being a regular ol’ hypersensitive.

Empaths are naturally introspective. By having awareness of our own cognitive and emotional processes, we can more easily understand other people’s inner landscapes. Empaths live primarily in their emotions, so it’s not just sympathy (or cognitive empathy) that we’re experiencing. Further, empaths care about others and want to activate that compassion in their daily lives. As I already mentioned, empathy implies responding compassionately to another person’s emotions. When I refer to empaths, I refer to people who not only absorb emotions around themselves but also want to help alleviate others’ suffering. As empaths, it is our job to activate compassion throughout our daily lives, as constantly and consistently as possible, in order to help make the world a better place in every possible way we can. Is there really a greater purpose than that? I think not!

I’ve encountered a number of people with vindictive, cruel, judgmental, self-absorbed, and utterly abrasive personalities who claim to be strong empaths. I find this paradox difficult to digest, but objective spirituality requires impartial analysis. If you’re anything like me, hearing a clearly unempathetic person describe themselves as an empath is frustrating to no end—it even feels demeaning! My advice is take a step back, breathe, and realize that everyone is on their own path of personal growth. Keep in mind that the person in question may simply misunderstand the term or may be mistaking feeling moments of great empathy for “being” an empath. Another factor could be that seemingly unempathetic behaviors often serve as psychological walls, acting as a thick barricade to protect a person from the difficulties of emotional sensitivity. For some people, a cold, distant, and harsh personality is an instinctual way to separate themselves from the potential for recurring trauma. When dealing with unempathetic people who claim to be otherwise, remember that it’s good to keep in mind that everybody is a budding empath, even if their behaviors seem contradictory. Besides, we aren’t perfect either!

IN PRACTICE
A Checklist for Empathetic Balance

Here is a list of things that I suggest empaths avoid. Contemplate the items on this list and add to it based on your experience. Use a pencil to check the points that are most relevant to you personally. Consider ways in which you might be able to reduce or eliminate some of these things from your life. Write your addenda and contemplations in your journal or Book of Shadows.

• Too little sleep (or too much sleep)

• Not enough alone time

• A lack of creative outlets

• Disconnection from nature

• Overbooking yourself

• An extreme need to please, even at the cost of your own health or safety

• Addictive or escapist behaviors

• Habits of perpetual self-isolation and social distancing

• Judgmental, critical, draining, and manipulative people in your sphere of experience

• Excessively sweet, salty, or manufactured foods (these provide an illusion of comfort)

• Self-deprecating thought patterns and uncontrolled negative thinking

• Becoming defined by other people’s perceptions instead of your own individual views

• Feeling responsibility for healing or fixing every situation

• Neglecting to “sit with” or process emotions before moving on (or repressing them)

• Getting lost in other people’s emotions and allowing them to overtake your own

• Attempts to dull or deaden the emotional body as a coping mechanism

• Engaging in unproductive slander or gossip, even if it makes you feel closer to the gossiper

• Being manipulated or persuaded by other people’s charisma

• Taking accountability or blame beyond what is healthy or accurate

• Putting your own needs and ideas last

• Forgetting to say no or draw personal boundaries

• Not paying attention in conversations; focusing on emotions instead of words

• Ending sentences with a mumble or assuming that others know what you’re saying

• Neglecting to objectively discern other people’s intentions or motivations

• Interacting on the computer or phone more than in person

• Responding to pain by becoming bitter, defensive, apathetic, or contradictory

Empathy Throughout History

In very early human history, primary forms of communication were gestures and other types of body language, with verbal and written language developing much, much later. Even now, studies by UCLA professor Albert Mehrabian reveal that approximately 55 percent of human communication is nonverbal (in the form of body language), while 38 percent is based on the tone of voice, and only 7 percent is the actual words being used.10 Looking at our physical bodies, this makes sense: like many other animal species, we are capable of very intricate, precise communication through facial expressions, bodily gestures, hand motions, eye contact, and other social cues. We rely on a consistent message being conveyed simultaneously on all levels through words, vocal tone, and physical body language. Much of this communication is unconscious. We have developed complex and flexible anatomical features designed to convey every emotion or feeling imaginable. These physically communicative features developed well before verbal or written language took root. Both vocal and visual communication utilize the same area of the brain, which goes to show that the two forms of communication are now neurologically complementary.

Scientific fields currently understand that, as humans continued to evolve, mental and emotional cognition developed simultaneously, hand-in-hand, with both aspects being equally significant in our evolution. In her book Raising Your Emotional Intelligence, psychologist Jeanne Segal states, “The emotional and rational parts of the brain have evolved together and, in fact, are intertwined, both structurally and biochemically, working together in a constant feedback loop. Through this cooperative mechanism we achieve not only primitive self-preservation but also sophisticated creativity, empathy, sociability, and boundless self-knowledge.”

There is not enough gentleness in the world. Contemplate ways in which you can live your life more gently in terms of personal choices, your impact on the earth, how you talk to and about others, personal magickal ethics, and your own self-image.

In early hominid evolution, the development of emotional awareness and empathy between individuals actually served as a primal bonding mechanism to help ensure survival and progression through group solidarity. Think about it: emotional outbursts in the African savannah, for example, would have been incredibly dangerous, as they would have both scared off prey and alerted predators. Cooperation and behavioral awareness have long been keys to survival. Natural selection suggests that humankind may have evolved because of our emotional capacity and our ability to hold our tongues.

Skipping quite a ways forward, we see the first occurrence of funerary rites in the Middle Paleolithic Era (between 300,000 to 50,000 years ago). The occurrence of these rites demonstrates an emotional bond between the living and the deceased. The primary indicator for this sort of intentional, spiritually significant burial is the inclusion of grave goods: gifts or possessions buried with the person, intended for them to use in the afterlife.

Throughout the grand expanse of human development, emotions have, and continue to be, the glue that holds us together and builds us as a society. Sociology professor and author Jonathan H. Turner wrote, “Every facet of human endeavor is emotional. Without emotions, humans could not choose among behavioral alternatives, see themselves as objects, engage in face-to-face interpersonal behavior, organize groups, and construct the large-scale institutional systems cutting across societies and, today, a global network of societies. As much as language and the complex cultural systems that are made possible by language, humans’ emotional capacities are what make patterns of organization viable.” 11

I find it fascinating that the early Greeks had no word to express the modern English word emotion. Instead, pathos referred to affective emotion—a person’s reaction to an occurrence or incident—as a response rather than an independent sensation. Plato, Aristotle, and Socrates included some amount of emotional analysis in their philosophical discourses, but most of their explorations into emotion were concerned with aversive versus attractive stimuli pertaining to a person’s mind (cognition). People desire good food, company, shelter, and pleasures of the flesh, all of which can be seen as occurring on different levels of the mind and are the opposite of fear or aversion. Primary points of focus were the contrasting relationships between pleasure versus pain, confidence versus fear, and immediate versus lasting feelings, and how the mind interacts with the physical body. Different philosophies were, of course, explored differently in each school of thought. In general, emotions were recognized but were only rationally expounded upon in early Greek philosophy.

Throughout the Middle Ages, emotions were typically studied alongside ethics. In Christian thought, emotions were equated with worldly desires and sin. Passions, emotions, and desires were viewed as components of the seven cardinal sins: greed, gluttony, anger, envy, pride, sloth, and lust. “Positive” emotions, on the other hand, were not viewed as emotions but as natural results of mental reason. Philosophers in the seventeenth century often saw emotions as forms of thoughts that could only serve to cause dissatisfaction, confusion, and unsatisfactoriness. Sheesh, what a dreary conviction! It’s no wonder that we in the West face such a struggle to come to terms with—and in many cases even acknowledge—our own emotional nature.

When discussing philosophical emotional development in the West, it’s interesting to note that Neoplatonist philosopher Saint Augustine referenced earlier Stoic views of emotion, viewing emotions as perturbations: disturbances that are contrary to reason. Augustine viewed emotions such as fear, anger, distress, and lust as being connected to original sin and the Fall of Eden. Stoicism, which Augustine seemed to have a love-hate relationship with, even saw positive emotions as human constructs that are irrationally misaligned with the natural order. Augustine himself tended more to see pious emotions as being necessary for Christian living and forging a connection to God.

Later, Thomas Aquinas explored emotions in greater detail, referencing the interplay of opposing emotions and how emotions influence what happens in the physical body. For example, the somatic manifestation (side effect) of anger was seen as a boiling of blood around the heart. Aquinas also studied the interplay of emotions, researching which emotions or actions could calm or agitate another emotion, and whether certain emotional states of being were unavoidable continuations of other emotions (for example, does the emotion of love always cause both joy and jealousy to occur?). Luckily, modern progressive Christianity is evolving to a more realistic worldview that is connected both to modern scientific discoveries and the valuing of empathetic experiences.

As a general rule in the Middle Ages, feelings such as sexual desire and hunger were seen as “base” feelings or “pre-emotions” (propassiones). Depression and sorrow were attributed to an excess of “black bile”—basically, a buildup of gross substance. The physical “humours” included the gall, spleen, choler, and blood itself, all of which were viewed as affecting the human body and mind when imbalanced. Luckily, these fascinating views evolved as biological science developed over time. This was also the era of Western history that began paying particular attention to the interconnection between diet and nutrition with emotions or feelings—this was greatly due to the Arabic influence brought to the West by earlier Turkish conquests.

The Emotional Revolution in the West occurred during the Romantic era, which preceded the Victorian era and marked the first stage of the Industrial Revolution. Heartfelt romantic literature and Impressionistic art came alive during this period. At that time, human emotions were indeed valued but were expressed more for means of entertainment than social therapy.

Emotions were acknowledged and valued in the Victorian era, but they—like everything in Victorian times—had their own appropriate time and place; emotions were not meant to run wild or overshadow social etiquette. Many ailments of the mind were attributed to actual or imagined bodily imbalances, simply because they didn’t have refined knowledge of the brain and the nervous system at the time. When people had cardiac issues, for example, these ailments were thought to be caused by issues having to do with love or generosity—things we still metaphysically associate with the heart.

In many ways, deeper levels of empathy were greatly suppressed in Western thought until the Romantic era in the nineteenth century. At the end of the Romantic era—which was in part a reaction to the scientific ideologies of the Enlightenment period—a newfound appreciation for the spectrum of human emotions became established socially and artistically. I think it’s safe to say that high levels of empathy are contrary to divisive forms of thinking such as xenophobia, racism, classism, and all of the other infectious-isms that have plagued humankind for ages.

To some extent, some of these historical points are generalizations, because expressions of empathy have long been socially dependent on a person’s situation, such as their cultural norms, family environment, global location, time in history, potential for war, amount of resources available, and so on. While emotion is a function of community survival, its levels fluctuate depending on a person’s cultural climate.

In the Western world, social expressions of empathy have taken shape particularly over the last century. Though human history is not my academic forte, my High Priestess Estha McNevin has an uncanny knack for understanding the subject. As a result, she has lovingly contributed the following information regarding empathy’s development in the twentieth century:

In 1914, as the world wars began, people’s values regarding the important role emotions play in psychological health began to change. Whereas the Victorians believed in a world of poetic mysticism and faery tales bound up in stoic standards of emotional decorum and proprietary custom, boys of all classes were dying in unprecedented numbers during both world wars. Of the many who returned, a shocking number suffered terribly in our early days of academically grappling with PTSD and the many other psychological maladies of war. Well into our own era we have struggled to document, study, and accept the role that our own emotions play in our primeval adaptivity to, or our rejection of, violence and trauma.

Perhaps as a species we have truly faltered in our attempt to cope with our own population growth following the Industrial Revolution. We seem increasingly obsessed with class, lost to the custom and nostalgia of emotionalized materialism, if not endlessly bound to our shared birthright of independence, wild ambition, and fear. We seem to forget the core Western values of civil order in our adaptive need for primal comforts over actual justice.

We all need and deserve a humble emotional learning curve. It would serve us to remember that we have only really just begun to understand how our emotions control everything, from our facial expressions to our life impulses. One hundred years ago we were rarely permitted to display uncontrolled emotions in public. Throughout the 1900s our obsession with romance, lyric, song, and poetry has often been a land of wild abandon and escape, used to veil humankind’s greatest emotional miseries of class oppression and unnecessary suffering.

In terms of our modern society, the most profound emotional revolution occurred during the 1960s as psychology evolved deeply as a science, defining a lexicon of emotions and their mental health implication with the works of Carl Jung and Avram Noam Chomsky. We began to acutely understand emotion as a neurological response to the stimuli found in our environment. The subsequent works of Paul Ekman, for example, have illuminated the study of human emotion as a precise physical language of cues and gestures that are closely linked with our ancestral genetics.

Advancements in how we understand our emotions have changed our prejudices toward many people in our society whom we once labeled as emotionally volatile or dangerous. We know that cultural inclusion, community activism, and the humane treatment of those with ‘“disorders” or “diseases” are essential standards to set when teaching or learning civic empathy. While grandmas the world over know this is the nurturing path to compassionate living, not everyone is ready to walk the path of peace quite yet.

The only known cure I can recommend for human hopelessness is to think in terms of the Aeons, an idea that comes from ancient Egypt and is commonly expounded upon in Thelema and other magickal paths. We live in a New Age, another time of abrupt evolutionary awareness and keen adaptivity. The place of emotion in our shared human values must come to a peaceful balance, because an overabundance of emotion—being ruled by empathy—will also put us at risk. Now that we are more acutely aware of how our emotions affect us, we can discover new ways to communicate our inner realities and harness our feelings for the betterment of others by fostering happiness and helping to improve each other’s quality of life. We can all utilize empathy to become a truly intelligent and emotionally informed species.

IN PRACTICE
Experiencing and Healing
Residual Emotional Energy

Emotional energy has a way of sticking around. Even the most hard-and-fast atheist can have a firsthand experience with an environment’s positive or negative energy, or with ghosts, hauntings, and other “supernatural” phenomena. Even the most skeptical person can feel a sense of relief after smudging with sage or asperging with saltwater after an argument has occurred.

Memorial sites are some of the most difficult places to visit because of the residual emotional energy present in these locations. Numerous memorial sites exist all over the world, many of which are situated in the very location where the war, atrocity, or disaster took place. For empaths and other emotional individuals, visiting these historical locations can result in a deeply grievous and confusing emotional experience, both because of the memories held in these locations and because of the residual emotional energy that still exists. For the empath who is prepared and is aware of the metaphysical realities of these locations, it can actually be an empowering experience to visit locations that hold deeply painful memories. Not only can we sit with the sorrow momentarily, but we can also choose to help transform some of those energies by lending a bit of our own healing energy, prayers, offerings, and magick. Because we can empathically jump on the current of these emotional vibrations, it gives us a unique opportunity to lend a bit of our own intentional healing to the situation and not just become overtaken by the energy.

American readers may be familiar with memorial locations of the Native Americans, many of which are situated on or near historic battlegrounds. Other memorials include the National September 11 Memorial and Museum, the Oklahoma City National Memorial and Museum, memorials for school shootings, and a variety of memorials constructed to honor those who lost their lives in hurricanes and other natural disasters.

Some memorial sites exist in locations far away from where the actual incidents occurred. Visiting the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, DC, for example, gives the empath an opportunity to project healing energy to the souls of these victims, even though the events took place on the other side of the world. We can also remotely lend empathic energy on days of historical remembrance, visualizing our energy and prayers radiating through time and space.

So what’s an empath to do at these locations? It’s simple, really. We can choose to make offerings to the departed, whether it’s incense, joss paper, fruits, vegetables, grain, liquor, or anything that’s appropriate for the memorial. I might choose to make offerings of organic tobacco, sage, sweetgrass, and maize at Native American battlegrounds, for example. Getting creative and sentimental with offerings—and listening to our intuition—allows us to tap into the residual energy and offer a little bit of light and hope to the remaining energy or spirits. Try it yourself when you get the opportunity, and record your experiences in your journal or Book of Shadows. How can you actively empathize with a historic location and lend a bit of energetic healing on your own terms?

In addition to making offerings, we can help energetically transform some of the deeply sorrowful energies that may be present at any given location. Simple healing visualizations and spiritual work can help heal some of the energy of grief and loss at memorial locations. We can utilize our own unique callings, talents, and abilities to help positively influence residual energies in our own way, whether that be through visualizations, Reiki healing, spirit offerings, magickal workings, visual art, performance art, or any technique that personally resonates. Additionally, if an empath is in a balanced and confident state of mind, they can actively absorb and transform some of the violent or sorrowful residual energies that may exist in these locations. Please see the next chapter for techniques exploring absorptive versus projective empathy.

Scientific Studies in Empathy

As you may have gathered, it’s reasonable to say that we in the Western world have developed with a sort of emotional impairment. Everything from ancient Greek philosophy to antiquated Christian thought has established a strict divide between the mind and emotion, generally seeing the intellect as sacred and emotions as profane.

Cognitive scientists have long studied the mind and its functioning without really taking the emotional body into account. Even now, many critics would argue that cognitive science falls short when discussing emotions because it subsumes the emotional body under the framework of the mind, as if emotions themselves were nothing more than a type of predictable cognition.

Socrates taught Plato, and Plato taught Aristotle. The latter, and other classical Athenian (Greek) philosophers, argued that emotions are more bestial and dangerous than is reason, and should thusly be controlled by reason (this also supported a model of social slavery and caste segregation). We find here that logic and reason take social precedence over emotions, not least because emotions have long been viewed as a weakness instead of a virtue. It’s time for those of us in the West to reevaluate and study our emotional capacities—and, I would argue, it’s time for us in the Western world to catch up with the more ancient and more emotionally developed perspectives held by Eastern philosophies. It’s time for the Western mind to catch up with the Eastern heart. Luckily, empathy is now being studied at an increasing rate in numerous scientific fields. Empathy is a very hot topic in the scientific community, and it’s about time! Interestingly enough, there is no exact, agreed-upon definition of empathy among researchers; this is largely because empathy is nonphysical.

Do you ever notice that you instinctively cross your arms when the person you’re speaking to is crossing theirs? Maybe you’ve noticed that someone you’re talking to clears their throat right after you do, or that the person you’re talking to starts playing with their hair at the same time you do. Maybe you’ve noticed that you break eye contact during a conversation when the other person does. These are examples related to empathy that often go unrealized in the course of normal communication. This exchange occurs by way of unconsciously observing, assessing, and synchronizing body language, vocal tones, and other subtle nuances of human communication. We humans constantly, and usually unconsciously, synchronize our behavior with those around us!

If you see someone who is genuinely happy and it inspires genuine happiness in you, an empathic link has just occurred via the biological principle of emotional contagion. You have “caught” the emotion; it has become reflected in your own emotional experience. Physiologically, this is due to a firing of mirror neurons in the brain. Emotional contagion is directly related to empathy.

Emotional contagion is especially noticeable if a person is romantically attracted to another person or is fully engaged in communicating with another. Motor mimicry, or unconscious imitation, is a demonstration of empathic communication occurring between individuals and has been studied since the 1700s! However, because it is not rooted directly in compassion, emotional contagion is not itself synonymous with empathy, though it is an empathetic experience. Even contagious yawning is imitative behavior due to unconscious communication, much like empathy. Even animals engage in contagious yawning!

We fascinating hominids constantly “catch” emotions during virtually every social interaction. According to the wonderfully insightful psychological studies of Elaine C. Hatfield, John T. Cacioppo, and Richard L. Rapson, emotional contagion is “the tendency to automatically mimic and synchronize facial expressions, vocalizations, postures, and movements with those of another person and, consequently, to converge emotionally.” 12

Neuroscience recognizes that people unconsciously imitate each other as a mechanism for gaining approval from the other party or to simply understand the other party better. In this manner, mimicry is both physiological and social. The more a person likes or relates to another person, the more consistently “mirrored” behavior occurs. The same can be said of a person who desires to connect with or gain approval from those around them. The reasons for this perceived need for connection or approval are many; we may wish to avoid disagreement, to gain status in a social unit, to make new friends or romantic connections, or simply because it is our nature to connect with those around us—the latter being most pertinent to the empath.

It’s helpful to describe a related empathetic occurrence called emotional countercontagion, a term that is recognized by Hatfield, Cacioppo, and Rapson and other psychologists. To give an example of emotional countercontagion, let’s say that you neglected to wash the dishes, vacuum the floor, and take out the trash yesterday when it was your turn to do so. Your housemate had reminded you numerous times yesterday (because guests will be arriving this afternoon), but you forgot about the chores and decided to have a Twin Peaks marathon all day instead. Now you are interacting with your housemate, who crosses his arms and gives you an angry scowl. Instead of crossing your arms and scowling back (which would be directly mirroring his upset emotion), you respond by loosening your shoulders and looking down in shame, saying, “Oops, my bad.” You immediately “empathed” their frustration but didn’t respond with frustration. By responding with “oops,” the empathic occurrence becomes self-focused rather than being based on a direct mirroring of the adverse emotion. Emotional countercontagion has just occurred.

Empathy is pleasurable. The very act of cooperating with other people releases dopamine in the brain, meaning that an average person’s pleasure centers are activated just from getting along with others. In a world where we are taught an “us” versus “them” mentality, empathy is a remarkable tool.

The area of the brain most likely responsible for the empathetic experience is the right supramarginal gyrus, located in the cerebral cortex near the front of the brain. If this region of the brain is underactive, a person will greatly lack empathetic qualities. It’s important to note that a person can only empathize with another person if their own emotional state is either neutral or is similar to the state of the person they are empathizing with. I would surmise that people who identify as empaths are most often in an emotionally neutral state or can easily invoke their own emotions in order to identify with another person.

Physiologically, the naturally occurring hormone oxytocin assists people in reading facial expressions and body language. Studies led by Christopher Cardoso at the Concordia University in Montréal have shown that an increased or unusually high amount of oxytocin (whether naturally occurring or synthesized) leads to oversensitivity or hypersensitivity in a person.13 The individual becomes much more prone to “read into” body language, speech patterns, facial expressions, and so on. Though I’ve explained that emotional sensitivity itself differs from empathy, it is still an emotional phenomenon that can accompany empathy for a number of people. In the case of hypersensitivity, a person’s oxytocin level may be a contributing factor.

Contrary to outdated beliefs, our physical health works in conjunction with our mind and emotions. Luckily, physicians and other professionals in physical-healing fields finally are now being educated about clients’ emotions and are being taught to exercise empathy when consulting patients and clients; this integrates an affective dimension within the physiological science. In fact, a number of medical schools are empathically selective in who they allow into their programs: by selecting potential medical professionals who demonstrate empathic concern in the interview process, the school can virtually guarantee a higher rate of medical success stemming from trustworthy doctor-patient relationships.

The brain can be rewired by creating new neural pathways reinforced by repetition. This is one reason why behavior modification can be successful, positive thinking works, and practice makes perfect.

A book that expounds on empathy in a scientific light is Mirroring People: The New Science of How We Connect with Others by Marco Iacoboni. This book explores the scientific concept of mirror neurons. For ages, scientists didn’t quite understand the neurological mechanisms that allowed people to identify with each other. It is now understood that these “mirror” cells in the brain serve to connect people behaviorally and emotionally. Recent research in neurological science—and by recent I mean the early 1990s—reveals that motor cells in the brain, located in the region called F5 (in the premotor cortex), fire not only as a person goes about actions and reactions in daily life but also as a person observes reality. These mirror neurons are also connected to people’s experience of their dreams as though they are actually experiencing the scenarios. Scientists now estimate that roughly 20 percent of the cells in F5 are mirror neurons.

If a friend is telling us about her fantastic romantic life, our own experiences of love are summoned in the mind, and we can have similar reactions to what our conversational partner is expressing. If we see someone pouring a glass of wine, a similar set of brain cells, our mirror cells, are activated as though we ourselves are pouring a glass of wine. If we see a film where the characters are experiencing deep levels of emotion, we too may well up with emotion (not to mention the fact that the actors themselves are utilizing their own empathic receptors by invoking those feelings in their performance)—this may be even more pronounced when viewing documentaries or “real-life” films. Likewise, when we see somebody in everyday life smiling, frowning, speaking in a certain tone, using certain body language, or otherwise communicating a particular emotion, associated mirror neurons are activated in the observer, causing the person to respond in turn. We can vicariously experience stories, plays, and films as if we were, to some extent, experiencing these things ourselves. Empathy deeply engages us with life’s experiences!

Mirroring is especially notable when observing facial expressions, of which the area of the brain called the amygdala is greatly in charge. The amygdala works in part with mirror neurons and thus is tied directly to empathic communication. The amygdala triggers the release of adrenaline in the adrenal glands, which is responsible for the fight-or-flight response. This area of the brain can be called the seat of emotions. According to scientific studies, those who have brain damage to the amygdala, or whose brain has irregularities in this area, demonstrate a decrease in empathy as well as a decrease in reactive fear. People with psychopathy or sociopathy, which are cultural labels for antisocial personality disorder, often have a lack of activity in this region of the brain.

Professor Iacoboni’s book makes the point that human development and personal connection are dependent on how we subtly communicate with each other, including the necessity of parroting or mimicking others as a method of learning and sustaining connection. A healthy amount of imitation is indeed a normal process of human (and animal) functioning. To quote Iacoboni:

Through imitation and mimicry, we are able to feel what other people feel. By being able to feel what others feel, we are also able to respond compassionately to their emotional states. … It seems as if our brain is built for mirroring, and that only through mirroring—through the simulation in our brain of the felt experience of other minds—do we deeply understand what other people are feeling. … We need [mirror neurons]. They help us recognize the actions of other people, imitate other people, understand their intentions and their feelings.14

If we don’t demonstrate empathetic qualities with the people we interact with, we cease to connect with them. Professor Iacoboni’s book also makes note of the social difficulty that plagues those who don’t have full mobility of their facial muscles; those surveyed feel as though a complete emotional connection with those they interact with is literally impossible. Without the ability to facially convey the emotions of oneself or another, an entire area of communication is impaired. This is a challenging disposition for people who are able to feel the complete spectrum of emotions yet are unable to fully express them.

Empaths and psychics can easily become proficient at reading microexpressions—especially psychics, because they function more prominently through the mind than through emotions. Microexpressions are split-second facial movements (and sometimes vocal intonations) that unconsciously or involuntarily occur naturally as a patterned habit of physical communication that we largely learn from others. Microexpressions allow for others to infer meaning beyond what is merely spoken by reading a person’s body language. A clever and fun television show exploring microexpressions is Lie to Me, which aired from 2009 to 2011.

Scientific studies show that facial expressions, whether micro or macro, are virtually universal when it comes to conveying particular emotions. Because we all express our emotions similarly, the observation of body language can help break down barriers of cultural communication.

A person’s face can show emotions but cannot show empathy. The face shows other microexpressions that relate to what a person is thinking or feeling, but it cannot show how deeply the person is empathizing. Facial expressions convey thoughts that have a momentary attachment to them, which can result in a feeling or an emotion, whereas thoughts themselves have no emotional response and are not always registered on the face.

Normative behavior for any society or group of people, regardless of time or geography, is very much contagious, whether it’s a style of dress, a preferred art, or an acceptable language. We conform to each other. It’s equally relevant to observe group dynamics when anger, paranoia, hatred, or insanity is the accepted norm. Mass hysteria, exemplified in the medieval witch hunts and other cases of bigotry and genocide, can occur when political force and social paranoia converge. Just the same, peace, empathy, and generosity can also be organized on a massive cultural scale just as easily.

But what about “psychos”—don’t they lack empathy? Well, not always. Sociopathic and psychopathic minds are both capable of feeling sympathy; this is why both are said to exhibit cognitive empathy, or learned empathy. If a person is “almost” empathizing, they can choose to use their own sympathy to gain some level of emotional connectivity. They can make it appear as if they are experiencing emotional contagion without actually experiencing it at all. In some cases this is used as a method of manipulating others, either for personal gain or just to get by in life, depending on the person. Sociopaths will often target empaths because they know how to work us through manipulation. But don’t get paranoid; be discerning.

Because the true empathetic experience includes a component of compassionate response, establishing a false sense of trust and identification with another person is the way that empathy can be faked for self-serving acts. Because people can be played and the idea of empathy can be exploited, many scientists believe that a solid foundation in personal ethics is what can encourage empathetic behavior to be used for positive purposes. In other words, not all people who seem to display empathy are inherently altruistic.

Antisocial personality disorder is a very real thing and has a peculiar connection to empathy. For example, psychopathy can be observed in children whose home environment is actually safe and loving. What makes a nine-year-old murder another child or mutilate animals with literally no feeling of remorse or guilt? What makes a five-year-old have no concept of compassion in any scenario? If the cause is not in the environment, it must be in the brain (and, I would argue, in carryover experiences from past lives). If people are born with varying levels of empathy, others must also be born with varying deficiencies. Psychopathic brain chemistry is, of course, potentially dangerous and is a complicated issue, yet it is still part of the spectrum of human experience.

People have different empathetic capacities because of their physiology and because of their upbringing. A small handful of people are born with little conscience and virtually no empathetic capability. Psychopathy is considered a personality disorder marked by a decrease in ability to feel remorse and an increase in self-centered activities like pathological lying. Psychopathy accounts for less than 1 percent of a typical human population. Recent studies of psychopathy have shown that those who are psychopathic display proper brain functioning when it comes to feeling and sensing their own pain but do not respond similarly when they observe the pain of others; instead, there is an increase in activity in areas of the brain associated with pleasure.

Psychopathic individuals tend to be charismatic and are not the types of people that others immediately suspect to have a pathological condition, whereas sociopaths more often wear their frustrations on their sleeve and are prone to appearing emotionally unstable. Both psychopaths and sociopaths still have the capacity to emotionally connect to others on some level (this is more true with sociopaths).

Sociopathy is behavior that tends to be learned (nurture) rather than something one is born with (nature), while psychopathy tends to be the latter. For some, a sociopathic mentality is a response to childhood trauma and abuse that acts as a sort of safeguard: if a person deadens their emotional body, then experiences of emotional pain can be avoided. A sociopath may choose to engage in blatantly unpleasant, selfish, and antisocial behavior but is less likely to engage in directly harmful or criminal activity than a psychopath. Still, people can exhibit qualities of either diagnosis without actually behaving in terrible ways. People can cognitively know right from wrong without necessarily experiencing those concepts on an emotional level. Many diagnosed psychopaths and sociopaths are actually productive members of society who exhibit great cognitive abilities without exhibiting murderous tendencies. Individuals with psychopathic characteristics, in particular, can greatly excel in business and scientific fields. Spiritually, I would surmise that they have the ability to focus their intention very strongly and can naturally excel in theurgy and magickal work, though they may not fully comprehend the concept of karmic repercussion. In other words, though they exhibit less empathy, not all psychopaths or sociopaths are evildoers. It’s just easier to do horrible things if one lacks empathy or a conscience, so we understandably see a higher degree of destructive or criminal behavior in those who have these disorders (particularly psychopathy).

The medical term for someone who experiences an absence of emotion at all times is alexithymia. Harvard psychiatrist Dr. Peter Sifneos coined this term in 1972. Alexithymia doesn’t make a person immoral or sociopathic, but it can be problematic socially because others’ emotions seem unrelatable and foreign. Physiologically, this is likely due to a disconnection between the brain’s limbic system and neocortex. A person with this condition is likely to be unable to put their feelings into words, may be perplexed at their own expressions of emotion, and may misinterpret their own internal emotional pain as a physical ailment.

This is not the same as apathy, which is a lack of empathy, because with alexithymia, a person is devoid of emotional self-awareness by no fault of their own. Apathy represents a lack of interest and a lack of emotional investment (more of a reactive choice), while empathy is a complete engagement and experience of emotion. The empath can, however, experience moments of apathy as a defense mechanism, which I will explore later on. A related term, antipathy, is an aggressive or antagonistic feeling that is rooted in a deep aversion or disdain, and may most accurately be considered the antithesis (or opposite) of empathy.

IN PRACTICE
Appearance Modification:
An Empathetic Experiment

Mirror neurons are constantly activated, allowing us to interact empathetically with other people, animals, and the environment in general. Because the body language of a person or animal almost always reflects their emotional state, an empathic connection between the observer and the observed occurs the majority of the time. However, mirror neurons themselves do not make empathy occur: they are only the catalyst.

What about those times when the way someone perceives you is markedly different from your actual emotional state? The manner in which we appear to others can dictate their responses and reactions to us. For example, if I find myself in a great mood, walking confidently and smiling to other people while I’m running errands around town, I tend to notice a lot more smiles returned from others than if I’m feeling gloomy or exhausted. Emotional contagion can account for these experiences: emotions—or at least the perception thereof—are contagious!

My friend Elysia once told me about a time when she shaved off her eyebrows as part of a Samhain/Halloween costume. While waiting for them to grow back, she decided to get creative by using makeup to create eyebrows of varying styles, patterns, colors, and so on. Once she drew her eyebrows dramatically down at the sides and raised in the middle. She forgot about it until her roommates started mirroring this expression of worry and concern for her. She laughed and told them she was fine and that it was just her eyebrows, yet her roommates continued to mirror that expression every time they saw her, automatically and unconsciously, even as they realized they were doing so. Unconscious emotional responses like these demonstrate the brain’s mirror neurons at work. While an experienced empath would be more likely to feel and absorb Elysia’s actual emotional state, the public at large was more likely to form unconscious conclusions based on her physical appearance or body language.

Give it a try: experiment with different styles of clothing, makeup, and accessories to alter your physical appearance. Keep a log of how people interact with you in public situations, first noting how you expect them to respond and then how they actually respond. For example, you may try wearing a fancy business suit while you shop for groceries. Do the clerks and fellow customers treat you in a “professional” manner? What if you were to wear tattered, dirty, old clothes with unkempt hair? How about punk-rock attire versus the clothing of a sports fan? Or perhaps you’d like to experiment with your face. How do people respond to you if you wear smudged eyeliner that looks as if you were crying? What if you wear highly theatrical makeup? How about colored contact lenses? What if you walked around on crutches or wore beachwear in the middle of winter?

Using your personal or magickal journal, make a list of the various appearances you assume, detailing which small or large modifications you made. Note the locations at which you received certain responses, paying attention to even the smallest interactive detail. Reflect on how these interpersonal experiences exemplify unconscious mirroring. The goal of this activity is to gauge how many people allow their own emotions or feelings to reflect their immediate assessment of your physical appearance. In contrast, you can also gauge how many individuals responded with an empathic knowledge of your actual emotional state at the time of the experiment. In the end, this experiment will increase the self-awareness of the practitioner by experiencing both empathy and social mirroring in public situations.

Empathy in the Media

Watch out! Empathy is recognized not only in scientific and metaphysical circles but also in the media. We are likely to see more and more mentions of empathy in common media outlets over time as more writers and directors learn the social importance of portraying real emotional, human connections through multimedia art forms. From Hallmark commercials to sitcoms to advertisements to primetime news, our emotions are pandered to and even manipulated. This produces, for better or worse, widespread public opinions and preferences rooted in large-scale emotional targeting.

In Stephen King’s Dark Tower series of books, comics, and games, an area of arctic tundra exists called the White Lands of Empathica, where all of the residents are empathic. Author H. K. Savage has also written The Empath Trilogy, which are young-adult books centered around supernatural beings and mystical powers.

A common media portrayal of empathy occurs in Star Trek: The Next Generation, where the ship’s counselor, Deanna Troi, is portrayed as a half-human with both telepathic and empathic powers. She utilizes her ability to link her consciousness with other people in order to accurately report their emotional state.

Also, in the original Star Trek series, an episode called “The Empath” featured an alien woman called Gem. In the episode, Gem saves her home planet by exemplifying self-sacrifice over self-preservation. Gem is shown to absorb physical pain as well as emotional pain as part of her empathy. The episode centers on compassion for others. Gem’s character also has the ability to lift the pain from any person she touches and take this pain on herself. She is then able to release the pain with ease. While it is beautiful to think that empaths can instantly absorb and transmute a person’s pain, it’s not quite so easy in practice. Later in this book I will give pointers on ways a person can utilize their empathic skills to help momentarily transform another person’s emotional energy by way of conversation, interaction, and loving-kindness.

Empaths were also featured in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer television series from time to time (remember Barney the empath demon?), but a special media reference that stands out to me is the fiftieth episode of the television show Charmed, which was called “Primrose Empath.” The episode begins with a reclusive fellow who has chosen to lock himself in his apartment for the rest of his life. When the Witch Prue arrives at the scene, she discovers that the shut-in is attempting to avoid the pain of society that he is empathically receiving. Being a hypersensitive empath, he simultaneously absorbs the emotions and physical sensations of everyone around him, even across the whole neighborhood (a little unrealistic, but hey!). In order to protect this innocent soul, Prue rescues the dude by absorbing his empathic “power” so she can learn how to live with it herself rather than have him suffer through it.

One of my favorite examples of empathy portrayed in cinema is in the Netflix original series Sense8, which is directed by Lana and Lilly Wachowski (the siblings who did The Matrix, Cloud Atlas, and so on). In the series, eight very diverse strangers from around the globe are mysteriously bound together, sharing emotions and sensations between each other from great distances. While the term empath is not specifically used, their experiences are both psychic and empathic, displaying the evolutionary force of human connection as being transcendent of all personal or cultural barriers.

As you can see, the public knowledge of human empathy (particularly empathy as a spiritual power or ability) is here to stay, take root, and evolve—and to eventually become more accurately represented. We can expect more recognition of this ability, whether it is portrayed as something natural or supernatural, as both science and spirituality evolve, and as the artistic side of the various types of media chooses to express the very real (and human!) occurrence of empathy.

IN PRACTICE
Studying Empathy in Mass Communication

The public can be reached through and influenced by many different mediums. Broadcast media include film, television, radio, and music. Print media include books, magazines, newspapers, flyers, pamphlets, and other printed materials. Other expressions of media include outdoor advertising, public speaking, and digital media (Internet and mobile).

Mass media is not exclusively used as a platform for art or education. The media is greatly utilized to influence and manipulate the public on a global level. The media is a psychologically advanced industry. Those who craft advertisements, for example, could be using their profoundly influential power to create a better world by promoting social awareness and progressive choices in viewers—and some of them do! Most, however, try to sell us a bunch of shit we don’t need so their profit margins can increase. It’s so very strange to me that humans can make such vast progress in any given field and then hit a solid brick wall when it comes to the simple concept of ethics over money.

Mass communication influences the world. We are constantly bombarded with information designed to create specific emotional responses in the viewer or listener. When we see an advertisement for animal rights or human rights, for example, we don’t see happy, healthy, radiant beings portrayed; we are shown scenes of sadness and desperation. These portrayals encourage an emotional reaction aligned with the mission of the organization, and often these portrayals are needed to create positive change for the individuals that the nonprofit organization is aiming to help. Just the same, we are shown images of sultry and sensuous beauties giving their best “do me” face to help sell perfumes and cosmetics—sold by companies that may dump poisonous chemicals into the drinking water of the very people portrayed in the previous advertisement or may perform cosmetic experiments on the very animals that were shown suffering in the previous ad. What an ironic, illusory, and multifaceted world of multimedia.

Begin your empathic exploration by turning on a local radio station. It doesn’t matter which station you’ve tuned in to; just pay special attention to the advertisements. If you’d like, flip through the channels until you get one that’s playing ads. Pay close attention to the message that’s being communicated. On a mental or intellectual level, how are the advertisers aiming to grab your attention and persuade you toward their objective? Next, take a step back mentally and observe the vocal inflections used throughout the adverts. What type of feeling is being projected to the listener, and what is its purpose on an emotional level?

Next, find some magazines and flip through the articles and advertisements, even if this means going to your local library to browse the donated periodicals. Instead of paying attention to the articles or advertisements, observe the facial expressions and body language of the models presented throughout. Try modifying your body language and facial expressions to match the models’. How does this make you feel? How does this connect to the article or advertisement? Do you feel these photographs were designed specifically to create some type of emotional response in the viewer?

Next, turn on the television if you have one (otherwise just hop on YouTube and let the pre-video commercials play). Pay close attention to the speed of the ads and the colors they use in the advertising. Which visual elements are designed to persuade viewers to respond in a certain manner? Where is your eye drawn? Do the actors and models represent the true human population or are they limited to a certain ethnicity, body type, or set of behavioral norms?

Finally, watch a television program or movie. You may instead choose to flip through the channels and observe different styles of programming. Throughout your viewing, try modifying your facial expressions to match the actors’. Can you invoke the emotion they are portraying on film? How do their emotional expressions align with the story, and what kind of emotional state do you feel the actors themselves were experiencing on the particular day they were working on set? What was going through the actors’ heads? Is their method-acting strong enough to eclipse their personal emotions, or do you catch psychic glimpses of their personal emotional states distinct from the film or program? Document these findings in your journal and repeat the exercise whenever you feel the need to observe empathic energy from this vantage point.

EMPATHIC CONTEMPLATION
The ASMR Phenomenon

A number of people occasionally experience a sensation of blissful, hypnotic tingling and goose bumps on the head, neck, scalp, and shoulders when they experience a certain type of empathetic connection. Some refer to the sensation as attention-induced euphoria, a term coined by Andrew MacMuiris, but the most commonly accepted term is autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR), coined by Jenn Allen.15 This phenomenon is fully experienced only when a person is socially engaged in a nonjudgmental, empathically receptive state of mind. ASMR is an experience that, for many, bridges the physiological and the metaphysical.

I remember when I was around ten years old and would refer to ASMR as “feeling shy” for a person (I didn’t know how else to put it). The tingly sensation would occur when someone else would behave in a sweet, innocent, or helpful manner, such as when demonstrating compassion or performing some sort of kind favor. I still feel this from time to time even now! Some people get this endorphin-powered “brain massage” when they are receiving gentle instruction or explanations from another person, when they are receiving care from a kindhearted doctor, when someone is speaking with an accent, when they are the recipient of a random act of kindness, when they are observing a person who is very focused on a task, or when someone touches their hair. Others say it occurs when they feel a sense of sharing an experience with another person (even if it’s an instructional video) or when they feel the other person is nurturing or endearing. Some people experience ASMR from spending time with children or interacting with individuals who are especially humble or kind. Many say the experience makes them feel like a child again who is in the position of receiving love, care, or compassionate instruction, making it a crucial link between civic altruism and self-soothing endorphins.

This sensation of feeling genuinely cared for by a nonjudgmental, nonmanipulative person may be connected to early childhood development and may be reinforced by the fact that adults often interact with people who are less “pure” or gentle on a daily basis. The feeling is similar to getting goose bumps when hearing a very emotionally moving song or watching an emotional video. The endorphin-fueled experience of ASMR is sometimes called a “brain orgasm,” though it is entirely nonsexual in nature.

This strange feeling has not been studied in depth, though there are some independent studies being done, such as those at www.ASMR-Research.org. There are Internet threads, groups, and discussion forums dedicated to the experience. There’s even an ASMR app for smartphones! Some members of the growing ASMR community create intricate videos on YouTube that make use of whispering, crinkling, tapping, chewing, subtle nature sounds, and gentle roleplay devoted solely to inspiring these empathetic tingles—and some of these videos have hundreds of thousands of views. Video and audio recordings only sometimes induce ASMR for me, but a handful of real-life situations easily do. My favorite ASMR-inducing YouTubers are Check It Out, yanghaiying, and even CrazyRussianHacker. (What can I say? Accents often do it for me—it’s different for everyone!) A number of people use ASMR videos of all varieties for relaxation and sleep inducement, even if they don’t necessarily experience the actual tingling sensations of ASMR.

All current terms and research for this sensation come from private individuals rather than scientists. This strange, comforting sensation seems to be linked directly to empathy, and I hope that scientists will examine this in future years.

CHAPTER MEDITATION
Observing Empathy at Large

For this empathic meditation, pick a time and place where you can people-watch for up to an hour. A good place might be a shopping mall in the midst of a Saturday afternoon consumer rush. A more comfortable choice might be a public park at the same time, or an outdoor concert venue.

1. Begin by getting comfortable in your environment. Find a bench or a spot on the grass (if you’re outside) where you will be able to sit comfortably and watch people as they go past you, to and fro. Bring this book with you so it looks like you are reading, when in actuality you are secretly observing others. Just try not to look like an empathic investigator—or a voyeuristic creep!

2. Draw attention to your breath. Take deep and meaningful breaths to calm and center your energy. Count your inhalations and exhalations if necessary. With your book in hand, enter a place of inner peace and quietude, even amid the hustle and bustle surrounding you. Get in your own little world.

3. Envision yourself surrounded by a crystalline barrier of energy. This will help establish a small protective barrier, even by means of a simple visualization. As your aura expands to meet this visualized barrier, see yourself in a state of blissful awareness and peace. You are now safe to observe others and will not be affected by their energy to any significant degree.

4. As you pretend to read, bring your attention to the sounds around you. Listen for snippets of people’s activities. Hear their feet as they tread, their bags as they shuffle, their conversations as they speak. If you’re outside, you might hear birds chirping, squirrels running about, or wind blowing through trees.

5. As you look up from the book, bring your focus to the energy field of one particular person or situation that catches your attention. Feel the energy flowing from your gaze to the person or situation. Feel yourself energetically interacting with them without them being aware that they’re observed. If your subject has company, pay attention to how other people in the situation are responding or interacting. Pay attention to the subtleties of the person or situation: how are they communicating? Pay attention to their vocal tone, their body language, their subtle tics and quirks. If at any time you feel nervous or watched, simply bring your attention back to the book you’re holding.

6. Continue to covertly perform this activity on other people and situations. Examine the nuances of each social interaction that catches your attention. Experiment by viewing solitary individuals, couples, parents, children, families, flocks of teenagers, people talking on their phone, people reading a book, and so on. Don’t analyze or theorize about the individuals themselves; simply analyze their social interactions.

7. Form your own conclusions about how empathy is being utilized in these situations. Are some people expressing or exchanging more empathy than others? Does everyone seem to have a similar attitude, or are different people experiencing different emotional extremes? Does anyone’s behavior reveal them to be engaged in emotional contagion? Does anyone intuitively sense you watching them?

8. When you feel as though you’ve sufficiently observed these varieties of social interactions, write about your experiences and observations in your journal or Book of Shadows and see how the experience adds to your perspective of human empathy and energy exchange. If you choose to perform this meditation regularly, you may consider bringing your journal with you to document your observations while you are in the process of performing the activity.

[contents]

1. Scott Cunningham, Earth Power (St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn, 1983), chapter 2.

2. Karla McLaren, The Art of Empathy (Boulder, CO: Sounds True, 2013), chapter 2.

3. Leslie S. Greenberg and Robert Elliott, eds., Empathy Reconsidered: New Directions in Psychotherapy (Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, 1997), p. 186.

4. Sheri Breault Kreitner (username “LunarWisdom”), What Is an Empath? (Oct. 21, 2009), www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NJciKB-uLU.

5. Jad Alexander, “Empathy 101,” The Book of Storms, http://mysilentecho.com/dreamtongue1.htm.

6. Sara H. Konrath, Edward H. O’Brien, and Courtney Hsing, “Changes in Dispositional Empathy in American College Students Over Time,” Personality and Social Psychology Review vol. 15, no. 2 (May 2011): 180–198, http://psr.sagepub.com/content/15/2/180.

7. These research articles are referenced at www.AutismResearchCentre.com/project_1_empathy.

8. Inbal Ben-Ami Bartal, Jean Decety, and Peggy Mason, “Empathy and Pro-Social Behavior in Rats,” Science vol. 334, issue 6061 (Dec. 2011): 1427–30, http://science.sciencemag.org/content/334/6061/1427.

9. Jesse J. Prinz, “The Moral Emotions,” The Oxford Handbook of Philosophy of Emotion (Dec. 2009), www.oxfordhandbooks.com/view/10.1093/oxfordhb/9780199235018.001.0001/oxfordhb-9780199235018-e-24.

10. Links to Mehrabian’s research can be found at www.kaaj.com/psych.

11. Jonathan H. Turner, On the Origins of Human Emotions (Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press, 2000), chapter 5.

12. Elaine Hatfield, John T. Cacioppo, and Richard L. Rapson, Emotional Contagion (New York: Cambridge University Press, 1994).

13. Christopher Cardoso, Mark A. Ellenbogen, and Anne-Marie Linnen, “The Effect of Intranasal Oxytocin on Perceiving and Understanding Emotion on the Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test (MSCEIT),” Emotion vol. 14, no. 1 (Feb. 2014): 43–50, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24188065.

14. Marco Iacoboni, Mirroring People (New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 2008), pp. 114–131.

15. More information about both MacMuiris and Allen can be found at ASMRUniversity.com.

CHAPTER II

The Metaphysics
of Empathy

“When I wish to find out how wise, or how stupid, or how good, or how wicked is any one, or what are his thoughts at the moment, I fashion the expression of my face, as accurately as possible, in accordance with the expression of his, and then wait to see what thoughts or sentiments arise in my mind or heart, as if to match or correspond with the expression.”

—Edgar Allan Poe, The Purloined Letter

EMPATHIC ANECDOTE

LSD and the Empath’s Spiral Nature

Mystical experiences transcend description. Words fall short and don’t do justice to the experiences. Mystical states can be reached through a variety of methods. Mystical schools of thought exist both as independent pursuits and as offshoots of traditional religions, such as the Sufis (related to Islam), Kabbalists (related to Judaism), and various branches of Christian mysticism. Many indigenous practices across the globe can now be deemed “shamanic” or “ecstatic” in nature, with mystical experiences being central to their existence. Eastern spiritual paths also greatly emphasize mystical states of consciousness without issue, which is probably one reason why Eastern imagery is so often coupled with the use of psychedelics in the West.

American psychologist Abraham Maslow, whose “hierarchy of needs” theory has become quite popularized (see chapter VII), also explored in his research what he calls “peak experiences.” Maslow reported that people who embrace humor, respectful living, open-mindedness, and humility as general rules are those who are able to reach these temporary mystical states of consciousness where the self joins in union with God, with divine Oneness, with the elements, or with what have you. According to modern researchers, peak experiences can be invoked through numerous methods including fasting, dancing, drug use, meditation, rituals, controlled breathing, experiences in nature, musical experiences, and so on.

In those formative years of puberty I was actively discovering myself through trial and error, as many of us do. Rebelling against the status quo, my mind was focused on subculture and art, on strange and sensory experiences. There was also a fixation on creating mystical, gnostic “peak” experiences, as it was only recently that I understood this reality as alive and conscious; the veil of atheism had been pierced by entheogenic experiences alongside non-drug mystical experiences such as ritual, meditation, music, and dance.

I was spending most of my afterschool time with diverse groups of friends with varying empathetic capacities. My own empathy (and probably ego!) was uncontrolled at the time, and while I did associate with a handful of people I considered good friends, others were people with whom I did not actually have much in common aside from youthfulness and alternative thinking. As an uncontrolled empath, I felt identification with anyone and everyone and was highly susceptible to peer pressure. Even though many of the people I associated with didn’t truly care about me and were mainly occupied with judgment and social drama, I didn’t see it that way and continued to hang out with whoever wanted to hang out with me. We all want to be accepted.

I had found that marijuana and other substances provided a sort of “spiritual shortcut” to expanded states of consciousness. While I still believe this to be true, it’s not true for everyone: drugs amplify what’s already there, which is why I took my experiences to a spiritual place. But not every mystical experience is filled with beauty and grace.

I had never tried LSD, and had read about the amazing states of awareness that the drug is known to have inspired in countless individuals. Without considering the set and setting and without considering the drug’s source, I ate a double-stack dose of street-kid acid on a pink piece of Pez candy. Everything was fine at first, but as the drug started to kick in, the veil of social pretense suddenly began to crumble all around me. The acid was blowing my mind, but not in a good way. Instead of experiencing a pleasantly mystical state of consciousness, the environment was influencing the experience to be one of soul-shaking fear. The trip was hitting me hard, and I was beginning to feel what it was like to be in a state of mental hell.

The trip began in a public park at dusk. About twenty other teens, all of whom I was acquainted with, were chatting among themselves. I began to perceive snippets of the conversations and witnessed how “empty” the discussions actually seemed. I was absorbing the hidden fears and judgments present in everyone I observed. Quickly realizing that my mind was in a different place than these individuals’, I stepped back and bumped into a drinking fountain; all attention turned toward me and the energetic absorption increased. Internally, an unprecedented fear arose, while on the outside I maintained a blank stare as others went about their business. When it became known that I was on a “bad trip,” some people started messing with me for their own amusement—this was an uncomfortable emotional revelation.

Later in the trip, having been driven to a friend’s house, I observed every conversation around me as a spiral of energy between minds. As the spiral of energy went quickly from one person to the next, that person would speak. Sometimes the spiral would enter multiple people’s minds at the same time. I was mentally predicting who would speak next and could predict exactly when the conversation would come back to focus on me. I was able to witness how reality operates in spirals and cycles. Somehow, every conversational spiral swirled back into me and ended with people’s attention being focused on my state of being. As this psychic whirlpool occurred, I absorbed the emotional energy present in any given conversation. I realized that empathy was like a sponge. While absorbing and assimilating these intense energies, my own personality was pushed aside as others’ stepped in. Sadly, I instead remained in a dreadfully fearful silence, observing and absorbing instead of choosing to project personal energy into the conversations.

This experience gave me insights into the nature of empathy and the reasons why the ability must be harnessed. It taught me the danger of passivity in the face of negativity. Luckily, this experience also taught me the lesson of social discernment: those with whom we spend our time are of the utmost importance in maintaining personal wellness. While the whole experience invoked mortal terror in me, the many lessons I learned were something to be very thankful for.

✴ ✴ ✴

Empathy as a Spiritual Force

Over the last three decades, the terms empath and empathy have become commonly used in a number of metaphysical circles, and a great number of people have become self-identifying empaths. A great number of psychics, healers, mystics, occultists, and other spiritually minded folk have caught on to the phenomenon as a significant aspect of humanity’s sacred nature.

Metaphysically speaking, experiencing a high level of empathy is similar to a strongly psychic person receiving constant extrasensory impressions and mental stimuli or a person prone to mediumship receiving daily visitations from spirits and ghosts—any of these experiences can be overwhelming even if they are of a spiritual nature. Some people like to use the term clairempathy to differentiate extreme empathy from common, everyday human empathy, though I tend not to make that distinction throughout this book because these are simply different expressions of the same thing.

Both scientists and mystics understand that empathy is a natural, inheritable trait present in human DNA. Many people also believe this to be true about psychic gifts and other spiritual abilities. Personally, I’m of the belief that spiritual and psychological traits can be inherited (much like hair color or eye color) but that these things are not always exclusively a result of genetic heritage. In a scientific sense, empathy is a genetic characteristic that everyone utilizes to different degrees.

Empathic skills and psychic skills both require some amount of the other to function properly. It’s rare that a person is simultaneously a strong empath and a strong psychic, because each utilizes a different part of the brain and perception. Many people go through periods of strong mental awareness or of strong emotional awareness. Most psychics and empaths I know are dominant in one particular area, yet they have a decent capacity in the other in order to maintain healthy functioning and interpersonal communication. I’ve only met a few people who are extremely empathic and psychic simultaneously.

One individual who experiences extreme levels of both on a constant basis is Kelly McGannon, who operates the website www.bridgebetween twoworlds.com. In addition to working jobs that require extreme mental acuteness and academic knowledge, she puts her empathic and psychic skills to use through empathetic spiritual counseling, Jung-inspired dream interpretation, shamanic-style healing, and spirit mediumship. Kelly believes that her strong psychic and empathic skills are attributed to biology: her mother is extremely empathic and her father is extremely psychic. This perspective makes it reasonable to believe that high capacities of these traits can be genetic. (Kelly was also raised in an environment where these skills were encouraged and considered normal, so the nature-versus-nurture question can arise as well.) Similarly, it is in everybody’s human genetics to inherit a liver, but it’s not in everyone’s genetics to inherit a strong liver; perhaps the same principles can be applied to nonphysical abilities.

It’s so easy to compare and contrast oneself to other people, but in reality this is a form of giving away one’s energy. Social competition might feel inspiring in the moment, but it actually detracts from a person’s own unique abilities, lessening the empathetic exchange. Instead, try setting realistic and attainable goals, both big and small, that have nothing to do with competition but everything to do with personal achievement. Success occurs when we aim to impress ourselves!

Empathy in the New Age

Psychologically speaking, most people who do not actually have their emotional needs met are likely to lack consistent empathy as a result. Modern society is said by some to have a lack of empathy, and many scientists believe this is greatly due to childhood experiences and the level of civic and social empathy promoted within a person’s living environment. Childhood experiences and genetic predispositions can strongly influence a person’s empathetic capacity. Repetitive cycles of trauma or reward, both in childhood and later in life, can give rise to everyday responses of emotional expression or repression. Metaphysical circles often add that a person’s astrological blueprint (birth chart) and past-life experiences strongly influence psychic and empathic dispositions. At the end of the day, the causes are irrelevant; the most important aspect is how we learn to deal with our situation and what we ourselves do to perpetuate a more empathetic and emotionally aware world.

In the New Age movement, empathy is believed to be increasing in global strength as humanity progresses to more enlightened, peaceful, and self-aware states of being. In the early 2000s we saw the recognition of Indigo Children, Crystal Children, Rainbow Children, Star Children, and other ultra-colorful descriptions used to identify a new generation of kids who demonstrated particular psychic, emotional, or rational abilities from a young age. I have no doubt that this “higher consciousness at birth” was and still is occurring.

Empathy is recognized and celebrated in the New Age movement. Having originated in 1970s Britain, the New Age movement identified itself as a conglomeration of multiple spiritual beliefs and practices not generally accepted by the Western mainstream. Rather than being its own religion (though some see it as a continuation of Theosophy), “New Age” became a catchall phrase for uncommon metaphysics. Everything from Reiki to shamanism, angels to mediumship, and lost civilizations to UFOlogy, all find their place somewhere in the New Age. Additionally, ancient practices such as yoga, astrology, herbal medicine, acupressure, mantras, meditation, and folk magick can be subsumed under a New Age guise, even if the origins of these practices are far from “new.” Because New Age has such a large scope, even the most serious occult movements have in some manner mingled with New Age thought. The term is unavoidable! Because of the extreme degree of eclecticism of many who follow the movement, an uncomfortable amount of sensationalism, superstition, chicanery, and mumbo-jumbo surrounds New Age ideologies in general.

I’ve taken a sort of hit-or-miss approach to the New Age movement’s various practices and practitioners. As an empath, I respect all reliable paths to healing and awareness and am overjoyed that the movement has brought so many important ideas into the limelight, but I’ve also seen profiteering or wishful thinking assuming the guise of enlightenment. Most self-proclaimed “lightworkers” I’ve met carry a great deal of personal darkness in the form of passive-aggressive criticism, extreme judgment issues, and general self-righteousness. Still, a great number of spiritual seekers can work with the New Age light without being blinded by it.

When it comes to the New Age, it can be difficult for people to separate the wheat from the chaff when a movement of thought integrates something as time-tested as traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) with something as wishy-washy as healing cancer with crystals. The line between placebo and real energy medicine is thin, which can serve to confuse, avert, or delude a great number of seekers. Nevertheless, virtually all modern Western metaphysical systems are integrated with the New Age movement to one degree or another, for better or worse, and I believe that each seeker has the responsibility to approach mystical systems with an open mind and a healthy amount of skepticism. In the end, I believe it all comes down to the need to have progressive intentions, solid academic research, and honest practice. I am glad that empathy is becoming more recognized and analyzed in the New Age movement.

Empathy in Magickal Paths

Within modern Pagan systems—which are related to, yet distinct from, the New Age movement—we see empathy emphasized in coven camaraderie and training circles. More and more earth-based spiritual paths are also embracing the benefits of community service, community projects, charity, and social work. In fact, many use community work as a requirement for training.

Esoteric groups build empathy in the form of social support coupled with ritual drama. After all, to invoke a deity or spirit is to empathically connect with its vital essence. To enact metaphorical and mythology-based drama during ceremony is to empathically invoke those mythic pantheons into the observers and participants. Empathy is a force in Witchcraft used to align with Spirit and to help manifest wishes, prayers, and spells for oneself and one’s community.

One would be hard-pressed to find an overt emphasis on empathy within Western magickal paths—but that doesn’t mean it’s not there. Instead, we are more prone to find an emphasis on the power of love, both human and cosmic. While these forces may not be specifically termed “empathy,” the idea of love as a force of spiritual goodness can be found in all varieties of religions and mystical systems in the Western world. The extent to which one embraces and lives by “love” as an esoteric force is entirely up to the interpretation of the practitioner.

One of the most well-known magickal emphases on love lies in the original Drawing Down of the Moon found in the original Gardnerian tradition of Wicca. This is a poetic work that was pieced together by High Priestess Doreen Valiente. The Drawing Down describes the Great Goddess as saying, “All acts of love and pleasure are my rituals” and “My law is love unto all beings.” Is this energy of love directly related to the experience of and necessity for human empathy? I most certainly believe so!

Thelema, which is an esoteric school of thought founded by British magician Aleister Crowley in 1904, emphasizes, “Love is the law.” This statement, alongside “Love is the law, love under will” are drawn from Liber AL vel Legis (Liber CCXX): The Book of the Law, which Crowley received during a three-day trance-channeling with his Holy Guardian Angel, known to him as Aiwass. As a philosophical system, Thelema has become most prevalently integrated with the Ordo Templi Orientis (OTO), a prominent esoteric lodge, but is also upheld within other orders, including the Argentium Astrum (Order of the Silver Star, or AA) and the Ecclesia Gnostica Catholica (EGC). Though Crowley himself may not be thought of as a particularly empathetic individual, many of his channelings and rituals express divine love through and through, advocating love as the highest human evolutionary potential. One of the most relevant ways that this love can be expressed in the world is through the consistent utilization of empathy. We can more easily learn life’s lessons and grow in spiritual consciousness when we exercise our esoteric empathy throughout daily life.

Western paths tend to emphasize the mental plane more than the emotional plane. Western schools of ceremonial magick are based on science and academia more than on intuition and connection to nature, while Witchcraft usually emphasizes the latter. Still, modern Witches and magicians of all varieties may choose to perform rituals outdoors in the elements or within the confines of a lodge or indoor sacred space depending on the ceremony or astrological conditions—or the weather! Neither earth-based Witchery nor the ceremonialism of the Western mystery traditions is necessarily better, but they each demonstrate a different style of spiritual connection. People of all magickal traditions can benefit from the wisdom held within each sphere. The division between Witches and magicians is decreasing, and the two spheres are constantly influencing each other, exchanging ideologies, and helping evolve each other’s practices. We now find more Witches identifying with Hermeticism and more ceremonial magicians identifying with earth-based spiritual paths.

Personally, I believe that Eastern philosophies and ethics, including those found in Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, Sikhism, Jainism, Shinto, and other traditions, is a foundational puzzle piece in the ethical framework of Western occultism and Paganism. Eastern and Western mysticism are not as separate as one might think, and in many ways they are complementary to each other. The increasing integration of Eastern and Western spirituality is allowing empathy to become more pronounced in modern occultism on a global scale.

IN PRACTICE
An Uncrossing and Cleansing Spell for Empaths

The purpose of this working is to banish negative external energy from your sphere. For empaths who experience a dose of paranoia, it’s easy to assume that overwhelming emotional experiences are the result of curses that have been cast. While this may be true on rare occasion, the vast majority of these experiences are the result of improper energy processing. Still, there are times when a person finds it difficult to discern whether their experiential negativity is externally or internally sourced, or if it’s a combination of the two factors. Because empaths absorb external emotional energies whether they’d like to or not, occasional uncrossing spells and rituals can help dissipate energy that has attached itself, whether intentional or otherwise.

As with most folk magick, this spell serves as a framework and is open to modification. Turn off your phone and work by sunlight, moonlight, or candlelight. It is vitally important that you feel safe and protected in an area of your home or in nature that makes you feel comfortable and secure. You will need to situate yourself undisturbed in a sacred space for at least an hour. Beforehand, gather an empty glass bottle or vial, a bit of vinegar, an incense charcoal, and a safe burning container (or simply light a stick of incense that you feel is especially mystical). Feel free to use any of the herbal components mentioned in this spell that are readily available; otherwise, you may substitute certain components or leave some out. You may also substitute other components in this spell; for example, you may wish to use Florida water, vodka, or witch hazel in place of the vinegar. Trust your intuition. Additionally, get a black onyx stone and place it in the empty jar before beginning the spell. Also, be sure you’ve ignited the incense charcoal beforehand outside of your ritual space, so the fumes won’t influence your work.

In your sacred space, enter a meditative state of mind. Slow your breathing, close your eyes, and focus on the environment. Allow your emotional body to merge with the energies surrounding you. If you are outdoors, consciously align your emotional body to the rhythm of nature. Pay attention to the subtle sounds around you, tuning in to the elements that surround you. If you’re indoors, sense the layout of the room. Take mental note of the objects and items situated around you.

When you’re ready, cast a magick circle, perform the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram, or simply visualize yourself surrounded in a sphere of glowing white protective light. Craft a sacred space in whatever way makes you feel comfortable. Invite the guides, guardians, angels, ancestors, and protective spirits in a manner that resonates with you personally. When you truly and strongly feel their presence, proclaim: “Mighty ones, bear witness. I channel all curses within this!” Hold the glass jar above your head. Continue to repeat the affirmation as many times as you’d like, imagining any external juju lifting off of you and moving into the black onyx. Rub the bottle and/or stone on your body to help external energies filter into the spell.

Place a combination of agrimony and rue on the ember. (You may also add dried nettle, if you so choose.) Waft its smoke around your body. If you choose, feel free to get skyclad (nude) and allow the smoke to touch every inch of your physical body. Be sure to inhale a bit of this smoke so its essence can enter your bloodstream. As you do this, visualize the smoke vaporizing and banishing external negative influences: this is a super-smudging.

Next, sprinkle the vinegar around you and rub some onto your brow, the top of your head, and the back of your neck. Declare: “With this bitter water it all shall lift: external pains be set adrift!”

Use the rest of the vinegar to anoint various places on your body that you feel could use an energetic boost or that may carry excessive energy. If you have any physical injuries or disabilities, be sure to anoint these particularly vulnerable areas.

Add a few drops of the vinegar to the bottle, add a bit of salt, and then fill up the bottle with any combination of these uncrossing herbs: angelica, sulfur, anise seed, balm of Gilead (poplar bud), rue, nettle, wahoo, agrimony, and chili pepper. For an added boost, create an herbal sachet for the bath using these herbs.

To conclude, waft the bottle through the incense smoke, anoint it in the shape of a pentagram using the vinegar, and hold it to your face. Inhale the energetic essence of the herbs, and exhale blue light around the bottle. When you feel that the bottle of herbs has been activated and is aligned to your energy, give deep thanks to the spirits and close the circle. Keep the bottle by your bedside or carry it with you when you need to ensure that your energy stays your own.

Empathy versus Psychicism and Other Traits

People defined as psychics have a strong amount of psychic ability, and people defined as empaths have a strong amount of empathic ability. Simply put, psychics are individuals who are keenly mentally perceptive and intuitive, while empaths are people who are more emotionally perceptive and intuitive. As we’ve examined, empaths not only tend to have knowledge about another person’s internal emotional state but also are prone to taking on or absorbing the other person’s state of being. Everyone has some amount of psychic ability and some amount of empathic ability, each to varying degrees. Many would say that the two abilities are complementary, just like the cognitive and affective processes of the brain operate together.

An empath may not demonstrate the level of intellectual discernment that a psychic would. For example, a psychic might look at somebody and objectively sense that they are struggling with a drug addiction. An empath, however, could only tell that the person is emotionally hurting. Someone who demonstrates both psychic and empathic qualities might sense a bit of both, but their impression wouldn’t be as strong either way as it would be if they were predominantly psychic or predominantly empathic.

Similarly, I remember an instance years ago when I met up with a couple of friends who greeted me very warmly and overexcitedly. Empathically, I absorbed the emotion of overjoy yet sensed that something was “off” that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Later, a third person told me that they had just been saying malicious things about me and were overcompensating in their behavior toward me; this is the sort of detail that I would have been able to sense if I were more psychic than empathic.

Some healers believe that a person who is experiencing extreme psychic overload should try to move their focus into the emotionally based empathic realm and that a person who is experiencing extreme empathic overload should try to move their focus into the mentally based psychic realm to help balance their perceptions, if only momentarily.

Some people like to use the term physical empathy if they are able to sense the physical pain or ailment of another person. Because empathy itself is an emotional experience, this physical transference is likely more related to medical intuition, which is a type of psychic ability used for sensing a person’s physical ailments or imbalances.

I am blessed to have a friend like Lisa Allen, also known as Calantirniel or Aartiana, who is an astrologer, herbalist, and co-founder of the Tië eldaliéva spiritual path based on the works of J.R.R. Tolkien. Lisa is also someone who experiences physical transference. She told me, “I will get pain in my body that is not mine. For instance, if someone has wrist pain due to an injury and I give him or her a reading, if I don’t cleanse my energy, I can get wrist pain the next day. What I didn’t know until recently, however, is that when someone is under a lot of emotional or mental stress, and if I do not physically cleanse myself and/or the area, I will end up getting a physical pain representative of that stress. It takes a long time for these symptoms to leave, and sometimes just the acknowledgment of where the pain came from is not enough to process it out. Sometimes this will require physical treatment; sometimes I have to go to the store to buy metaphysical dynamite to blow that stuff out! What’s the advantage? I can manifest things fast!”

Some practitioners use the terms tele-empathy, telempathy, or telepathic empathy to refer to individuals who demonstrate both psychic and empathic skills to a high degree. A number of empaths I’ve talked to, on the other hand, disagree entirely, feeling that a person cannot be purely psychic and empathic simultaneously, and that the two can only coexist in different ratios. This view is understandable because both traditional psychicism and empathy are such precise skills focused on different things: one on the mental plane and the other on the emotional. If these skills were coexisting in full force, the result would be maddening; this is why I believe people tend to be either predominantly psychic or predominantly empathic, though additional metaphysical skills can certainly come into the mix. Also, though a person may be “mainly” this or that, one’s abilities can fluctuate day to day. There are some days when my empathy is turned waaay up, for example, and other days when my psychic ability is more prominent.

As we’ve explored, the intellectual, rational, cognitive mind is an ultimately incomplete device for fully understanding and processing life’s experiences. The same goes for the empathic, emotionally-centric portion of our constitution. Both must work in unison to form a perceptive, communicative whole. A healthy psychic has a decent empathic capacity, and a healthy empath has a decent amount of psychicism, so the two are never fully mutually exclusive. Someone may wake from a sound sleep and suddenly think that a place in the world is in pain, only to later read the newspaper and discover that the area they perceived just suffered a natural disaster. A family member or close friend might suddenly know that a person is experiencing deep sadness or high ecstasy, a perception that is both psychic and emotionally based. A person may be able to instantly sense when others are disapproving or angry with them, even if they’re not directly in the other person’s presence and with no prior indication hinting at their disapproval. These occurrences may also be considered examples of telempathy.

There are other times when the line between psychicism and empathy can blur. One of my spiritual elders recently reminded me that one palpable bridge between the psychic realm and the empathetic realm occurs with psychometry, which is a form of psychic retrocognition (as opposed to precognition). This entails a person holding an object and immediately receiving impressions about its history or emotional vibration trapped within the item. Psychometry and other psychic skills can sometimes bridge the gap between the mind (psyche) and the heart (emotive). One may also absorb residual emotional energy in a house or an area of land. One may practice abilities of mediumship, communicating with spirits of the deceased, and become overwhelmed by their projected emotion. A number of psychic arts have the tendency to hinge on the empathic realm, though empathy remains distinctive because of its emotional implication. Though empathy is its own unique entity, additional spiritual skills can intertwine, interconnect, and interrelate with it.

Similar Spiritual Abilities

Reading a person’s actions, words, body language, expressions, and microexpressions to discern what the person is thinking and feeling is a type of observational psychicism. Coupled with empathy, this creates a powerful blend of extrasensory perception. Some individuals are better able to read body language than others, which can lead to increased psychic abilities if the skill is honed with objectivity. This is especially true for people who have suffered abuse, who are hearing impaired (and thus good at reading body language), who are visually impaired (and thus good at reading vocal intonation), or who have been otherwise forced to be especially observant for the sake of personal or familial safety.

Psychic phenomena can also be nonvisible, as is the case with psychic visions, spirit communication, intuitive foresight about a person or situation, or oneiric skills such as prophetic dreaming and astral projection. Medical intuition—where a person is able to discern illnesses or issues simply by observing a client—may be a combination of observational and nonvisible psychicism and tends to utilize the psychic skills of clairvoyance, clairaudience, and/or clairsentience in diagnosis rather than empathy.

Psychological and neurological studies of empathy remind us that empathy is scientifically verifiable—something that psychics of all varieties have long struggled to demonstrate within their own arts. Empathy and other forms of psychicism are very much part of the human constitution. All sentient beings use some amount of empathy and psychicism in daily life, even though it’s not always recognized as such.

Many different metaphysical skills, abilities, and powers are recognized in the field of parapsychology, the psychology of paranormal phenomena as it relates to the mind. Though I have qualms with the terms paranormal and supernatural in reference to many of these natural and normal skills, I understand the need to differentiate these meta-skills from ordinary physical abilities that are studied in common science.

When examining empathy within a metaphysical framework, it’s a good idea to have some comparison between it and other skills. The spiritual abilities listed here are not directly related to empathy. As an empath, you may find yourself identifying with some of these spiritual skills but not others. You may find yourself identifying deeply with one skill but not at all with the others. You might find yourself exemplifying a mix of different skills in different degrees. You might find yourself in a state of confusion. At the end of the day, everyone has a bit of everything sprinkled in their character to one degree or another, all rolled up into one multitalented individual called the self.

For more information on clairvoyance, psychicism, astral projection, and related skills, I recommend checking out the comprehensive series of guidebooks co-written by Carl Llewellyn Weschcke and Joe H. Slate. There are many additional books on the market that explore these spiritual skills and others; simply hop online for knowledgeable suggestions and informed recommendations. The following list is provided to differentiate empathy from other skills that are commonly considered metaphysical and to give you, the reader, a better idea of your own unique skill set.

Astral Projection and Bilocation: Those who are prone to astral or bilocative work have the ability to project their etheric body outside of their physical frame. People prone to this work may be drawn to shamanism, etheric shapeshifting, spirit work, psychedelic spirituality, and multidimensional odysseys of the mind. When controlled, this ability can be immensely healing and can open the door to gaining wisdom from other planes of reality. As a general rule, those who have strong abilities in these realms are prone to removing their perception from their physical body throughout the day, and they feel safer and more secure in “disconnected” realms of existence, such as those that involve dreaming, deep meditation, or even gaming.

Clairaudience: This is a type of psychic phenomena concerned with hearing sounds, voices, or other audible messages pertaining to the past, present, or future. This supernormal form of hearing can appear to originate from spirit guides, angels, demons, ghosts, deities, or guardian entities.

Clairsentience: Clairsentience is a type of psychic phenomena concerned with intuitively feeling energies or receiving messages pertaining to the past, present, or future. The common ability of picking up on the vibes of a person, place, or thing is a type of clairsentience. This is the most common form of psychic ability. Clairfragrance (receiving intuitive smells) and clairgustus (receiving intuitive tastes) are part of clairsentience.

Clairvoyance: This is a type of psychic phenomena concerned with seeing significant events or images pertaining to the past, present, or future. This sight takes place in the form of receiving closed-eye visions or of visions received during divination or scrying.

Divination and Prophecy: Divination is the psychic ability of receiving significant messages pertaining to the past, present, or future by means of divining, scrying, or otherwise “reading the signs.” Divination is an art as old as humankind itself, and in metaphysical circles some of the most common forms of divination include the Tarot, runes, palmistry, mirror gazing, stone casting, bone casting, shell casting, tea leaf reading, spirit boards, and so on. Prophecy and oracular work, on the other hand, can be described as a spiritually inspired form of precognition.

Mediumship: Mediumship is the skill of receiving messages from spirits of the dead or from another invisible realm. The art of physical mediumship relies on the psychic opening him- or herself to the spirit realm to the point of invocation or possession; from there, the spirit addresses a living individual or group of people, such as in a séance. Those who perform mental or cognitive mediumship utilize clairvoyance, clairaudience, and/or clairsentience to receive and convey pertinent messages through their own personality. Automatic writing is a form of mediumship. The process of materialization—producing physical objects seemingly from thin air—is renowned for being practiced by a number of “gurus” in the East and is usually regarded as fraudulent. (This, of course, gives a bad rap to people who are honestly trying to help their clients by utilizing their natural gifts of spirit communication.) Mediumship and spirit work can give rise to an empathetic experience by way of the practitioner becoming overwhelmed with the emotional energy of a spirit or an environment.

Mentalism: This is a form of psychological manipulation rather than actual psychic ability. Mentalism is usually classified as a type of stage magic or illusion. Mentalists have the ability to observe and direct a person’s five physical senses to the point of convincing them that a sixth sense is being utilized. Some mentalists, however, are deeply interested in the psychic and paranormal arts and make use of these arts not for entertainment but for personal spiritual progression (see Clint Marsh’s book in the bibliography). In this case, mentalism can be viewed as a tool for personal psychic development, with an emphasis on the mind’s ability to interact with reality, rather than utilizing supernatural forces or deceiving gullible people for personal gain.

Physical Working: This is a form of work that is either energetic or physical, or both, and is focused specifically on healing or somehow altering physical reality. This is related to telekinesis (psychokinesis) because of the ability to manipulate the physical realm. Those who speak of “physical empathy”—the ability to personally feel the physical pain another person is feeling, and which is sometimes connected to medical intuition—may not be exclusively empathic (which is strictly emotional), but may have pronounced talent in physical healing and the manipulation of the manifest plane. Reiki and other forms of energy work are often appealing to those who inherently have skill at manipulating physical reality. Many work as doctors, nurses, veterinarians, physical therapists, massage therapists, herbalists, reflexologists, personal trainers, or acupuncturists or in similar fields. Physical body healing is said by some to have an effect on DNA or cellular structure.

Precognition and Retrocognition: These are a type of psychic phenomena concerned with having a supernormal knowledge of events taking place in the future (precognition) or the unknown past (retrocognition). Precognitives and retrocognitives generally receive their knowledge in the form of waking (or even dreaming) visions, which means that these abilities are manifestations of clairvoyance. The receiving of premonitions is precognitive, though premonitions generally manifest as instinctual feelings of discomfort rather than specific precognitive visions, relating the occurrence to clairsentience. Both past-life recall and clairtangency (also called psychometry, the ability to receive visions from an object simply by touching it) are considered expressions of retrocognition. However, when emotional impressions accompany precognition or retrocognition, the line between empathy and psychicism becomes noticeably blurred.

Psychic Vampirism: This is a type of energy manipulation in the form of receiving energy rather than giving energy, and has gotten a bad rap over time. This skill, however, can be used for both positive and negative means, and many people with this ability follow a strong code of personal ethics. The terms emotional vampire and sympathy vampire more appropriately describe the types of people who are frequently mislabeled as psychic vampires. If a person isn’t aware of their vampiric disposition, then the energy exchange can often go uncontrolled or be dangerously one-sided, potentially turning the person into an emotional vampire or sympathy vampire. Psi-vamps, as they may be called, have the inherent need to absorb human energy (or energy through blood if the vampire identifies as Sanguinarian) to sustain their own prana or qi (personal energy), but this does not necessarily make them bad, evil, or unethical. This “need to feed” is frequently a result of traumatic childhood experiences or near-death experiences; however, trauma of any sort can also induce increased psychic ability, increased mediumship ability, increased astral ability, increased empathic ability, and so on. Many true psychic vampires are much more prone to absorb subtle ambient energy (the unused energy of a crowd, for example) or find a willing donor of blood or energy than they are to knowingly drain a random person’s life force. If a person is aware of their vampiric needs, they are much more able to exercise control and awareness of their disposition—the same goes for empathy! For more information on this fascinating ability, please see Michelle Belanger’s books in the bibliography.

Psychokinesis and Telekinesis: These skills involve the manipulation of physical reality by utilizing the power of the mind or by supernormal means. Psychokinesis can be described as the ability to suddenly physically move objects or people by using the powers of the mind alone. If the movement is unintentional, it is called telekinesis or teleportation. If the person can somehow start fires with their mind, they are considered pyrokinetic, though I have trouble believing any actual evidence exists for such an occurrence. The famous art of spoon-bending is a form of psychokinesis. These forms of physical-reality manipulation have understandably fallen under much scrutiny and skepticism.

Telepathy: This is a type of psychic phenomena concerned with the mind-to-mind communication of images, feelings, colors, or sensations. Virtually anything can be communicated telepathically. Telepathy is an aspect of clairvoyance.

IN PRACTICE
Find Your Metaphysical Elemental Alignment

Tossing aside elemental indications from your astrological birth chart, try “finding your element” based on the variety of spiritual powers. While everything in reality is indeed a fluid spectrum, people are nonetheless naturally inclined toward certain preferences, interests, and abilities in life.

Reflecting on the following divisions can orient you in your unique skill set and can give you an idea of the metaphysical areas you could benefit from working with magically. I have found that the easiest way to contemplate these divisions is by mapping them out on a chart aligned with the common Neopagan directional associations.

In your journal or on a large piece of construction paper, draw a large circle with an equal-armed cross in the center. Label the directions (N, S, W, E) and jot down notes from the following list. For example, write “astral projection” in the southeast part of the circle, write “mentalism” in the southwest, and so on. Once you have constructed the diagram to your liking, objectively reflect on your current personal abilities versus those that you would like to cultivate over time.

East (Air People): Analytical, problem-solving, intellectual, academic, thinking constantly. Enhanced awareness of the mental plane. Powers of psychicism and intuition.

Southeast: Powers of astral projection, bilocation, mediumship, channeling, and precognition.

South (Fire People): Adaptive, easily inspired, communicative, energetic, passionate. Enhanced awareness of the astral plane. Powers of energy manipulation and social activism.

Southwest: Powers of psychic vampirism, mentalism, persuasion.

West (Water People): Emotional, generous, open, relates easily to others, sensitive. Enhanced awareness of the emotional plane. Powers of empathy, sympathy, and psychotherapy.

Northwest: Powers of divination, prophecy, oracular work, and prophetic dreaming.

North (Earth People): Grounded, stable, rational, loyal, centered, contemplative. Enhanced awareness of the physical plane. Powers of body healing and physical medicine.

Northeast: Powers of medical intuition, physical empathy, and retrocognition.

Additionally, if you have room on the chart you created, you may also choose to write down extra correspondences on the lines of the equal-armed cross. Following these elemental examples, you may note the following skills directly on the central lines:

North-to-South: Powers of energy medicine (i.e., Reiki), physical working (i.e., massage therapy, acupuncture, martial arts, etc.), and telekinesis.

West-to-East: Powers of telempathy, clairsentience, clairaudience, clairvoyance, and telepathy.

Once you have discovered your “base” direction or element, think about the other skills and abilities listed near the location of your primary abilities. Do you wish to cultivate these skills and powers more deeply in your life, or do you feel comfortable working within your current paradigm? Record your thoughts and findings in your journal or Book of Shadows.

Receptive and Projective Empathy

When many people think of empathy as a spiritual power, their mind instantly goes to the overwhelming experience of absorbing the emotions that are present in one’s sphere. However, I believe there is another level to the empathic experience. For those readers who consider themselves strong empaths, maybe you have noticed those times when you yourself have the ability to influence other people’s moods when you’re feeling either really good or really bad. I would argue that empaths not only are influenced, but are actually influencers. Rather than simply acting as emotionally absorptive sponges, empaths can project and influence other people’s emotional realities, unconsciously and consciously.

Empathy is so interesting because it can be turned into a projective mode at the flick of a switch. This little empathic secret is not explored very often because high levels of empathy usually make the experience appear to be one-sided. Luckily, we can consciously choose to direct that swirling whirlpool of emotional energy into a motion that radiates outward from us rather than inward toward us. Through conscious redirection, we can shake off social energies that are spiraling into us. If we go into a social situation demonstrating a pessimistic attitude, our dark cloud will rain on everyone’s parade whether or not we intend it. If we are honest with others about how we’re feeling in that sort of scenario and are open to social communion and positive change, we can conduct those negativities into points of optimism.

If we feel balanced and as though there’s an equal give and take between our own energy and the energy of those around us, we then have the option of cycling emotional energy outward. The absorptive and projective sides of empathic energy are constantly flowing simultaneously, but it’s a matter of which one is carrying more force at any given time. Though at times it may feel like we are just absorbing the energies around us, we have the capability to transmute and redirect those vibes, and this is one way that empathic healing and magick can be successful. The more projective, inspirational, and uplifting we are, the more positive an influence we will have on those around us, and the less affected by external energies we’ll be in the process.

Gaining Directive Control

The next time you’re feeling overwhelmed by an empathic experience, keep in mind that the flow of empathic energy actually works in two ways: absorptive and projective. Many mystical systems believe that the left side of the body is receptive or passive, while the right side is projective or active. In this sense, the left side of the body also represents a person’s past, while the right side represents a person’s future. It is reasonable to think that the human energy body works similarly for everyone, just like any other piece of our anatomy. This is especially pertinent for those who are right-handed, but for those who are left-handed or ambidextrous, the manner in which they can conduct energy is naturally more variable.

There are times when we highly empathic folks haven’t taken enough social precautions. There are times when unpredictable situations occur and when we absorb more emotional energy than we feel we can handle in conjunction with our own emotional wells. Sometimes the best way to relieve a distressing emotional buildup is to cry. But we must weep productively, allowing the tears to be deeply cleansing and not debilitating. By allowing emotions to process in a temporary release of tears, we can choose to fill that empty space with awareness, acceptance, and an inspiration for change.

When you experience strong empathy in a social setting (or even the residual emotional energy of a difficult environment, like in a hospital or memorial site), try to see how it enters your personal sphere of energy. Use your senses to feel the emotional point of entry. From personal experience, it seems to me that external energy enters a person through the left side of the body, in a widdershins (counterclockwise) fashion. This spiral of energy enters the body of the empath by swirling around the left side and then entering the empath’s body either at the mind (ajna chakra), heart (anahata chakra), or solar plexus (manipura chakra). Everybody is wired a bit differently, but these points of entry seem to be the most common. Personally, I perceive interpersonal energies spiraling around my head and neck area.

The empath has the ability to instantly transmute external energy when it enters. The energy can be visualized as exiting the feet so that Mother Nature can take it in. Some empaths like to visualize excessive energy exiting the right hand so it can be directed elsewhere. This energy work is especially beneficial in challenging social settings because it helps the empath invoke a bit of projective energy instead of simply accumulating it all within—which, as you probably know, can be dangerously overwhelming! By seeing and sensing the energies around you radiating outward from your body in a clockwise fashion, the otherwise strong influx of counterclockwise absorption can be lessened. This sort of visualization can occur in a moment of absorptive stress or can become incorporated into a larger meditation or personal ceremony.

You’ve got to take the energetic reins, cowboy! Empaths must strike a balance between energy coming in and going out. Too much focus directed outward or inward leads to an imbalance and potential energetic exhaustion. Many practitioners of energy healing and Reiki actively draw unseen energy into the left hand and conduct it through the right, acting as conduits for forces greater than themselves. Magickal practitioners do the same when conducting the energy of certain cosmic or terrestrial forces. Projection is the key to empathetic magick. In the course of daily conversation, notice how your energy exits your sphere from the right side of the body and enters others through their left. Indeed, we all have the ability to mindfully conduct the energy in our sphere, both coming and going.

This energetic influence holds true both privately and in group settings. Because this happens on an unconscious energetic level, it can even occur despite the emotional walls that less sensitive people construct around themselves. The next time you’re sitting down to tea (or whatnot) with other people, quietly observe if your own mood matches the mood of those around you. If you’re insecure, do other sensitive people around you become insecure? If you’re feeling chipper, do other sensitive people around you act similarly? By observing our own social influence—instead of only feeling influenced by those around us—we can more easily hone the direction our energy flows in any given situation.

We can transform other people’s emotional energies through conversation and through our immediate presence. Alongside a simple visualization of a clockwise projective spiral, sometimes all it takes to redirect social energy in the moment is to speak one little ol’ sentence. Even something as basic as a slightly audible exhalation or an “mmm hmm” can instantly redirect empathic energy from the inside to the outside. By intentionally shifting the dance of energies from absorptive to projective—which is very easy to do—we in turn influence those around us and can help shift perspectives. The more we actively try switching the energetic flow from passive to active, from absorptive to projective, the easier social interactions can become. Practice makes perfect. Empaths are not merely victims of emotional influx; we are transformers … and I’m not talking about Optimus Prime!

Emotional Energy Entering the Body

In addition to visualizing our personal energy becoming more radiant, we can also choose to use words of encouragement and kindness in our daily lives. We can also modify our body language and tone of voice to become “bigger,” which helps establish our presence in a situation where we’d otherwise be inclined to curl up in a fetal position. Larger body movements and vocalizations are tools for projecting empathic energy, thereby easing social anxiety and invoking a bit of self-confidence.

An empath’s words are often very powerful, even commanding, and this can have a big impact on others, to a much greater degree than the empath may realize. The same is true for strong psychics and those who are regularly tapped into nonphysical levels. This also holds true for people who are in positions of power or leadership or whom others look up to for guidance. Words are magickal; they change the perspectives and perceptions of those around us. Even by saying the smallest encouraging statement to someone or by offering a bit of positive feedback, a great echo of influence is created. This perspective shifts the other person’s perspective, sometimes influencing their own behavior and choices, which itself causes the echo to reverberate further throughout the world, influencing the realities of other beings—all because of you!

Personally, throughout my twenties, I was careless and lackadaisical with how I would communicate, not really considering the impact of each word. This is a lesson I am so thankful to have learned over time. The significant impact of our words gives us an obligation of responsibility when we communicate in everyday life. We must choose our words and energetic projections very wisely. Empaths and psychics are very influential types of people, and we have the potential to be overly forceful without even realizing it! Through a mere sentence, even a single word, we can easily and instantaneously push people away or bring them closer together, fill them with self-doubt, or inspire them with encouragement. While it’s not advisable to practice neurotic self-censorship, it truly is essential for us to choose our words wisely and realize how our reality is constantly influencing other people. As Don Miguel Ruiz writes in his book The Four Agreements, “Be impeccable with your word.”

Projection as Manipulation

While it’s true that untrained empaths can easily be persuaded or manipulated, the flip side is that once an empath learns these modes of communication, they themselves can become manipulators. Because empaths can pick up on subtle signs and gestures, we have the ability to modify our own behavior in an effort to influence others. If we can observe someone observing our own body language and mannerisms, we can alter these to sway a person’s perception of us or of a situation.

Some individuals who are less empathically inclined, and who have become masters of manipulation for personal gain, can take advantage of this ability by changing their facial expressions and altering their body language in order to produce a desired outcome from another person or group of people. This sort of manipulation is a type of mentalism that relies on persuasion and chicanery and is a pattern that some empaths may fall into if they are feeling especially victimized or overcome by trauma or by strong empathetic experiences in daily life. Though it may seem like an effective response for the sake of self-preservation, it’s actually a perversion of the empathic ability because it sidesteps the compassion that normally accompanies the empathetic experience; it replaces honesty with unhealthy self-servitude. It’s a cop-out pain response that has a lot in common with sociopathy.

Luckily, it’s rare that an empathic person would actually want to manipulate others, because it’s dishonesty used for personal advancement. Strong empaths have an unshakable, unbreakable core of compassion that will carry them through their lives, even during those times when it feels like turning it all off would be a good solution. Empaths do not advocate exploitation of any sort, no matter how deep our own emotional wounds may be. We ourselves don’t want to be manipulated, so why would we want to manipulate others? It’s true that we have the ability to get into a person’s head, and it’s true that we can modify our vocal tone and microexpressions, and it’s true that we can use this ability to persuade others on subtle levels, but come on—that sort of behavior is almost always immoral and is not the behavior of a wise or empowered empath. When a person begins engaging in this type of behavior, their otherwise compassionate nature becomes shrouded in a cloak of dishonesty. Unless a highly empathic person feels severely threatened, they are not likely to engage in this behavior. Still, this uncommon response to empathic ability deserves to be mentioned because it does occur for some individuals.

Spiritual empaths strive to influence other people’s realities in a progressive manner, so it’s essential that we be mindful of our own emotional state at any given time. The more we work on ourselves, the more effective our spiritual service and our magick become. Even the smallest interactions carry emotional weight and can influence a person’s entire day. By choosing to insert humor and positivity into daily interactions, we are utilizing the projective aspect of empathy in a way that is both karmically and spiritually responsible.

Energetic awareness won’t solve all of an empath’s problems, but it sure makes the daily grind easier. It also connects us to the unseen planes in ways we wouldn’t experience if we just went with the flow of life. We have the inherent ability to conduct emotional energy through our body and mind, so why not use it for the greater good?

IN PRACTICE
Exploring Empathic Energy with a Partner

If you’d like to experiment with a consensual partner, you can explore projective empathy by energetically traveling into each other’s aura, chakras, physical body, or energy field. This sort of empathic surrender to another person requires an established relationship of trust, so it should be practiced with someone close to you who is also open to energetic exploration.

In a comfortable and quiet space, sit in a comfortable cross-legged position on the ground or in chairs that face each other. Close your eyes and perform deep breathing techniques. Meditate for a few minutes while you both enter a sacred frame of mind.

You and your partner should keep your eyes only slightly open for the duration of the exercise in order to allow your third eye to open with greater ease. First, stretch your hands toward each other with about a foot or two of space between you and your partner. Ensure that your arms are positioned in a manner that will not allow your elbows to become strained. Be sure you are comfortable, knowing that you can hold this position for at least a few minutes.

Repeat the lines of a common nursery rhyme that you and your partner have previously agreed upon and have rehearsed. You should rotate speaking these lines one at a time. For example, you might say, “Mary had a little lamb,” followed by your partner saying, “Its fleece was white as snow.” Depending on the length of the nursery rhyme, repeat it a few times while you observe the exchange of energy. Once giggles have subsided, observe the projective energy exiting your right hand and the right side of your body while you speak. When your partner speaks, observe their energy entering your left hand and the left side of your body.

After you’ve played with the rhymes, take turns being the silent projector or receiver to see how sensitive you are to your partner’s energy and how sensitive they are to yours. If you are the projector, silently focus your energy through your right hand. Imagine energy entering your head from the cosmos while you channel it in pulsating bursts into your partner’s left hand. Switch and allow them to do the same with you. This exchange of energy should form a lemniscate (an inifinity loop or figure eight) between you and your partner.

When you’ve finished, discuss the experience and think about how this sort of energetic exchange influences you on a daily basis—and how you influence it!

EMPATHIC CONTEMPLATION
Types of Empaths

Rose Rosetree’s resourceful book Empowered by Empathy: 25 Ways to Fly in Spirit was one of the first metaphysical books written specifically for empaths. In it, the author identifies various “types” of empaths, such as emotional empaths, medical empaths, intellectual empaths, physical empaths, crystal empaths, and so on. I have heard others use terms such as nature empaths, cosmic empaths, animal empaths, mental empaths, and a number of other mystical variations.

My take is this: there is only one type of empath. I believe that there are only emotional empaths; the very term empathy implies emotion by necessity. Because empathy is not a supernatural power (and neither are psychic skills), I don’t think we need to “supernaturalize” these abilities for the sake of convenience; I think this does a disservice to human empathy by marginalizing it into a power that only a handful of people have. But, just the same, because I’m an empath I can understand and even celebrate interpretations of empathic skills that are different from my own—diversity is beauty! I don’t feel that empathy needs to be subcategorized, though I most certainly understand that different people are sensitive, both psychically and empathically, to different, specific things such as the physical body, the cosmos, the mental plane, the animal realm, the plant realm, the mineral realm, the spirit realm, and so on.

I suspect that the empath “types” came about because different people harness their empathy in different ways. An empath who has great ecological concern will feel an overwhelming sense of empathy toward Mother Earth’s living vibrancy. Just the same, if a person has come to believe that humans are not emotionally safe to open up to, they may develop extreme empathy toward animals but will actively shut it off around other people. In this way, the original gift of empathy becomes compartmentalized through exclusivity. I would be more prone to use the term intuitive when referring to the empathic types; for example, I am an empath who is also intuitive with nature and with the animal realm. I feel that these strengths are extensions and expressions of empathy, not subtypes.

While I do believe that empathy and psychic powers and similar abilities are a mystical part of the human experience, they are very much natural and normal. Empathy is both physical and metaphysical. This is why I even struggle with the term empath in the first place; it is a normal part of the human experience. Just the same, calling oneself an empath (of any variety) can be a source of empowerment and emotional attunement. For me, it helped me understand myself and embrace my weirdness at a young, impressionable age. While I believe that strength can come from identity, titles are only labels; what’s actually important is the work we are doing and the person we are choosing to be on a daily basis.

CHAPTER MEDITATION
A Yesod Pathworking for Empathic Wisdom

Empaths have a natural connection to the moon. While the sun is the extroverted, life-giving star that graces the day, Luna softly observes the world at night, a mystical counterpart to the boisterous Sol. As the moon interacts with other planetary bodies, she influences the tides of the oceans and the tides of our internal landscape. She oversees the feminine mysteries through the cycle of menstruation and embodies a gentle yet powerful presence. With mythologies and spiritual legends greater than I can begin to explain, the moon is a cosmic embodiment of empathy and nurturing.

One of my favorite ways of accessing lunar energy, alongside Drawing Down the Moon with my coven and simply bathing in moonlight, is to reach Luna’s radiance through Qabalistic pathworking. Also called sphereworking, pathworking is a relatively recent term in esoteric Qabalah and refers to a meditational journey through the Tree of Life. Pathworking involves an alteration of consciousness to spiritually tap into the divine frequencies embodied in the sephira and their paths. Pathworking is mystical astral work generated by the magician’s intent, will, and focus.

For readers who may be unfamiliar with these concepts, never fear! The meditation I present here does not require a person to be deeply familiar with occult philosophy, but rather to have an open mind to the imagery and the experience. If you’d like to deepen your exploration into the esoteric aspects of Qabalah, please see the variety of books on the subject that I list in the bibliography—there is some amazing material out there, and we are lucky enough to live in a time when we have access to everything the world has to offer.

In short, the Qabalah (also spelled Kabbalah and Cabala) is a mystical system developed in Spain and northern France among Jewish communities, who had previously drawn on older Jewish mystical traditions such as Merkabah (“Chariot”) mysticism. Just as Sufism is the mystical side of Islam, Qabalah is the mystical side of Judaism. The Qabalah has seen numerous interpretations and variations through Christian, Hermetic, Gnostic, Pagan, and New Age schools of thought, and has become one of the most profoundly influential aspects of esotericism in the West.

Qabalistic Tree of Life

It is from Sepher Yetzirah (The Book of Formation) that we get the idea of the Qabalistic Tree of Life. This divine tree can be seen as a map of God. The text includes descriptions of the sephira, which are the spheres on the Tree of Life (and are also called the fruits, emanations, or lights), and also includes descriptions of the mystical paths that connect each sphere. The twenty-two letters of the Hebrew alphabet correspond to these paths. Classical planetary associations are aligned with each sephiroth (the singular form of sephira). There exists a seemingly endless number of correspondences to these sephira and paths, including mystical associations with Tarot cards, colors, scents, herbs, deities, stones, incenses, elements, materials, symbols, emotions, areas of the body, and much more. The esoteric approach to the Qabalah that we encounter in modern occult traditions was greatly influenced by the work of Eliphas Lévi and by the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, both in the nineteenth century.

Please perform this Qabalistic pathworking on the night of a full moon. Be sure to be freshly bathed and prepared for magickal work; perhaps you have special clothing, robes, or jewelry that help you connect with spiritual forces. Cast a magick circle of protection if it’s your habit, and make plans to spend the remainder of the evening relaxing and unwinding. If you’d like, vocally record this meditation in a gentle, slow voice with plenty of interludes between steps, and then play it back to yourself as you meditate.

1. Situate yourself in a comfortable position and light a purple or violet candle. Burn jasmine incense and get as relaxed as you possibly can. Ensure that you won’t be disturbed and will experience quietude and comfort throughout the meditation. Draw attention to your breath. Take deep and meaningful breaths to calm and center your energy. Close your eyes.

2. Visualize yourself surrounded in the color brown. This is the rich, deep color of the brown earth. You physically exist here, in Malkuth (Hebrew: , meaning “kingdom”), the bottommost sephiroth on the Tree of Life. As you inhale, use discernment to smell the rich earthen elements around you, even if you are indoors. Merge with the deep, rich energy of the element of earth by bringing awareness to your own physical body and by contemplating the ground on which we walk, the physical items we use on a daily basis, and the material plane that sustains our existence.

3. Slowly bring to mind the other elements. Visualize how air sustains life, and bring to mind how it rustles through forests, mountains, and deserts alike. Visualize fire as the warm energy that becomes recycled through photosynthesis, feeding life across the food chain. Visualize water as the womb of the earth, a giver of life, and the element that empowers you as an empath.

4. You are fully immersed in Malkuth. See yourself standing in a darkened room. You catch whiffs of sweet pine and patchouli drifting in the air. Take some time to visualize a black-and-white checkerboard floor pattern beneath you. You are standing on this floor, facing forward, with a tall black pillar to your right and a tall white pillar to your left. The blacks are made of onyx and the whites are made of marble. Focus on the contrasting colors of the pillars and the floor; perhaps they morph and alter themselves before your mind’s eye. You also feel the strong, nurturing energy of the Mother Goddess permeating everything in this realm.

5. To affirm your presence as a creature of earth, visualize your astral body speaking the divine name Adonai Melekh ten times (precise pronunciation is not important). Next, visualize yourself chanting the name of Malkuth’s angelic ruler, Sandalphon, ten times. Wait to see if you observe any visions or receive any messages. When finished, take an astral bow and proceed forward.

6. You are now walking down a beautiful indigo-colored hall. This is the “path of dreams,” the 32nd path on the Tree of Life, and is ruled by the Hebrew letter Tav ( ) and the Tarot card XXI: The World (also called the Universe in the Thoth deck). As you walk forward, the smell of sweet myrrh fills your senses, and you perceive the loving yet uncompromising presence of the planet Saturn.

7. You eventually come to a beautiful black lead gate that towers high above you; it feels strong yet versatile, heavy yet welcoming. You give the passcode Aima (Hebrew: , meaning “mother”) and the gates slowly open. You walk through.

8. You enter the realm of Yesod (Hebrew: , meaning “foundation”). The world before you is covered in glowing mist and subtle smoke. Purples, silvers, and grays of all shades surround you. You catch a whiff of the rich, floral smell of opium. Suddenly you begin to make out images through the fog; you’re not sure what they are, but kindly astral entities are coming and going around you, on all sides, going about their otherworldly business. The obscured moon above you is glowing through the foggy sky, and it seems that the moon is waning and waxing all at once. The daydreamy world around you continues to morph and fluctuate; nothing here is solid. This place feels like a gentle, hallucinatory lucid dream, and it’s clear that nothing is as it seems.

9. You see a figure moving out of the fog, slowly approaching you yet keeping a comfortable distance. Like the soft hue of the moon above, you can’t tell whether this figure is near you or far away. You perceive it as a beautiful, strong, naked young man. His body is smooth and silky, and his smile is warm and welcoming. He is clearly male yet appears androgynous. His figure appears to shift between masculine and feminine; you perceive that he is both male and female yet is simultaneously nongendered. His welcoming presence awaits your inquiry.

10. At this point, your astral communication should be entirely freeform. Spend as much time as you need telepathically communicating with this youthful entity. Because you are in the territory of the moon, this is the time to ask this figure about the mysteries of empathy. Humbly ask any questions that come to your mind, and use discernment to psychically perceive the responses you’re given, many of which will be symbolic, ephemeral, and cryptic. Why were you born an empath? How can these abilities serve you and those around you? What is the purpose of your emotional depth?

11. When you feel that successful communication has occurred, take an astral bow to this radiant, faerylike being, thanking him deeply for blessing you with his presence and insights. To affirm your presence in this realm of the moon, visualize your astral body speaking the divine name Shaddai El Chai nine times (precise pronunciation is not important). Next, visualize yourself chanting the name of the archangel Gabriel nine times.

12. Mentally communicate gratitude to the sphere of Yesod. Instead of continuing forward, slowly turn around and make your way back through the lead gates. Slowly walk down the violet hall and return to the checkerboard room. You see the black and white pillars facing you, with the black on the left and the white on the right. You slowly walk back through these pillars and transmit the energy of heartfelt gratitude. You declare that you’d like to return to your familiar body in your familiar time and space.

13. Slowly return to your body by wiggling your fingers and toes and by taking deep breaths. Dissolve any residual astral energies by sending them an energy of gratitude. Because the Tree of Life is interwoven with the individualistic creative unconscious, the insights and imagery received might seem simultaneously foreign and familiar. Know that you are safe and spiritually protected, even if some of your journey seemed enigmatic.

14. Spend the rest of the evening in a relaxed state of mind. Ensure that you log all of the visions and messages you receive in your journal or Book of Shadows. This is also a great time to work on creative projects, read a novel, or take a nice walk in nature.

[contents]

CHAPTER III

Balancing
the Self

“The English language tends to say, ‘I am lonely’ rather than ‘I feel lonely.’ The emotional state takes over our whole being. We are possessed by it, which makes the situation much more difficult to deal with than if we were companions to loneliness or in dialogue with it. Instead, we could say, ‘Today, I feel sadness.’ I am not sad; I feel sad. We can also realize that along with the sadness, there may also be quiet stillness and a purring cat on our lap or flowers outside the window, and perhaps we are enjoying a cup of tea.”

—T. Thorn Coyle, Kissing the Limitless

EMPATHIC ANECDOTE

Dangers of Muting the Ability

At times, the empathic experience can be so overwhelming that we want to turn it off altogether, forever, end of story. This is not an advisable goal; there is always a balance to be found, no matter what. Something that all emotionally sensitive people are prone to is the desire to mute the ability. For a short time, when things get overwhelming, a tempting response is to momentarily shut it all off. By doing away with mindfulness and by putting compassionate responses on the back burner, it can feel as though stress has been lifted momentarily. This may feel like an instinctual survival mechanism, but it is really more like an overcompensation for empathetic overload. Though this response might bring a sense of relief in the moment, the effects can be damaging in the long run. Processing our own stress gives us the option to not project it onto other people.

In a sense, we must strive to put other people and other issues before ourselves when counseling, when being a friend, when performing healing or magickal work, when listening to someone’s concerns, and so on. We must empathically step in the shoes of the other. Just the same, we must allow ourselves to be the first person we tend to emotionally. If we give, give, give and never allow ourselves the permission to receive (from others or from ourselves), we will forever find ourselves emotionally out of whack. When one’s own needs are met, the needs of others can follow. This is not a selfish view, but a point of wisdom. If we can ensure that our needs are met, we can more accurately meet the needs of others and be of real help. Practitioners of Reiki and other modalities are taught to heal the self, heal the family, and then heal the world. If we are in a state of constant empathic overload, we are more prone to mute our abilities for the sake of self-preservation.

When interacting with others, the empath must consider the other person’s general perspective. We can skillfully interact when we have an idea of their own mental and emotional processes. We must avoid the temptation to be impulsive or reactive by allowing our cognitive mind to form eloquent and heartfelt responses.

I recall one incident that touched on this life lesson. It was a chilly autumn night in Montana. A friend had visited me at my house for a few days, having taken a holiday from the other side of the country. We had a great time together during the trip, exchanging experience, knowledge, and joy. I greatly value this sacred friendship and am grateful for connections like this in my life.

While driving my friend back to a Washington airport, the freeway breeze was howling and some Europop was blaring on the speakers. At that time in my life I was a bit out of whack. A fairly unhealthy state of functioning had been created through extreme busyness, little sleep, not enough green vegetables, and probably too much alcohol throughout the week. The stress of life was on overdrive. (I am so thankful that my twenties are a thing of the past!)

Somehow my friend and I began discussing the topic of animal rights. Many readers who are familiar with my earlier books know that I’m an advocate for both human rights and animal rights. Personally, I am in support of ethical hunting and fishing practices, organic farming, and animal husbandry; I even help raise certain animals for food. On the flip side, there are a few things that I disagree with as strongly as the emotionless and profit-based industry of factory “farming.” In my opinion, few things embody the force of evil to the degree that the mass-meat industry does, and yet we find that otherwise ethical people consume inhumanely produced meat on a daily basis without giving a thought to the horrific suffering that is quite literally perpetuated through the common American diet. Mass torture has become normalized in the face of capitalism. As an empath, it’s unbearable for me to think about consuming an animal that experienced a life of torture and never saw sunlight or grass.

My friend’s view of factory farming is different from my own, though we share similar lifestyles otherwise. While I won’t recount the entire conversation, suffice it to say that I allowed myself to become almost irate at the prospect of someone disagreeing with my strong views on animal rights and animal welfare. At the time this was due to adamant vegetarianism, though I now choose to eat a “humane or local only” diet, where animals and humans have both been treated with respect, dignity, and compassion.

I was flying off the handle during this road trip, forcefully making my opinion known, citing all the rhetorical facts about industrial meat practices, recounting the statistics of ecological damage and animal abuse, and virtually demanding that my friend agree with this viewpoint. I described the tortures of industrially raised pigs, chickens, cows, and the like.

At the time, this argument left very little room for a difference in opinion, which was unfair of me. Similar occurrences happened in my life around this time, causing valuable friendships to suffer long-term damage. While some people are more apt to talk through any given issue or outburst, others may hold on to negative exchanges for much longer because they don’t want to risk the same thing happening again. People are cautious of one another for a reason, and it can be difficult to rebuild trust when a person’s emotional wellbeing has been compromised.

By not considering the effects of my words, I was disallowing present-moment awareness and empathic connection. This experience taught me that a forceful approach is not the best method of transmitting viewpoints. As a result, the lesson was learned: even if it’s difficult, counterintuitive, or downplaying of our personal values, we all must strive to peacefully comprehend conflicting opinions and convey our own in a tactful manner that the other person can respond well to.

While my opinions about the mass-meat industry have not changed to this day, my approach would be much different nowadays. If a conversation such as this happened at this point, my approach to conveying this information would be much more gentle and respectful. Instead of clicking the “mute” button on empathy, we can consciously choose to let love and respect be the first thing on our mind when interacting, regardless of how severe a disagreement may be. This allows the gates of communication to open, and for the other to learn from us, and for us to learn from them.

✴ ✴ ✴

Knowing Yourself

In order for an empath or emotionally sensitive person to accurately help others, they themselves must constantly find and re-find their balance. The world itself will feel askew if one is not grounded, self-aware, and in a place of peace. If a person is imbalanced, they are prone to viewing all of life’s experiences as dramatic, victimizing, or otherwise negative. They are prone to seeing empathy as a curse and may overcompensate for their fears through social isolation. This is counterproductive to spiritual wellness.

For people who identify as strong empaths, our abilities will be in place regardless of whether or not we’re feeling 100 percent. Aside from those instances where we experience burnout and instinctively mute our abilities for a temporary period, our senses are operating at full strength whether we like it or not. While it’s possible to exercise empathy when we’re not at our best, it isn’t advisable because our social filter will be askew. It is still possible to fully empathize with a person or situation if we’re feeling imbalanced, but the response with which we follow this empathy may not be truly helpful. If we are experiencing pent-up agitation as a result of sleep deprivation, for example, our ability to accurately assess and evaluate any given situation may be off. We may find ourselves fully agreeing with a friend’s or coworker’s pessimistic attitude simply because we can feel their strong emotions when they may instead actually benefit from encouragement toward forgiveness. (Even if we’re not at our best, we still need to make a conscious effort to craft some amount of emotional positivity.) Personal imbalance can impede our ability to step back from a situation and lend compassionate assistance. From an imbalanced state of being, how can we lend our healing to people or situations if we ourselves don’t have a strong footing? This chapter is designed to give readers ideas for finding their balance.

Bring It to the Mind

The mind helps us understand and process emotion. Empaths can easily become overwhelmed with emotional energy, both from ourselves and others. One of our biggest challenges is differentiating between our own emotions and those of other people. Sometimes this mental “stepping back” is enough to jolt us into an awareness of precisely where our own energy ends and another’s begins.

We must be increasingly aware of our own emotional state at all times in order to actually understand our abilities and interpret the emotions of others. Day to day, when we experience a strong emotion or are encountering someone else’s, we must immediately bring our awareness to our own emotional state in order to keep tabs on ourselves. By establishing emotional mindfulness firsthand, we can avoid the experience of overly absorbing other people’s energies. This also makes the empath more able to accurately listen to others, advise them, and give them the camaraderie they need. You don’t have to emotionally mirror a friend’s depression in order to help them through it; you can choose to take a step back and become that supportive, encouraging figure they need.

By constantly bringing cognitive awareness to the emotion or emotions we are experiencing moment by moment, we can more easily differentiate between our own emotions and those of other people. By identifying our inner state, rather than letting emotional experiences whirl us into confusion, we can choose to instantly look for the cause of any given emotion and then choose the best way to respond. This split-second daily analysis gives the empath an opportunity to take a step back from their emotional experience, allowing for a much more balanced series of responses to occur. This simple and honest practice not only helps prevent a whole slew of “empath problems” that we might experience on a regular basis but also helps us instantly discern our own emotion from one we may have absorbed.

Instantaneous, conscious mental cognition of our own emotional state can help “squeeze the sponge” of our energetic and emotional bodies. By putting a mental barrier between emotion and self, the emotion becomes less controlling and more controlled. This act of consciously using the mind to analyze emotions might sound difficult to do in daily situations, but once it becomes routine it becomes second nature. Practiced enough, it will become the normal course of interaction with others and can help instantly empower the empath by recognizing “mine” from “other.” This sort of mindfulness can help empaths perceive themselves and others with detailed accuracy, naturally opening the door to exploring their strengths as perceptive emotional healers.

Don’t overthink it. Keep in mind that too much emotional self-awareness can transform a feeling mind into a paranoid, obsessive mind. Overthinking emotions can serve to drive a person mad, which doesn’t aid much in creating empathic healing. If you find yourself constantly rereading and overanalyzing even the smallest occurrences or emotional shifts, you may be experiencing empathic overload. Practice breathing and grounding techniques to help avoid this occurrence. Find your balance!

By applying mindfulness to our everyday moments, we become aware of the emotions and feelings we’re experiencing in the present moment as they occur. This mindful self-awareness can be seen as the key to transformational success.

Stepping Back

Empathy is not a crippling weakness; it’s an immeasurable strength! All we have to do is learn how to work with our energies and with our minds, and everyone has a unique way of accomplishing this. A good technique for empaths to utilize is an emotional “stepping back,” especially if we’re feeling overwhelmed. Take a step back from overwhelming emotions when they arise, observing them as “other” to yourself: “I am not my emotions, I am not my body, I am not my thoughts: these are aspects of my constitution. I can feel these emotions without becoming attached to them.”

I highly recommend the book Emotional Alchemy: How the Mind Can Heal the Heart by Tara Bennett-Goleman. This work of wisdom, which blends Buddhist psychology with the psychotherapeutic approach, can help people who are coming to understand their emotional capacities. In the book, after the foreword written by the Dalai Lama, Bennett-Goleman begins exploring the Buddhist notion of sunyata (emptiness), which implies that nothing in reality is static or permanent. The concept of emptiness suggests that all of life is in a constant state of change, whether the physical body, the mental body, the emotional body or anything else in existence. This is similar to the Greek philosophical saying panta rhei; ouden menei (everything flows; nothing is stagnant), as well as spiritual understandings in several cultures across the globe. Proponents of the emptiness concept, like myself, assert that because everything is in a state of change, we can become hindered by identifying any emotion as “us”—in other words, “I am happy” or “I am depressed” is inaccurate and could better be stated as “I feel happy” or “I am experiencing depression.” If we take a step back from what we experience emotionally, it can help us cope with difficult feelings and with the unpredictable changes life puts in our path. This does not mean that we should detach and disengage; instead, we can more fully and accurately engage with the emotional realm if we are utilizing self-awareness and discretion.

Cognitively analyzing our own emotional state can allow us to make a conscious effort to choose a wise response instead of being immediately reactive, whether that reaction is an empathic response or a contrary response. We can also more easily interact with ourselves and our own thoughts if we choose to view our emotions as something we experience rather than something that is beyond our ability to control. By knowing our own emotions, we can experience and analyze the feelings of others and can more easily define, and even defend, our personal emotions. By stepping back and seeing our emotions as something distinct from us—as one aspect of our holistic constitution—we reclaim our power over them and create a platform for creativity, joy, and expanded consciousness to occur.

People who are especially empathetic should be very mindful of everything allowed into their personal sphere. Everything we consume, experience, and interact with affects us on some level, whether emotionally or energetically.

Consider Your Conditioning

We are very much products of our past. Society, family, friends, and social norms condition us on a deeply unconscious level. This is the way of society; it’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it can be in certain situations. We should consider ourselves lucky if we’ve been raised in a family or society that emphasizes compassion and humility. If we’ve grown up in a family or society that practices hate and violence as everyday norms, we can choose to recognize that and actively “unlearn” that conditioning. We can unravel and remake our minds through meditation, counseling, therapy, and the limitless path of self-improvement. We get to choose what kind of person we become and which aspects of our conditioning we embrace and perpetuate and which we choose to leave behind.

Because empaths can easily absorb familial behavior and social opinions, we must work to separate our own views and issues from those of others. When it comes to family, we must work to break any chains of negative conditioning that may be present. Children instinctively absorb parental patterns and modes of behavior, but when you’re older, you have the ability to separate your energy from theirs. Don’t hold on to your family’s issues, anxieties, or prejudices; they are not your own. The religion, politics, customs, and practices that you grew up with are not necessarily your own either: you must discover for yourself where you belong and what to carry with you and what to leave behind.

It’s endlessly beneficial to practice regular meditation, journaling, and even therapy to recognize and identify the origin of certain fears and negative behaviors. It’s okay if you can’t clearly locate the origin of your fears or anxieties; some imprints may have begun early in life, even in the womb. Some imprints are undoubtedly carryovers of past-life experiences, many of which have a tendency to mirror or repeat in this lifetime. Even if we don’t have the capability of diving into the intricate details of our past lives—or even the details of this lifetime’s past—we can choose to see ourselves for who we are and how we are, and realize that our conditioning doesn’t have to shape our every experience. We can change our negative tendencies even without knowing their origins. It’s empowering to remember that we choose our own responses in life despite the traumas and imprints of the past.

Affirmative, Captain

Regardless of your spiritual viewpoints, it’s a good idea to create your own positive affirmations. These are phrases of empowerment that are repeated throughout the day and that have the power to come into manifestation. Training the brain trains the spirit. While some aspects of reality are out of our hands, the manner in which we respond to life has an immense impact on our health, happiness, and ability to manifest positive changes in our experience. Affirmations work on a psychospiritual level.

Louise Hay, the founder of Hay House Books, is often recognized as a pioneer in raising awareness of the power of affirmations and focused positive thinking. For more information on affirmations, check out her book You Can Heal Your Life or the excellent DVD of the same title. Even something as simple as mentally or vocally repeating “life is good” can go a long way in changing one’s mood throughout the day. Short, effective affirmations include “I can do this,” “These emotions are not all mine,” “I am safe here and now,” and so on. Some people prefer longer affirmations, such as “My boundaries are defined, my needs are met, and my outlook is optimistic,” or even longer verses, such as “Today is an opportunity to deeply connect with my environment and those around me. My balance is maintained in all aspects of life; my guides and ancestors are with me now and forever.”

As if the body were a physical reflection of the mind, a fearful thought can cause heart palpitations and sweating, envisioning something pleasant can inspire peaceful equanimity, thinking about or viewing something arousing can swell the genitals, and so on. The body follows the mind, and our experience of life is greatly a product of our outlook. It’s important to understand the importance of both positive thinking and good physical health, as the two go hand in hand. Positive visualization and healthy food, sleep, exercise, and social interactions are means to maintain a healthy mind and body.

Along similar lines, my first Priestess, Zanoni Silverknife (the living head of the Georgian tradition of Wicca), once taught me, “If you’re feeding your mind gloomy and horrific things through books and movies, that’s what you’re feeding your spirit. The same goes for food: a healthy body is a healthy spirit. If you don’t take care of the body and mind, the spirit suffers because all things work together! You have to look after everything about you; it’s a balance. Like the First Degree symbol in the Craft, the inverted triangle draws the mind and spirit (the upward points) into the body!”

Express Yourself

Art of any type can be a potent expression of empathy. Emotionally driven art takes numerous forms, spanning every imaginable medium. Art is expressed everywhere, from sculpting to music, from cooking to performing, from designing to crafting, from writing to architecture. The list is endless. Art has no boundaries. Emotional individuals tend to be natural artists because we have a large amount of energy that must be conducted through us in some manner. Art is often fueled by emotion, which is why works of art can contain such powerful personal, social, political, spiritual, and emotional energy. While there is a whole history and practice of fine art, personal art does not have to meet the standards of art critics or historians. When it comes to using art as a psychological tool or as a spiritual medium, competition is not involved; the pieces don’t have to be “fine art,” but they should be free-flowing and uninhibited. The artist does not need to have an in-depth knowledge of art history, criticism, or modern art culture.

Expressing oneself in one form or another is essential to people who have high emotional capacities and experiences. Creative people have a great deal of energy surging through them at any given time. Regardless of who views or listens to the art, the point is that it should be created even if it’s unconventional and even if it’s not meant for an audience.

Taking time to create art can be incredibly beneficial. When art is created, the artist reaches into their conscious and unconscious mind, conducting those feelings into a manifest form. Art of any type not only helps the artist therapeutically release pent-up emotions and creative energy but also influences those who “consume” the art, whether they see it, listen to it, feel it, taste it, read it, or otherwise experience it. Art is a deeply transformational magickal tool.

Empaths naturally absorb energies around them, so the process of creating art can be a helpful way to flip the switch from internalizing to externalizing. This, in turn, can lead to deep personal healing (provided that we are careful not to absorb the art of others and present it falsely as our own). Many artists use their expression as a therapeutic tool to channel mental and emotional energies into tangible forms, whether visual, audial, or tactile. Your unique perspective is validated emotionally when expressed with creativity.

In the psychotherapeutic approach to art therapy, the therapist helps their creative client analyze their own pieces of art, searching for deeper meanings. Art therapy is a brilliant method of expression and unconscious communication—even spiritual channeling—that has proven to be effective for individuals of all ages. It is especially effective for people suffering from emotional, physical, or psychological challenges or conditions. People who have experienced traumas and occurrences of high stress can also discover increased peace, healing, and personal insight through art therapy, both in professional and independent settings. Social empathy also gives us feelings of acceptance and group belonging, so it’s worth considering sharing your beautiful art with the world.

IN PRACTICE
Mudras for Increasing Energy

Emotionally sensitive individuals can get drained very quickly. When we find ourselves in stressful or fast-paced situations, we are at risk of our prana (energetic life force) becoming compromised or drained. This is especially true if we are feeling imbalanced due to repetitive negative thinking or if we aren’t being mindful of our diet or sleep cycle.

Mudras can be described as gestures or ritualistic “seals” created by placing the hands and fingers (and in some cases the tongue, eyes, and entire body) in certain positions in order to invoke specific energies into the practitioner. Mudras have their root in ancient Vedic practice, including Ayurvedic medicine, classical Indian dance (such as bharata natyam), and primeval Hindu rituals. Mudras can clearly be seen in iconography from India and beyond, having become incorporated into many schools of Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, Jainism, and a variety of Tantric spiritual paths. Symbolic hand gestures can even be seen in early Christian and Abrahamic iconography.

Many Westerners are familiar with the use of mudras in yoga and meditation. By implementing certain positions of the hands and body, practitioners align themselves to certain frequencies. Much like reenacting an ancient magickal ceremony, the performance of a mudra connects the practitioner to a timeless current of mystical energy, instantly linking the practitioner to every other person who has performed the mudra throughout human history.

If my descriptions here are confusing, feel free to do a Google image search for the mudras by name. It is important to perform mudras with the utmost precision and focus.

To begin your energetic recharge, sit in a comfortable chair, close your eyes, and place your hands in the anjali mudra, also called prayer position or namaste hands (see the illustration of the anjali mudra later in this chapter). Take a series of deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. Concentrate on your breath, and when you’re ready, ask your guides and guardians to supply you with the energy you need to get through the day.

Prana Mudra

Continue to take deep breaths and keep your eyes mostly closed throughout the exercise. To form the prana mudra (“gesture of life force”), begin by making peace signs with both hands. Instead of clasping the ring finger and pinky with the thumb, allow the thumb to sit gently at the bottom of these fingers. Finally, bring the pointer finger and middle finger together, next to each other, rather than keeping the two fingers stretched separately. This mudra is said to help energize the body and raise a person’s energy from the lower part of the body to the upper, thereby increasing concentration and levels of energy. Hold this position and visualize a flow of energy rising up your body, invigorating your mental awareness.

Rudra Mudra

Next, do the rudra mudra (“Lord Shiva’s gesture”) with both hands by gently touching the tip of the thumb to the tip of the pointer finger and the tip of the ring finger. These fingers now come together in a triangular shape. Keep your middle finger and pinky outstretched. This mudra is believed to activate energy and fight fatigue. Take deep breaths while you envision your personal energy expanding and contracting with each breath. As you exhale, your aura of energy increases in size. As you inhale, your aura contracts.

Prithvi Mudra

When you’re ready, perform the prithvi mudra (“earth element gesture”) with both hands by simply touching the thumb to the ring finger, keeping the other three fingers outstretched and keeping the pointer finger and middle finger together. This is the perfect mudra for grounding because in Ayurvedic healing it is believed to help increase the earth element in the body (prithvi) and calm one’s inner fire energy (agni). This gesture increases grounding and decreases anxiety. Take deep breaths and visualize the energy of your legs and bottommost chakras grounding into the earth, linking with the energy of the Great Mother below.

Anjali Mudra

Conclude by once again performing the anjali mudra and taking deep breaths. Imagine your uppermost energy radiating outward like a halo of light, keeping you focused and sustained. Slowly open your eyes and see yourself glowing with invigorating light.

Finish by saying out loud, “That which is below is as that which is above. Atman is within and Brahman is without. I am grounded and I am energized. Namaste!”

Smile and send prayers of gratitude to the helpful spirits and entities around you.

Meeting Your Own Needs

It’s so easy for empaths to neglect our own needs because we are constantly worried about other people’s needs. A balanced empath will strive to strike a balance between their own needs and those of others. Healers themselves must be healed before they can help others—yes, indeed, this is a point I will continue to reiterate! This doesn’t mean that we should have all of our problems under control—we wouldn’t be here in this earthly experience if we didn’t have challenges to navigate—but that we must exercise extreme self-awareness while we simultaneously encourage others toward the same. We must keep ourselves in check.

Because we live and function through our emotional bodies, we have the responsibility to keep in check not only our emotions but also our physical frames. For those of us who live in our emotions or our minds—those of us who are naturally inclined toward empathetic and psychic experiences—we must come back to ground through bodily awareness and respect. In this section, we will discuss self-care techniques that can aid us in becoming better healers, mystics, and empaths.

As you well know, anxiety is the brother of empathy. This connection is unavoidable. Empaths experience the vulnerability of social anxiety and depression more than the average person does because our receptors are wide open whether we like it or not! We are observers, we are deep thinkers, and we have an uncanny intuition that guides us through life’s ups and downs. Alongside this comes a natural inclination toward anxiety and depression. But we can’t give in to the allure of ennui, isolation, and perpetual solitude, as tempting as it may be. It was the Roman Stoic philosopher Seneca who once said, “For sometimes it is an act of bravery even to live.” 16

A 2011 study published by the National Institutes of Health discovered that individuals with social phobia (social anxiety disorder) demonstrated higher than average levels of empathy.17 Using a computerized study to determine each participant’s cognitive (mental) versus affective (empathetic) capacities, the experiment found that those participants who functioned with high levels of social anxiety demonstrated a much higher frequency of social cognizance and empathetic capacity toward others’ emotional states than did those participants who experienced little to no social anxiety in their daily lives. So there you have it—we can’t beat ourselves up over our anxieties and depressions; these are natural byproducts of, or contributors to, the empathic experience. We can, however, navigate these experiences so they don’t become permanent characteristics. To begin, we need to accurately and honestly meet our own needs.

Love Yourself, Baby

Life can throw us a lot of curveballs. As we journey on a path of self-improvement, we find ourselves atoning for our mistakes, misunderstandings, and negative behaviors. Genuine humility helps the spiritual seeker gather insight into their unique spirit and individual experience. This humility requires self-forgiveness. By recognizing our mistakes and shortcomings, we can approach self-improvement from a place of peace instead of regret. The past is gone; let it go. The way we view ourselves in the present moment is of the utmost importance. By seeing ourselves as spiritual beings who have encountered challenges and life lessons, our personal evolution can be ensured while we glide swiftly into future terrain.

It is important to learn to recognize when you need healing and attention. Every healer needs healing from time to time so that they can maintain balance and a good energetic exchange with others. Become aware of when you could benefit from a healing session of some type or a divinatory reading or when you just need a bit of space from others. Tend to your own needs by first realizing that you deserve to be healthy, happy, and wise. Empaths must seek to cultivate positive, self-accepting views as much as we possibly can. It’s possible to love oneself while simultaneously knowing that there’s room for improvement. Don’t let criticism or regret stifle your growth. Don’t let social standards dictate your life. Don’t give up. Love yourself for the amazing, sensitive soul you are. Accept the lessons you have experienced. Know that right now is the ideal time to cultivate empathy toward yourself.

You don’t just have to compliment and praise everyone else; it’s okay to take compliments and be proud of your own accomplishments. You can talk about yourself and your life with others without it feeling like a competition. Confidence is not necessarily arrogance! As long as you’re not hurting anyone, why rely on the approval of others for the sake of your own functioning? You know you’re a good and beautiful person, right? You are! Love yourself and realize that your life is constantly changing; the direction it takes is up to you. Let’s give this whole “life” thing the best we’ve got. Let’s show it a thing or two by claiming our power and spreading loving-kindness. Let’s allow that love to radiate from the deepest caverns of our heart-caves and rush out to affect our every choice, decision, and interaction.

While it’s noble to think that we can be all love and light all the time, shit happens. There will always be another stressor or challenge; it’s just a matter of how we consciously choose to respond to it. By sitting with a true, heartfelt love for who we are, we can more easily interact with life’s challenges and encourage others to do the same. We can genuinely respect others if we respect ourselves. It’s detrimental to maintain a low self-image. We must consciously shake ourselves out of that state of mind when we find ourselves entering it. Focusing on negativity and stress can create and perpetuate physical disease and weaken the immune system. If a person is regularly stressed, the cells in the autonomic nervous system go into hyperactive mode, which in turn easily affects muscle tension and blood flow, thus increasing anxiety and nervousness and opening the door to physical imbalances, including migraines, breathing problems, and bowel issues.

If you find yourself feeling drained and stressed on a regular basis, find the cause and make constructive changes. If you are regularly unhappy and feel as though there is a roadblock in your life’s path, allow yourself the time to discover the cause and make positive changes for the greater good of all involved. By improving your wellbeing, you improve the wellbeing of those around you. We must love ourselves, heal ourselves, and listen to our own bodies and minds. Loving ourselves despite society’s harsh judgments is a mark of rebellious wisdom!

Daily Releasing and Elemental Cleansing

Because we are natural conductors of emotional energy, we must form some type of routine or daily practice to “dump” or otherwise release excess vibes that may accumulate. If you are a public figure or are involved with the social sphere on a daily basis—even just online—you should direct excess energy out of your body on a daily basis, sometimes even multiple times throughout the day. If your own emotions tend to get the best of you, you must also actively conduct and channel that energy regularly. Daily energetic work is both spiritual and psychological, allowing our empathic skills to become a source of empowerment.

If at any time someone else’s emotion becomes overwhelming to your own emotional body, try going somewhere in private (outdoors is best) and touching the earth to ground your energy and your mind. Situate yourself in a crouching position and touch the ground quickly while making a noise vocally, as loud as you feasibly can in your environment. A simple “huuuuhhh!” can serve to energetically and psychologically ground an emotion out of your sphere and into the nurturing earth below. This process activates the element of earth.

Showering is another way to wash oneself of energetic buildup. By accessing the energy of water, which, in occult spirituality, is the elemental ruler of empathy, intuition, and compassion, we can literally send energetic buildup down the drain. Morning showering gives the empath an opportunity to fully connect to the present moment and become centered for the day’s endeavors. As part of my personal devotions at the temple I co-operate, I follow my morning shower with a routine of Hindu aarti or condensed puja to Ganesha, Shiva, and Parvati, and have also adopted a practice of morning yoga consisting of Surya Namaskar (Sun Salutations) and various other asanas (postures). Oh, and I drink a big ol’ mug of coffee afterward—fair trade organic, of course!

Smudging oneself with sage, cedar, palo santo, or any resin incense (all of which are tree-based) is also a good idea when practicing energetic release, because the combustion of these earth-based, organic materials instantly activates energies of calming, grounding, and centering. This process activates the elements of air and fire by means of smoke caused by combustion.

In all cases, using the elements to cleanse oneself of emotional buildup will not offend the elemental spirits; it’s merely a process of offering energy to the elements so that it may be released gently into the rhythm of nature. Energetic cleansing and releasing is more akin to recycling than trashing. While you perform a daily energetic release or cleansing, feel free to make the process as intricate or ritualistic as you’d prefer. Some empaths like to meditate first, others like to invoke guides, gods, and guardians, and still others like to make it a brief practice after work or just before bed.

I’ve known so many metaphysical folks who agree that some sort of daily routine would be emotionally beneficial, whether it’s five or ten minutes in the morning or evening, but then there’s no follow-through. Don’t just think about creating a daily practice. Don’t just give it some consideration and then forget about it. My advice: just do it! There’s no sense in letting such a great opportunity be squirreled away to the back of the mind; put a daily practice into motion and you’ll find yourself much more balanced and able to face the day. Whatever kind of practice is performed, you know your energy best and can find a method that works best for your own constitution.

Gimme a Break

For more years than I can count, I’ve been resistant to the constant urge from peers and elders to “just take a damn break sometimes.” I struggle with it even now! Like it or not, empaths need some personal space from time to time. Energetic exhaustion can be mistaken for a number of other ailments or health issues. While depression, anxiety, fatigue, and self-isolation are indeed often due to environmental, dietary, hereditary, and neurochemical health issues, it’s good to also consider simple energetic depletion or emotional overload as a potential cause of, or at least a factor in, an imbalanced state of being.

Most researchers cite a sensitive or amplified nervous system as a potential contributor to common empathic anxiety. It’s necessary to forgive yourself for being anxious or depressed or what have you; just accept the fact and work through it. Possibly the best way to work with these factors is to perform techniques of instant calm. When you’re overwhelmed, take a quick walk. Take a shower. Practice meditation and deep breathing for a few minutes. If you’re in public and can’t readily escape, walk calmly to the bathroom and calm down for a bit. Maybe take some Rescue Remedy (a Bach flower remedy tincture) or another subtle medicine.

If you’re overwhelmed with busyness and teetering on a nervous breakdown, do whatever it takes to schedule a day off. We must decompress on a regular basis because we are so emotionally sensitive. It’s okay to put a giant X on a day in your calendar and stick to it. Take the time to recharge and make yourself happy. Do things that are relaxing to you personally; embrace what you enjoy. During those times, do absolutely nothing except catch up with yourself: no obligations, no stress, no exceptions. We need ample time to assimilate and process emotional energy. Taking time to just chill or just be provides a great opportunity to process emotional energy and find grounding in the body. Having no scheduled events for a period of time can help the mind grow in creativity and contentment and can help an empath find their balance.

It can also be good to schedule time to not communicate with anyone for a whole day, aside from maybe one or two people if absolutely necessary. This strict daylong fast from communication should ideally include Internet, phone, and text communication but shouldn’t include animals (pets should be interacted with daily). Dedication, discipline, and diligence are keys to self-healing and grounding. And if you find yourself addicted to the Internet and other technological mediums, I strongly recommend “unplugging” for an extended period of time.

Be mindful of your personal energy by taking mini-breaks throughout the daily grind. This can be as simple as stepping outside for a minute or going into a bathroom or bedroom with the intention of quickly grounding, centering, calming down, and breathing.

Sleep Is the Brother of Health

Much of the world exists in a state of mental disconnect due to increasing work schedules and dwindling sleep schedules. Regardless of one’s culture, the demands of life can be dreadfully hard to keep up with. But there is always wiggle room. There are always small changes that can be made to get those recommended seven to nine hours of nightly sleep. Life is too short to spend in an exhausted, zombified state.

Aim to have restful, rejuvenating sleep, and find what you need to achieve this. Sleep helps us process and assimilate physical, mental, and emotional energy. We must strive to get restful, deep sleep even if we are prone to mental wandering. Psychic, empathic, magickal, and other spirited individuals are prone to overthinking, which can lead to insomnia. In addition to establishing a routine (such as going to bed and waking up at the same time every night as much as possible), you may wish to experiment with various sleeping supplements if necessary—the more natural, the better. Everyone responds differently to different sleep aids. You may try dimming the environment, playing relaxing music, having some white noise in the background (like a fan, air purifier, or humidifier), and so on. You may even need a new mattress, bed sheets, or blankets to ensure optimum comfort and relaxation. And don’t forget that a rejuvenating hour-long nap can do wonders! Find what works for you to find a balance between your sleeping life and your waking life.

Hydrotherapy

Like our emotions, water is mutable and flowing. Our bodies are on average about 60 percent water. When thinking about water and its variations, I often envision the Cups suit of the Tarot. Many Tarot decks depict different aspects of this element, which can appear as rushing, healthy rivers and waterfalls or as stagnant and poisoned lakes. The manner in which we conduct our own water—our emotional body—is up to us and us alone.

Of the four classical elements, which have been recognized across the globe since ancient times, water is the element most commonly associated with empathy, compassion, love, and the emotional realm. Emotionally sensitive individuals can benefit greatly from tapping into the energy of water on a regular basis.

Showers can be viewed as the ultimate cleansers. To think that heated water can pour from a spout inside our own home is a profound human advancement. Let us not take the shower for granted; it gives us a great opportunity for physical and spiritual cleansing. To add extra oomph to the experience of releasing energetically, try bringing some sea salt into the shower and rubbing it all over the body; this allows the mineral to grab excess energy while simultaneously exfoliating the skin. As an aside, I recommend against using any sort of chemical soap, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, or what have you. By purchasing or crafting all-natural body care products, we not only promote our own physical and energetic health but also support smaller companies who in turn support sustainable industries.

Baths are a relaxing and soulful way to unwind and cleanse and can be as simple or complex as you’d like. You may prefer quick ten-minute cleansings or three-hour-long excursions complete with music, books, candles, incense, and other props, or you may choose to make bathtime into a complete esoteric ritual.

The elements of fire and water can intersect in a number of healing practices. Saunas can be a great way to unwind, relax, and cleanse, especially at a gym or a public swimming pool. Hot yoga is another method, wherein the yoga room is cranked to a high temperature as practitioners go about their postures. Another intersection of these elements can be seen in the ancient and deeply sacred Native American sweat lodges. Personally, few experiences have purged my mind and cleansed my soul like sweat lodges. As a non-Native, I cannot claim inner wisdom nor regular access to traditional rites. You may wish to research local Native or Native-trained groups and see if they’re open to newcomers. When attending a sweat, be sure to follow the rules and customs of the ceremony, bring whatever offerings are appropriate (financial or otherwise), wear loose-fitting clothes, and ask any questions beforehand. Use good communication and make your desires known to the sweat leader should any discomfort arise. It is also customary and respectful to bring an offering of tobacco, sage, sweetgrass, and/or bear root (osha root) to the one leading the sweat.

Whatever your method, have fun while you tap into the deeply cleansing element of water. It’s an element that commands respect and reverence and is here to help us as needed.

Musical Bliss

Music, being a nonvisual form of art, can be especially healing for highly psychic, empathic, and sensitive souls. Music can help activate our empathy in constructive and healing ways. I am blessed to have many musically inclined friends—musicians, songwriters, DJs, and so forth—and I can’t imagine what life would be like without music. Whether freeform rhythm or intricate composition, and whether organic or electronic, music can be a deeply moving spiritual force. Music has served as an expression of human emotion for as long as our species has existed. Music bonds societies and cultures, encourages healing and creativity, and can serve as a catalyst for mystical experiences.

Empaths can easily merge their own emotions with the emotive art they are experiencing. Playing spiritually conducive music on a regular basis is particularly important because even prerecorded music has a notable effect on our energy. Before putting on some tunes, examine your mental state: would it be more energetically and spiritually beneficial to put on something more upbeat or something more soothing? Odds are that whatever music you choose will influence your energy pattern both in the moment and possibly throughout the whole day. To more acutely hone the magick of music, try expanding your horizons into a wide variety of genres, styles, and levels of music (i.e., popular and underground, natural and synthesized, local and global), and find what you prefer.

When feeling depressed, you could have on hand a playlist of music that shifts from tunes that are deeply depressive and somber, to tracks that are a bit more uplifting, and finally to compositions that are highly upbeat, inspirational, and uplifting; this is a sequence of mood alteration that can be used as a type of musical therapy. Other people respond better by playing only happy music when they are sad rather than going through this musical progression from sad to neutral to happy. Do whatever works best for you, but don’t dwell on the somber stuff, as beautiful as it may be.

Some people prefer to put on New Age or intentionally healing music for relaxation and energetic balance; what really matters is the personal effectiveness of the art you choose to engage with—take it at your own pace and hone your preferences. Music with intelligent, reassuring vocals can be therapeutic. Listening to nonvocal instrumental music can also ease an emotionally sensitive person; in this case, the mind can wander without being bound by spoken words, aiding in personal creativity and concentration. Listen to whatever moves you and explore new musical expressions that sing to your soul. For me, no one compares to Tori Amos; she has always been my empathic muse.

For the purpose of empathically relaxing and recharging, I personally recommend piano music, harp music, symphonic music, Native American or Japanese flute, Indian ragas, downtempo electronica, psychill, alpha waves, and the sounds of nature. Some people prefer listening to music sung in a foreign language or chanted so that the mind can follow the sound of a person’s voice without getting lost in the meanings of the words themselves. If you are fond of electronic dance culture, try finding an event, party, or festival where one of your favorite styles is being played. If you are a fan of live band music, discover what’s being offered in your area and which acts are coming to town. Then go dance, have fun, and get lost in the music.

Tips for Combating Anxiety and Depression

Some things that others seem to totally disregard may deeply affect empaths. We empaths are prone to suffer from anxiety and depression because we are intensely emotional individuals by nature.

As an empath, it’s only natural to feel set apart from the crowd, to have an overwhelming feeling of alienation as others seemingly go about their business unaffected by the abundance of energy all around them. At times it will feel like we’re not meant for this world because of our uniquely emotional disposition. But empathic souls help change the world bit by bit, piece by piece. We have a crazy number of challenges, but we also have great talents that need to shine. Anxiety and depression are deeply interconnected yet are deeply illusory much of the time.

Undoubtedly we all experience anxiety and depression from time to time. However, it is unhealthy to experience these states of being for long, extended periods. We are sensitive souls whose gifts are vital to the world’s emotional development, and we cannot allow ourselves to settle for living in a perpetual state of mental and emotional imbalance. We do not deserve to experience extended periods of suffering. Even if personal balance seems unreachable, there is always hope. Even during those times when we feel utterly exhausted with life’s challenges and with our emotional dispositions, there’s always something that we can do to create positive change. It is my hope that the following lists can provide ideas for empaths who regularly or occasionally suffer from these ailments.

Tips for Combating Anxiety

• First, analyze the situation. Is it actual anxiety or is it really a feeling of anticipation or excitement? If you’re free from actual harm, it’s most likely excitement—so attempt to change your view of the feeling you’re experiencing.

• If you smoke cigarettes, quit. Now. Seriously. I used Allen Carr’s Easyway method (see the bibliography) and everything in my life has improved since: anxiety, depression, insomnia, circulation, mood, focus, breathing, finances, social life, and so on.

• Exercise or practice yoga (if you’re having racing thoughts) or practice meditation (if you’re experiencing physical symptoms of anxiety, such as trembling, voice shifts, heart palpitations, sweating, or nausea).

• Practice deep diaphragm (belly) breathing rather than shallow lung breathing.

• Shift your focus to something else.

• Spend a bit of time alone to calm down and take deep breaths—perhaps meditate or lie horizontally for a few minutes.

• Take a homeopathic or low-impact medicine or tincture to combat anxious thoughts (such as Rescue Remedy) or try some herbal teas for this purpose.

• Try diffusing social anxiety in particular with gentle humor and lightheartedness whenever possible.

• Shift some focus onto the other people in conversations by asking questions and listening to opinions to avoid getting too wrapped up in nervous thoughts. Exercise genuineness. Successful interactions are a balanced conversational exchange between individuals—a two-way street!

• Identify and write down on a piece of paper all of your worries that you can think of, then safely burn the paper. Feel free to perform this activity often as part of a spell, meditation, or personal ceremony.

• Perform a grounding meditation or an “energetic grounding with tree roots” visualization if possible.

• Replace stimulants (coffee, tobacco, chemical energy drinks, etc.) with relaxants (chamomile, passionflower, etc.).

• Try using “I feel” statements to help keep yourself honest and emotionally aware if your boundaries feel weak.

• Utilize your five senses by bringing your awareness out of your mind and into your physical body, observing how we humans physically sense reality. This can ground you into the earth plane.

• Put your hands, a blanket, a pillow, or something else in front of your chest and belly to protect your solar plexus from absorbing external energies.

• Cultivate self-love and amusement in the moment, which will help to combat a fear of social disapproval.

• If a conversation is too overwhelming, change the topic to something funny or lighthearted if it’s appropriate, and remember that it’s okay to admit to others that you are working through social anxiety.

• Watch and listen to some ASMR, meditation, or relaxation videos on YouTube.

• Look up helpful articles online by searching for your specific anxiety symptoms. Helpful professional tips are abundant on the Net!

• Three words: lavender essential oil.

• If you suffer from high anxiety, I recommend reading the excellent book Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings by astrologer Rob Brezsny.

• Practice changing your body language when you’re in public: walk taller and with pride. When you’re alone, try waving your arms and making yourself big so your mannerisms communicate confidence to your mind; this also helps expand your sphere of energy.

• If alone, try masturbating (physical self-love) to refocus mental energy to your body—but be careful not to start masturbating compulsively or as a physical dependency and ideally without the use of pornography. At the point of orgasm, focus healing energies upward through your body instead of toward the mental stimulus.

• Do some safe and fun exercise, such as a cardiovascular workout, as exercise is a natural antidepressant.

• Make time for acupuncture, tai chi, qi gung, a trip to the hot springs, a bath, a massage, a manicure, or whatever it takes to healthfully and happily decompress.

• Allow your rational brain to remind you that you are probably in no physical danger and are safe from harm.

• If the anxiety is severe or ongoing, seek the help of an herbalist, doctor, medical physician, and/or alternative medicine practitioner.

Tips for Combating Depression

• Stretch your muscles and practice exercise or yoga to direct your focus out of your mind and into your body. You may also be interested in going to the gym or trying martial arts, a dance class, kickboxing, and so on.

• Examine your negative self-beliefs and consider whether or not they’re actually valid or grounded in objective reality.

• Take a relaxing shower or bath, and perhaps perform breathing exercises and positive visualizations while cleansing.

• Watch funny movies or shows.

• Engage in musical therapy and even sing and dance along to uplifting tunes!

• Plan to go see a live performance at a local theatre. You may even wish to get involved in a future performance.

• Don’t engage in comparing, contrasting, or competing; instead, set healthy and reasonable creative goals for yourself.

• Take a healthy break from social media, online communication, and even the Internet as a whole if you find yourself having any sort of dependency on the virtual world and its plethora of communicative shortcomings. Temporarily disconnecting from the virtual world can do wonders for the psyche.

• Make a list of all the things in life you are thankful for, and do this often.

• If the sun is shining, get yourself under its rays for a period of time; otherwise, consider getting full-spectrum bulbs to inspire mood elevation.

• Get busy: do work and activities that keep you alert and energized and create a feeling of completion within you.

• Serve other people: sign up for volunteer work, help a neighbor or a stranger, give your time and energy to worthy causes, or just perform a few random acts of kindness.

• Make inspiring future plans and lists.

• Write entries in your journal.

• Smudge, purify, meditate, and pray.

• Immediately when such thoughts arise, replace negative thoughts with optimism, replace judgments with blessings, and replace “grrr” with grrratitude.

• Talk to fellow empaths or caring friends and family, even if it’s just for mutual venting or a bitching session! Socialize in positive ways with good people who have earned your trust and who are also working on self-improvement and humble self-awareness.

• Regardless of the weather, walk barefoot in nature for a few minutes, touch a tree, talk to plants, breathe deeply, and reconnect with the Mother.

• Go pet, feed, walk, and snuggle cats and dogs at a local animal shelter. You may even adopt a pet or two with whom you feel a destined bond, if you have the means to do so and can put their needs first.

• Create art, create art, and then create some more art.

• Wear brightly colored clothes to inspire unconscious energetic elevation.

• Do elemental meditations to connect with nature.

• Take a contemplative walk in an old cemetery. (Note: don’t do this if reflecting on death exacerbates your depression.)

• Try watching inspirational documentaries, such as Baraka, You Can Heal Your Life, and Zeitgeist: Moving Forward, or inspirational feature films based on historical events, like Gandhi, Kundun, and 127 Hours.

• Watch some inspiring TED Talks online.

• Read inspirational self-help books that can aid you in the quest for healing and self-discovery.

• Watch and listen to some ASMR, meditation, or relaxation videos on YouTube.

• Try some fake smiling or laughter, which stimulates the pleasure centers in the brain—or better yet, keep practicing real smiling and real laughter!

• Remember that life is both a sacred journey and a game that, like any other game, has its obstacles.

• Know that your sadness will pass, as all things do, and that proactivity is key. Trust in the process of change.

• Remember that you are loved, even if it doesn’t feel like it. All we can do is try our best in life, work to heal ourselves, and strive to help others.

• If the depression is severe or ongoing, seek the help of an herbalist, doctor, medical physician, and/or alternative medicine practitioner. Personally, I have had great luck with therapists and counselors when I needed help the most.

• Timely intervention is critical! If you or someone you know feels suicidal or is on the verge of a serious breakdown, I wholeheartedly encourage you to call 911, check into a local mental health facility, and/or call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK.

IN PRACTICE
Empathizing with Contrasting Stimuli

A neat project to incorporate into an empathic journal or Book of Shadows is a documentation of how you react to different sensory experiences. By pushing our limits of comfort and preferences, we can extend our empathic capacities beyond our zone of familiarity.

This exercise makes use of the common sensory faculties. If you have full or partial blindness, deafness, anosmia, or another sense variation, simply modify the steps accordingly.

Divide a section of your journal into segments for each of your physical senses, dedicating one day to exploring each. Begin with hearing. Make a list of contrasting sounds, noises, and auditory stimuli that you can experience and document. Note how you react to ten minutes of meditation near a tranquil stream, followed by ten minutes of hanging out at a noisy construction site. Spend a while on YouTube rotating between relaxing music like piano and harsh music like death metal. Listen to sounds of kittens purring and then sounds of hardcore porn. Tune in to a right-wing radio program followed by a New Age healing podcast. Listen to a Catholic mass followed by a Gnostic mass. Get creative in experiencing as many contrasting sounds as you can. You may go as far as attending a symphony in the evening followed by a noisy sports club afterward. Take yourself out of your comfort zone and see if you can awaken your empathy for those who are involved in creating or experiencing those sounds. What happens if you focus long enough to put yourself in the shoes of the construction worker versus those of the pianist? The porn star versus the cozy kitty cats? What happens when you emotionally merge with these individuals for a moment, or when you merge your own energy with the abrasive sounds of a front loader versus the soft wind through the trees? Record your findings in your journal.

On a different day, continue the experiment using sight. See how different it feels to gaze into the wilderness for five minutes as opposed to looking in a restaurant’s outside trash bin. If you go on YouTube or flip channels on the TV, be sure you’ve muted the device (by turning down one sense, we naturally increase the others). Put in earplugs and walk around your house or property, carefully observing things you might otherwise pass by. Try not to touch but only to observe. Report these findings in your journal.

Continue the exercise with touch, taste, and smell, dedicating a whole day to each sense. Try touching, tasting, and smelling things that are in great contrast. You may touch a soft blanket for ten minutes and then wear some extremely tight, itchy clothing for ten minutes. You may eat some food you enjoy and then try some food that you can barely stomach. You may immerse yourself in the scent of floral incense followed by the smell of a bouquet of rotting veggies. However you choose to engage in these sensory experiences, document your reactions to each. You may find that your initial reaction to each sensation is different from how you feel after “sitting with” each sensation for a while.

How do you feel after spending time with the pleasurable and comforting sensations? Does a feeling of relaxation easily come over your mind and body? Do the pleasurable sensations remain enjoyable or do they become overwhelming after a while?

Do you feel as though you can “step into” the displeasing sounds, sights, tastes, textures, or aromas momentarily so they don’t feel so aversive? Are you able to sidestep your preferences and merge with the experiences? Do boundaries of discomfort arise or do you encounter a more universal fluidity in your approach to the disagreeable sensations?

By expanding our realms of sensory experience, we can more accurately empathize with our environment and the sensations that others experience. By softening our instinctive reactions to various things, whether favorable or aversive, we come to learn that dramatic responses to sensations are usually unnecessary. Exercises like these teach the empath to have more easygoing responses when encountering different types of people and social situations. Our dance of reality can become a bit more peaceful if we choose to adapt to the variety of experiences life has to offer.

EMPATHIC CONTEMPLATION
Cultivating Dietary Empathy for Your Pets

Empaths are animal lovers—period, end of story. We inherently empathize with pets and all types of animals, both great and small, predator and prey, fish and foul. Animals represent a certain purity … a connection to wild innocence … to the hidden realms of reality. Animals are incarnations of nature’s majesty, products of countless years of evolution. Unrestrained by human ego and vanity, animals give us a glimpse of our intrinsic primal nature.

For emotionally sensitive individuals, caring for pets is a great way to calm excessive emotional energy or a fast-thinking mind. Pets help us refine our empathy because they are capable of giving and receiving unconditional love. Cats are good pets for the empath because they provide steady and nonjudgmental companionship. They are also infant-sized, which psychologically triggers a “need to nurture” response in a typical human (and by gods, do they know it!). My two black cats mean the world to me; they provide more joy, affection, and emotional balancing than I could possibly express. For many people, dogs provide a similar companionship. Unlike the typical cat, dogs tend to be human-dependent. Dogs get more attached to people, while cats get more attached to places. Cats and dogs are human companions for a reason, and we must treat them with unconditional love.

Because we find ourselves so bonded with our animal allies, it’s important to take a step back and see if we truly are meeting their needs. Do they get enough fresh air? Exercise? Both dry and wet food? Purified water? Are their boundaries respected? I’m honestly not too particularly worried about how empaths treat their pets on a daily basis (aside from, perhaps, a bit of over-snuggling and extreme anthropomorphism), which is why it’s essential to examine what, exactly, we’re allowing them to put in their bodies.

Let the reader beware! Many pet food companies use terms like “natural,” “balanced,” “premium,” “gourmet,” or formulated by “science” on their products, yet they pack the food full of GMO corn, soy, wheat, cardboard, sawdust, artificial preservatives, additives, cheap synthetic “feed” items, and something called “meat meal,” which actually contains pulverized roadkill, euthanized cats and dogs, diseased farm animals, zoo animals, spoiled supermarket meat, and slaughterhouse waste, all ground up and molded into appetizing little kibbles. Standard, mass-marketed, commercial pet foods (as well as vegan pet foods) are often extremely damaging to feline and canine health, causing both long-term agony and vet bills. The negative environmental impacts are also numerous, considering the food’s ingredients.

Highly reputable and human-grade brands of cat and dog food, many of which are relatively inexpensive, can be quickly discovered by hopping online for a few minutes. If you find yourself in the grocery store and have a smartphone, you can quickly type in the name of a product to discover an independent website that tells you if it’s actually healthy for your pet or is merely being marketed as such. By avoiding the big name brands of any food product, we can invite better health into our lives and the lives of those we love. Please note that most of the giant corporate stores don’t generally carry the brands of pet food that are truly healthy—it’s better to shop locally, anyway! And while you’re at it, please, please, please make sure your pets are neutered and spayed to help control overpopulation and animal suffering—it’s better for animals and for the earth! Let’s choose to love and empathize with our pets, and indeed all animals, to the best of our abilities.

CHAPTER MEDITATION
Spiritual Realignment with Adam Kadmon

An 1888 Depiction of Adam Kadmon

Adam Kadmon (also spelled Qadmon or Cadmon) is a term meaning “Original Man” and is a Jewish mystical concept that was developed around the eleventh or twelfth century. In the ancient mystical system of Kabbalah (as well as the later Hermetic or esoteric Qabalah), this Primordial Adam is associated with the sephiroth Kether, the uppermost sphere on the Tree of Life. Seen as a diagram of creation, the Qabalistic Tree of Life represents all of reality in the form of a map (please see the image of the Tree of Life in chapter II). Adam Kadmon is also the name given to the “fifth world” in Qabalistic thought; this is not generally explored too deeply in Qabalistic literature because of the concept’s transcendent nature, leaving most esoteric texts to explore only the four common worlds: Atziluth (“emanation”), Beriah (“creation”), Yetzirah (“formation”), and Assiah (“action”).

The first Tarot card, 0: The Fool, finds its placement on the eleventh path, located between Kether and Chokmah, and is ruled by Aleph (a), the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet. This path on the Tree of Life represents the very first route that was taken by the formative energy of existence. This “lightning flash of creation,” also called the Flaming Sword, begins in Kether and manifests all spheres of existence, ending in Malkuth, the manifest plane. Mystically, the Fool can be viewed as an extension of the Original Man because of him bursting forth immediately from invisible existence—a metaphorical Big Bang.

In Jewish mystical systems, Adam Kadmon is viewed as a primordial being who is himself a collection of all the souls ever to exist in the world and is the original “image of God” created by Yahweh in Genesis 1:26, in whose image all humans are formed. Adam Kadmon is distinct from the biblical Adam who coupled with Eve (and/or Lilith, depending on the account) in the fall of man in the Garden of Eden. Some scholars also speculate that the “Ancient of Days” that appears in Daniel 7:13 is not referring to God but to Primordial Adam.

It should also be noted that, according to Midrash (Rabbinic commentaries on the Bible), Adam Kadmon is an androgyne—one who is neither male nor female because “his” essence cannot be limited as such. Many accounts see Adam Kadmon as the mediator between God and Creation, and as an anthropomorphized embodiment of the spark of consciousness on earth. Gnostics and other mystics have long held the belief that our own human souls or astral bodies are microcosmic reflections of the macrocosmic Adam Kadmon, and it is through our own energetic bodies that communication with the Divine occurs. (Adam Kadmon also represents the perfected human or ultra-human, much like Friedrich Nietzsche’s Übermensch, as humankind’s ultimate and ideal state of perfected wholeness.)

The concept of Adam Kadmon is especially pertinent to empaths because in many ways he represents the untainted, untouched soul of humanity that has yet to be affected by the evils and ills of society. By allowing a spark of his energy to descend the paths of creation, his influence in the world assures us that a part of him is always present in this often difficult experience of life on earth. This meditation invites empaths to reconnect momentarily to this archetypal being of purity and creation. While affirming to the Divine that we are up for the challenge of life on earth, we can also ask for a reconnection to the gentle and untouched side of our souls reflected in Adam Kadmon’s spiritual Oneness.

Adam Kadmon is the innocent and nonsexual child who is free of judgment and is emblematic of total purity. Everybody has an untainted, innocent piece of the soul within. This sacred spark becomes molded and shaped when it enters the world of ego and individualization. People who display strong and consistent qualities of empathy are often noted as having “childlike” qualities. I believe wholeheartedly that this innocent self rests within even the most vicious of individuals; it’s only a matter of reconnecting to it. For empaths, this innocent and genuine (and sometimes naïve) aspect of the personality tends to be more pronounced. Socially, this can be very attractive to others, all of whom come from a different place of perception and intention. A meditative ritual such as the one that follows can help an empath reconnect to their original innocent self: the deepest goodness of the soul that nothing in the world can ever touch.

1. Prepare by gathering the following tools: a red candle with a holder, an organic red apple, the Fool card from any Tarot deck, a red blanket or veil, and a red stone. (Note that ADM () in Hebrew means “red” and also refers to the earth.) If you are feeling brave, consider poking the middle finger of your left hand with a sterile lancet and applying a drop of your own blood to your brow; this can help secure your primordial energy pattern into your psychic vision.

2. Ensure that you have the house to yourself and will not be disturbed in any manner for at least an hour. Lie down on your bed; this is the place from which you build a bridge between waking life and the dreaming world on a nightly basis. Light the candle and dim any other lights in the room. Place the apple near the candle and the Fool card underneath the candleholder. Get comfortable and cover yourself with the red veil or blanket, placing the red stone over your heart. Envision a circle of protection surrounding you and your bed.

3. Take a series of deep breaths through the nose, allowing the day to fade away. Don’t think about what happened or what’s on your agenda for later; allow yourself to be present and still. Make any final adjustments and focus on your breathing. If any distracting thoughts come up, bring your focus back to the breath.

4. In your mind’s eye, see the red candle burning in front of you. The flickering flame represents the Hebrew letter Yod (), the microcosmic divine flame present inside of everyone. In a sense, this is the light of Adam Kadmon.

5. Envision the candle flame slowly growing larger in size, consuming the candle itself. See the single flame gently and peacefully flickering despite its overgrown size.

6. Witness the flame take a featureless human shape. At this point, begin to slowly whisper “Adam Kadmon,” repeating the name for as long as you wish.

7. When you feel ready, whisper the following (or something similar) to the figure before you: “I call upon you, Primordial Man, Adam Kadmon, to realign my energy as an empath. My deepest innocence is a spark of your purity. Please revive my deepest essence, outshining all conditioning and corruption.”

8. When you feel as though you have communicated your intentions and they have been heard, take some time to share space with the divine figure before you. Sense its purity and goodness, its ability to bring an empath back to their emotional and spiritual center.

9. When you’re ready, whisper, “Please enter me and revive me; bring me back to myself!” Knowing that you are safe and protected, visualize the figure entering your physical body. Allow your body to respond however it sees fit. You may find your body seizing or physically reacting; simply allow this. Visualize Adam Kadmon fully merging with your physical body.

10. Finish by envisioning this sacred energy instantly radiating out from you, shining like no other light in the universe. See the essence instantly radiating from your every pore, shining in every direction and in every dimension simultaneously in one great flash of light. Understand that this is helping to cleanse your soul on various levels, penetrating time and space.

11. Take some deep breaths and slowly come back to your body. Express gratitude however you see fit, declaring love and thankfulness for the spark of divinity within you. Finally, remember that your soul has chosen to be human in this lifetime and to navigate the experiences it endures. Allow the candle to burn down, and eat the apple to ground your energy, choosing to remain in a peaceful and reflective state of mind for the remainder of the day.

[contents]

16. Seneca, Epistle LXXVIII (78), “On the Healing Power of the Mind,” in Moral Letters to Lucilius (Epistulae morales ad Lucilium), trans. Richard Mott Gummere, https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Moral_letters_to_Lucilius/Letter_78.

17. Y. Tibi-Elhanany and S. G. Shamay-Tsoory, “Social Cognition in Social Anxiety: First Evidence for Increased Empathic Abilities,” Israel Journal of Psychiatry and Related Sciences vol. 48, no. 2 (2011): 98–106, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22120444.

CHAPTER IV

Grounding,
Shielding &
Energy Management

“Feeling anger, it is easy to conclude that you are angry. The problem with this conclusion is that it can go beyond a mere descriptive statement. It can become a policy statement, or a basic plank in the platform of your sense of who you are. This, in turn, means that you come to see the moods as ‘all in your head,’ a function of your own nature, thus devaluing them. From an esoteric point of view, moods are the manifestation of energies, and can transcend the merely personal in the same way that the abstract structures of mathematics transcend the minds that perceive them.”

—John Michael Greer, Clare Vaughn, and Earl King Jr.,
Learning Ritual Magic

EMPATHIC ANECDOTE

Fantasy Magick:
Disillusionment and Discretion

When I was first drawn to mystical spirituality and magickal study, a desire arose in me to share these thoughts and experiences. First order of business: find a group of others who wanted the same. As is the case with most empaths, I was blessed with the ability to relate to a large number of people from a wide variety of backgrounds and lifestyles.

Synchronistically, the friend who had first introduced me to Witchcraft knew other folks who were also drawn to occult practices. Because one vibration attracts another, I was introduced to other individuals following magickal lifestyles, both through my friend’s connections and through others forged myself. After a while, certain individuals came together and formed a sort of social group consisting of various youngsters drawn to the magickal arts and a variety of subcultures. This group became my primary magickal social unit for a couple of years.

Looking back, it feels good to have shared experiences with this alternative group of individuals who influenced one another’s lives and perceptions on such a consistent basis. Though this group was not a coven and was not my only social group, we still spent plenty of time together, had lots of frivolous fun, and practiced group rituals on occasion.

In many ways, I was always the odd man out, not quite fitting in with this particular group. The “members,” for lack of a better term, were generally good people, but were just a little wrapped up in realms of fantasy. We had a lot of fun together and learned about actual metaphysics—and also, in my case, about empathic discernment.

Some of the magickal views professed by members of this group never sat quite right with me. It eventually became too much of a coincidence that I was consistently unable to perceive or understand certain experiences. Simple walks in the cemetery or car rides to shadowy places would turn into dramatic episodes where members of the group encountered ultrapowerful supernatural beings—and yet I couldn’t see them. Over time, it became apparent that many of the creatures and beings that they purported to have met came straight out of video games, roleplaying games, comic books, and vampire tales.

Some people in the group claimed to be physical shapeshifters: people who would partially or fully morph into animalistic creatures. I was never privy to these transformations, of course, but I heard grandiose stories about claws and fur appearing during full moons. One member would allegedly sprout small angelic feathers from hair follicles. (Curiously, when asked to examine one of these “plucked” feathers, it bore an uncanny resemblance to downy feathers found in pillows.) Stories were told about levitation, ancient occult lineages, superhuman abilities, and occult “powers” straight out of Hollywood movies and role-playing games. The world at large was “asleep” while this group was “awake.”

Eventually I began to draw boundaries and question the reality of these supernatural phenomena. This served to disrupt beliefs about my gullible or complacent nature. These inquiries and requests for proof—or even a bit of historical research to back up some of the claims—became reason enough to create a degree of social distance.

At that time in my life, I was also growing closer to other groups of magickal folks who were encouraging the use of discernment and discretion within this other group—a fact that led some members to believe that my very questioning of their perceptions and motives was the result of a persuasive curse placed on me and not any sort of free will of my own. Illusion begetting illusion.

As difficult as these lessons were, we did share some good times. It’s refreshing to have had these experiences earlier in life rather than later on. Even if we were all a bit misguided at that point in our lives, no one in the group was actually malicious. Everyone and everything is in a constant state of change. Former members of this group have changed and have grown in their own ways, and these incidents can remain experiences of young adulthood. In fact, it’s a joy to still be friends with a handful of folks who were part of that social group—many of whom learned lessons similar to my own as a result of being involved!

Laboring under the belief that everyone is equally honest and empathic can allow for a lack of boundaries to occur. Social discernment and discretion are vital components of emotional sensitivity. Because empaths have emotional receptors that are virtually wide open at all times, the very act of “stepping back and reconsidering” is one of the greatest assets in an empath’s life, regardless of who we are spending time with and what their motivations may be. Discernment and discretion are intricately linked to empathic, emotional, and social development. It’s up to us to utilize these most valuable tools in our daily lives!

✴ ✴ ✴

Grounding, Centering, and Shielding

Grounding, centering, and shielding are some of the most common terms used when discussing energy work and personal healing. When we feel off-kilter, our experience of reality also becomes imbalanced. Our world is what we make of it, to a large degree. Ensuring personal safety, both physically and metaphysically, is of the utmost importance as we confidently strive to be the most balanced empaths we can be.

Empaths can unconsciously attract external emotions, subtle energies, and even astral entities without even realizing or intending to do so; these are all reasons why we need to ground and center our personal energy on a constant basis throughout life. Psychics and emotional psychics can draw foreign entities and energies that ride their coattails for no other reason than because their unique astral light is prone to attracting them. In addition to keeping our houses, homes, or offices regularly smudged and energetically protected, we must extend that protection to our bodies—the houses of our consciousness—to ensure that our energy is our own! Simple techniques and visualizations can go a long way in protecting ourselves from baddies and keeping our energy secure.

Over the years, I have been dismayed to read a handful of New Age self-help material for empaths that recommend to simply “let go and let God” through life’s empathic challenges; to just envision the healing light of the universe entering oneself and others when life gets tough; to respond to difficult social situations by asking for divine guidance, and leave it at that. I think this approach is a cop-out. While I believe that those methods can be helpful, they’re not enough. We have the responsibility to take it further by exercising constant emotional mindfulness and energy maintenance. We’re fooling ourselves if we think that we can just give all of our problems to Spirit and hope for the best. We must choose to take the reins of our emotions and energies to function in healthy ways as empowered empaths in this world.

Energetic Grounding

We all have emotional energy stirring around us regularly because of everyday social situations. Humans are social creatures and are subject to society’s ins and outs, ups and downs. The origins of the emotions we experience are sometimes untraceable. For this reason, it’s imperative that we practice regular energetic shielding, grounding, and centering. We can also “empath” emotions from a distance, especially from friends and family members, and we can easily be susceptible to energies, thoughts, or magick that others are projecting toward us. Though an emotion that seems to come out of nowhere is sometimes merely physiological (due to fluctuations of chemicals in the body, such as serotonin), its source can also be an astrally transferred emotional state and frequently can come from individuals who don’t consciously intend for us to mirror them emotionally (take the parent-child bond, for instance, or siblings who are close). While people who are predominantly psychic can more easily pinpoint the origin of projection, empaths virtually live in their emotional bodies and are prone to mistaking such feelings as their own. Daily energy shielding, charms, prayers, spells, and self-protective visualizations can go a long way in guarding against subtle vibes transferred on the web of life, both in person and remotely.

By regularly tending to our energetic bodies, and by having others aid us in doing the same, we become clear and composed conduits for emotional energy. By making healthy choices in diet, work, sleep, friends, family, and environment, we continue to ensure that our energetic wellness is consistent.

There is no right or wrong way to ground your energy, center yourself, or construct energetic shields around yourself. We all have to discover our own unique methods to find our balance.

Because we are conduits of emotion, grounding can help us energetically wring ourselves out. When we are feeling overloaded or sleep deprived or are in a spacy state of consciousness, grounding is essential.

The term centering goes alongside grounding and is very similar. Its simple definition is to find your center of gravity, calm down, and chill out for a dang minute. As we ground and center our energy, we enter a state of calm that can assist us in our daily routine.

There are numerous methods for successfully releasing overwhelming accumulated emotional energy the empath may absorb from others. Still, the fact remains that oftentimes some of the residual energies need to be processed not only with active energy direction but also simply with time and a good night’s sleep!

To be grounded and centered is to be focused, content, and aware. Grounding and centering can be as simple or as complex as you wish it to be, and different situations call for different responses. The most common grounding technique is to sit on the earth and visualize tree roots growing from the body, extending deep down into the nourishing earth below. You can take this further by visualizing the roots entering the center of the earth and bringing back the light of the earth’s molten core. This visualization can be performed quickly or can be made into a full ritualistic procedure or lengthy meditation.

It can be beneficial to simply lie down on the ground and envision your astral body descending deep into the soil below. You can then visualize your astral body surrounded by the energy of the pure, deep, rich earth. Your astral body is then secured back into your physical frame with the earthen essence in tow.

Carrying densely energetic stones throughout the day may also assist you in grounding, especially hematite. Bringing out your inner hippie by wearing patchouli oil can greatly aid in grounding, as can other essential oils that smell of the deep, rich earth. (Please note that “fragrant” oils are toxic and are best avoided, while pure essential oils are natural and energetically beneficial. As with any oil or new product, be sure to first test a small amount of the oil on the skin to ensure there are no adverse reactions.)

It’s also beneficial to keep plants and herbs in your house or office, as these help bring the natural environment indoors so the daily disconnection doesn’t become too overwhelming. Don’t spend too much time indoors; get out there and experience the elements whenever possible!

Dr. Michael R. Smith exclusively counsels people who identify as empathic. He feels that a great part of his life’s work is to help others who are similarly sensitive and in need of guidance. His e-book The Complete Empath Toolkit is a compendium of Eastern-meets-Western and ancient-meets-modern techniques for sensitive individuals to gain physical and metaphysical wellness. In it he writes, “What you must learn, as an empath, is how to maneuver energy. You need to learn how to freely move with it and also how to say no to it and get it out of your system if it’s hurting you. You must learn how to push energy away to a place where it won’t hurt you or anyone else. The only way you can do that is by being grounded.”

One empathic witchy friend of mine grounds and centers her personal energy by offering a drop of blood to a tree. After sitting with the tree and channeling energy into its structure, she is able to dump excess energy and bind her DNA directly to nature.

Some people like to throw their energy into the cosmic midnight margarita mixer before grounding and centering. By scattering our energy, we can then reassemble and ground it accordingly. This can be achieved through spontaneous singing, random ecstatic dancing, spur-of-the-moment stretching, glossolalia (speaking random syllables), and vocal toning to “zip up” your energy. In the case of the latter, this can be achieved by intoning the highest pitch you can muster with your voice, then slowly lowering your vocal tone to the lowest note you can achieve. This can be anything from a loud hum to a prolonged vowel sound: “ooooooo,” “iiiiiiiii,” “eeeeeeee,” and so on. When a high note is intoned, it accesses higher energies. As the tone descends to a deeper pitch, it accesses lower vibrations. This technique can be said to zip up the chakras and is something I love to practice regularly when I’m driving—alone, with no one around, and with the windows rolled up.

Get creative when grounding and centering your energy—there is no wrong way to do it! Just do it. Act crazy and spontaneous if you must. Who cares? You know your energy and can create unique methods to come back to your body and mind when it’s needed most.

Energetic Shielding

When it comes to energetic shielding, it’s of the utmost importance to note that strong empaths cannot shield as effectively as other people. You heard that right: empaths face more difficulty in shielding, because even the slightest emotional experience has the potential to instantly burst that bubble of protective energy if the mind is not controlled. Energy, prayer, and magick are largely conducted through intention, both mentally and emotionally, and if an experience in life discombobulates the empath, the untamed mind can latch on to the experience and cause one’s prebuilt walls to come crashing down in an instant. Sometimes all it takes to derail a sensitive person’s good day and strong energy shields is one quick, little interaction with someone who is experiencing a negative state of mind—how exasperating!

Now, don’t get me wrong: I am not discouraging energetic shielding; I’m just saying that it’s different for us. Luckily, I have found that if shields come tumbling down in public, these shields can be quickly reconstructed because an imprint of the energy remains in the mind, in the aura, and on the etheric plane. As an analogy, if a candle flame is blown out, it can be easily relit with a lighter or match, even if that match is held an inch above the wick, whereas it takes a second or two for an unused candle to get fired up. If you’ve spent a whole hour building up an energetic shield, and a public situation instantly sabotages those walls, go somewhere on your own and visualize the shields quickly resurrecting: they will.

The most important thing to keep in mind when it comes to empathic shielding is that the stability of the shield depends on how we conduct ourselves throughout the day. If we don’t stay true to the energy of the shield—which is ideally in place to preserve personal energy and keep excessive or negative external energy at bay—we ourselves become the ones who compromise its solidity. If we don’t tame our minds and get our thoughts under control, those shields are meaningless. If a person casts a spell and prays for a new job, they can’t achieve their goal without actually submitting job applications. Just the same, if we construct energetic shields around ourselves and still obsess over little things, put ourselves in dangerous situations, or choose to associate with negative people, what’s the point?

Overwhelming energies might seem like a psychic attack to the empath. In reality, psychic attacks are exceedingly rare and are pretty easy to deal with. We must avoid paranoid thinking! I have witnessed a number of empaths and sensitive individuals push everyone away from their lives, believing them to be activating curses, casting the evil eye, or otherwise trying to hurt them. While black magick and psychic attacks are real things, these are not normal occurrences in daily life and should not be viewed that way. Additionally, if a person feels that another person is energetically sabotaging them, they can construct walls, envision mirror shields, and do whatever it takes to create protective energy. Afterward, they can step into the shoes of the alleged perpetrator to examine their actual intentions.

There are times when we must distance ourselves from other people, temporarily or permanently, but not every wrongdoing in life is cause for an extreme reaction. Keep in mind that not all emotions originate from an outside source. You are a deeply emotional person as much as you are an emotional sponge. Empaths feel their own emotions very deeply, to a highly pronounced and amplified degree, which must be taken into consideration when trying to differentiate one’s own feelings from others’. Sometimes other people are the source, yes, but oftentimes the source is us or it’s a combination of factors. Regardless of the source of any given influx of empathic energy, the important thing is what we are experiencing. We can’t obsess about the source; let’s deal with our energy in the present moment, keep mindful of our emotional states, and keep on keepin’ on.

The main point to consider is that our shields are largely constructed through our mental visualizations. We can envision shields around us before going in public, or we can construct them every morning. We may align our shield-building to astrologically pertinent times, or we may construct them only as needed. Everyone’s needs and methods are different.

Though the most common shield is visualized as white light, your shield doesn’t necessarily have to be created this way—but it could be! Other shields that can be visualized and maintained include mirror shields, mesh shields, elemental shields, egg-shaped semipermeable shields, crystalline shields, bubble shields, and shields created by expanding energy from one’s existing aura. Some people like to call forth guardian angels, spirit guides, totem/power animals, ancestors, or gods of a particular pantheon—find whatever works for you!

Have fun with shields by experimenting with different methods. You may choose to construct different shields for different situations. Your shields should be empowering for you personally. Energy follows intention and imagination, so get creative. There is no right or wrong way to create a shield.

IN PRACTICE
Geometric Protection Shields

As I mentioned earlier, we empaths cannot shield ourselves quite as easily as other people can. It takes a lot of effort to protect ourselves from excessive external energies. Self-protection is empathic survival; we must develop methods that help us find our balance and maintain our focus through life’s challenges.

The techniques that follow make use of geometric-shaped protective shields. While many different styles of energetic shields can be created only inches outside of one’s body, the shields suggested here are a bit larger in size. These shields can be ritualistically constructed and then reinforced very easily through daily visualization. It is advisable to work with only one or two of these “force fields” at any given time so that you don’t become overwhelmed with energy maintenance. The shields I suggest here should be constructed at approximately arm’s length around your body. These shields will take fifteen minutes or more to construct initially, and the practitioner should be seated on the floor to create the shields. When constructing these shields, get as creative and ritualistic as you’d like.

After the initial construction of any given shield, it should be reinforced by visualization on a daily basis. This can be achieved through morning meditation and consistent visualizations throughout your daily grind. When circumstances allow, it is also a good idea to call out to the spirits and forces that originally helped in the construction of the shield; for example, if you utilized the triple energy of the Neopagan Maiden, Mother, and Crone archetypes, you may wish to quietly call out to these forces as you perform daily visualizations to reinforce the field of energy.

A simple spherical shield is relatively easy to construct and maintain. Light a candle, sit comfortably, and enter a meditative state of mind. Slowly pull energy from the flame and visualize it creating a shield around your entire body. You may wish to make big motions with your arms in order to secure the energy around you. Use constant visualization to perceive the shield. Spheres represent the shape of the planets and the shape of the magician’s circle. Call upon the universal force of Oneness and Spirit to aid in the construction.

Alternatively, place one lit candle in front of you and one equidistant behind you, sit comfortably, and enter a meditative state of mind. Draw energy between the two flames to form a three-dimensional vesica piscis shape around your body. This yonic almond shape is an ancient mystical symbol and represents the energy of creation. Because this shape can be formed by the intersection of two circles, it is reasonable to call upon the energy of the sun and moon, the God and Goddess, the yin and yang, or any dualistic forces to help secure this shield. Ideally, the “points” of this symbol can be secured to your aura above your head and beneath your feet.

Another option for a shield is to create a pyramid around you. This pyramid can have a base of three points, four points, five points, or whatever number of points you feel connected to. You can also double up this procedure by creating one pyramid of energy above you and one beneath you; one will go from the ground up, linking you to the heavens, and the other will go from the ground down, acting as a stabilizing anchor. Because of this shield’s “as above, so below” nature, you may wish to call upon Mother Earth and Father Sky in addition to any other energy you resonate with. For example, a witchy empath may choose to invite the archetypes of Maiden, Mother, and Crone to be present on each side of a triangular pyramid shield; someone into ancient Egyptian mythology may choose Isis, Osiris, and Horus; someone into Hinduism may invite Shiva, Parvati, and Ganesha; and someone into Christian mysticism may call to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Vesica Piscis Shield

Similar work can be performed with a four-sided pyramid shield using the energy of four, linking the directions of east/air, south/fire, west/water, and north/earth. You can take these ideas a step further by creating your own shapes. You may invite a certain combination of energies, spirits, or deities to attend to each direction or surface area of your shield (be sure to work with them regularly and give them offerings).

You may invite the energy of six or eight by constructing a cubic shield around you; a cube has six sides and eight points. You may wish to construct three-dimensional pentagrams, hexagrams, septagrams, or any other symbol that can be rendered into a palpable shield. There are numerous options to explore with any shape you’re guided to create!

In addition to these geometric techniques, I suggest exploring a wide variety of intuitive grounding, shielding, centering, and self-protective practices, and I just as strongly suggest that you document these experiences in your journal or Book of Shadows. The methods you discover may feel profound (or lacking) in the moment, and it’s important to keep a record of those findings. It’s easy to forget details with the passage of time, which is why your perspectives should be noted as they occur.

Forming Personal Practice

The foundation for a balanced and progressive empathic experience has a lot to do with our personal day-to-day routine. It’s an unfortunate fact of life that a great number of people go through reality in a daze, in a stupor, in a state of unawareness or fear-based selfishness. In a culture where we’re taught that acquiring money is the ultimate goal in life and where we’re encouraged to silence our emotions for the sake of advancement, it’s no wonder that so many people live an emotionally detached and spiritually vacant existence. For many, a foundation of personal ethics is given only passing consideration or is considered only within religious or politically dogmatic constructs. No wonder the world can be an overwhelming experience for those who consider altruistic compassion to be an inherent part of the human experience.

As emotional revolutionaries, it’s our job to break free from damaging social conditioning by forming a personal relationship with those things we deem significant. If we love our family, we must treat them the best we can. If we care about our friends, we must work to establish positive communication with them. If we care about the earth, we must make earth-conscious choices. It’s our duty to be the best individuals we can be, have humility when we make mistakes, and try to inspire others to make progressive choices. Our daily routines and practices have huge, rippling impacts. The smallest choices can influence great change. Our actions and inactions set the bar for others.

It’s easy for me to suggest exercises, spells, and ritualistic procedures to readers, but what it really comes down to is that my suggestions—which are based on my own experiences—are just that: suggestions. Everyone must discover their own unique place in the world and embrace their individual talents and proclivities. I am happy to provide a framework and give some ideas, but you must discover which methods legitimately work for you personally. Empathic empowerment requires a heavy dose of self-reliance and self-confidence, and only we can instill that in our own consciousness.

Green Eggs and Ham

The following list includes suggestions for empaths and other energetically sensitive people for cultivating deeper empathy with the earth. Earth is our Mother. She sustains our very existence, and it’s our responsibility to give back to her and make conscious choices in our daily lives. It really is the least we can do!

“Going green” does not necessarily imply spending loads of money on hybrid cars, solar panels, and organic everything. Doing small, seemingly insignificant things throughout our daily lives can create an incredible amount of change. Leading by example, we can inspire those around us to see the value in living and consuming mindfully. If you make conscious choices yourself, you can inspire others to do the same. In most cases, making choices to conserve materials, energy, water, fossil fuel use, and so on actually saves you money—talk about a win-win situation!

For those earth-based spiritual readers, I’d like to quote my Priestess Estha McNevin who once told me that “permaculture made me aware of the Pagan need for self-sustainability. To adore the earth in ritual and song and then choose not to compost or recycle is to worship a dying Goddess, not one seeing a revival.”

It’s time for humankind to wake up, live love, and make conscious choices to the best of our abilities. This isn’t a fluffy or escapist outlook; it’s a critically serious level of responsibility that all magickal and spiritual individuals should strive toward. Our daily routines are of incredible significance. As we funnel our money and effort into sustainable, local industries and individuals, we literally reroute the energetic stream into those systems that actively practice earth-based living, rightfully taking away money from the pitiful “big guys” whose only concern is their own financial gain. Materials and produce also become less expensive as the sustainable producers gain more strength. Let’s ride the (r)evolutionary wave for a new and more conscious earth! Here are a few ways you can jump on that bandwagon:

• Recycle everything you possibly can, even if it means bringing it all down to the recycling center yourself.

• Reuse bottles, containers, and packaging to give materials a longer life.

• Buy organic or sustainable products. Let’s phase out the earth-killing and corrupt genetically modified (GMO) industry!

• Buy your produce, dairy, meat, and other food items locally at farmers’ markets and privately owned grocery stores and cooperatives (co-ops).

• Join a local community-supported agriculture (CSA) group, where members can procure a weekly or monthly box of fresh, seasonal, organic produce that comes directly from local farmers at a great price. Also try growing your own!

• Boycott any and all factory-farmed meat (including that served in restaurants) and research the horrors of the industry. Further, call or write to meat producers to make your ethical views known.

• If you eat meat, choose to support only local farmers, hunters, or fishers—or raise your own animals!

• If you get seafood in a restaurant or supermarket, keep an informative Seafood Watch pocket guide handy. This information is available for free at www.seafoodwatch.org, or you can utilize the free Seafood Watch app.

• Do away with shopping at certain chain stores, supercenters, and big box stores that have a reputation for being irresponsible or greedy entities—these are easily researchable online.

• Buy items secondhand, including at www.craigslist.org and www.freecycle.org, yard sales, and local secondhand stores.

• Donate unwanted or unused items to nonprofit organizations and local charitable groups.

• Use regular cups, plates, silverware, and napkin rags instead of the paper, plastic, or foam varieties. If disposables are needed, look for those made of compostable materials—they’re out there!

• Pick up and throw away litter whenever you see it.

• If you buy gemstones, check the source to see if they’re chemically or naturally mined and what the working conditions are like in the country of origin.

• If you buy oils, candles, or anything scented (including soaps and hygienic products), vow to purchase only those that contain pure essential oils rather than “fragrance,” simply because of the amount of toxic chemical waste byproducts that often constitute the latter.

• Instead of buying chemical or synthetic toiletries, try buying only all-natural products to put in or on your body—it’s better for your health and the earth.

• Use apple cider vinegar or Himalayan crystal salt for deodorant instead of chemical antiperspirants.

• Rarely or never buy single-use bottled water. These bottles are terrible for the environment (and should be illegal), and many varieties are nothing more than purified tap water anyway.

• Switch all of your light bulbs to energy-efficient compact fluorescent bulbs.

• Insulate your hot water heater and pipes to conserve heat and save money.

• If you have a standard toilet, put bricks or a stone-filled half-gallon jug in the tank (back) to help conserve water usage.

• Try to buy durable, all-natural items rather than cheap, imported plastic crap.

• Utilize your local environmental compost agency for any fallen or dead greenery on your property, including autumn leaves.

• Start a compost bucket for all of your food waste—you can even add worms!

• Consider raising chickens and other livestock, beekeeping, and sustainable small-scale farming.

• Use all-natural cleaning products for your house and home—they really do work! You may try using baking soda and vinegar as effective all-natural cleaners, as opposed to nasty chemical agents, or you may choose to exclusively purchase all-natural and eco-friendly brands.

• Use organic materials to build up the health of soil for gardening.

• Do away with chemical pesticides on your lawn or garden.

• Research and explore permaculture and organic gardening methods.

• Use all-natural soap and dishwashing liquid instead of toxic products.

• Bring your own reusable bags to the grocery store. If you forget your reusable bags at home, get paper or plastic bags and just recycle them.

• If you can’t pronounce ingredients on food you purchase, research the ingredient names and the company’s sustainability reputation.

• Try bicycling, walking, skateboarding, rollerblading, or some other non-motorized method instead of using a car.

• When using oil-based transportation, try carpooling or using public transport whenever possible.

• Buy items, including food, that have a low carbon footprint (i.e., that are not imported from God-knows-where).

• Plant trees, shrubs, and companion plants in and around your garden to help absorb carbon dioxide and provide housing for our feathered friends.

• Turn off lights and other electrical devices when not in use.

• To conserve water, take shorter showers or a bath instead, turn off the faucet when you brush your teeth, and if you use a dishwasher don’t run it unless it’s totally full.

• Positively influence your workplace or corporation to make more conscious, earth-based choices in their daily operations.

• Use only recycled paper products whenever possible.

• Research the reputation of different companies of all varieties and choose to support only the ones that are trying to make a difference and not just a profit.

• Volunteer at your local soup kitchen and get involved with Food Not Bombs or other activist networks.

• Contemplate joining a local, national, or international environmental “eco-activism” network and getting involved with protests and rallies and taking measures to influence political change. Many of the people in these networks also follow earth-based spiritual paths.

• Learn which issues are gaining momentum toward becoming balloted as official local initiatives for public voting. Perhaps you will feel inspired to join one or more of these noble efforts by helping spread the word and even by volunteering to gather signatures on official petitions. In the United States, these petitions can then become notarized and presented to a ballot initiative committee. Simply contact the movement’s organization to find out how to collect signatures as a volunteer.

• Support local environmental protection agencies, and maybe even participate in protests!

• Spend time volunteering, educating, or doing work-trade at a nearby ecovillage, commune, or intentional community.

• Write to your congresspersons and politicians and submit letters to the editors of both local and mass media enterprises—they really do listen and count your voice as “one of many.”

• Write quick postcards to influential businesses and individuals. Postcards can be viewed quickly and easily, and their powerful, impactful messages can be conveyed instantaneously.

• Eat what’s in season in your area.

• Buy fair trade and shade-grown coffee instead of mass-produced plantation coffee. Fair trade ensures good work conditions for laborers, and shade-grown coffee varieties encourage much-needed bird habitat.

• Support local and nearby breweries and wineries instead of buying only imported beverages.

• Contemplate how to live “off the grid” and find alternative energy resources.

• If you use tobacco and live in the United States, try buying American Spirit tobacco instead of something produced by one of “the giants” (also, never throw a cigarette butt out the window!), or choose to smoke a tobacco pipe or e-cig instead—or quit supporting the nicotine industries altogether.

• Discover the reality of peak oil and humanity’s dependency on fossil fuel. My suggestion is to read The Long Descent: A User’s Guide to the End of the Industrial Age written by our brilliant Archdruid comrade and occultist John Michael Greer.

• Contemplate your impact on the earth with every single purchase you make. Every … single … little … purchase—literally!

• If you live in a place or in circumstances where making some of these consumer choices is limited, just do the best you can by making a conscious effort to influence positive change with your purchases and actions based on the choices you have available. All we can do is try our best, however we are able.

• Educate people on these points as much as you can, even through simple methods such as social media and everyday conversation. Let’s help keep this earth spinning in a good direction.

IN PRACTICE
Ritual Grounding and Elemental Realignment

It’s easy to get lost in the thoughts that accompany overactive emotions. When emotions are high, the mind can easily slip into a flurry of overanalysis and panic. Sometimes we just need to take a break, reassess the situation, and approach our lives from a more grounded perspective. As already discussed, energetic grounding takes numerous forms and is different for everyone. One way to take it a step further is to make a ritual of it.

When excessive energy is funneled into the cognitive/thinking process, we energetically lose our footing through life’s twists and turns. When our energy becomes entirely directed inward, it can become unforgivingly maddening! For us empaths, absorbing emotional energy around us can pose the dizzying challenge of processing it accurately and successfully. We have to regularly assess and reassess our daily routines, magickal methods, and ways of thinking. By choosing to energetically regain our footing, we become more grounded in this world. By becoming mindful of those occasions when we need to spiritually reconnect, we can more steadily and accurately serve others with our empathic skills.

The five elements venerated in Western occult traditions have a special spot in the heart of every magician, Witch, and spiritual practitioner in the West. By realigning with these elements, we realign with our own deepest essence. If your intuition tells you that it’s time to spiritually reconnect, I advise you to perform this ritual. Please perform it in the daytime, ideally on a peaceful and sunny day. As with all suggestions in this book, feel free to modify the procedure, add to it, personalize it, and make it your own.

Begin by creating a sacred state of mind. In order to perform any sort of magickal or spiritual work, we should always first modify our consciousness to a somewhat altered state. Some people accomplish this through meditation, while others use chanting, ecstatic dance, breathing techniques, or a small amount of natural substances. Use this opportunity to connect with the “unseen” element of Spirit, also called akasha, quintessence, Brahman, God, Oneness, and a million other titles. Use your own methods of spiritual connection to align yourself with your higher being and the energy of the universe. Call upon your guides, gods, and guardians in a way that suits you best. Modify your consciousness and connect with Spirit in your own way, on your own terms, in your own time. Ensure that you feel fully spiritually connected before proceeding.

Immerse yourself in nature. Discover where the elements speak to you most strongly. Since we are aiming to ground ourselves and spiritually reconnect, begin with the element of earth. Find a spot where you can lie down and smell the essence of the earth beneath you. Dig a small hole with your hands and smell the rich soil. Perform any elemental chanting or exercises to personally connect with the element of earth. Conclude by using fingernail clippers to trim your nails and bury them in the small hole you’ve created. Take some time to visualize your energy binding to the earth element, and conclude by expressing gratitude.

Proceed by connecting to the element of air. Find a spot in nature where you can stand unobstructed and feel the dance of the breeze roll across your skin. Ensure that your nose is clear so you can experience the air’s subtle scents and fill your lungs with the pure essence of the air element. Tap into the alchemical experience of photosynthesis as you sense the local trees and plants producing an abundant amount of life-sustaining oxygen. Perform any elemental chanting or exercises to personally connect with the element of air. Conclude by pulling out a few strands of your hair and tying them to the branch of a tree, where they will be free to blow in the breeze and sustain an elemental connection. (If your hair is short, you can secure the hair to the bark by using clay or mud. If you are bald, you’ll have to pluck a bit of hair from “down under”—sorry!) Take some time to visualize your energy binding to the element of air, and conclude by expressing gratitude.

Next, discover an area in nature where you feel a connection to the element of fire. The most logical way to harness this element, aside from creating it yourself with a candle, is to bask in sunlight. Find a spot where you can experience the light of the sun on your face. Get comfortable, close your eyes, and allow the life-giving solar essence to fill your senses. Raise your hands to the sun and draw its energy into you. Contemplate the cycle of sunlight and how it creates life in unison with the other elements. Perform any elemental chanting or exercises to personally connect with the element of fire. Conclude by offering some of your sexual fluids to the element by placing the fluids in a spot that will allow the fiery sunlight to directly contact your own fiery fluids. (Yes, this will require masturbation, so you may choose to perform this part beforehand, at home.) Take some time to visualize your energy binding to the fire element, and conclude by expressing gratitude.

Finally, make your way to a body of water. This could be a flowing stream, a roaring river, a tranquil lake, a rushing waterfall, or anything else local to the area. Situate yourself comfortably near this water and breathe in the negative ions. These non-electrical molecules are serotonin boosters (natural antidepressants) produced in nature. Enjoy the refreshing energy influencing your body’s own chemistry. Listen to the sounds of the water and see if you can interpret any spiritual messages being transmitted. If you’ve brought water with you, now is the time to drink some and feel it sustaining you physically. Perform any elemental chanting or exercises to personally connect with the element of water. Conclude by using a sterile lancet or needle to draw a drop of blood from the ring finger of your right hand, then swirl your finger in the water and encourage the elemental connection. Take some time to visualize your energy binding to the water element, and conclude by expressing gratitude.

Afterward, make notes in your journal or Book of Shadows to document the experience. Make notes of any insights you may have received. Consider additional elemental activities you could incorporate the next time you feel called to elementally ground and reconnect in this manner.

Energetic Awareness

Empaths predominantly exist in and function from their emotional body. The self is not restricted to the physical body. Or the emotions. Or the mind. Or our instincts. These are all aspects of the same whole. If we neglect any part of ourselves, the whole system can fall out of whack. The physical body is our vessel, our temple. If we neglect our physical needs and our body’s signs, we are literally neglecting our health on all levels. Our body physically responds to our thoughts; we truly are a holistic, interconnected system. Let’s keep our temple in tip-top shape through constant energetic awareness—and remember, everything is energy!

The following relevant quote is reprinted from DailyOM, whose daily emailed newsletters provide “inspirational thoughts for a happy, healthy, and fulfilling day” and can be subscribed to at www.dailyom.com: “Many of the ailments we experience over the course of our lives can be indicative of the body’s attempts to process intellectual and emotional energy. Swollen glands, for example, can signal that you are going through a period of emotional cleansing. Even something as simple as a pimple can indicate that your body is ridding itself of toxins and old energy. In Chinese medicine, intense emotions are held in the body’s organs as a matter of course. Grief lurks in the lungs, anger inhabits the liver, fretfulness lingers in the heart, worry is held in the stomach, and the kidneys harbor fright. Particular illnesses and symptoms represent the body’s attempts to clear emotional energy. Coughs or bronchitis can signify that the physical self is clearing away grief while a loss of appetite may signal that worry is being actively addressed.” 18

Mind Your P’s and Q’s (Prana and Qi)

If we can keep tabs on our daily energy and its fluctuations, we can more easily manifest an activated empathic experience at its optimum functioning potential.

Throughout the day, where do you find your thoughts taking your focus? Where does your mind drift to when left to its own devices? Where is your energy being distributed throughout the day? Is it held with confidence within yourself as you journey the path of life, or are you perpetually worried about how others perceive you, in turn surrendering your energy to them?

Note how your personal energy gets dispersed and distributed throughout the day. How do you spend your time? Who do you interact with? How do you plan your day, and what changes can be made for improved health and wellness? How can you modify your daily routine so that the choices you make are beneficial and your own energetic functioning is improved?

In these modern times, we must be aware of how often we engage with televisions, video games, smartphones, tablets, the Internet, etc. These screen-based devices give the illusion of relaxation, but in reality they don’t fully get the job done. We must also be mindful of surrounding ourselves with media that we feel good about or are not adversely affected by. While it’s true that we should keep abreast of global news, as horrific as so much of it is, we can choose our mediums of entertainment with mindfulness. We should all be aware of our limits and preferences. For example, even if a gory art-house film has redeeming qualities, the empath might choose not to experience it because of its visceral nature.

It would be foolish of me not to mention something that numerous mystics, empaths, and sensitives have observed over time: some amount of melancholy seems to constantly be present in people like us. It is something we choose to feel and express rather than deny, repress, or martyrize ourselves over. We learn to appreciate it as part of our personality. If depression, sadness, and ennui were the sun, then melancholy would be the moon reflected on still water—something that’s not necessarily all-pervasive but is always there on the surface. Our energy is never fully present in this reality; there is a part of us that remains elsewhere—perhaps everywhere, all at once.

If you identify with this line of thinking, odds are you’re easily able to identify others who are similarly affected. While it may seem that some people are fully engaged and grounded in reality, those of us who sit with beloved melancholia realize that our minor disconnection from reality is both spiritual and resourceful. Some would say that all true artists function from a platform of melancholic subtlety, and that this mystical shadow is the springboard for artistic creativity. It certainly is for me. We also must be self-aware and discerning enough to know when to seek help from outside sources in order to heal ourselves and become more empowered empaths and magickal folk.

As sensitive individuals, we are prone to expressing our emotional sentiments more often than not. By choosing to communicate positively and remain as optimistic as possible, it sets the tone for our entire experience. We can cultivate gratitude instead of focusing on the negative, because focusing neurotically on problems will not solve them. Complaining and struggling will only create more difficulty.

Our thoughts are like plants in that we can actively choose to let the destructive, negative thoughts whither away. Even though these mental weeds need a bit of attention in order to uproot them and they may pop up when least expected, dwelling on them only cultivates more of them. Choosing to focus on progressive, loving, good-humored thoughts likewise helps the nutritious mental fruits and flowers become bountiful for our own life’s daily harvest.

Apathy as a Pain Response

What a dichotomy! Empathic exchanges require a great deal of compassion and a significant suspension of self-concern; however, when an empath feels weak, hurt, wronged, or wounded, their thoughts and actions can become judgmental, rude, bitter, harsh, inconsiderate, and overly defensive. Over time, the unconscious mind and its reactions may become molded to a behavioral pattern of unempathetic survivalism, inspiring feelings of coldness, distance, and general distrust. A person’s negative experiences can easily influence these types of long-lasting behavioral shifts, but empaths must strive to maintain a delicate balance between social warmth and self-protection, not drifting too far into the realm of emotional distance.

For the longest time, I thought it was just me who snapped into these momentary states of existential apathy, but as I talked with more self-identifying empaths, I discovered similar stories. For myself personally, as self-awareness increases with age, I find these painful paradoxes occurring less and less frequently. Thank the gods for that! I rely not only on my own growing self-awareness but also on the advice of my mentors, friends, and family (both biological and spiritual) to help keep me in check when pessimism attempts to outshine humility.

For readers who experience these episodes more often than they’d like, I suggest taking a little space when these feelings arise, ensuring that the whole cool-down effect has happened before reengaging socially. Work to formulate responses instead of being merely reactive. Because empaths can have a commanding and influential presence, we must seek to control, manage, and channel our pain and negativities before accidentally infecting others and causing emotional damage through projective empathy, which we are very capable of doing!

For those with chronic physical or mental pain, remaining empathetic can be a daily challenge. Feelings of pain and fear, whether momentary or ongoing, can easily make someone defensive. Overreactive defensiveness can be triggered during situations that somehow seem to threaten the welfare of oneself or loved ones. In some cases, these responses are necessary and can prevent harm from occurring. In other cases, they are overreactions to situations that can be more easily solved through constructive dialogue.

Emotional stress responses are a natural part of human emotion and may seem more pronounced for people who are constantly living in their emotional body. Ironically, the frazzled empath is anything but empathetic. Empaths can use harsh judgment as an instinctual response when feeling wounded, which in turn can lead to further insecurities and a low self-image when the empath realizes how unempathetic they’ve behaved. It’s overcompensation; it’s as simple as that. Let’s endeavor to hang on to our compassion even when our stress level tells us otherwise. When our empathy becomes compromised, for whatever reason, we can be awfully vicious to one another. We don’t want to become emotionally distant people as a response to our heightened emotional sensitivity. It ultimately causes damage to others and ourselves when we allow ourselves to become bitter and defensive during moments of pain. We are all in the process of discovering our own unique methods of rising above mental and physical pain so we can embrace present-moment awareness with undying compassion. This isn’t always easy, but it is possible.

We are responsible for molding our minds. Regardless of what life throws our way, we always have the freedom of self-programming! There are times when we must decisively force ourselves into positive thinking in order to combat reactionary pessimism. Our brains become conditioned through repetition, affecting us on conscious and unconscious levels, and the manner in which our minds become molded is entirely reliant on our own choices and intentions.

Numerous emotionally wounded empaths have actually trained themselves to become emotionless because it seems easier that way. It can seem easier to care only about one’s own needs and perspectives. Apathy is a tricky illusion because it feels safer to have an emotional void—because then no one can hurt you. While I can empathize with feelings of betrayal and the desire to shut off our emotions at times, I feel that choosing to permanently dull our emotional center is a cowardly act of avoidance because it takes constant work to become a balanced empath. Self-chosen apathy is a choice that borders on sociopathy. Sociopaths are experts at reading nonverbal cues and microexpressions, but that doesn’t make them empaths. True empathy, as I mentioned earlier, requires a compassionate response. If you feel as though your compassion has been suffering and you’re on the verge of training yourself to shut it all off, I urge you to reconsider. We are given emotion for a reason, and if we try to sidestep those gifts because they can be painful, it’s doing a disservice to the world and to our inner nature. Regardless of how deeply we have been wounded by others, we all have the ability to return to a place of healing and empathy. Everybody deserves compassion because it changes the world for the better. That’s why we’re here.

If you experience occasions of social bitterness, consider whether the anxieties you’re feeling or the judgments you momentarily have about others are really yours or if they’re just extensions of other people’s. Sometimes a person takes on the judgments of others or of society at large, which is a method to fit in with any given social group (nobody wants to be rejected). Perhaps the judgments belong to society in general and are not actually your own. If you’re feeling upset with someone, take some space and practice grounding and centering exercises to cool down. When you reengage, try empathically stepping into their shoes for a moment so you can better comprehend their feelings and viewpoints, even if it’s tough. Try to see if you are misunderstanding something or if there is actually a fundamental difference in opinion. In other words, invoke that empathy back into yourself as much as you can when you’re feeling like it’s fallen away. This mirrored experience will help reveal the other person’s true intentions and the source of conflict from their side. If your consciousness sits in clarity with both their emotional state and your own, you can more easily and accurately form conclusions about the conflict. If you are stuck in negative thinking, or if these feelings arise in you unexpectedly, keep this point in mind: before you respond to a situation with bitterness, utilize your inherent empathy to consider the other person’s state of mind or prospective response. Even if it feels like being brutally honest would be the best solution, consider whether you’ve seen all sides of the situation and if the person or people you’re addressing will be receptive to that sort of communication. (This is of particular importance to male readers, as many men in our society tend to have a more abrupt or upfront method of communication.)

This advice pertains to situations where contact between two people is usually healthy and desirable. If there is any chance that you’re truly in physical or psychological danger, listen to your instincts and disengage with that individual until you can gather more opinions or even discuss the experiences with a therapist or legal official. Protect yourself when you need to be protected.

Everyday social interactions should be smooth and comfortable. No one deserves to live in a state of panic. It’s easy to become bitter, jaded, and otherwise cruel over time. Taking on a routinely negative and distancing mindset can certainly dull the empathic experience, but although it might feel as though life is more manageable this way, it really is not an ideal coping method. In fact, it’s a selfish coping method. Even if we have suffered a difficult or hellish past, we can greatly choose how we respond in the here and now; that is our freedom of choice.

Even the most spiritually advanced and empathetic person is prone to having the shadow self take over from time to time. Gone uncontrolled, this can be dreadfully destructive. When mindful self-awareness is sought, the very shadow that defines us as humans can be gotten under control, thereby defining us as spiritually progressive individuals.

IN PRACTICE
Become the Observer

Emotions are tricky for empaths because we feel them so very deeply. As we have explored, it’s easy for us to begin identifying our emotions as ourselves if we don’t consciously put a bit of separation between the feeling and the self. For this reason, we mustn’t be only participants in our experiences, but also the observers.

To jumpstart this exercise, head to the bathroom. Ensure that you won’t be disturbed for at least twenty minutes. Using either sunlight or candlelight, stand in front of the bathroom mirror (after ensuring that it’s clean and clear). Without feeling any sort of judgment or self-assessment, look at your body in the mirror. If you are feeling especially confident, become skyclad (nude) and observe the subtle nuances of the human figure. Slowly and softly observe the shape of your shoulders and arms, your chest, torso, legs, and head. Visually examine the hairs that spring from your skin. Look at the shapes of your eyes, nose, mouth, and ears. With all judgment subsided, behold the miracle of the human form.

Observe your chest rising and falling with each breath. Consider the blood pumping though every inch of this physical frame before you. Think about the various organs throughout your body and how they maintain the human vessel. Slowly contemplate each of your body’s systems: the nervous system, cardiovascular system, respiratory system, digestive system, reproductive system, muscular system, skeletal system, and so on. Allow yourself some time to meditate on these various interconnected structures. Observe your physical body as something very familiar yet somehow foreign. Your consciousness gets to wear this beautiful human suit for a brief period of time.

When you’re ready, plug the bathroom sink and drip cold water slowly from the tap. Clear your thoughts as you gaze at the flowing water and listen to the gentle sound it creates. Become intently focused on the sight and sound of the water. As you more deeply focus, remind yourself of your nature as a conscious being: you are a spark of the Divine experiencing reality through the physical senses made manifest in the vehicle that is your body. As you gaze at the gentle water, remember that your body is made of approximately 60 percent water. Without any judgment, bring to mind the fact that, like the water, your consciousness is but a drop in the expanse of the human experience. Like the water, your drop of consciousness will eventually reintegrate with the whole and become recycled in the never-ending dance of life. You are not your body. You are not your ego. You are not your emotions. You are not your thoughts. These are only pieces of your beautiful whole. You are a piece of the boundless, limitless expanse of evolutionary consciousness.

When you feel as though you have successfully reconnected with the formation of your physical body and your consciousness, allow yourself to slowly come back to the present moment. Conclude the experience by taking a shower and thinking about your observations.

Finally, write down your thoughts about this exercise in your journal or Book of Shadows. Repeat the exercise as often as you’d like; it is especially helpful during times of increased emotional stress. As you go about your daily activities, remember that you are both a participant in and an observer of reality.

EMPATHIC CONTEMPLATION
The Dangers of Personality Absorption

If you frequently experience the absorption of other people’s personalities, characteristics, and viewpoints, please consider the following point with the utmost seriousness. It breaks my heart to see empathic individuals striving so hard to avoid conflict that they completely sidestep their own personality in an effort to mirror whoever they are around (so as to not risk upsetting them). This is particularly dire when the person they’re accompanying has little empathetic capacity or exhibits self-serving motivations. If an empath is excessively insecure about themselves or is otherwise reliant on the approval of other people, the lengths to which they may strive to avoid conflict can in fact be acts of self-sabotage.

I’ve seen highly empathetic people agree with negative judgments even if they don’t actually feel that way, and I’ve seen empaths engage in slanderous gossip because they don’t know how else to connect with the person they’re talking to. It’s important to consider the potential of slander, gossip, and malicious behavior issuing forth from less sensitive folks. Though your empathic intuition may tell you otherwise, you really don’t need to involve yourself in other people’s conflicts if they aren’t about you. There is no reason for you to perpetuate someone else’s negativities just because it feels easier to identify with those emotions in the moment. If you, as an empath, absorb and mirror someone else’s judgments about another person, how do you think you’ll respond when it all comes full circle and you’re faced with the need to be accountable for those judgmental beliefs (which may actually be someone else’s beliefs)? In this case, the insecure empath is likely to avoid all accountability because the risk of conflict is too difficult to bear. The empath’s response, then, is likely to be something along the lines of stating that they didn’t actually say that, that they don’t believe those things, that they don’t take sides, and so on. This is a result of having an undefined personality; it’s a result of a sensitive person absorbing other people’s issues due to their own insecurities and self-perceived inadequacies. Don’t become a shit-talker just because you’re hanging out with a shit-talker. It’s not worth it to agree with everyone all the time, especially if the reputation or character of another person is being dragged through the mud. We can utilize empathy without mirroring other people’s judgments. We can encourage people to empathize with those they are having a conflict with, or at least to try seeing things from another perspective.

If this sort of situation sounds all too familiar to you, please take it as a sign of development. When interacting with someone who is insulting or degrading toward another person, try making every attempt to turn the slander into something constructive by discussing the third person’s good qualities and by reinforcing the hope that the individual will be able to overcome their challenges. We need to cultivate the ability to trust our own perceptions and defend them if necessary. Being overly passive has its limitations. If we don’t take the lead in the dance of life at times, then we’re only marionettes being pulled along by someone else’s strings.

CHAPTER MEDITATION
Cord Cutting for Empathic Realignment

This meditation will provide an example of a simple visualization you can use when you feel overwhelmed by external emotional energies. Because an overabundance of external emotional energy affects the empath’s internal emotional processing system, it’s essential to hit the reset button from time to time. A healthy way to do this is through a cord-cutting (or cord-plucking) visualization. Meditations of this sort help strong empaths process emotions, allowing us to use our empathy in a positive manner throughout life’s daily routine.

There are innumerable ways to ground, center, and cleanse one’s own energy. It’s good to experiment with different methods and see what works best. Feel free to modify this meditation if you’d like, such as by incorporating additional steps depending on your spiritual preference. Additional steps may include ritualistic circle casting, a cleansing bath, exercise or yoga, calling spirits or guardians, singing, chanting, or dancing. I also like to have a drink or two before performing self-aimed visualization, which can help put the mind in a more relaxed space. Whatever the case, you should incorporate whatever works best for you. This meditation can be performed in the manner I describe or can be used with a specific person or situation in mind. Be sure to read through the meditation a couple of times to determine if you’d like to gather specific tools to aid in the process.

1. Go to a place in nature to perform this meditation. If this is not possible, try to recreate a natural environment in your own home by surrounding yourself with plants, playing nature sounds, burning some woody incense, or whatever works best for you. If performing this meditation outside, be sure you bring a food offering with you to give to the local spirits and animals, such as grains, seeds, bread, veggies, fruit, or rice.

2. When you’re situated in a private natural area, get as naked as you’re comfortable getting and lie down. Begin breathing deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth. Close your eyes and allow the breaths to become more deep and intense. Feel the fresh oxygen entering your entire body by way of your lungs, and sense it pulsing through every limb and organ, pushing out built-up energies through your skin. If possible, make deep vocal noises while you exhale. Put all of your muscles to work, convulsing ever so slightly.

3. After you practice deep body-breathing for a few minutes, suddenly stop. Breathe naturally and effortlessly. Let stillness enter your mind. Clear your thoughts as much as possible. With your eyes still closed, bring your focus to your skin. See your epidermis as a divine shell meticulously encasing your bones, muscles, and organs. Sense any areas of imbalance by mentally scanning yourself from head to toe. You are scanning for energetic cords. If you’re already familiar with your energetic body, you’ll easily be able to sense most of these cords. If this is a new experience, just trust your intuition and open your mind; there is no wrong way to do it.

4. Energetic cords can tie us to other people, situations, and moments in time. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. At this point, it’s only essential to clip the cords that you feel are either draining your energy or feeding you vibes you don’t want. You don’t need to know the reason for every cord you sense, but intuition might give you some clues in the moment. If you are presently aware of certain people or situations that are unwittingly discombobulating your energy or emotions, bring that subject to mind and sense where you feel a sensation on your skin; this can be considered the cord’s point of entry.

5. When you sense the location of a cord, keep your eyes closed and bring your hands to that area of your body (sit upright if necessary) or as close as you can get. Get to know the cord by sensing its diameter and general structure. You might get a visualization of colors, shapes, or textures. When you feel familiarized with it, wrap your hands around the cord, take a deep breath, and pluck it out while you exhale. You may feel a sensation of the “roots” pulling out of your body, like when a weed is plucked. Once the cord has been extracted, open your eyes.

6. With the cord in your hands, “plant” the cord into the earth beside you. Pull a bit of energy from the earth and mound it at the base of the cord as if you were transplanting live flora. Mama Nature will take good care of the cord by letting it cycle into the natural flow of life. Vocally say goodbye to the cord and peaceably let it go. Bid it adieu in whatever manner you’d like. (If you are performing this indoors, I would advise bringing a bowl of soil with you that you can later give to the base of a tree.)

7. Lie back down when you feel that the cord has been securely planted. Now that there’s an energetic hole, fill that hole with beneficial energy in whatever manner you’d like. You may have chosen to bring a gemstone or crystal to aid in focused healing. You may wish to put some salt on the hole to energetically block reentry. You may be familiar with Reiki or other forms of energy channeling to help seal the area. You may have brought along some appropriate magickal herbs you enjoy using. You may prefer to simply visualize healing white light flooding the area. Again, there is no wrong way to do it. Energy follows intention, and change follows imagination. Get creative or keep it simple—do whatever effectively helps you find your balance!

8. Repeat this process with other draining cords you discover until you feel yourself clean and clear. Be sure to do this visualization only on cords that “feel” depressive or negative. Trust your intuition. You are energetically weeding, not harvesting a garden.

9. When you feel clean and clear, and you feel as though your energy centers have been nicely recharged, stand up and leave your offering for the land and its spirits. Say a prayer or sing an ancestral song if you wish. Give thanks and offer gratitude to the process of transformation. Breathe deeply. Offer the food wherever it feels right, bow deeply to the spirits, then turn around and walk away.

[contents]

18. DailyOM, “Whole-Self Well-Being” (October 10, 2006), www.dailyom.com/articles/2006/5094.html.

CHAPTER V

Approaching the
Mundane World

“Pure love is a state of Being. Whereas everyone is running around trying to get love, it is found in giving. When a person begins to lose the idea of his own personality through concern for others, he will attract a like response to himself. The outgoing force of the soul in action brings freedom to the lower states of mind. The instinctive person is ordinarily so preoccupied with his own self, so wrapped up in his own shell, that he cannot give a thought to the welfare of another. He cannot give anything of himself. Such a person usually feels sorry for himself and finds other people unloving and unresponsive. He is still far from any realization of the Self within.”

—Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami (Gurudeva),
Merging with Siva

EMPATHIC ANECDOTE

Absorption and Lightwork

A number of years ago, it was time for my newly adopted temple cat Uba to have a checkup with the veterinarian. (My other fluffy baby, the beautiful black Maine Coon named Fizzgig, was probably just being born around this time.) The ringworm that Uba had on her skin was starting to spread, and it seemed the right time to make an appointment for a checkup and get some medication prescribed to stop the fungus from spreading any further. The appointment went well, the charge was minimal, and the solution was simple. Cat and medicine in hand, I headed for the car and stuck both inside.

“Great job, Uba Nabibi Mudada. You were so good for the doctor!” Just then, I noticed a dog behaving strangely outside of the clinic. A thirty-something fellow with sunglasses snubbed out a cigarette and stood before the dog. I couldn’t hear what he was saying. The dog had short, brown fur and looked to be about sixty pounds. The dog’s head was slanted ninety degrees to the left, and his right eye was missing. He kept walking in circles, one after another, tongue hanging out over bits of missing hair. I was somewhat reassured when I noticed that the dog was all smiles, so to speak; the doggie grin he wore was from ear to ear.

“Is he okay?” I said as I walked up to the gentleman.

“No … no, he’s not.” The man’s sorrow was palpable. “This is it.”

“What do you … oh …”

“Yep,” the man said, his voice trembling. His sadness couldn’t be contained.“It’s the end of the road. He lost his eye a while back, and he’s just disoriented and … he’s done for.”

When I instinctively placed my hand on the fellow’s left shoulder, a feeling of emotional pain took over—a deep, mournful, soul-level type of pain. The gentleman’s canine was clearly a beloved companion.

He started to weep a bit more, not trying as hard to hide the sadness. It seemed like he was the type of fellow who normally hid his emotions, a sad reality for so many men in American culture. He probably didn’t like to burden others with the weight of real emotion.

“Yeah,” I replied. “This sort of thing is so hard. Really, really hard.” I was getting teary. I had absorbed a good deal of his emotion, not out of a conscious effort but because of proximity.

“I just can’t be selfish anymore. I’ve been selfish too long. It’s time for him to move on.”

“You brought him here so he can leave?”

“Mmm hmm.”

I removed my hand from his back, worried that he might feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, male-to-male touch is also a taboo in American culture, even though that particular taboo doesn’t exist in many other cultures of the world. Either way, he didn’t seem to mind the contact and conversation and actually seemed to appreciate the support from a stranger.

“He’s happy, you know,” I told him. “Very happy.”

“Yeah, he is. I know. He’s had a really good round.”

I replied, “He’s had a good incarnation. He’s fulfilled, and now he can leave his body.”

The man walked over to his dog, who had begun circling near traffic. The owner rerouted his disoriented, grinning friend. The vet came outside to greet the dog and console the gentleman. Patting the dog on the back, I could feel a sensation of happiness in the animal despite the obvious physical pain and delirium being experienced. I contemplated the fact that when humans are in ongoing pain, we tend to get fearful and emotionally attached to the sensation. It becomes a source of panic. Animals just accept it and keep on going.

“Have a good journey,” I told the beloved pet. The owner and the dog went inside the clinic. The man didn’t remove his shades.

The only thing that felt right to do was to sit in the car and cry for a few minutes, feeling the deep pain of loss the fellow was experiencing. For a time, the emotion simply existed, expressing itself through watery eyes. I felt so bad for the gentleman, wishing that there was some way to help but also realizing that going through this type of tragically difficult experience is the paradox of love and is one of the hardest life lessons a loving person can endure.

“Okay,” I said to myself, “I absorbed this for a reason. Being an empath is a sacred gift. This emotion wants to be worked with.” I first envisioned a soft, white light surrounding my face and head, quelling the tears and providing some spiritual reassurance. To me, the white light represented a sort of force from beyond, a comfort from the hidden realm. This permeated my head and quickly washed over my body as I breathed deeply. I felt more composed, not due to emotional suppression but due to constructive energetic work, and I visualized this same healing light going to the man and the dog. The face of the owner appeared in my mind’s eye, surrounded in this soft light of acceptance and peace.

My biggest hope was that this small bit of energy work, which doubled as a type of personal emotional processing, could help ease a little bit of the man’s pain. By actively processing difficult emotions that are absorbed, we are given the opportunity to transmute these vibrations in a helpful manner and more fully live our purpose as an empath.

✴ ✴ ✴

Defining Sociality

As we’ve been exploring, empaths tend to perceive the emotional realm before perceiving other aspects of communication. This makes it necessary to learn about society and about ourselves in order to interact more comfortably with our fellow humans. Emotionally sensitive people and deep thinkers notoriously take substantial periods of time to digest public interactions and social situations. Understanding society’s intricacies is a lifelong process, not least because social norms and customs vary from culture to culture—and they’re constantly changing!

As a result of our energetic and emotional openness, social codes of conduct that other people learn instinctively may not come as easily to us. People naturally project their own boundaries onto other people by assuming that others have a similar set of boundaries—or a lack thereof!

Developing empaths have difficulty putting thoughts into words because of the assumption that people understand what’s being expressed, with or without words. “Since I can sense what others are saying without them saying it,” thinks the empath, “can’t everyone do it too?” Nope. In fact, sometimes others feel as though they’re being “read,” psychoanalyzed, or scrutinized by the empath instead of actually being listened to simply because they don’t understand the nonverbal nature of highly empathic communication. They may feel that you are “spacing out” or disinterested, when in reality you are simply communicating on a different level. Highly verbal individuals may struggle when communicating with empaths, so it is our job to pay attention to the words as they are spoken, even if it’s tempting to focus exclusively on the energetic exchange.

One suggestion I received for learning the art of social conduct came from my High Priestess Estha McNevin. Being somewhat of an anglophile, she suggested that American empaths can benefit from observing British television and film—or British culture in general! The culture of the British Isles is much older and more socially established than that of the United States; longstanding ideas about status and propriety permeate the culture. Everything has its time and place. In British culture, there are both proper and improper ways of addressing certain people, behaving in certain situations, and going about life in general. Also, the dominant language in these regions is English, which can make social observations more relatable for Americans whose first language is also English.

Every country across the world has its unique history of cultural practices and social norms. Social norms and customs are embedded in everybody’s daily behaviors and perceptions, even if we don’t realize it. While many people around the world, namely youth, are actively testing the social limitations and mores of their countries, long-established cultural traditions will always influence their residents to some degree. If an American learns about the social aspects of highly established cultures, we may become more easily able to identify people’s social identities and common codes of conduct. Post-colonial America is, after all, a melting pot of various cultures, all mixed together in one beautiful cauldron of global diversity.

Who’s Who? Social Boundaries and Constructs

Aside from inherent biological differences among us, human variation is not as severe as many people are trained to believe. The vast majority of “otherness,” whether social, political, religious, ethnic, or sexual, is nothing more than social constructs that serve to divide groups of individuals and move us further away from our potential for human unity.

Empaths naturally focus on similarities rather than differences, which can serve to cross other people’s boundaries from time to time. The extent to which one may accidentally cross others’ boundaries depends on many factors besides empathic capacity, including a person’s past experiences and social conditioning.

In order to successfully function socially, we should at least have some awareness of social standards and relations. It’s from that platform of awareness that we can gracefully function within established social boundaries and successfully push those limits as we see fit.

Understanding social standards doesn’t always come naturally to highly empathic folks; it sure didn’t for me. One particular section I read in Rose Rosetree’s book Empowered by Empathy: 25 Ways to Fly in Spirit was particularly eye-opening for me. The following list was inspired by a helpful entry in her book. In it, she explains various social relationships and manners in which we can interact depending on our proximity to the individuals.

Strangers: These are people you don’t know at all, even if you encounter them on a regular basis. If a stranger casually asks, “How’s it goin’?” your response should be something like, “Good, thanks. Just enjoying the afternoon,” as opposed to something like, “Well, pretty good except I keep peeing every five minutes. Coffee is such a major diuretic!” (Note: I only know these things through experience, Daniel-san.)

Acquaintances: These are people with whom you interact frequently and share common ground but with whom you haven’t formed lasting personal relationships. It’s not appropriate to speak of deep or personal issues with acquaintances, because the connection between you is only potentially budding, not blossomed. Your connection may or may not evolve into something resembling friendship, as acquaintance relationships are usually emotionally neutral or moderate.

Colleagues (Coworkers): These are the people you interact with and ideally get along with on the job or within an organization, but with whom you wouldn’t necessarily be likely to spend extended amounts of time outside of the workplace. Discussions about deeper life issues are rarely appropriate with colleagues with whom you don’t share commonalities outside of work. However, if you spend time together outside of work, it may constitute a “buddy” connection or a developing friendship.

Pals and Buddies: These are people you connect well with and generally like spending time with. However, your relationship with them is not generally founded on deep or personal feelings; it’s more of a relationship based on similar interests or having mutual friends, with the added bonus of enjoying each other’s company. You may or may not seek out each other’s company and may interact with greater emotion than with acquaintances.

Friends: These are the people who have earned your trust and who have come to trust you in return. You’re likely to discuss personal viewpoints and even get into heated debates without a risk of it compromising your connection. Friends have a number of things in common and are comfortable acting silly and displaying a healthy amount of vulnerability with each other. Friends seek out each other’s company or a time to catch up when they’re mutually available.

Good Friends: People can have a limitless number of good friends, close friends, dear friends, or best friends. These are the folks with whom you imagine a personal bond existing for the remainder of your lives, regardless of time or distance. Virtually anything and everything can be discussed between good friends. Both are aware of each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and both feel a sense of love and loyalty toward each other. Good friendships are generally platonic but have the potential to cross into romantic territory depending on the dynamics of the connection. For this reason, everyone’s boundaries, needs, and expectations should always be transparently expressed. Good friends exist as honest and loving comrades.

Lovers: Ideally, people who identify as lovers, partners, or mates—regardless of the terms they use to describe themselves—are those who have a good friendship with the extra addition of romance. This romance can be sensual, sexual, or emotional, and is usually a combination of these. For example, a “friend with benefits” may fall into this category, but so would a life partner or a spouse. Monogamy, polyandry, female lovers, male lovers … there is a vast array of relationship styles, titles, and expressions. My only bit of advice is to discover what style of romantic relationship works best for the parties involved and, as with all close relationships, to keep all intentions, emotions, boundaries, desires, and expectations 100 percent transparent. This open-honesty policy can serve to keep the relationship(s) solid and sustainable.

Interpreting the Other

Allow me to mention the issue of reception versus interpretation. It’s easy to sense the emotions, feelings, and sensations of oneself and others, but accurately interpreting and understanding what exactly is being felt, including its source, is a whole other ballgame. You may feel an overwhelming sense of aggression, fear, elation, or excitement from someone else—that’s the empathy at work—but searching for the whys and wherefores is different because it relies on the mind. People who are psychic, highly mentally perceptive, or intellectually acute may be able to easily pinpoint a source or reason for a feeling, but those who live in their emotional body are admittedly prone to misinterpretations and assumptions when it comes to “why.”

Earlier I mentioned the need for us to avoid overthinking the source of our emotion in the moment; this can lead to obsession. In some cases, simple meditation and self-reflection can help the empath pinpoint the factors leading to their emotional state, but in other cases it is simply impossible. When it comes to social interaction, it’s good to ask questions when they arise instead of letting them snowball into greater problems. If you’re worried that you may be interpreting someone’s body language inaccurately, just ask them. Having someone clarify themselves may feel awkward at first, but it’s a vital part of clear communication and can help prevent a lot of unnecessary stress. You might state, “It seems to me that you are feeling this way,” or, “Are you feeling this and this?” The main thing is to ensure that the person doesn’t feel you’re crossing their boundaries or making emotional assumptions. Additionally, because some people are accustomed to communicating in a passive-aggressive manner instead of just saying what they’re feeling—which is something that massively gets my goat—it’s good to ask clarifying questions.

As I mentioned in chapter I, a prominent writer and researcher in the field of empathy and emotions is Karla McLaren. Her book The Art of Empathy: A Complete Guide to Life’s Most Essential Skill is a resource I recommend to anyone who identifies as an empath. In this brilliant piece of work, she discusses numerous aspects of emotions and empathic experience, also suggesting that “empathic burnout” may be an explanation for the behavior of many people who seem outwardly angry, anxious, or arrogant. Instead of being people who inherently lack empathy, many of these individuals may actually suffer from an inability to manage their own hyperempathic abilities, suggesting that these folks require a neutral or gentle approach, because a true pathological lack of empathy is rare. Naturally, she advocates self-healing and therapeutic approaches for individuals who have responded to empathic overload in this manner.

When explaining a successful empathic approach to engaging with other people, McLaren suggests the following: “To engage perceptively, you have to be able to share emotions, accurately identify them, regulate them in yourself, take the perspective of others, be concerned enough to want to engage helpfully, and, finally, engage from an unselfish position of empathic knowledge of the other.” 19 I encourage the reader to fully reflect and meditate on each of these vital points.

Consider the Individual

Though we can easily empathize with another person’s emotions, we need to extend our awareness beyond this in order to see how and if they are empathizing with us! It’s common to believe that everyone we speak to has the same way of communicating that we do, simply because we are familiar with our own style of communication. Therefore, we may fail to take into account that the other person may not actually be comprehending or interpreting us accurately. Miscommunications can arise if we are not articulate with our words.

We can’t expect everyone else to understand what we are conveying or which emotions are behind the words we use. Even if we have the ability to complete other people’s thoughts and sentences (which I don’t recommend in practice), many people are reliant on vocal communication instead of emotional exchange. By using words and body language, we help define our emotions for other people. It can be difficult for emotionally sensitive people to interact with those who may not be as emotionally developed, especially if it’s a required part of our occupation or family experience.

There was a time when it was my habit to go along with almost any idea or concept presented to me. I was also prone to “empathing” a person’s lust toward me and letting it take over. In my younger days I would flirt and make out with all sorts of guys and gals, especially when liquor was involved and especially if I felt some attraction in return. I would do this whether or not I actually intended to cultivate a romantic relationship with the person, because I had simply “empathed” their desire toward me and responded in a manner that I felt was playful and frivolous. Nowadays it’s easier for me to recognize the effects that others have on me, and me on them. In an effort to break fewer hearts, I now strive not to lead people on romantically. I favor healthy models of honest and direct communication because a moment of flirty fun can easily be misconstrued.

Consider with whom you are interacting in any given situation. As you communicate, try to clarify the perspective of others through cognitive reasoning and active dialogue and not rely merely on the emotional exchange. If misinterpretations do arise, that emotional state can change instantaneously, so empaths in particular need to be precise with their words and pay attention to what the other person is saying.

When you’re interpreting another person or people, try to distinguish between what is social judgment and what is true intuition. Because of the instantaneous emotional exchange that occurs between the empath and anyone in their sphere, empathic individuals frequently feel an immediate aversion to people whose personal energy is blatantly malicious. If you find yourself immediately disliking someone, take a step back and analyze where this is coming from. Is it due to some sort of visual or sensory prejudice, is it because of gossip or hearsay, or is it a genuine feeling of being unsafe around their energy? For empaths or psychics who have experienced considerable physical or emotional abuse in the past, sensing someone’s personality can come easily due to the mind’s survival instinct of discerning friend from foe. Less empathetic folks are more prone to judge a person based on their own prejudices and interpret their thoughts as psychic or empathic, while a truly empathetic individual will almost always look past their own judgments and give someone a chance.

Here’s some food for thought: Do you think it’s better to be radically honest about your perceptions when talking to others, or to slightly alter your wording so as not to hurt anyone’s feelings, or to hold your tongue entirely for the sake of tact or social propriety? Or is it completely relative, depending on the situation? When I asked this question to empathic friends and acquaintances, I gathered these perspectives: radical honesty depends on one’s proximity to the other person (how close are you to the individual you’re talking to?), the relevancy of the opinion (is it necessary to express it or is it solicited by proxy?), and the motivation or intention of the radical honesty (is it to gain a sense of superiority or is it to garner a positive emotional exchange?).

It’s human nature to judge one another, assess one another, and have a desire to fit in socially, but I believe it all boils down to intention: we can vent without being vitriolic, and we can meet social standards without sacrificing our own ethics. If we actively work on ourselves and embrace humble honesty with others, our actions and interactions can become inspired by love.

As spiritual human beings, it’s our responsibility to utilize our empathic skills to help influence progressive outcomes in any given situation. Instead of saying, “Wow, you’re really being an ass,” for example, say, “I know you don’t mean to sound rude” or “Let’s go to our happy place,” perhaps interjecting a bit of humor or lightheartedness—this conveys the same message in a tone that doesn’t perpetuate stress, and it can apply to virtually any negative exchange.

It is quite possible to have a “baseline” personality and style of communication and still slightly alter your mode of communication with certain people without it being disingenuous. If I am talking to a child or to a person with a developmental disability, I will still speak to them as a peer, but the words and tone I use may be slightly altered. I may choose to add additional body language and practice more conscious behavioral mirroring to make the communication more precise.

Men, women, and non-binary individuals all communicate in different manners and utilize human communication in different ways. Moreover, every individual person understands reality from their own unique vantage point! Using your ability to step into another’s shoes, try to see how other individuals will perceive what you say before you actually communicate your message. Can you mindfully choose your words and projected intentions while remaining true to your individual voice?

Sometimes we should listen politely to another person’s venting. Sometimes people just need to talk. We don’t have to fill lulls in conversation with anxious chatter. It can be a challenge to remain empathetic if we frequently witness people around us feigning empathy in order to feel more connected to others; this is often a sign of a deeper underlying issue, such as a fixation on social acceptance.

As empathic healers or listeners, we can help other people brainstorm ways to meet their own needs, even if those needs or methods are drastically different from what we ourselves may choose or what we may require in our own lives. We mustn’t project our own assumptions or our own emotional state onto other people, especially in situations of advice or service. Empathy requires us to fully “step into” the other person’s world to discover advice that can help the person on their level, based on their own personal experiences and perceptions.

IN PRACTICE
Operation Empathy: Random Magickal Acts

Want to add a bit of empathic magick out there in the mundane world? Random acts of kindness can take people out of their everyday experience by adding an element of the unexpected. While we should maintain our empathetic kindness and generosity on a consistent daily basis, there are those times when we may feel inspired to take it a step further. I’ve found that random acts of kindness become even more fun and meaningful if they’re anonymous and unobserved. Examples are as follows.

Find a location where you know that homeless people sleep on a regular basis. When you observe that no one is around, leave some healthy food that they can find upon return. You may wish to put a smiley-face sticker on the food and a note that says “enjoy” or “just a gift!” Ensure that the food you offer is factory-sealed so they will know it’s safe, and feel free to use visualization to enchant it with energies of healing and peace (or, if you’re feeling brave, you can always gift the food face to face!).

Walk around town with a stack of sticky notes and dollar bills. Look for vending machines. Stick a buck to each vending machine you encounter with a sticky note saying “present 4 U” or something else simple and fun. Envision these blessings spreading to those who may be in need of a little treat to lift their spirits.

Try the same at a public library by bringing a small stack of bills with you. Take your time while browsing books to intuitively feel which ones need a blessing. Stick bills in books for others to discover when they check out the material. You can do this with fiction, nonfiction, magazines, children’s books, or whatever you feel called toward. You can also hide random bills in dollar stores or supermarkets. Depending on your budget, you can bring singles or bills of a higher denomination. If you’re in the United States, you may consider hitting up the bank for some two-dollar bills; these are fun and totally unexpected to find!

You may feel called to leave pieces of art in public places. This can include painted rocks, works of art, gemstones, or Tarot cards. Here’s a thought: perform some divination and write your interpretations on little slips of paper. Over the week, allow your intuition to guide you to the locations they need to be placed for random individuals to discover.

Another idea I’ve heard is to leave small bouquets of flowers in little glasses with a note tied to each saying something like “a flower for you or a loved one.” Imagine the ripple effect of joy this small loving act could create—not to mention the favorable karma.

The ideas are endless, and they can of course be metaphysically aligned to the lunar or seasonal cycles of nature if that appeals to you. Get creative, have fun, and secretively spread the joy however you can. Consider this mission Operation Empathy.

Public Interaction and Interpersonal Balance

Most of us regularly interact with other people. The conscious brain is a social brain; we are wired to interact with each other, to learn, to grow, and to create change with those in our lives. For empaths, we must learn to walk a thin line between social extremes. As we consciously utilize our abilities, we learn how to find our unique social balance in this crazy world. If we are overly social, our individuality can suffer. If we are too antisocial, our ability to connect with others can suffer. Life itself is a balancing act between extremes.

At one point in my life, I realized that I was getting in the routine of being too socially passive. I would go along with virtually any idea or viewpoint presented to me. I hated to disagree or disrupt in any way. Upon realizing that I was doing this, I suddenly overcompensated by becoming overwhelmingly projective. I would define and insert my opinions and perspectives even if they weren’t asked for. I would behave as though I knew better than everyone else, and I would declare my opinions on certain matters as if they were cold, hard facts. There are times when I’ll slip back into this cycle and have to catch myself. In reality, I was overcompensating for years of introversion. Turns out that for someone of my tall stature and unconventional appearance, an overly assertive demeanor can seem intimidating … oops. It took me years to get to a relatively balanced mode of operation between absorptive and projective empathy.

Earlier in the book we looked at empathy’s projective side. The way we carry ourselves is of huge importance. We can give hugs and handshakes that are heartfelt and assertive rather than passive and shy. We can invoke confidence and fake it till we make it, even if our natural inclination is to be shy and nonsocial. To get on better with others, we can choose to interact with pride, not with inhibition. We can choose to become big in communication and small in ego. We can choose to carry ourselves with confidence and grace, finding our own unique balance between introversion and extroversion.

When I’m feeling socially shy and awkward, I often imagine myself as big and empowered; I hold my head up high and make eye contact. I keep my back straight, observe my environment, and walk with graceful determination. I maintain a slight smile, which sets others and myself at ease. I am also not afraid to tell people, “I’m feeling a bit of social anxiety right now.” By putting it on the table, we give ourselves a break and allow any given conversation to remain genuine. There’s no need to entirely hide our feelings if we’re being humble, considerate, and genuine.

Invoking Confidence

People will often unknowingly test our ability to be projective and confident. If someone “deadpans” you, for example—if they are expressionless and stonefaced while you’re speaking with them—the empath might perceive this as threatening or just plain awkward. Because empathy is an unconscious exchange to a great extent, most people (whether highly empathic or not) tend to become irritated or nervous when responses are not mimicked or confirmed by the other party. When empathy appears to be nonexistent, whether it’s a person pausing before speaking sentences, someone speaking in monotone, or someone with an expressionless glare, the empathic bond is not fully awakened. This is usually a subconscious desire on the other person’s part not to be read, perceived, or empathized with for their own reasons of privacy, protection, personal conditioning, or stoicism. The more confidence we acquire, the less nerve-racking these deadpan or “cold fish” interactions can be. Emanate compassion and remember that even if the person is judging you, it’s not your job to please everyone, anyway. Whatever you do, don’t allow yourself to become downtrodden by those who haven’t yet learned to harness their emotions!

By recognizing our inherent introspective nature, empaths can make a conscious effort not to be too quiet when other people are around—unless we’re kicking it with people who are close to us; then some amount of silence can be comforting. While staying socially quiet may come naturally to a number of empaths, it doesn’t for everyone else. A person’s silence in the midst of a conversation (namely a conversation with those you don’t know very well) can be interpreted as judgmental and can evoke a fearful reaction—or even social alienation if we’re not careful! We don’t want people around us to feel like they’re being watched or scrutinized, which is how too much shyness or quietness can be perceived by less emotionally sensitive individuals.

A really good social icebreaker is to “play the fool.” Joking about your space-cadet nature can be endearing without being self-deprecating. Allow others to laugh with you! Inserting intentional humor into everyday conversations can help conduct social energies in a positive direction. (I think it’s safe to say that I learned some techniques of deadpan humor from my father!) Just because you’re socially awkward at times doesn’t mean you’re not also intelligent, and most people are perceptive enough to understand that. Sometimes the most brilliant people act goofy or foolish from time to time, which is a way both to preserve their innocent, carefree side and to remind themselves not to take everything too seriously. Some people even work to combat social anxiety by occasionally dressing in drag and acting fabulous (especially around the holidays—ahem)!

If you’re nervous when talking to someone, try asking the questions. Ask them about themselves, their day, their opinions, and their life in general. Odds are they’ll be more than happy to speak to you even if you’re not doing most of the talking! If we’re speaking with acquaintances or colleagues, we can remind them that we’re listening by nodding and saying “uh-huh” and other affirmatives, and we can communicate that we agree (or disagree) with what’s being spoken about. If it’s difficult to fully engage, it can be easy to insert short responsive sentences. We have to show people that they are being heard even if we have a lot on our mind; we can’t get lost in a cycle of anxious thoughts. Keep your mind focused on the task you’re doing or the conversation you’re having. By doing this, you won’t get too distracted by your thoughts or go off on a mental tangent.

Demonstrating Social Compassion

When we’re feeling nervous and discombobulated socially, we can remind ourselves that we are compassionate beings with a loving nature. Everybody has this capability. Those who are highly empathetic have a natural compassion, and though it can be thwarted from time to time, it is an aspect of our true nature that we can choose to come back to at any time. If our mind is racing in public, we can bring that energy back to our heart and radiate compassion. In addition to the methods of grounding and shielding discussed earlier, we can instantly dissolve heavy social stress simply by being compassionate to the plights of those around us. By removing our focus from our racing mind and placing it on compassionate social interactions, we are not sidestepping our own needs; we are maintaining a social balance that will let us more easily address our issues in the proper time and place. While it may be tempting to try comprehending the ins and outs of social anxiety while it’s occurring, it can serve us well to consider those things at a later time, in a less social environment where we’re able to process, reflect, and contemplate. By invoking our compassionate nature in public, we can quiet our inner monologue and more actively engage.

Lines in the Sand

As emotional people who were born with fewer boundaries than others, it’s our responsibility to take responsibility for our own actions, perceptions, and needs and to accurately (and verbally) set boundaries when necessary. The drawing of boundaries can be done with grace, compassion, and a smile. It’s okay to set limits! You don’t have to compromise your own perceptions or needs in an effort to appease others.

While intensely interacting with others, I suggest that the empath briefly think of a word like “grounded” or “protected” every minute or so. This mental reminder can bring a quick sense of awareness back to yourself when someone else’s energy seems accidentally invasive. This can help stave off the empathic tendency to emotionally absorb rather than experience, and is something that you need to practice only if you feel empathically overloaded in social situations.

To help turn down the empathic volume when you feel overloaded, try thinking about things that you like, things that make you an individual. Whether these are certain foods, films, music, activities, or whatnot, if you bring your focus to your own individual preferences, it helps you reestablish a link to your own mind. Our empathic instincts may tell us to quickly respond to whomever we’re interacting with, which is why we need to use a mental filter before responding. This process is instant: by considering what the other person is saying, we can respond with our own perspective instead of merely mirroring the other person’s. Even if we constantly feel the need to please, those whom we let into our sphere are likely to have more respect for us and feel more engaged with us if we utilize our own opinions and perspectives in conversation.

It’s easy to strive to avoid confrontation of any type because if the other person feels pain, you will also feel it. Making someone feel “on the spot” does the same; if someone is nervous, you’re likely to absorb it. Still, we have to practice setting boundaries gracefully in order to truly be ourselves and grow a thicker skin. Though empaths tend to avoid intense confrontation, it’s okay to have personal opinions and to make them known gracefully. It’s good to talk things out. It’s good to defend yourself when you need to, but be sure not to overreact; if an empath “loses their cool,” they’ll be the first to beat themselves up about it and obsess over what they could have done differently.

On the flip side, we can’t become a “walking set of boundaries.” As with all things, we need to find a balance between the extremes. Active and passive social energies can dance together in a graceful routine of interaction, but if we become obsessive about setting our boundaries and differentiating ourselves from others, we are actually doing a disservice to our empathic gifts.

Windows to the Soul

Eye contact is huge. So much body language in the course of communication is portrayed through eye contact. Some people feel more comfortable with this than others do. On an unconscious, spiritual level, the eyes are windows to the soul that can give us a glimpse of the other person that no other method can achieve. Subtle information is transmitted instantaneously when eyes meet. The sense of sight is a bridge to other levels of consciousness, and eye contact can be a deep experience, even in passing. The eyes can conduct a great deal of energy and intention—a lot can happen by intentionally projecting energy through eye contact. Eye contact is an important factor in human communication and in the magickal or metaphysical transmission of energy through intent. We must use our eyes wisely!

In normal situations it’s a good practice to use eye contact. By using eye contact, we are engaged with others and are confidently interacting with life. If we constantly avert our gaze and lack eye contact, this can give off body language that unconsciously marks oneself as “prey.” Because human predators do exist, we can’t allow a lack of eye contact to force us into a submissive role in society simply because we wish to avoid conflict and get through the day. We need to discern when to use eye contact and when to temporarily avoid it. The eyes can transmit great levels of compassion and trust.

I recommend maintaining eye contact through the course of conversation even if it feels intense. It is natural to look away at times while emotional contagion is occurring: if you look away for a second, the other person is likely to do the same, and vice versa. It is appropriate to glance away from a person when an idea that’s being discussed is being mulled over in the mind. Eye contact is a type of personal projection, and coupled with a smile and a lighthearted demeanor, it can help sustain constructive and positive communication. For comfortable interactions to occur, eye contact should be maintained throughout normal conversation about 80 to 90 percent of the time. For some, it takes a while to get to this level of ease—but what is there to lose? Again with the whole balance thing: too little eye contact can seem evasive and strange, and too much eye contact can seem intimidating or uncomfortable. It’s up to us to discern the other person’s level of comfort and to find our balance in each conversational exchange.

If eye contact simply becomes too overwhelming in conversation, there are a few temporary methods that can help ease the empath’s social discomfort. These healing techniques can be helpful now and then, but too much reliance on them can turn them into distancing mechanisms.

It’s interesting to experiment with looking at a person’s third eye, or ajna chakra. Try this with a friend; odds are they won’t be able to tell that you’re looking between their eyebrows or at the bridge of their nose. It can also help to very slightly cross the eyes, causing vision to blur. If you’re having an emotionally intense conversation on the phone, simply hold the phone an inch or two away from the ear to make the auditory and vocal exchange less intense. If you’re experiencing an emotional exchange on the computer, strive to look away from the screen and practice grounding techniques. (It is also beneficial to ask yourself if you really want or need to be having that debate online—usually it’s just not worth the effort.)

In addition to occasionally breaking or modifying eye contact, remember to take deep breaths and establish your personal energies. Change your body language by crossing your legs, folding your hands in front of you, or turning your shoulders; this can momentarily break some of the empathetic link. You may even choose to wear a cap or hat to cover the sahasrara and ajna chakras (crown and third eye chakras).

The eyes themselves can be covered in desperate situations. Sunglasses can put a physical and metaphysical barrier between oneself and others, temporarily making communication occur at a more distanced level. Colored contact lenses have a similar effect because they block the direct link of eye-to-eye contact. If I’m on my way to an artistic party, festival, or gathering and I feel socially uncomfortable or energetically weak, I will sometimes wear funky contacts or will use prosthetic glue to affix a veil across my eyes. (As an aside, individuals with visual impairments have long been regarded as having increased psychic abilities and intuitive gifts.)

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and still need to communicate, keep in mind that there are various ways to communicate with other people, such as the phone, email, texting, and handwriting. In whatever way communication becomes modified, we are in fact social creatures and will always have to communicate face to face with other people—it’s part of who we are as a species. By using some of these temporary methods, we can train our minds to become more socially at ease.

The demon of greed wants endless money and power and will stop at nothing to achieve this. Whatever your job or occupation, choose to inspire interpersonal empathy, kindness, and generosity at all costs, helping change the system for the common good and working from the inside out in every way you are able.

Confronting Confrontations

In Voltaire’s 1759 epic French satire Candide, the protagonist learns the danger of naïveté through various trials that take advantage of his sheltered optimism. This book exemplifies a life lesson in the form of tragic humor: not everyone is a good person, and naïve optimism will be exploited! By utilizing empathy without discernment or rational processing, the book’s protagonist is subjugated to a series of wicked chicaneries—let’s not aim to mirror his shortcomings! As loving as we can be, not everyone will have our best intentions at heart, and we ain’t gonna vibe with everyone we meet. Deal with it! We have to protect ourselves, use discretion, and look closely at people’s intentions. Emotional discernment and discretion can save the empath from social coercion, controlling personalities, and all types of abusive relationships.

Please beware of conversational narcissists: those individuals who turn every conversation into a discussion about themselves. These self-aggrandizing individuals are quick to be drawn to empaths because they can tell that the empath actually cares about their thoughts, opinions, and experiences, even if this care is not reciprocated. Empaths can tell if a person is disinterested in what they have to say, even if the other person is dropping “uh-huhs” in all the right places. In reality, conversational narcissists are emotionally dangerous and are best interacted with on a minimal basis unless it becomes apparent that they truly wish to change—and by change I refer to the development of genuine empathy.

Empaths are at risk of putting themselves in challenging positions socially. The inner need to help and heal other people can become a hindrance if overly negative or overly dramatic people are in one’s sphere. Empaths are some of the first people to forgive violating behavior; forgiveness can be a great virtue if the situation warrants it. For example, someone can apologize, become aware of their negative behavior, and actually make choices to ensure their self-improvement—this may be a situation where forgiveness is relevant. Others will apologize as a method of manipulation so they can continue to exploit those who they feel are weaker—these types of people are beyond your ability to help and should seek professional treatment. In other cases, a person may be genuinely aware of their negative behavior and have the desire to change it, but they may not have the tools, methods, or education required to create that positive change. In this case, a safe distance between oneself and the other may be kept while they pursue new skills and outside assistance. Every situation is different and there is no simple answer; we must discover our own abilities of discretion and choose to live our lives from a place of both kindness and self-respect.

By demonstrating empathy, we are doing good work despite the negativity in the world. Even if we disagree with a person we’re communicating with, it’s a good practice to exercise compassion and humility regardless. This is especially true when speaking to elders. Because nothing is black or white, it’s possible to disagree or have an encounter with negativity while simultaneously exercising love.

Important Note: The information presented here is only relevant to situations where mutual safety is in place. In the case of physical or psychological abuse, please seek legal and therapeutic help immediately.

In the face of conflict and arguing, it’s a good idea to shift your body so it’s not perfectly facing the person. Take full, deep breaths while maintaining your composure. You may choose to reduce eye contact in favor of making only intentional eye contact paired with statements of mediation and amicability. When communicating and responding during a negative situation, it is good to look at the other person when transmitting your amicable messages, even if the negative situation causes you to sustain less eye contact than usual. Do not eliminate eye contact altogether even if it’s tempting. During the moments when your eyes are not making contact, let yourself go into your rational mind rather than being overloaded by what the other person is projecting. Still, don’t allow yourself to become too distanced or it might seem downright rude! Keep your kindness and keep your cool. Communicate with compassion; use statements of emotion (“I feel”) and verbally review what was said in order to ensure that both parties are on the same page and to avoid misunderstandings. Try to discover the real issue without being accusatory. Set boundaries respectfully while considering ways in which you can both compromise or agree to disagree. Consider the underlying emotions. Look for the beauty and innocence deep within the other person instead of getting caught up in their anger or your defensiveness. Do not empathically disengage, because it can fuel the conflict. Seek conflict resolution even if it’s a challenge in the moment. This is especially pertinent when arguing with friends or loved ones.

Try walking in the other person’s shoes and examine their actual intentions: use your empathy to aid in finding a resolution. This will encourage the other person to do the same. The point is to find your own voice and then communicate it in return rather than completely absorbing the other person’s vibrations. Situations of conflict can be turned into constructive situations if we are mindful of our body language and the words we use. If we can hold our own instead of absorbing the other person’s emotions, we can more swiftly help lead the conversation into a place of resolution. If you wish, smudge yourself or perform other grounding and centering exercises after any sort of conflict so as not to continue to carry those energies.

The truth is that all you can do sometimes is work on yourself. Let’s say that someone approaches you and is experiencing anger and agitation. These are likely secondary emotions, with feelings of discontent, injustice, or sadness beneath them—but for the moment, let’s focus on the projected feelings at hand. Let’s say this agitation is directed toward you, the empath, because the person believes that you did something that has upset them. Regardless of whether you did what they are accusing you of, and with all details aside, let’s focus on the immediate emotional exchange. This person is confronting you, placing difficult emotional energy immediately into your sphere—this isn’t necessarily their intention, but it’s how the empath absorbs the emotional energy. Confrontations can occur very quickly and can put a highly empathic person in a state of confusion because emotional and mental processing is forced to occur simultaneously so that the occurrence can be discussed and resolved.

Using this example, your heart starts racing because you absorb the emotional exchange (not necessarily because you’re guilty but because you’re present). This increase in heart rate is an experience of countercontagion, meaning that you are responding with anxiety as a result of absorbing their anger. You may not feel angry yourself immediately because you have already and instantly alchemized the emotion from anger (their emotion, which you quickly absorbed) into fear or anxiety (which is actually your own counter-emotional response). Instead of sitting with the anxiety and allowing it to take over, the empath must take the additional step of consciously transmuting the energy. This quick emotional processing occurs simultaneously alongside your own mental processing, body language, and spoken words. In this case, your anxiety should be momentarily reversed back into anger, which is what the other person is experiencing, and then transformed into gentle compassion.

If this backtracked anger is not immediately transformed into gentle compassion, the empath will hold on to the anger and will inadvertently add to the negative exchange. If the empath becomes angry and defensive because the other person is feeling angry and defensive, the final step of the empathic exchange has not occurred, which is compassionate response. During this exchange, the empath must set aside the need to immediately defend themselves, which may in fact be the most difficult part of the process. However, once the emotional energy enters a state of transformation, discussing the issue constructively can easily ensue. Issues with others can be resolved more easily if the empath chooses to transmute the challenging energy into a compassionate response. It’s a slippery slope, so it’s good to practice this instant emotional conversion privately in case a situation like this arises in your experience. It might sound tricky, but it’s actually quite easy to do once you realize that you have the capability of instantaneously transforming social energy, even if you don’t feel at your best in the moment. The empath does not merely need to be emotionally affected but can be emotionally affective in these scenarios.

To practice, imagine that the experience I mentioned is occurring right now, this very moment: someone is confronting you with anger, so anxiety takes over. Imagine your anxiety instantly shifting back into anger (the original emotion). Furrow your brow and then take a breath to quickly release it. Project your energy, instead of merely absorbing it, while you consciously allow yourself to emanate loving-kindness, even if your instinct is to respond with defensiveness or to continue feeling anxiety. When this occurs, it can allow the other person to respond with the same because of their own empathetic capacity. Depending on the person, quickly performing this transformation may be all it takes to entirely shift the energy of a situation, turning a difficult confrontation into a civil conversation. At other times, you may instead find yourself needing to perform this emotional conversion over and over again, depending on how much anger the confronter is projecting.

When working empathically with those who are experiencing anger, remember that anger is a secondary emotion that masks sadness or fear. At times, some amount of anger can be a healthy emotion that psychologically signifies the need for change in any given situation. What can be changed? Immediate solutions are not always necessary or even feasible.

In Christel Broederlow’s online Empath Reports 101 (which can be found at www.slideshare.net/ChristelBroederlow1/the-empath-reports -101), she suggests that empaths should become aware of themselves after a heated argument or an intense emotional exchange. To do this, she suggests that the empath “rewind” their emotional state to how it was before the negative exchange took place. This ensures that the feelings the empath now experiences belong to the empath and are not merely residuals of the other(s) involved.

Everyone has different triggers for stress, and everyone has different anger responses. The empowered empath must make a concerted effort to understand these triggers not only in themselves but also in all of their relations. As a general rule, asking the abrupt question “why?” can be dangerous to someone who is feeling upset or emotionally frazzled; it can actually encourage a greater stress reaction and a feeling of being put on the spot. Deescalate the situation with an acknowledgment of understanding (“I hear you saying this …”) and sympathy (“I understand why you feel this way …”). Pleasantly convey your feelings even if stress is directed toward you. Everyone is entitled to their emotions. Show the person love and respect even if you feel they are overreacting.

When working with others who are fit to be tied, make an effort to be a good listener by paraphrasing and repeating what you hear them saying. Repeat back to them, in short, the things they are communicating with you and how you interpret them. This not only ensures the listener’s accuracy but also reminds the other party that they are indeed being heard. Along similar lines, if you catch your mind wandering during a conversation, draw your attention quickly back to the present moment. These points about empathetic communication are particularly significant for those readers who have roles as teachers, educators, clergy, or public figures or those who are in a leadership or managerial position in any capacity.

Stress creates difficulty in communication, in reasoning skills, and in forming accurate conclusions. Even the most simple thought or action can become an imbalanced overreaction if the person is worked up. Why does the stress cycle elevate like this? Because the person is looking for a solution: they are looking for empathy and validation, and stress is a sign that something must be changed.

When to Help?

We are given the unique challenge to be open, sharing, and loving while still maintaining our own walls of personal protection, safety, and self-awareness. We are not responsible for healing and helping everyone, but we are responsible for healing and helping ourselves. In some situations, this requires a taking of space or a cutting of ties. I urge you to be aware of the times when social situations can be healed and worked with versus situations that are more like dead-ends. If your heart and intuition tell you that distance needs to be taken or ties need to be cut, this can happen amicably and maturely. We must value our own integrity, intelligence, and self-worth.

Socially, we must be mindful in the face of conflict, knowing when it’s good to seek resolution with someone and when to turn the page. Not everyone with whom we must break ties is a bad person. Sometimes people need a bit of space, whether temporary or permanent. Sometimes we just have personality conflicts and are walking different roads in life. There’s nothing wrong with this; sometimes people grow apart, even if ties were once very close. Whatever the case, we should look for paths that benefit everyone involved.

When it comes to social interactions in general, remember that not everybody wants your help. It would be inappropriate to offer help or perspective if it’s clearly unsolicited, even if you have the best of intentions. Emotions and deeper internal feelings translate to “danger zone” for some people, and while instantaneous emotional readings can be accurately performed by the empath, it’s still inappropriate to emotionally probe someone who clearly doesn’t want it. It’s not personal. We need to share our perspectives when they are solicited, not poke and prod people’s emotional bodies when it clearly makes them uncomfortable. Some people have erected emotional barriers for a reason, and it’s our responsibility to respect that!

If you enjoy going to clubs, parties, concerts, sporting events, or other types of social gatherings occasionally, it is especially important not to give unasked-for advice unless you feel it’s an emergency or could help avert a disaster. This is especially important if alcohol is involved! It’s far more ethical to give someone your contact info and a smile rather than a spontaneous psychic/empathetic reading without their express permission.

Empaths naturally struggle to accept the fact that not every issue, conflict, question, or dilemma can be resolved. One strong empathic lesson is to come to terms with the reality that not everything has an attainable resolution or concrete answer, especially in the immediate sense. If the resolution or closure of an issue is truly out of one’s own hands, nothing more can be done and that’s just how it’ll have to be. Not every issue, conflict, or misunderstanding can be resolved; sometimes the best choice is to move on. Moving on …

Ground Control

Personally, I have long held a fear of losing control, and this may be rooted in the bad acid trip I recounted earlier. Empaths can also become overwhelmed when someone nearby has lost control of their behavior, whether from drink, drugs, or a psychological snap. This is not meant as an insult, but is an empathetic factor that should be taken into consideration. It can be frustrating to attempt communication with someone who is not entirely “in their body” or with someone who is not entirely emotionally aware, and it can be frustrating to other people to communicate with us if we are somehow not present in the moment. Why? Because there is no guarantee that an empathic exchange is occurring, especially in the case where one cannot sense the true emotion of the person they’re communicating with.

It’s unwise for the empath to continue attempting empathic bonding or connection with a person who is imbalanced in a dangerous sense or someone who is going through a cycle of threatening behavior. However, if a person is not entirely in their body yet is not exhibiting dangerous or threatening behavior, this can be a good opportunity to interact with new energies and perceptions. Great spiritual lessons can be learned from those who are in an altered, yet safe, state of consciousness. If both you and the other person are in fact in a safe situation, we can be attentive empaths by listening instead of judging, loving instead of fearing, helping instead of hindering. Let these interactions be much-needed lessons in trust, patience, and boundaries!

If someone is not in control of themselves for some reason, think about ways you can help. In addition to being a good friend or listener, you might find that they require some outside assistance. You may need to do some research into methods that can help the individual, and you may need to check in with them regularly via phone and drop-ins. Medical professionals exist in all varieties and are there to help. We have to help each other discover healing. Sometimes the best healing we can offer is to demonstrate heartfelt compassion and help guide someone toward a professional or a program that can inspire lifelong wellness.

Modes of Communication

Human interaction is tough. Deep-feeling individuals such as empaths have a responsibility to get a handle on human interaction instead of only avoiding it. But sometimes it’s good to mix it up, and sometimes it’s good to take a bit of personal space.

For the empath, communication from a distance can feel safer. Why? Because other people’s energies are not as readily in our space when we are using a barrier to communicate. Even now as I type this book, I can feel myself empathically connecting to you, a future reader, but the distance of time and space allows me to more easily gather my thoughts and use cognitive thinking (words) to describe emotions and emotional experiences. (I suppose it also helps that it’s a peaceful rainy day, piano music is playing in the background, and a cozy cat is snuggling my research books.)

An electrical screen of any sort can provide a safe distance between oneself and others. A screen or telephone draws an energetic boundary between two parties, which breaks down a great deal of the full communication spectrum. For the empath, the risk of “energetic violation” is reduced when there’s a wall between you and another. But we absolutely cannot get attached to these means of communication as a substitute for real, face-to-face human interaction. It’s dangerous to get caught in these modes of communication as safety nets because these energetic and emotional exchanges are only partial.

Remote communication has its time and place, especially for the sake of convenience. Also, if someone is feeling emotionally overwhelmed, a bit of safe distance can be quite beneficial in small doses. When an emotionally sensitive person is feeling particularly depressed or reclusive or has been lacking in human contact for an extended period of time, phone conversations can be an ideal way to ease back into social interaction and help them gain enough confidence to counter agoraphobia. On the phone, an empathic person might feel more safe and protected because there is no eye contact or use of body language between the two individuals. This can allow the empath to suspend their awareness of body language and give their undivided attention to the conversation.

Conversations over Skype, FaceTime, and other webcam programs have the potential to open the communication barrier significantly, allowing the individuals to interact on a number of different levels without being in each other’s immediate presence. This style of communication is more true to real-life communication but still provides an energetic barrier.

When it comes to emailing, virtual chatting, and texting, very little empathic exchange occurs because only a tiny amount of communication is being utilized (the written word). It’s easy to hide behind the computer because it’s a less controlled or intimidating setting: a person is completely on their own, left to their own seemingly inconsequential devices. This, of course, has provided an outlet for extreme bullying, cowardly slander, and criminal activity. This is also the reason we often see behaviors on Internet forums that are terribly crude, frank, and vulgar—these people can hide behind a wall of anonymity and don’t feel the immediate emotional repercussions that in-person dialogue allows. While it may seem that one’s Internet activity is without consequence, that notion is far from the truth, making it necessary to use eloquence and consideration when engaging in any online interaction. If you wouldn’t say it in person, don’t say it online.

Who Are Your Peers?

The process of repression and the bottling-up of emotions can be dangerous and isolating—this is not a skillful response to emotional sensitivity. While some empaths are socially withdrawn, others have large circles of friends and acquaintances. Yet even in the case of the latter, the empath is likely to have only a handful of really close friends and family. It’s essential for us to distinguish the individuals in our lives with whom we can share deeper levels of empathic exchange.

Empaths must have trustworthy people in their lives to emotionally process and talk with. It can be a life-shattering lesson to take a step back and see who actually empathizes with you versus those who want you to believe that they do. As we discover who we are, we discover our peers.

Peers come in the form of family, in spiritual communities, in organizations, in subcultures, in communities whose members share similar goals, and so on. If we surround ourselves with people who are empathetic, creative, and kind, we are likely to bring these qualities out in ourselves and continue to walk a path of progressive living.

As empaths, it’s especially important for us to remain peaceful around our peers and around people we’re close to because it’s easy to forget the necessity for equanimity around those whose presence we’ve grown accustomed to. On an unconscious level, remaining empathetic around people we’re close to somehow seems less consequential when, in actuality, it’s of the utmost importance. It’s easy for a person to have less empathic standards around friends, family, and those one sees on a regular basis. In reality, it’s not enough to exercise full empathy only with strangers, especially considering that those closest to us are people we want to keep close and not push away due to a lack of compassion. Empathy should be exercised whenever possible, and with anyone and everyone, whether familiar or unfamiliar. In a sense, everyone is your peer.

Everyone influences one another’s energy, so friends must be chosen wisely. You are who you hang out with. This discussion about friends and other personal relationships reminds me of a quote by the musical mystic Jim Morrison, who once said, “A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself—and especially to feel, or not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at any moment is fine with them. That’s what real love amounts to: letting a person be what he really is.” 20

I love Morrison’s quote and would additionally clarify that friends, lovers, family—anyone who shares an emotional bond with someone—has the duty of helping the other person evolve. Politely questioning ourselves and others can promote positive change. As fellow inhabitants of this earthly plane, we all have the sacred task of learning from each other and keeping one another in check. I believe that this sense of “mindful freedom” creates truly stable relationships.

IN PRACTICE
An Empathic Elixir Spell for Emotional Relief

Everyone who functions with a high level of empathy can relate to feeling overwhelmed and pushed out of their body if the stress level is high enough. It is our choice how we respond to challenging experiences as empaths. We can choose to constantly see our abilities as curses, viewing life as a series of maddening experiences that make us want to leave this world. We can also choose to pull ourselves out of the mental and emotional chaos—which does and will occur from time to time—by taking small steps on a daily basis that realign us with our beautiful and sacred gifts.

We have been given these challenges and gifts for a reason, and it’s up to us to summon strength and confidence from within. We must choose to actively help ourselves so we can utilize our abilities for their intended purpose. Little things like this spell and other activities presented in this book can help empaths help themselves.

Make your own magickal gemstone elixir spray by purchasing a small glass or plastic spray bottle; these are carried in most grocery stores. On a full moon, put a small piece of black tourmaline in the bottle and add a splash of witch hazel to entirely submerge the stone. Allow this to sit outside overnight, where it will be sure to soak up moonlight and sunlight. Next, add a few drops of lavender (or your favorite calming essential oil) to ease the mind, sage to purify the space, ylang-ylang to calm anxiety, or patchouli for grounding (and for your inner hippie), or use your olfactory intuition to concoct a creative blend of essential oils for the occasion. If it’s your practice to use Rescue Remedy, add a few drops of this Bach flower remedy to the mixture.

Finish by filling the bottle with purified water, well water, or spring water. Concentrate on the elixir and envision it as a rampart of protection, grounding, and equanimity. Vocally chant any words of power into the bottle that seem appropriate, and feel free to label the bottle with sigils and symbols appropriate to your intention. Make it your own.

Before you use this empathic auric spray, you may consider adding an additional step. Cut an onion in half and put a piece of obsidian or hematite in the center. Rub your body with the onion (you might want to shower afterward), visualizing excessive external energies entering the onion and stone, thereby leaving your sphere. When you feel a sense of relief, bury the onion and stone in a spot where they can return to nature. Conclude by shaking up your bottle and spritzing yourself with the elixir. Take big welcoming breaths of empathic relief, and be sure to note your experiences in your journal or Book of Shadows.

EMPATHIC CONTEMPLATION
Empathy to a Fault

Empathy is an invaluable asset in our daily lives. With every interaction, some level of empathy allows us to feel and validate the emotional experiences of others. The world is in desperate need of greater empathy in order to function in a more unified state of global consciousness.

However, relying on empathy alone is insufficient. In fact, there are times when empathy on its own can have terribly devastating effects when we’re trying to help others! Instead of providing objective assistance, relying on empathy alone can create more harm than good.

Take, for example, an empath who is on a pilgrimage to India—let’s call him Alex. While taking a walk to his destination of Mumbai’s gorgeous Shree Siddhivinayak Ganapati temple, Alex encounters a group of six young children begging. These children are pleading with our tourist friend; two of them show visible signs of abuse, one is missing a leg, and all appear dirty and malnourished. Half of them are weeping and wailing, and the others are frantically pleading for his help. Alex’s eyes well up with tears while witnessing the depths of suffering these children are experiencing. His empathic heartstrings are pulled, so he reaches for his wallet. At that moment he decides to split all of his money: he will keep half of his cash for travel expenses and give the other half to these children. By donating so much to those in need, Alex feels a sense of accomplishment. However, five minutes later, he is bombarded by a different group of beggar children—and then another. He flees to his hotel, overtaken by emotional distress.

Unbeknownst to Alex, all of these street children are actually kidnapped “forced beggars” who are part of a national human trafficking ring. Enslaved under the thumb of vicious adults, the children will not actually receive any of the money he’s just given them (they are forced to surrender it to their owners). As a result of his undiscerning empathy, Alex is helping enable a deeply corrupt cycle of impoverishment. By focusing on the few, he neglects the many.

However, if our friend were to couple his empathy with rational cognitive discernment, he would realize that the wisest option would be to instead donate his money to reputable relief organizations whose goal it is to help alleviate Indian poverty by promoting social justice and education. The empathic scenario I outline here can be applied to numerous situations and interactions.

As more and more individuals awaken their empathic sensibilities, it’s up to us already-developing empaths to help guide others in their choices. Instead of becoming empathically persuaded by anyone, especially in the realm of social and political justice, we can work to protect the empathic current by helping ensure that people’s heartfelt efforts can truly end up helping.

CHAPTER MEDITATION
A Deep-Cleansing Ritual Bath

In the occult tradition of which I am a part, we encourage ritualistic bathing in order to cleanse on many levels simultaneously. After experiencing challenging social interactions, empaths can click a reset button by allowing ample time to cleanse, clear, and rejuvenate. It doesn’t matter what the details are: if someone else was cruel, if you overreacted, if your guard was down, if it was a difficult phone call, if you wish you would have done something differently, if you absorbed someone’s vibes, if you exacerbated your own shadow side, or whatever. The point is that if you are feeling off-kilter due to a difficult or awkward social exchange, it’s necessary to calm the mind and cleanse the energy. When you’re feeling socially imbalanced and empathically overloaded, it’s time to get to work and look at the details later!

In addition to ideas I’ve mentioned earlier in the book, it can be nice to actually take some time just for the purpose of resetting yourself. The exercise here makes use of the bathtub. Empathy is ruled by the element of water, so immersing ourselves in a body of water can be immensely beneficial, especially if we intend it as such.

It’s ideal to stay in the tub for at least forty-five minutes. If you don’t have a bathtub, this can be modified as a shorter ceremony in a hot shower.

In the spirit of Hoodoo, add a can of beer, a cup of vinegar, and a handful of sea salt to the bathwater before stepping in. These ingredients energetically aid in releasing external energies that might have clung to your person and can help reset the psyche by creating an energetic tabula rasa (blank slate).

Additionally, find a disposable sachet drawstring bag or something similar to create a bath bag: basically an oversized herbal teabag for the bathtub. There are numerous ingredients that can be added to the sachet for the purpose of bathtime cleansing and realignment. All of the following ingredients have a history in folk magick of one variety or another for the purpose of cleansing external energies. In addition to any of these ingredients, use your intuition to decide what needs to be added to the bath bag. Your sachet may include hyssop, rue, eucalyptus, nettles, rowan, sage, angelica, anise seed, wahoo, and/or poplar buds (balm of Gilead). If you’re feeling angry, add some wormwood; if you’re feeling depressed, add some weeping willow bark and perhaps some healing stones. If you would like to really get the blood flowing and activate a detoxification process, add some yellow mustard powder (that stuff’s amazing in the bath—just don’t use too much!). If you have only one or two of these ingredients, that’s okay; fill the bag with other nontoxic herbs that are revered for their purifying properties.

As the tub fills up with water, allow the sachet to soak and infuse its energy throughout the bath before you step in. You may want to give it a few preliminary squeezes. Ensure that you won’t be disturbed during your bath, and make sure there is enough hot water to get it just the way you like. Turn off the lights, fire up some candles and incense, and maybe put on some gentle, melodic music if it helps you relax. Otherwise, silence can be beneficial. Do whatever it takes to get comfortable.

1. First, clean and sterilize the bathtub. Afterward, step into the tub and bring your focus to the cleansing work at hand. Forget the details of the social interaction that’s bothering you. If you start mentally replaying the day’s events, take a breath, come back to the present moment, and settle into a more deeply relaxed state. Bring your focus to your body and its energies. Bring attention to your breathing and slow your mind.

2. Because the mind is so prone to replaying and overthinking events, allow your first area of cleansing to be the head. Fully submerge yourself in the tub so that every inch of you has met the cleansing water. After doing this, sit up straight with the saturated sachet in hand and press it to the very top of your head. The sachet’s water should flow down your upper body and back. Say a simple affirmation, such as “I cleanse and rejuvenate my thoughts.” Visualize the mixture rinsing away energetic buildup, leaving each area energetically neutral. Each time you squeeze the bag on your body, give a loud, audible exhalation.

3. Squeeze the sachet on your throat, saying, “I cleanse and rejuvenate my speech.” Do this on your heart area, saying, “I cleanse and rejuvenate my compassion,” on the belly area, saying, “I cleanse and rejuvenate my self-identity,” and on the genital area, saying, “I cleanse and rejuvenate my connection to earth.” If you are familiar with the Hindu chakra system, you may wish to create an affirmation for each chakra, utilize Sanskrit mantras, make use of healing stones for the chakras, or otherwise work with those seven energy centers of the body.

4. Ensure that the major points of your body also get treated. Simply squeeze the bag on different areas of the body that you sense need cleansing, saying an affirmation with each squeeze. You can cleanse anywhere and everywhere you’d like. Pertinent points include the hands, feet, knees, elbows, hips, neck, shoulders, and any other area that is frequently in motion. Again, see the sachet’s water cleansing and releasing any energetic buildup, leaving each area of the body cleansed and refreshed.

5. Once you feel sufficiently cleansed, give the bag one final squeeze on your head and toss the bag outside of the bathtub (or straight into the trash bin if you’re a good shot). Sit for a moment in the water. Sense the energetic dynamics of the water: the cleansing ingredients are, in the moment, combating the dense energies you just released, much like white blood cells attack an infection. Look at the water and envision this interplay. Blur your vision and try some scrying: allow your mind to fall silent and see if you can make out any shapes in the water—do any messages appear? Take this time to receive visions and spiritual insights.

6. Submerge yourself one last time. When you feel the cleansing is complete, drain the bath but stay in the tub while the water whirls away. As the water drains away from your body, inch by inch, envision a soft hue emanating from your skin. Envision the water cleansing away the excess energy, leaving your aura cleansed and radiant. Smile and give thanks to the water for providing such cleansing.

7. Be sure not to towel-dry after the bath; instead, let the air dry you before putting on any clothing. You may also wish to journal or continue the meditation outdoors. Let the rest of your day be gentle and refreshing.

[contents]

19. Karla McLaren, The Art of Empathy (Boulder, CO: Sounds True, 2013), chapter 2.

20. Lizzie James, “Jim Morrison: Ten Years Gone,” Creem (1981), http://archives.waiting-forthe-sun.net/Pages/Interviews/JimInterviews/TenYearsGone.html.

CHAPTER VI

Empathy &
Magickal Work

“Confidence or an overwhelming positive certitude is required for occult practice to succeed. If we are mentally positive, but emotionally conflicted, then we will fail. Emotions win over ideas every time. It is necessary to build strong and positive emotional neural connections between the ideas we are presenting and the outcomes we desire. This can only be done when we allow ourselves to feel joyful and worthy of success.”

—Mark Stavish, Between the Gates

EMPATHIC ANECDOTE

Empathizing and Transmuting Painful Frequencies

For a long time it seemed to me that empathy was a one-way street. As all empaths can relate, there are times when it seems like a perpetual state of damnable sensitivity that can derail our emotional state without a moment’s notice. We know what it’s like to be overwhelmed by the pain of humankind’s cruelty, vapidity, and insensitivity. Through the methods mentioned in this book, I was able to pull myself out of that thought pattern and eventually understand the necessity and beauty of emotional absorption, even if there are times when it’s challenging to the core. Alongside the realization that I was not a victim, I slowly began to realize that empathy is intricately connected to magick and spirituality, and that empathy can be both absorptive and projective.

Empathy influences others constantly, daily, through every interaction. But, as magickal folk, we can also take this to a different level. I recall a small occurrence when I was thirty, around the time of my astrological Saturn Return, when I was having fun at a local waterpark with some friends. (You know how much empaths like water!) While I’m not the type of person to take many risks, aside from occasional hiking, camping, and the innertube-floating of rivers in the summer, I do love me some rollercoasters and waterslides.

After ascending the steps to reach the top of the waterslide, a sense of disorientation took over. It felt cold, stale, and cramped up there near the top. One misstep and a serious injury could occur. I felt trapped, but there was no legitimate reason to feel that way. Regardless, these sensations were present and required action to avoid a panic attack. So I quickly brought my mind to the realization that many beings are currently experiencing suffering throughout the world: animals trapped in cages, people behind bars, individuals feeling cold and disoriented, and so on. While all of these thoughts were uncomfortable, I was able to use my own slight discomfort to access the overarching emotional energy of individuals who were feeling a similar discomfort in different circumstances. My discomfort paled in comparison to other beings who were in a legitimate state of entrapment and confusion, but I thought that maybe I could lend them some quick energetic assistance.

To change my sensations into something positive, I summoned a surge of healing etheric light from my own heart center. I quickly envisioned this astral light bursting forth in a wave, dissolving my own discomfort and helping other beings who were on that frequency. All this visualization occurred in a matter of seconds and allowed my discomfort to cease while I energetically assisted people and animals in need, even just a little bit.

By invoking a slight state of discomfort in myself, I was able to access the frequency of beings experiencing greater states of suffering. I carried this realization into other scenarios, such as situations of social anxiety, physical pain, and emotional exhaustion.

I also carried this realization into the realm of hot yoga. Some yoga studios specialize in cranking the temperature to well over 100 degrees so those performing yoga can sweat out toxins and cleanse the body and psyche during the sessions. The first couple times I tried hot yoga, I nearly experienced panic attacks and fainting because of the intensity, so I decided to exercise extreme mental focus during the asanas (postures). In addition to performing silent mantras to Lord Ganesha and Lord Shiva, I opened my energy to tap into people and animals in the world who were experiencing a state of fear or suffering. By sending out a series of energetic healing blasts to those in need, I was successfully accessing and assisting those frequencies by having experienced a passing glimpse of discomfort myself.

By putting ourselves in slightly scary situations, we can utilize empathy as spiritual fuel to project strong currents of healing energies to those who are experiencing more extreme states of suffering. I have found these styles of empathic frequency-matching and energetic projection to be invaluable on my personal path of spiritual growth.

✴ ✴ ✴

Tools and Techniques for Esoteric Empaths

A powerful force to wield, empathy is a magickal tool that can be used for positive or negative purposes. True empathic magick works for the greater good because the very term implies comprehensive compassion. I would argue that it is only partial empathy—perhaps only sympathy—that manipulators utilize for personal gain.

To quote E. A. Koetting’s left-hand-path grimoire Baneful Magick, “When healing with energy, especially through what is often referred to in religion as the ‘laying on of hands,’ the healer will discover a deep empathy for the afflicted and in extreme cases will momentarily take on the disease which she is attempting to heal. When working in ritual to effect baneful magick, the magician will create a connection with the target which will allow him to see inside of the victim’s mind, deeper into her heart, and even to the deepest levels of her soul. It is through the hallways of this connection that the curse is sent and the will to murder or to power collapses the sustaining life-force of the victim.” 21

The ability to put oneself in another person’s shoes can be used for better or for worse, and this is one of our many abilities as spiritual individuals who are capable of affecting other people’s realities. As demonstrated in Koetting’s example, the ability to step into another person’s emotional reality can be used for creative or destructive purposes. As natural emotional healers, we strive to be aware of our abilities and utilize them for the progressive purposes we intend.

We can invoke the essence of any magickal intention we aim to achieve simply by attuning ourselves to those specific currents of energy. We can invoke, absorb, and project the energies we intend to harness. Empaths carry a unique VIP pass to emotional energies, so that’s the platform from which we can most successfully weave magickal intentions for ourselves, for others, and for the world.

The late and great magician Donald Michael Kraig once mentioned in a 2009 lecture at PantheaCon that it is possible to access any form of energy in the universe; this is part of our human potential. We can energetically and empathically align to any frequency in existence; all we have to do is tap into it and bring it in. In this manner, we can align to what we need anytime, and this includes emotional energies, other people’s experiences, the planetary bodies, and anything else we can think of.

In part because empaths approach spellcraft and magick from an emotional perspective, controlling our own lives and the energies around us is how we gain more stable footing to influence our surroundings. Projective empathy can be utilized when working prayer or magick on others, while internal emotional awareness can hone the spellcraft performed for ourselves. When intentional prayers are performed on or for another person, the practitioner must empathetically access that person’s emotional state. Emotion and cognition go hand in hand, so understanding someone’s emotions can lead to an understanding of the mind.

Because we are so sensitive to our surroundings, it’s good to take into consideration the seasonal and astrological conditions around us when we perform intentional magick. While I don’t have the space to provide in-depth astrological or seasonal information, many remarkable books exist on these subjects.

We may also take the weather into consideration when performing magick for certain purposes. Why not utilize a bright, sunny day for magickal or meditative work aimed at increasing happiness? Maybe a drizzly, cloudy day is ideal for releasing sadness or cleansing the emotional body.

Astrological sciences tell us that the moon represents our inner landscape, so perhaps a waning moon cycle will help us decrease emotional stress, while a waxing cycle will increase our desire for emotional fulfillment. New moons are great for divination and creative work, while full moons are best for casting manifestation spells and for invoking the cosmic light of reality. The very simple and natural fluctuations of nature aid the empath—and any magickal practitioner—in harnessing the vibrations around us at any given time.

Empathic Symbolism

Empaths can integrate symbols into their metaphysical work when specific purposes arise. Symbols can be carved into candles, inked onto spellbags, made into tattoos, drawn on the soil, crafted with salt or powder, sketched on paper, carved into wood, etched into talismans, and so on. There is no “right” way to utilize the magick of symbolism if you are an adaptive person with solid intuition, so get creative with your use of symbols!

The following are a few examples of magickal symbols that empaths can integrate in any manner. Perhaps the most important thing to mention is that, regardless of the medium through which a symbol is expressed, magicians must create a meditative state of consciousness and focus their intention into the symbol so it can be successfully enchanted with personal intention and spiritual strength. Only when a symbol has been emotionally and psychologically charged by the practitioner does it gain the astral strength necessary to have a lasting impact on the practitioner’s reality.

Anahata Chakra

The ancient Vedic symbol for the anahata chakra, or heart chakra, is composed of a twelve-petaled lotus flower. Within this is the shatkona yantra, a hexagram that symbolizes the union of Shiva and Shakti, the masculine and feminine polarities recognized in most branches of Hinduism. (This yantra is additionally associated with Lord Murugan, also called Kartikeya or Skanda, who is the younger brother of Lord Ganesha.) Anahata’s symbol also contains the Sanskrit letter or bija (seed syllable mantra) called Yam at its center. Thusly, chanting “Yam” (pronounced “yawm”) activates the heart and its associations with love, compassion, and empathy.

Double Heart and Eye

This symbol binds together two images: hearts and eyes. Indeed, “seeing from the heart” is the empath’s gift, and duplicating the symbolism in this overlay serves to link two parties together in empathetic vision. This is an excellent focal symbol for activities involving empathetic work between oneself and others.

Empathy Symbol

Created (or rather channeled) in 1973 by Deb Ellsworth while contemplating the anti-war movement, this wonderful image is gaining use in classrooms and other social/educational settings to teach the unifying power of empathy for all humankind. Deb’s goal is to get this empathy symbol as well known and as often used as the peace symbol, as she believes that empathy is the core basis upon which many other social values rest (harmony, love, compassion, and so on). In other words, use the symbol to your heart’s content! According to the homepage of the website www.empathysymbol.com, “The Empathy Symbol stands for 2 ‘sides’ reaching out to each other, and opening up to try to truly understand the other’s experiences and feelings.”

Sign of the Empath

The mathematical symbol phi, representing the golden ratio, is also the twenty-first letter of the Greek alphabet. This variation of the letter was utilized by empathic mystic Jad Alexander (see chapter I), who referred to the symbol as the universal “sign of the empath.” Jad linked the letter esoterically to his teaching of P.H.I., panheuristic intelligence, which is his interpretation of the empath’s multifaceted approach to engaging with the world. Here you can see the slashed phi represented symbolically as a simple circle. Jad utilized this symbolic version in his teachings about empathy and psychicism. In alternate versions, he replaced the slash’s two “stops” with arrows. (Similarly, a simple slashed-circle symbol, the Scandinavian vowel , is sometimes used in occultism to represent the magick circle of protection and is also used symbolically to denote the word ritual.)

Sei He Ki

Sei He Ki (pronounced “say-hay-key”) is a symbol used commonly in Reiki healing practices. The symbol has Japanese origins and is likely a modification of the bija (seed syllable mantra) Hrih (pronounced “hree”), which is used in many East Asian languages and is often used in Vajrayana Buddhism to represent the bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara and in Mahayana Buddhism to represent the celestial buddha Amitabha. Specifically, the symbol represents emotional and mental wellness. Reiki practitioners utilize the symbol, whether drawn or visualized, to channel mental and emotional healing energies. It is especially used to help alleviate depression, anxiety, and an overthinking mind. Because of its now-widespread usage, even merely looking at the symbol taps into its astral imprint (egregore), instantly helping influence a process of emotional balance. Who couldn’t use a bit of that?

Inguz

The symbolic system of the runes, which is vast in its history and variations, is an early Norse system of writing and communication used before the introduction of Latin. The Elder Futhark (or Germanic Futhark) is the oldest system, while the Anglo-Saxon runes and Younger Futhark are later variations. Within these ancient and rich symbolic systems we encounter the twenty-second runic “letter” called Inguz (or Ingwaz), which corresponds to the sound “ng.” Inguz can be drawn either as a diamond/box or with the addition of four lines (see images). The diamond symbolizes the inner fire, while the lines denote this energy expanding. Ideal for empaths, Inguz represents the storing, transforming, and coming together of opposite energies. This symbol represents the unity of the seed and the womb, gestating to create a perfect creative force. Much like the heart of the empath, this rune is symbolic of the safe and protected space in which all energies can harmoniously, peacefully, and lovingly meet on common ground.

Chalice Well

In Somerset, England, we find the mythical, ancient, and legendary Chalice Well, also called the Red Spring. The well is located at the base of Glastonbury Tor (a large hill with St. Michael’s Tower at its peak). Both the Chalice Well and Glastonbury Tor are linked to the Arthurian legends and are often regarded as embodiments of feminine and masculine polarities. For these reasons and many more, Glastonbury is also called Avalon and is a healing epicenter for esoterically minded individuals. The symbol you see here is the same image that graces the well’s cover or lid. Designed in the nineteenth century by Bligh Bond, this symbol for the Chalice Well displays the sword Excalibur in the middle as represented by a straight line. The divine feminine is represented in the form of the vesica piscis, a sacred geometric symbol of creation used in both early European and later Christian iconography (this relates to the Pisces/fish association with Jesus). The coming together of two spheres and its resulting almondlike shape represents two energies merging to create a third. For empaths, the watery association of the Chalice Well is emotionally relevant, as is the perfect intersection of two separate energies.

Mirror

The mirror is a unique and mystical item that has been prized across the vast expanse of human history. Reminiscent of a serene body of water, mirrors reflect images without judgment. As metaphysical mirrors ourselves, empaths have the ability to reflect other people’s emotional realities. The mirror is additionally a symbol of protection (deflection) and psychicism (divination, as with the black scrying mirror). For more information about the magickal symbolism of the mirror, see the book The Witch’s Mirror by the illustrious Mickie Mueller.

Water Yod

The beautiful Water Yod symbol is one of the many images found in the training material for the Opus Aima Obscuræ Temple. Its symbolism is triplicate: On the outer edge we find a circle, a symbol for the perfect and infinite nature of the cosmos and our lives here on earth. Inside that we find an inverted triangle, which is both an alchemical symbol for water and an initiatory symbol used in many Gardnerian-influenced schools of Witchcraft. In the center we find the Hebrew letter Yod. On an esoteric level, Yod symbolizes the sacred flame, which is made evident by its similar appearance to the flame of a candle. Yod also corresponds to the human hand and is metaphysically related to the astrological sign Virgo and the Hermit card (Trump IX) of the Tarot. The Water Yod symbol relates to the spark of life in the womb and also to the force of evolution in the sense that life on earth began from consciousness emerging from the primordial waters. Much like the Hermit card itself, this is a symbol of hope and rebirth within the darkness of emotional gestation. This symbol is ideal for empaths who need to reconnect emotionally to their creative, compassionate, and spiritual nature and for those who require the light of hope to illuminate their path during times of need.

Alchemical Copper

An ancient alchemical symbol for the metal copper is the symbol for the planet of love, Venus (), which is aligned with the metal itself. The other alchemical symbol for copper, shown here, is another representation for the same metal. Copper has a very high capacity for electrical conduction, which is why we see copper wires utilized so widely in electrical engineering. Metaphysically, copper conducts unseen energies in a similar manner, which is why we see the material utilized in spells and magickal workings with such prevalence. (As a matter of fact, I keep small pieces of copper in my magickal toolbox so that I can throw them in sachets and spells of all varieties.) Much like copper, we empaths are conductors, which is why utilizing copper and its associated symbolism is relevant to our purposes. Merely drawing the alchemical symbol for copper can amplify a magickal current harnessed within spellcrafting and visualization. Also, projecting energy into this symbol and/or into the metal copper can help us conduct emotional energy through the body so it doesn’t become stuck in our own sphere.

Hand Spiral

The beautiful hand spiral symbol is an outline of the right hand (the projective hand) coupled with a spiral flowing deosil (clockwise). The meaning of this symbol is quite straightforward: as empaths, we are natural healers capable not only of receiving emotional energy but also of projecting emotional energy, as we have explored throughout this book. This symbol is especially useful for empaths who experience an overload of emotional absorption and who are working on their powers of empathetic projection.

Protection Symbol for Empaths

This is a symbol I designed for the purpose of energetic protection, both empathic and psychic. Somewhat reminiscent of a Pennsylvania Deutsch hex sign, this multifaceted symbol can be used to bring awareness and clarity to whoever draws or bears the symbol, which is due to the anti-evil-eye imagery at its center. Arrows point in four directions, while outward-facing pentagrams provide a balance. Arrows and pentagrams are symbols of energetic protection and projection, both of which are relevant to emotional conduits such as ourselves. The circle and square portrayed in the symbol secure it as one of holistic protection. If you feel any sort of negative energetic attack or malicious emotional overload, whether intentional or unintentional, you may use this symbol whenever and however you need. Just be sure not to overuse this symbol, because it has the potential to cause paranoia and isolation if utilized nonchalantly.

Quintupled X

Finally, the quintupled X is an excellent symbol for empaths because it represents the defining of boundaries. In general, X is a symbol of “nope, don’t go there,” so repeating the symbol fivefold adds an additional dimension of five, much like in the sacred pentagram. Use this symbol to protect yourself against emotional overload from external sources. However, if you choose to draw this symbol on your body, ensure that you do so only after you have properly cleansed and purified yourself and are in a good state of mind; otherwise, you may be at risk of trapping external energy inside your own energetic field. In other words, this symbol is best used as a preventative measure.

Tools of the Trade

Metaphysically, the use of certain stones, herbs, and other materials can be greatly beneficial in protecting oneself against empathic overload and for processing emotional energy in general. The history of using these materials for this purpose comes from folklore, rural magick, indigenous cultures, and modern metaphysics.

Any of the following types of ingredients can be used as meditative tools or assimilated into a sachet bag charm, an herbal bath mix, a ritualistic spell, or a magickal floor wash, in addition to many other usages. These tools are specifically beneficial for empaths—read on and you will discover why!

It can also be beneficial to carry an item with you that serves as an energetic anchor: something into which you can channel excessive energy when you feel overwhelmed. Ideas include a special stone, a piece of jewelry, or even a body piercing because it’s a physical object. For example, I wear hematite balls in some of my earrings, which helps me with daily grounding and focus. One of my early spiritual mentors even taught me how to make a leather Velcro bracelet or armband for the purpose of anchoring: I chose a few small, flat, polished grounding stones and glued them inside the bracelet so they were touching the skin, to aid in daily grounding—this was especially helpful to me as an overthinking, overzealous, and overdramatic teenager.

An empathic word of advice: I suggest that you do not carry “high vibration” stones in public, especially moldavite (which is a mineral that was likely produced from a meteor impact). Kyanite and selenite also have a very high-vibrational frequency and can be difficult for empaths to carry regularly. But don’t take my word for it and don’t buy into superstition or folklore just because someone said it: try it out yourself and see how your energy meshes with various stones and objects.

When it comes to gems and minerals, please be mindful of their source. Some stones are harvested through ecologically damaging chemical mining operations, while others are extracted without harming the source. As with all purchases, let us be mindful of the industries we support and the effects these purchases have on the environment, animals, and our fellow humans.

If you feel that you are a particularly strong empath, contemplate whether you tend to express or repress strong emotions that you may experience at any given time. Should an emotion you feel in a momentary experience be expressed to others, or should it be saved for processing at a later time? Alternatively, can you find a balance by combining these two forms of response?

Amber and Jet: These are two fascinating substances that have been used in magickal work for many years (see chapter VI for a spell involving these items). The energetic balance of amber and jet is renowned in Wicca and other magickal paths. Representing divine polarity (light and dark, day and night, masculine and feminine, death and rebirth), both amber and jet have been used historically for a wide array of talismanic and decorative purposes. Some Witches I know like to wear necklaces of alternating amber and jet beads for ritual invocations or to help keep them in a sacred frame of mind throughout the day. Some training covens gift an amber and jet strand to new Priests and Priestesses upon their third degree initiation, especially in Gardnerian and Alexandrian traditions. Also, empaths can carry a piece of jet on its own to keep extra energy at a distance and deal with difficult social situations should they arise. One may also carry an individual piece of amber to invoke confidence and emotional protection.

Amethyst: As one of the most popular and widely used gemstones, amethyst has a deep violet color that hints at its properties of healing, calming, and emotional wellness. It is used for magick centered on energetic protection, beauty, and the channeling of mystical wisdom. Amethyst is renowned as a stone of deep and genuine love, which is, of course, the source from which all empathy is activated. The stone can also be used in spells when you feel emotionally imbalanced: use all your focus to pour your negative energy into the stone so it can become transformed. Cast the stone into moving water to bind the magick.

Bloodstone: A striking green chalcedony with red flecks, bloodstone is said to promote courage and rational discernment and to alleviate anger. Historically, it has been worn to increase physical strength, to encourage wealth, and to calm fear, the latter of which is especially valuable for empaths.

Carnelian: This stone is a red form of chalcedony that is used to dispel depression and alleviate anger. By energetically working against one’s darker emotions, carnelian is said to promote the vibrations of peace and harmony in the wearer. Additionally relevant to empaths is the stone’s ability to promote courage and self-assurance; therefore, carnelian can be invaluable in any situation that could produce social anxiety or imbalance.

Chicken Feathers, Black: An important component of Hoodoo magick, black chicken feathers are used to “brush off” external negative energies, such as those that have accumulated from the evil eye (a cross-cultural term for the “wicked, covetous gaze”) and from curses, hexes, jinxes, and any harmful tricks that have been laid. By brushing the body and aura with black chicken feathers—especially black hen feathers—a person is said to invoke energetic cleanliness and purification. The feathers should then be burned after this type of undertaking.

Chrysoprase: This stone is a green form of chalcedony used as a shield against negativity. Energetically protecting empaths from overwhelming external energies, chrysoprase additionally promotes eloquence, friendship, and amicability. This stone encourages cheerfulness while simultaneously banishing tension, stress, and negative thinking.

Cinquefoil: Another popular component of Hoodoo and other traditions rooted in old folk magick, cinquefoil is also called five-finger grass because its leaves are divided into five finger-like segments. According to folklore, these five segments represent the properties love, luck (or health), wealth, power, and wisdom. The herb is used in uncrossing (hex-breaking), cleansing, and purification baths and for protection, eloquence, and luck in gambling. Its protective qualities are especially beneficial for empaths.

Citrine: Citrine is a beautiful golden variety of quartz said to have no energetically absorptive ability whatsoever. For us empaths, wearing or carrying a stone such as citrine can help us to not absorb so many vibes from the outside world. Being entirely projective in nature, citrine is also an excellent stone for confidence because of its association with the solar plexus (manipura chakra). Citrine is also used for gaining emotional control and is highly favored by empaths because of its ability to shield, protect, and energetically project.

Copper: Copper is a metal that has long been renowned as a conductor, in terms of both electrical energy and astral energy. Because empaths are energetic conductors, copper can be put in spellbags, placed under statues of deities, or otherwise creatively utilized in empathic spellcraft—especially if the magick is focused on emotional energy. One can even use a copper pipe or wire as a magick wand!

Fluorite: Found in a variety of colors, fluorite is a popular stone used to calm overactive emotions and regain emotional balance. Since fluorite acts as an emotional stabilizer, empaths can find an increased ability to concentrate and an increased sense of mental balance.

Garnet: This is a beautiful red stone used to repel negativity and excessive energies from the outside world. Garnet is said to create a powerful sphere of protection around the wearer and is said to be a fantastic energizer that strengthens magickal intention. Useful to empaths, garnet can dispel numerous forms of negativity while allowing the individual self to shine forth.

Hematite: This is a gorgeous heavy, silvery-black stone used for grounding one’s energy. Empaths frequently need to ground their energies, so utilizing hematite in different ways can be extremely beneficial. Personally, I like to put hematite in a glass of water and then, after it has sat for a while, drink the water (after removing the stone) to encourage its grounding and stabilizing effects. Some practitioners also like to channel their negative energies into hematite before casting the stone into moving water (or burying the stone), but I believe other black stones are better suited to this purpose.

High John the Conqueror Root: One of the most widely used components of Hoodoo conjure and rootworking, High John the Conqueror Root (also called jalap) carries an energy of strength, confidence, luck, personal power, wealth, and all-around inner strength! High John is used for personal mastery in any situation, making it an awesome item for empaths to utilize—and gods know we need to invoke more confidence and self-assurance. A common substitute for High John is European John the Conqueror Root, also called scammony, a type of morning glory. Another substitute is galangal root, also called Low John the Conqueror, and a less common substitute is ginger root.

Iron: Iron has an immense history in magick as an extremely protective metal. Everything from demons to faeries are said to be repelled by iron’s dense energy. Empaths can use iron as a focal metal when feeling extremely overwhelmed by external emotional energy, though I don’t recommend using it as a long-term solution but only as the need arises. Iron’s energy is extremely dense and solid, so let’s aim to use it only when necessary. I also advise against carrying rusted iron. Rust is the oxidized form of iron and carries the great strength of Mars. Some empaths, especially those who are naturally sensitive to the mineral kingdom, can feel aggression or anger arise from merely touching rust.

Jasper, Green: Jasper is an opaque type of chalcedony that comes in numerous colors. Green jasper, in particular, can be used for emotional disturbances. Because of this, green jasper is an ideal stone for empaths to use when feeling emotionally overwhelmed, not least because both empathy and sympathy are required to function in a balanced state.

Moonstone: As we have explored, emotionally driven individuals have a unique connection to the moon. Because it is the stone most prominently connected to lunar energies, moonstone can be used to promote one’s connection to the lunar cycle and amplify any magick or prayers to lunar deities. Moonstone additionally promotes tranquility, healing, and restful rejuvenation.

Obsidian: A favored stone for carved jewelry, obsidian is a mineraloid rather than a true mineral (it’s not crystalline in structure). Black obsidian, in particular, helps repel negative energy and lends grounding to the wearer. Relevant to empaths, obsidian protects against emotional drainage and can also be used during any ritual or visualized intention that centers on emotional transformation.

Onion: Onions are great tools of protective and cleansing magickal work. Onion is said to absorb excess energies, so you can place fresh, sliced onions by the bedside when sleeping or you can rub onion juice all over the body to cleanse and process repressed emotions—and to smell a bit funky. The next time you’re cooking a tasty dish (like curry), cut an onion and let your tears rise from the chemical reaction that ensues. When the resulting tears swell, you can then channel excess emotional energy into the two “butt” ends of the onion that have been sliced (don’t channel this energy into the onion you’ll be frying up). This is an emotionally safe way to induce crying and perform symbolic emotional magick.

Onyx: A black stone used for protective and defensive magick, onyx should ideally only be used if a person feels extreme negative energies coming from outside sources. The stone is said to be an energetic nullifier, so utilize its magick only when the need is great.

Petrified Wood: Pieces of petrified wood are actually conglomerations of water-based minerals that entered wood while it was dissolving over the course of millions of years. Petrified wood is considered a fossil and carries immense energies of grounding and spiritual memory. Because of the mineral’s link to primordial water and to the grounding energy of earth, petrified wood is a phenomenally useful material for empaths to carry and utilize magically.

Rowanberries: Berries of the rowan tree (also called mountain ash) are said to “recapitulate” one’s energy, meaning that the energy of the tree helps draw personal energy back onto the practitioner if it has been lost or misplaced; for this reason, rowan is ideal for shamanic undertakings of any type and for ceremonies and meditations aimed at recovering lost personal energy. Rowanberries are a profound tool for empathetic magick and emotional healing. I have fond memories of threading rowanberries into protective necklaces as part of my early training in Witchcraft—a fun activity that I still practice today!

Rue: Rue is an herb greatly utilized in magick—and certainly by magickal empaths—due to its association with social boundaries. According to traditions of Hoodoo conjure, when rue is combined with the herb agrimony, curses or negative energies sent from others will be repelled and returned. You can carry a red flannel sachet bag containing these herbs, make an herbal bath blend, and/or combine them for use as incense for the purpose of setting and defining boundaries and deflecting excessive external energy.

Salt: All types of salt have long been used to ward against external energies and to create sacred space. Physically, salt also makes plant life barren and sterile, which speaks of its metaphysical property of nullifying external forces. It is also a purifying substance and promotes cleanliness, both physically and metaphysically. Baths of sea salt are excellent for empathetic cleansing. Innumerable varieties of salt exist; discover which ones work best for you. Personally, I love to incorporate mineral-rich Himalayan pink salt into food, and I love to use black salt (Witch’s salt) in acts of protective magick.

Seashells: Seashells and other water-based items can be carried or utilized to connect us to the womb of life, our mother ocean. With a multitude of uses restricted only to the imagination, seashells can be utilized alongside coral, sand dollars, sea sponges, and other ocean mementos.

Snakeskin: Serpentine energy can be a powerful tool for empaths. In reality, the spiritual medicine of all animal spirits, guides, and familiars is an invaluable asset on the paths toward expanded consciousness. Snakes, in particular, are legless and earth-dwelling, reminding us to ground our energy and come back to center. Snakes are extremely perceptive and sensitive, reminding us to utilize our sensitivity with grace and accuracy. Snakeskin, or snake sheds, are great for empathy-based magick because they help us shed unwanted or unneeded energies from our sphere. Personally, I love to wipe down my whole skyclad (nude) body with a snake shed and then burn the shed, to purify my energy from emotional ties or energetic accumulations that may be hindering my evolutionary progress.

Sodalite: A deep-blue healing stone used in magick to overcome emotional confusion, sodalite is ideal for empaths because it is said to dispel shame and fear and to promote inner peace, both mentally and emotionally.

Tourmaline, Black: This is my favorite stone for empaths! Black tourmaline is a key stone for blocking an overabundance of external energy. This stone is an excellent preventative, so empaths can wear or carry this stone during any type of social engagement. Because black tourmaline is said to deflect excessive emotional energy, it allows the wearer to retain their personal essence. The stone’s black color aids in energetic protection by creating a barrier between yourself and others. Black tourmaline is also greatly beneficial for use in ceremonies aimed at protecting and shielding yourself. While this stone can be carried or worn out in public, I don’t recommend wearing or carrying the stone privately, on your lonesome, because it can begin to feel alienating. Instead, the stone’s influence makes it ideal for public situations where an excess of emotional energy may be present.

Yarrow: A flowery herb used for love, protection, and psychicism, yarrow is also used in Hoodoo to induce bravery, especially when combined with the herb nettle (nettles). Additionally, yarrow can be used in many ways to energetically protect against emotional drainage and to create social boundaries. Kyra Mesich, author of The Sensitive Person’s Survival Guide and The Strength of Sensitivity, swears by yarrow flower essence as an empathic clearing or resetting medicine. I’ve also heard that pink yarrow in particular is an ideal flower essence remedy for empaths who have trouble with emotional boundaries.

IN PRACTICE
An Amber and Jet Sachet Spell
to Establish Energetic Boundaries

One of my favorite magickal tools is a sachet. Whether a medicine bag, mojo hand, or gris-gris bag, sachets can hold an extreme amount of power. Because empaths absorb emotional energies by default, it’s a good idea to carry something that can help pad the experience and uphold energies of balance. This spell is meant to be used for seven days. It is designed for those times when you’re feeling especially vulnerable or energetically overloaded.

First, pick two sachet bags. Some people like to use deerskin and sinew to stitch their own sachets—I’ve found this practice to be particularly powerful and spiritually intimate. You can also use muslin bags or different drawstring sachets made of natural materials.

Use a marker or ink to draw planetary symbols on both bags. Use the common astrological symbols for the seven planets of classical astrology; these represent the days of the week on which you’ll be carrying the bags:

Sunday—Sun—

Monday—Moon—

Tuesday—Mars—

Wednesday—Mercury—

Thursday—Jupiter—

Friday—Venus—

Saturday—Saturn—

When you’ve dedicated the bags to the planetary bodies, mark the bottom of one with an L and the bottom of the other with an R: you will be carrying one bag in your left pocket and one in the right for seven days. If you happen to have a Hoodoo seven-day candle handy, you are welcome to incorporate it into the spell however you’d prefer.

Fill both bags with salt, rue, and yarrow. These ingredients help energetically solidify boundaries around the carrier. (If you wear a dress, skirt, or pants without pockets, find a way to get creative!)

Before you tie up the bags, add a small piece of jet to the bag you’ll be carrying on the left side, which will help block excessive energies from entering your sphere. In the sachet for your right side, add a piece of amber to aid in self-confidence and ease in communication. When you acquire the pieces of jet and amber, beware of imitations—both stones can be easily replicated with plastic!

Take notes in your journal or Book of Shadows about how your energy seems to shift throughout the week as you carry the bags. On the eighth day, upon waking, remove the bags from your pockets and bury them separately so they can return to nature. Leave an apple on top of each burial site as an offering to the local spirits and animals.

Ritualistic Empathy

Magickal paths are often alluring to empaths because of the freedom they allow for practitioners. For people who are driven by their emotional experiences, following conventional systems of religion can feel limiting. I am of the belief that there’s a time and a place for everything. Some esoteric rituals, such as the ceremonial practices connected to Western mystery traditions, do require absolute precision and focus when performing them. The same goes for initiations and rites of passage found in Neopagan traditions. When these rituals are performed precisely as they’ve been practiced in the past, it accesses the astral imprint of the experience. When I took my initiations as a Freemason, for example, it was neat to know that I was receiving initiations that were extremely similar to those of historical figures of our Western past. For that reason, it would be inappropriate to alter the rituals too much from their original foundation.

When it comes to personal magickal work, freedom abounds. We are able to create, modify, and tailor rituals to whatever suits our purpose and our intuition. A ritualistic experience can be created for any purpose under the sun. Magickal paths are great platforms for spiritual creativity and individualistic empowerment.

Emotions can be utilized in magickal practice because they are a foundation for the work we do. Emotions drive thoughts, and thoughts inspire intention. When we craft rituals based on our unique purposes and motivations, we deeply personalize our connection with the universe and all things in it. Everyone has different techniques for entering a sacred frame of mind and observing the cycles of the seasons, the moon, and our own inner ebbs and flows.

In this section we will examine a handful of deities that empaths can integrate into their personal ritualistic work. Deities are placed in this section because, unlike herbs and stones, they are not “tools” but are vibrant personalities that exist on a unique and constantly accessible level of consciousness.

Also explored here is a unique style of empathetic magickal work that practitioners can utilize within their own rites. Every reader is invited to integrate these techniques into their own living spiritual practice. While a lot of information can be learned from books, the most important rituals are those crafted through your own intuition and experiential success.

Empathic Gods and Goddesses

Certain gods and spirits can be invited in ritual to aid us in the work at hand. The mythologies of the world embody cultural legends and the journey of life itself. Myths are incredibly rich and varied, carrying cultural views and ideologies. Some deities embody natural forces, while others take on certain attributes of the human condition. Some would argue that gods are either created or realized by the minds of humans. Practitioners of esoteric traditions understand that the gods are living beings that reside on specific levels of consciousness, regardless of their origin. As astral or etheric entities, they are both eternal and elusive. They connect to us on energetic, cultural, and psychological levels.

Many Pagans choose paths of consistent dedication to specific gods or pantheons, while other practitioners choose to work with different deities at certain times of the year or when specific needs arise. As long as each deity is approached with cultural respect, no harm will be done.

The very brief list that follows is presented in alphabetical order. It examines a number of deities from a variety of cultures. Space does not allow for a detailed exploration of these gods and goddesses, but I hope this list will inspire readers to research more deeply the deities with whom they identify.

Many thanks to my sweet friend and fellow Pagan Priest Luis Valadez of the Minoan Brotherhood for providing insight into a few of the lesser-known gods on this list.

Amaterasu: The radiant sun goddess of ancient Japan. Japan’s collection of indigenous, animistic, polytheistic religions is now known collectively as Shinto. Amaterasu-Omikami (her full name) means “the Great One who illuminates the heavens.” Ruling alongside her brother Tsukuyomi, the god of the moon, Amaterasu embodies compassion, healing, and personal strength.

Aphrodite (also Venus): The Greek goddess of love. Not restricted to romantic love, Aphrodite also oversees pleasure, beauty, lust, and human compassion. She is aligned with both the planet Venus and the Roman deity of the same name. The most common myth is that Aphrodite was born in the sea from Uranus’s castrated genitals, and another mythological account cites her as the offspring of Zeus and Dione. Her primary consort is Adonis, and she is sometimes referenced as the beautiful lover of Aries.

Astarte (also Ishtar): Seen as a personification of the evening star (Venus), Astarte was first worshiped in Syria and Canaan. Astarte is the ruler of love, beauty, peace, and compassion. Her counterpart is Baal. She is directly related to the older Mesopotamian goddess Ishtar, as Astarte is actually the ancient Greek name for Ishtar herself. Many scholars also link Astarte’s development to the Sumerian goddess Inanna.

Barachiel: Eastern Orthodox Catholicism’s chief of guardian angels. In many ways, Barachiel is a representative of every person’s individual angelic guardians. He can be prayed to as an emissary of one’s own angelic guides, acting as both a messenger and a guardian in his own right. In addition to overseeing personal guardian angels, Barachiel welcomes seekers of enlightenment by bestowing spiritual blessings to those who are just beginning to awaken to the hidden realms. Barachiel is a king of compassion. Depicted with a white rose of blessing, his leadership is both illuminating and empathetic.

Brighid: An ancient Irish goddess embodying virginal aspects of the feminine mysteries, Brighid inspires love, poetic creativity, fertility, and loving inspiration. Brighid, as well as the Christian Saint Brigit, are prayed to for their spiritual qualities of healing and compassionate deliverance. Brighid is the daughter of the Dagda and celebrates an annual day of feast on Imbolg/Imbolc (Candlemas), traditionally the 1st of February. Brighid’s perpetual fire was actually kept burning, attended by nuns, in her temple in Kildare, Ireland, until the time of the Reformation. Brighid is also known as Brid, Bride, Brigan, Brigid, and Brigantia.

Budai: The “Chinese Santa Claus” who embodies joy, compassion, and goodwill. Though sometimes called the “Laughing Buddha,” Budai is actually older than the historical Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama) and is most likely based on a tenth-century Chinese Buddhist (Chan) monk. Still, there exists a common misunderstanding in the Western world that the Buddha himself was a fat, jolly ol’ fellow. Instead, this is Budai. Budai is viewed as an embodiment of a future Buddha (Maitreya) and is believed to bring a limitless amount of love, laughter, compassion, and enjoyment to the world. Also called Pu-Tai, Shichi Fukujin, and Hotei, he is a joyous deity of luck and abundance connected to various Asian branches of Buddhism.

Demeter: The Roman goddess of agriculture, fertility, and sustenance and sister of Zeus. Demeter’s affectionate and mothering energy nurtures all living beings and the planet herself. Depicted with a crown of corn, a lighted torch (or cornucopia), and a poppy flower, Demeter is central to the legend of the Descent of the Goddess. Demeter’s mythic daughter Persephone was abducted by the chthonic Hades, thus creating the earth’s annual descent into the season of winter. Demeter’s long and heartfelt search for Persephone gives this goddess deeply empathetic characteristics.

Eleos: A Greek female daimon (spirit) embodying compassion, pity, and human mercy. Though not an actual goddess, Eleos is an embodiment of empathetic virtue. Pausanius wrote that Eleos was the spirit who was closest to humanity. Eleos was given a shrine in Athens and was eventually seen as a companion to Clementia, who was a Roman goddess of sorts created from the ancient virtue of “clemency,” meaning “mercy” and “forbearance.” Seen as a mournful figure, Eleos is often depicted as melancholic, with a blue veil or dress.

Frigg: The most revered of the ancient Teutonic goddesses, the lunar goddess Frigg is mythologized as the wife and sister of Odin and is the commander of the Valkyries. Frigg is a mother and protector goddess who is still very much venerated in modern Scandinavian, Teutonic, Asatru, and Odinist traditions, all of which are connected to ancient Norse Heathenry. As the mother of Baldur, legends observe Hlin (who was later merged with Frigg) as a Lady of Sorrows who wept out of empathy twice: first when Odin’s death was foretold and secondly when Baldur died. Because of her empathy, she was tasked with protecting and saving people from danger.

Ganesh: Son of Lord Shiva and Parvati Maa (an aspect of Kali/Durga/Devi) in Hindu mythology. Also known as Vinayaka, Ganapati, and many other names (as are most Hindu deities), Ganesh (also spelled Ganesha or Ganesa) is the large-bellied, joyful, and elephant-headed god of gods who is depicted in the legends as the cosmic “remover of obstacles.” Venerated across the world, Ganesh has become one of the most adored Indian deities of all time. His rich symbolism and multiple depictions align with his ability to demolish challenges and attract wealth, joy, compassion, and holistic abundance to all who hold him dear.

Glooscap: A just and loving spiritual chief of the Wabanaki Nation (now part of the Algonquin Nation). Glooscap is portrayed as a Native American giant, as his various statues depict him as tall and mighty yet beneficent, unlike his wolf-brother Malsum. Glooscap is said to have created animals and faeries and to have taught humankind useful craftwork and the ways of peace. He demonstrates compassion for the Wabanaki in their stories depicting him as a caretaker of his people, one who lovingly safeguards their land and fights against evil influences.

Hathor: The Ancient Egyptian golden goddess of childbirth, beauty, renewal, and rebirth. Commonly depicted as a beautiful woman wearing a red solar disk between bullhorns, she is actually associated with the moon and night sky. Hathor is often shown in the form of a cow and is mythologized as having compassionately protected the young king Horus in a thicket of papyrus. Hathor is mythologized as welcoming the sun from the west (the direction of the sunset and death) to help usher souls into their next experience.

Isis: The beautiful ancient Egyptian goddess who is viewed as an archetype of the ideal mother and wife. In addition to overseeing magick and the natural world, Isis has long been said to hear the prayers of individuals from all walks of life, whether elite, destitute, or anywhere in between. Isis is the wife of Osiris and mother of the magnificent falcon god Horus.

Jesus Christ: Christian demigod, prophet, and Prince of Peace. With numerous interpretations across the globe, the messianic Jesus personifies love, humility, and compassion for all humankind. Despite the fact that the idea of Jesus as an actual, historical person is academically debated (if not doubted), the fact remains that he is one of the most well-known deities of our time. Preaching messages of unity, love, forgiveness, and tenderness, the Christ Jesus can be seen as a uniquely messianic embodiment of the empathic frequency.

Krishna (also Vishnu): The eighth avatar/incarnation of Lord Vishnu in Hindu mythology. Lord Krishna, also called Gopala, Vasudeva, and many other names, is the central heroic figure of the ancient Vedic epic The Bhagavad Gita (part of the Mahabharata), which is a cornerstone of Hindu philosophy across the globe. Commonly depicted with beautiful blue skin and a flute (or as a wee baby eating butter), Krishna is androgynous and embodies both limitless compassion and the lesson of dharma: a person’s spiritual duty or destiny. The tradition of Hinduism that reveres Vishnu is called Vaishnavism, existing primarily in northern India, which views Vishnu’s primary emanations as Lord Krishna, Lord Rama (of the Ramayana), and the primordial (and joyously empathetic) Lord Jagannatha.

Kwan-yin (also Hariti and Avalokiteshvara): An ancient Chinese goddess of fecundity and healing. Also called Guanyin, Sung-tzu Niang-niang, and the Goddess of Mercy, Kwan-yin is referred to as “the mother of compassion,” “she who bears the sorrows of the world,” and “the woman who brings children.” Seated on a lotus flower, the majestic Kwan-yin is sometimes depicted with a child or a lion. She is a goddess of oracular wisdom, magick, and the deepest level of empathy for the world. She is aligned with the magnificent thousand-armed bodhisattva of enlightenment and compassion, Avalokiteshvara, of whom the Dalai Lama is seen as an avatar or living emanation.

Mary, Virgin: The virginal mother of Jesus in Christian mythology. There have been innumerable interpretations and modifications of Mary throughout the modern era. Hailed as a mother of mercy and compassion, Mary’s love for Jesus through his dying day suggests a deep level of empathetic compassion. Perhaps most predominantly worshiped as a saint by Catholics and related branches, Mary can be viewed as a Christian goddess figure whose unwavering empathy is available for all who seek her refuge.

Sala: Ancient Babylonian goddess of gain, the harvest, emotion, and compassion to all. Originally a Hurrian goddess, Sala oversees compassion in that she has gifted humanity with agriculture, our saving grace. She is identified with the compassionate Venus and the constellation Virgo (once called the Furrow) and is often depicted nude, with a stalk of barley.

Tara: A radiant and beneficent bodhisattva of both the Mahayana and the Tantric/Vajrayana schools of Buddhism who is viewed as the “mother of liberation.” Because bodhisattvas are embodiments of Buddhist virtues, Tara is depicted in numerous forms as a liberator and an assistant on the journey toward spiritual illumination. Each of her multicolored portrayals embodies certain Buddhist ideals, including enlightenment, compassion, and the transformation of aggressive emotions.

Xochipilli: The youthful Aztec “flower prince,” solar god, and king of the corn. Xochipilli is the central figure of the Aztec spring equinox fertility ritual. Xochipilli oversees the summertime, love, artistic creation, dancing, singing, celebration, games, flowers, butterflies, fertility, and same-sex love. His twin sister is Xochiquetzal, a goddess of beauty, magick, and love. Both Xochipilli and his sister are considered compassionate protectors and overseers of their people. Also called Chicomexochitl, Quiabelagayo, and Macuilxochitl, Xochipilli is also a deity of abundance and of entheogenic wisdom: the ecstatic throes of plant-based psychoactive shamanism.

Yemoja (also Yemaya, Iemanja, and La Sirène): The mother of all orishas (spirits) in the ancient African religion of Yoruba. Revered as one of the oldest personifications of the sea as well as the Ogun River, Yemoja is often depicted in flowing blue or white robes and with oceanic characteristics and is sometimes portrayed as a mermaid. Yemoja oversees children and childbirth and is seen as having a deep connection to all bodies of water and all women across the world. Due to the African slave trade, she is known as the Siren (La Sirène) in both Louisiana and Haitian Voodoo/Vodoun, as Yemaya in Santería, and as Iemanja (Portuguese) in Brazilian Candomblé (now widespread in Latin America). Yemoja is also identified with the Virgin Mary in her ancient aspect of Stella Maris: Our Lady, Star of the Sea. Yemoja is a radiant and endlessly compassionate divinity upheld in virtually all traditions influenced by the African diaspora.

Magickal Empathic Transmutation

Everything in reality has a frequency or vibration. Both New Age and occult philosophies have long understood that the plane of reality in which we exist is not what it seems. There is waaaaay more to our human experience than meets the eye. Even the most secular or atheistic person can have respect for particle physics and the scientific understanding that physical reality is not as physiologically stable as it appears to the everyday conscious mind.

Practitioners of many mystical traditions believe that everyone has the capability to tap into any of reality’s frequencies at any point in time. By consciously accessing alternate planes of existence, we can influence others’ realities and shape our own. The unseen web of life allows people to access any energy at any time through intention alone. We can utilize our empathy to both access and gain entry into unseen emotional vibrations and help transform those energies from the inside out. The skilled empath is doing this constantly in daily life through social interaction and by mindfulness of thought. This can be taken a step further into the realm of ritualistic empathic magick by way of emotional transmutation.

Using the magickal methods offered in this section, I encourage you to tap into the realities of those who may not be acting responsibly here on the earth plane. Those who are trapped in cycles of insatiable greed, domination, and a lust for power can be emotionally accessed through remote empathic magickal work. We can help, in some measure, transform the emotions and ways of thinking that lead some people to engage in devastating behaviors. By working empathetic magick through the art of projection, we can tap into the subtle planes of another person’s experience and influence their personal spiritual awakening in a process of transforming their perspective from something limiting into something expansive, something divisive into something compassionate—if even just a little bit.

Numerous governmental bodies and multinational corporations want us to go along with their ideal reality by becoming dependent on television and junk food, to be programmed by the media, and to behave as mass-consumer automatons who are unaware of our own ability to create change. If we are not aware, it can be easy to fall into these emotional traps and do whatever we’re told. Let’s not give them what they want.

During the type of magickal work suggested in this section, try to cultivate empathy for the violators and what brought them to that state of being. Use your skills as an empath and a spiritual creator to install genuine value systems in those who you are targeting, because some of these people may simply not know any better. The emotional implications are heavy; it’s challenging to do this sort of work magically, but it can be done.

People who have been hurt will often hurt other people as an unconscious cry for help and as a coping mechanism. Try to see how the victimizers may have been abused themselves; this is a key for cultivating empathy toward these individuals and is the way we can help modify their emotional frequencies. We can feel their pain but must keep in mind that violators always have the choice to change their ways.

My beloved witchy godmother Debbie McGaw has always told me that there is a difference between excuses and reasons. If we can tap into reasons for some people’s destructive behaviors, we can more easily help them transform their wounded emotions from something destructive into something constructive without rationalizing their behaviors as excuses. Everyone gets to choose how they respond to emotional wounds and traumas in life; reasons for bad behaviors do not need to be justified as excuses. Knowing the root of our own behaviors and go-to excuses is a prerequisite for empathizing with the life experience of others.

This section offers advice for tapping into the emotional landscapes of those who are themselves victims. By exploring their emotional states, we can positively encourage healing emotions rather than those that are hopeless or distraught. You may wish to empathically access and help transform the emotions of PTSD victims, for example, such as those individuals who have experienced the traumas of domestic abuse, rape, injurious accidents, childhood abuse, or violent war. You may perform this magick by accessing the group mind of PTSD or the group mind of the world’s wounded empaths. Or maybe a friend or client personally solicited your help in transforming their difficult emotional imprints. There are numerous ways to approach empathetic magick from a remote vantage point. (Please keep in mind that if you are working with a specific individual who suffers from PTSD or who has deeply buried emotional traumas, they must first give you permission to perform magickal work; anything beyond visualizing white light or burning a prayer candle in their name can run the risk of reigniting the trauma or triggering a dissociative response.)

Whether we tap into victims or victimizers, both parties are experiencing states of suffering. The emotions tend to be similar: fear of loss, loneliness, depression, a desire for acceptance, low self-esteem, and so on. A little psychoanalysis can aid greatly in our empathic magickal work, such as the 5 Ws: who, what, where, when, and why. (And don’t forget our straggling friend “how”!)

It’s not only other people whose emotions we can empathically tap into. We can align our own energies with the vibration of animals or an environment. Because humans, flora, and fauna are all sentient, they have empathetic capacity and may be accessed energetically at any time.

The objective of this type of magickal work is to utilize empathy to step into negative or destructive emotions in a person, a group of people, or a natural environment. As magickal empaths, we have the opportunity to alchemize negative emotional states from a distance by encouraging those energies to enter a new level of awareness and compassion. In this manner, magickal empathic transmutation is an act of empathizing in order to encourage empathy.

Presented in the following pages are a few scenarios that we can energetically access and help transform. By no means is this list complete. Rather than going in depth about specific incidents or scenarios, I am instead presenting general categories to give readers an idea of the variety of troubling states we can access in others and help transform. These lists can be expanded upon and personalized depending on different scenarios and depending on the practitioner’s own level of awareness about certain issues.

For example, there is a point where I discuss businesspeople whose sole focus is financial profiteering and whose actions because of this have forced other individuals into dire poverty, ill health, and even suicidal responses. Examples of this include the purchasing, bottling, and selling of precious water in third-world countries, the devastation of tribal people through rainforest clear-cutting, the corporate infiltration of genetically modified crops overseas, and a plethora of other examples. You may be personally aware of a specific company, CEO, or politician whose actions fit the description. From there, you have the option to either tap into the group mind of business-oriented greed in general, or more specifically tap into the energy of the organization itself, or even more specifically tap into that influential person you have in mind. The more precisely you can target your empathic magick, the better. (However, your own comfort level comes first.)

It’s bothersome on a soul level that some people think and behave the way they do. While we all have room for improvement, I believe that people who are influential in any way, whether politically, spiritually, or psychologically, have an inherent responsibility to understand their own reach of influence and the level of karmic responsibility that comes with social “power.” Life is so short and everyone must exercise their influence wisely.

There are so many emotional paradoxes when it comes to destructive social behavior. For starters, the people who are creating scarcity on a global scale are the ones who have more money than one could possibly spend in a hundred lifetimes, yet ironically they are often the ones who feel the most fear about having it all taken away. Those financial elite who spend all of their time and energy thinking they need more money are the ones who are missing out on the true wealth of community and holistic development. In many ways, a greedy executive is much more impoverished than someone who is out hunting for dinner with their loving family. Money itself isn’t good or bad; it’s a neutral force. It’s our attachment to and perspective on finances that can be positive or negative. When it comes to money and genuine happiness, there is always a balance to be found.

While this chapter is not focused specifically on financial greed, the topic of money and its frequent global misuse reminds me of the 2013 Spanish-language surrealist occult-art film called The Dance of Reality by Alejandro Jodorowsky. The opening scene of this masterpiece begins with this premise: “Money is like blood: it gives life if it flows. Money is like Christ: it blesses you if you share it. Money is like Buddha: if you don’t work, you don’t get it. Money enlightens those who use it to open the flower of the world and damns those who glorify it, cofounding riches with the soul. There is no difference between money and conscience. There is no difference between conscience and death. There is no difference between death and wealth.”

While the effects of these transformative workings may not be immediately noticeable (though sometimes they are), the perceptive practitioner can palpably sense a shift occur. This sort of magickal work is an act of empathetic compassion, especially when the work is coupled with actions matching intent on the physical plane. These sorts of workings can also stir up the emotions of the individual practitioner. Please be aware, dear reader: this sort of magick must be performed only if the practitioner is in a psychologically and emotionally balanced state of mind. You must objectively assess yourself as much as possible and decide whether this sort of magick is even something you should be doing in the first place. Deciding not to perform a certain type of magick is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of the self-awareness inherent in personal integrity. This sort of intentional empathetic magick truly is not for everyone—and that’s okay!

Please do proceed with caution. It can be spiritually dangerous to tap into extreme energies of suffering. Because we are choosing to align ourselves with negative or destructive energy for the purpose of transformation, we must take great care of our own emotional experiences. If we do not practice sufficient self-protection and banishing techniques, or if we are in a vulnerable state of mind or emotion, we risk having these energies become attached to our own sphere of experience.

It’s likely that certain newsworthy events or personal synchronicities will occur (or have occurred), giving you an idea where you’d like to focus your empathic energy in a ritualized setting. Don’t feel like you have to immerse yourself in all the pains of the world just so you can lend a helping hand. You only have so much energy, so pick your causes wisely. I don’t recommend practicing this type of magick too often because of its potency. Accessing emotions is no joke, and the practitioner must have a great amount of responsibility and self-awareness to safely and successfully invoke personal or global emotions without becoming carried away by them. Again, this type of magickal work is not for everybody.

I do not suggest that empaths perform this type of magick and then call it a day. We have a responsibility to follow through with our visualizations and magickal work with real-life work. It’s not enough to visualize an emotional transformation for someone if we don’t do some kind of work to make that a reality in the physical dimension. We can make the choice to get active and fight for the causes we’re passionate about. We can put people in touch with organizations that can help them through their predicament. We can utilize protesting, petitioning, and political letter writing to make our views known. We can spread awareness on social media. We can hold rallies and parties for causes we believe in. We can volunteer for organizations that aid and assist those who are in need. Please see the section “Social Service and Volunteer Work” in this book’s final chapter for more information and ideas for ways we can help.

Please keep in mind that the magick presented in this section encourages the practitioner to only be a catalyst for transforming the emotional energies of others. The magick presented in this section is not designed for the practitioner to transform their own wounds but to help others in healing their own.

Andrew Boyd, a social activist and author, once explained how overwhelming compassion can be: “When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. You cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound to the destinies of others. You must either learn to carry the universe or be crushed by it. You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors. To seek enlightenment is to seek annihilation, rebirth, and the taking up of burdens. You must come prepared to touch and be touched by each and every thing in heaven and hell.” 22

I would like to extend heartfelt thanks to the brilliant Gabrielle Lafayette and Alexandria Rain Smith of the darshan Pulse (dP) Collective for their assistance with many of the ideas presented in this section. Being two of the most politically aware and spiritually astute people I know, their insight has been tremendously helpful in honing the focus of this section. Both artists are producers of the radio program The Outer Limits, which is broadcast weekly from KBGA College Radio in Missoula, Montana. (This is the same station from which I broadcast my own show, Midnite Soundscapes, as DJ Raven). For those readers who are interested in hearing their revolutionary programming, archives can be found at www.mixcloud.com/outerlimitsradioshow and their fantastic blog can be found at https://outerlimitsradioshow.wordpress.com. Both their radio program and my own can be heard streaming live on Saturdays from www.kbga.org.

The following is a small list of potential recipients for your work of magickal empathic transmutation. I have included a bit of information on each, as well as ideas for additional activities you may wish to incorporate into your magickal work. These categories are aimed at oppressors and victimizers. You will also see “flip side” categories that give suggestions for empathically transmuting the emotions of those victims who have been affected by the recipient(s).

Recipients: Bullies and harassers

Key Themes: Self-acceptance and self-esteem

Empathic Transmutation: Tap into the deeper emotions of the bully or harasser by feeling the social wounds they have accumulated and that have led to this mode of behavior. Transmute this energy by inviting forgiveness for their own experiences of having been degraded in the past, and help transmute their emotions with a hefty dose of self-love.

Flip Side: Tap into the emotions of depressed and shame-ridden victims of bullying behavior. Whether the person is a victim of bullying at school, in the workplace, online, or anywhere else, the accompanying emotions of shame and fear can be tapped into and encouraged to transform into self-esteem and the confidence to defend oneself.

Additional Suggestions: Use a picture of the bully or aggressor (or a representation of this global energy) and artistically transform it by adding hearts, glitter, peace signs, and other representations of the energies you’d like to invite into their sphere of experience.

__________________________

Recipients: Ecclesiastical extremists

Key Theme: Universal spiritual awakening

Empathic Transmutation: Tap into the emotional wounds that have influenced religious zealots to infect others with hateful ideologies. See them as frightened children who have yet to learn the value of community, diversity, and commonsense thinking. Empathically invoke and project their ability to have these realizations and to have universal spiritual epiphanies.

Flip Side: Emotionally align yourself with people who have been made to feel sinful or tainted for simply being themselves or who feel guilt about following the path in life they have chosen. Help transform those feelings of shame into feelings of self-respect and independent empowerment by promoting these spiritual awakenings.

Additional Suggestions: Use the holy book of the extremists as a focal point, perhaps in addition to a picture of the individual (if your magick concerns a singular person). Visualize that person or people getting loving messages from their holy book rather than ideas of hatred or violence.

__________________________

Recipients: Self-serving politicians

Key Theme: Change motivated by compassion

Empathic Transmutation: Political individuals have a large sphere of influence. Some choose to be ethical and considerate in their actions, but many choose otherwise. Some will choose to strip the population of social welfare programs, for example, but won’t do anything about reducing the military budget. This is an example of influential individuals not seeing the forest for the trees—or just not giving a shit about the forest in the first place. When a politician or group of politicians makes decisions driven by greed, hatred, and divisive thinking, these perspectives can be tapped into by empathizing with the fears that lead them to these destructive behaviors. That fear can be encouraged to transform into compassion for others and the world.

Flip Side: Access the emotions of those whose lifestyles have been uprooted because of political greed and discordant political actions. Help transform their emotional destitution into hope for the future and the motivation to help create those changes however they are able.

Additional Suggestions: Print an image of the politician(s) and gather a representation of the force that is triggering their bad behavior. This could be a dollar bill, a vial of gasoline (oil), a plant (environmental causes), progressive literature, or any other representation of the issue that you aim to help them change their relationship toward.

__________________________

Recipients: Banking oligarchs

Key Themes: Sharing, kindness, and personal ethics

Empathic Transmutation: For those who engage in predatory banking practices, money is the most obvious motivator. Next to this is an addiction to power. Empathically, one can tap into these people’s deeper emotions such as the fear of loss, familial conditioning, and the devastating belief that “money equals worth.” Magically introduce concepts of contentment and sharing with others in addition to emotions of compassion and sympathy. Introduce the elite to a concept of ethics.

Flip Side: Tap into the feelings of those individuals whose living situations have been compromised due to the greed of certain banking industries. Access their emotions of destitution, anger, and hopelessness, and help shift these into personal strength, healing, and hope for the future.

Additional Suggestions: Use a dollar bill and create a spell. While sitting in front of an image of the banker(s) or an image of their corporate logo, place the dollar bill in a jar with honey, sugar, and flowers to “sweeten” their relationship to this contrived system of value that we call “money.”

__________________________

Recipients: Racists, classists, homophobes, misogynists, and social elitists

Key Themes: Accepting and including

Empathic Transmutation: Many people take on ideologies of racism, classism, and other divisive social-isms because of their social conditioning. Others become divisive due to bad experiences with certain people. Tap into the hateful responses that result from feelings of superiority, as well as the fear that some people have toward those they don’t understand. Access the emotional camaraderie that these people feel with others of similar mind, and alchemize these emotions to inspire the individuals to cultivate unified thinking toward those they deem different. Help energetically inspire emotions of acceptance that are aligned with humankind’s empathic revolution.

Flip Side: Empathically access the feelings of those who have been made to feel “lesser than” because of who they are. Tap into the emotion of shame, and work to transform it into a feeling of the personal value and joy we experience when we are welcomed and included.

Additional Suggestions: Get a representational image both of the repressor and of the repressed. Between the two images, sprinkle herbs of peace, such as lavender, chamomile, and olive leaves. Envision the two peacefully enjoying each other’s company without prejudice.

__________________________

Recipients: Advertising body-shamers

Key Theme: Human wellness

Empathic Transmutation: The media is profoundly influential, and the motivation is almost always financial. While some advertisers encourage health and wellness, many others promote their products by invoking shame and self-disgust in the viewer. This is a form of bullying, plain and simple. Empathically access the advertisers’ motivation to make people feel insecure about themselves. Tap into the emotional reasons for these advertisers’ desire for money. Empathically influence them to see the destructive influence they have on people’s emotions, and encourage them to value human wellness over financial gain.

Flip Side: Access the emotional states of people who have been made to feel socially unacceptable, ugly, or unlovable. Again, help turn their insecurities into positive self-acceptance, wellness, and love. Encourage them to see behind the veil of social pressure, mass media, and corporate greed.

Additional Suggestions: Clip out ads from fashion magazines that represent allegedly “ideal” body types or lifestyles. Create an artistic collage from these pieces, and paint overtop it with symbols and messages that represent diversity and self-acceptance.

__________________________

Recipients: Ecological annihilators

Key Theme: Appreciation of Mother Earth

Empathic Transmutation: Because financial greed often trumps compassion for the earth, try tapping into the motivations of the corporations that are devastating rainforests or dumping chemicals into the ocean (to give but two examples). Research the individuals behind these decisions, and work your magick to persuade their emotions away from greed (fear) and toward a loving appreciation of Mother Earth.

Flip Side: Tap into the energy of the ecosystems themselves by surrounding yourself with images of both environmental health and devastation. Burn or rip up the images of pollution and destruction, and use the ashes or shredded pieces of paper as “fertilizer” for the beautiful images by pasting them at the bottom of the images of healthy ecosystems—or feed those ashes to healthy plants and trees within Mother Earth’s wild terrain.

Additional Suggestions: If you choose to tap into the wounded energies of the ecosystems themselves, consider getting a sample of those elements to use in your ritual. You may get ferns to represent a forest or glasses of water to represent natural oceans and lakes. If you can’t physically access that ecosystem, you can create a representation by using a map or printed images. Follow this up by planting trees, gardening, invoking political activism, and being mindful of your own footprint on the earth.

__________________________

Recipients: Corporate abusers

Key Theme: Compassion toward fellow beings

Empathic Transmutation: Many corporations take advantage of employees through intimidating policies, exploitative practices, and outsourced slave labor. When empathically accessing the motivations of these corporations, research the corporate executives who have destructive track records and whose decisions are completely disconnected from the working population; these are often the people who make decisions that negatively affect individuals based on their profit margins. The executives of many enormous corporations feel invincible and untouchable because big money can buy nearly anything, which is why they need to be introduced to a concept of ethics and empathy. No amount of oil, diamonds, or money can supersede the welfare of living beings. In addition to more laws being placed between governments and corporations, somehow influencing empathy in these corporate executives is the only way to create positive change in these situations. People want their own empires and will try to manifest this delusion of dominance through the mistreatment of humans, animals, and the earth. It seems like everyone wants to be an Ozymandias. When you work your magick, focus on the CEOs, boards of directors, and investors. Again, tap into that insidious fear of loss (and lust for power) that is a bedfellow to corrupt corporate decision-making, and help transform it into a sense of compassion for all those individuals who are also trying to provide for themselves and navigate life’s challenges.

Flip Side: Emotionally access the feelings of those who have been let down by their employer or taken advantage of to feed the psychoses of powermongers. When you tap into the emotions of these victims, help instill in these people a sense of hope and the inspiration to create positive change for themselves and their families however they are able. You may also wish to tap into the emotions of people in other countries who have experienced corporate devastation firsthand, such as farmers whose lives have been upturned because of corporate monopolization and legal loopholes, or members of indigenous cultures who have been pushed off their land through corporate colonialism.

Additional Suggestions: In your magick, use corporate logos (which are basically social glyphs) as focal points. Use dollar bills and representations of money in order to focus on the criminal executives changing their relationship toward money and to help them realize that they cannot take it with them when they die. Additionally, research the individuals who may themselves be behind greed-based decision-making and access them on a personal emotional level to influence positive change. Follow up this magickal work with activism however you can (though please do not engage in illegal activities in your proactive approaches).

__________________________

Recipients: Drug pushers

Key Themes: Health and healing

Empathic Transmutation: There are many types of drug pushers. Some distribute dangerous substances to buyers from their home or an alleyway, while others distribute them by means of corporate pharmacological profiteering. Someone who distributes dangerous drugs feeds not only the addictions of others but also their own (whether the addiction is to finances or a substance). You can empathically tap into the motivation of a drug pusher by considering which underlying emotions contribute to the greed or profiteering they are demonstrating. Empathically transform those emotions into the realization that health and human life is more valuable than any amount of money.

Flip Side: As a magickal empath, you are able to tap into the emotion of fear that accompanies addiction. Addictions to sex, shopping, or working also qualify as empathetic subjects in this category, because they are habits that are an attempt to anesthetize the pain of existence. Consider the feeling of emptiness that an addict feels if they don’t have their drug or sensation of choice. Tap into that fear and empathically insert an epiphany of “I need help.” The recipient(s) of your magick may find themselves inspired to do that very thing, especially if you are also able to help them in person.

Additional Suggestions: Get a representation of the drug, drink, or substance in question, as well as an image of the person or people you are accessing as magickal subjects. Try to approach the addict or dealer with empathy rather than judgment. Use your skills as an empath to insert concepts of self-awareness and health above addictive behavior of any sort.

__________________________

Recipients: Familial abusers

Key Theme: Breaking the cycle of abuse

Empathic Transmutation: Many people’s psychological wounds begin in childhood. A person’s family should be their refuge, not a source of fear, but unfortunately some people are not afforded this basic level of care. Physical abuse, sexual abuse, and insidious psychological abuse occur in family structures far more often than they should. Imbalanced needs are also a source of generational traumas, where one negative belief or behavior is passed through generations of individuals. By magically accessing the underlying emotions of a familial abuser and the emotions that have resulted from their own abuse or conditioning, you can choose to empathically transmute these destructive energies into ones based in compassion for others. (Please proceed with extreme caution if you are using this form of magick to heal your own wounds or change the frequency of your own familial violators. Please remember that the magick presented in this section concerns other individuals, not the practitioners themselves.)

Flip Side: Tap into the emotions of those who have been abused within their family structure. You may wish to tap into the group mind or overarching energy of abuse victims, or you may wish to access the emotional state of one particular person. Empathically, you are likely to encounter emotions of shame, guilt, distrust, and fear. Help alchemize these energies by transforming the energy you receive into self-acceptance, forgiveness, and empowerment toward progressive change. Additionally, if you know someone who is a victim of abuse, it is your responsibility to help them get the services they need. Numerous crime victim advocate organizations exist locally, nationally, and internationally, and I believe that everyone should familiarize themselves with these organizations so they can assist those in need.

Additional Suggestions: If you are accessing the emotions of familial abusers, your main focus should be on energetically helping them have their own awakening or epiphany in order to create positive change. If you are working with a specific individual, you will want to get something to represent that person. Make a very specific plan of action for your magickal work. Take a good amount of time to meditate on the emotions the person has been experiencing (whether it’s an abuser or the abused), and consider which kind of emotional antithesis they will most deeply benefit from. Which emotions can you energetically bring into the scenario to help them create the positive transformation they need?

__________________________

Recipients: Abusers of animals, children, and other innocent beings

Key Themes: Invite compassion and report abuse

Empathic Transmutation: Abuse toward animals, children, elderly people, people with disabilities, and other vulnerable populations is often linked to antisocial personality disorder, including sociopathy and psychopathy. Unimaginable atrocities are committed against innocent beings on a daily basis, some of which are private and unseen and others of which are supported by underground networks and social circles across the world. It can be exceedingly difficult to imagine empathizing in any manner with abusive or exploitative individuals. If you attempt to do this ritually, I suggest that you do not energetically access the emotional state of the abusers directly but instead access their own wounded emotions—emotions that they have responded to by choosing to become abusive individuals. Some of these emotions may stem from feelings of inferiority, biological impairments, a learned need for dominance, or a psychological imbalance due to having being abused themselves. The abuser of every person or animal is different, and each abuser has a different set of circumstances that have led them to engage in unthinkable behaviors. If you use empathetic magick to access the emotional state of an abuser, it should be extremely well planned and oriented around that person’s capability to somehow invite compassion and empathy into their lives. There is always some spark of light available even in the most bleak and torturous levels of consciousness.

Flip Side: Though it may be incredibly difficult to do, if you are able to tap into the emotional fear and trauma of abused people and animals, the ideal emotions to instill are comfort, peace, and hope for the future. You may also cast magick and weave prayers around the mistreated individuals that are intended to attract the attention of the police or of people who will care enough to report these violations to the authorities.

Additional Suggestions: If you work this sort of magick, you should get a representation of the abused and/or the abuser (depending on who you are aiming to influence). The image of the individual—or the force in general—should be something that will not cause you deep emotional distress during the ritual. It’s also best to follow up this sort of magick with work in the physical world, such as volunteering at a children’s shelter or animal shelter or making mindful consumer choices. (For example, do research into corporations so that you don’t inadvertently support abusive industries, such as those who engage in exploitative sweatshop labor, the factory farming of animals, and other hidden evil practices.)

__________________________

Recipients: Human traffickers

Key Theme: Priceless freedom

Empathic Transmutation: While it might remain unseen to most people in everyday life, human slavery exists all across the world. In the United States alone, there are an estimated 300,000 teens and children who are trafficked for sexual slavery at any given time. Victimizers are drawn to financial gain and delusions of power through human exploitation, while those who “buy” these individuals feel an addiction to power over others. Tap into the dreadful, inferior emotional state of these predators and do your best to help shift their emotions from those of fear and abusiveness to those of an empathizing moral disposition.

Flip Side: Access the fearful emotional states of those who are used and sold in human slavery, and help instill them with the confidence to reach out to those who can help them escape their situation. Surround these victims with energies and affirmations that legal authorities will get word of their situation and will swiftly intervene.

Additional Suggestions: Accessing the emotional states of these victims and victimizers can be very tedious because of the seriousness of the crimes and the psychoses that lead to these horrors even occurring in the first place. Use extreme discretion if you wish to access these energies, and dedicate yourself to following up through works of social activism.

The following steps are my recommendation for a process by which you can put this magickal empathic transmutation into action. Feel free to add to these steps so that your ceremony can become personalized to your individual practice, and please don’t get in over your head. Ensure your own emotional safety, and take precautions when approaching magick aimed at alchemizing deeply dark emotional states. Pace yourself, protect yourself, and be honest with yourself in every way.

1. Self-Check: Perform a very honest self-examination emotionally, mentally, and spiritually to decide if this is a good time for you to safely and effectively access these negative states and help transform them. Take a good long time to think about it. Remember that you are only the empathic catalyst for the emotional transfiguration you are intending. You must not become attached throughout the magickal process. This magick is focused entirely on the recipient and is not focused on your own personal transformation in any manner. This is why the practitioner must be in a strictly balanced state before performing this degree of projective empathetic magickal work.

2. Identification: Identify the energy you’re choosing to access. Think about how you will access that specific energetic force and how you will utilize empathy to transform one vibration into another.

3. Divination: Perform some type of divination on the magickal work to assess whether or not this is a good time to proceed. Consider whether the work you wish to achieve is ethical and appropriate. Reconsider your approach if need be.

4. Preparation: Plan your magickal methodology. Everybody’s methods are different. Some people may work best by performing in-depth visualization while seated under a tree. Other practitioners may prefer to align their magick with the astrological cycle and the phases of the moon. Some may choose to cast a circle of protection and invoke specific elements, spirits, or deities. Some may use certain types of incense, herbs, stones, music, words of power, or ritual tools. However you choose to work, ensure that you will not be disturbed in any way.

5. Crafting a Focus: Create a shrine, altar, effigy, or other type of representation of the recipient. This will help you focus your energy, even if the focal tool is something as simple as a photo and a candle. The point is to create a successful energetic link between yourself and your focal recipient. Also, decide what you will do with your shrine and the esoteric representations after you have performed your ritual. Perhaps you’ll burn, bury, or sink the items to seal the magickal work. Maybe you’ll use them to create a magically charged piece of art. Plan all of your steps in advance.

6. Step Back from the Self: Magickal work is fueled by emotions. If you are performing magick of this nature, you are likely to feel passionate about the cause, issue, or individual you are focusing on. You may already do work in everyday life to help victims or to stop victimizers, or you may be making plans to do so. However, to successfully practice magickal empathic transmutation from a distance, you will need to consciously step back from your own emotions in order to access and transform those of the recipient. Do this by bringing your cognitive mind to the forefront: gain a clear picture of your goal and the steps of your magickal work. Remember, during this type of magickal work you are only the catalyst. By momentarily disconnecting from your own emotions, and only for the duration of your ritual, it will ensure your own emotional safety and greater magickal success for the person or issue you are aiming to emotionally transform.

7. Create Sacred Space: Begin your magick by creating a sacred space in the manner you are accustomed to. I recommend performing the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram, casting a magick circle, or creating a protective sphere of visualized energy. Do what feels best and follow your intuition. Additionally, ask for the spiritual protection of your own ancestors, guides, gods, and guardians.

8. Accessing the Other: When you feel that you have established your personal energy, call forth the energy of the recipient. For example, if your goal is to access and transform the emotion of shame that a fundamentalist pastor is throwing on a group of people, you can call forth the pastor’s own ancestors and spirit guides. You can communicate with them and humbly ask for assistance in your magickal work. You may additionally call upon a spirit or deity whose qualities include nurturing and universal love.

9. Empathizing with the Other: When you have determined that you are ready, step into the emotions of your recipient. Practice receptive empathy by trying to understand and feel the emotions that surround the recipient, even if they are terribly dark. For example, if your objective is to help transform political terrorism, access the group mind of those terrorists and try to empathize with their plight (this step can be exceedingly difficult, so please prepare accordingly). Perhaps you realize that these individuals come from horrific childhood conditions, are victims of extremist peer pressure, and have a desire for tribal kinship, even if it’s rooted in malevolence. On the other hand, if you are choosing to tap into the emotions of someone who is a victim, such as individuals affected by a natural disaster, you may craft your magick to tap into their distress, fear, and grief so that you can help transform some of those darker emotions into a bit of hope and strength.

10. Empathic Transmutation: Once you have empathically accessed the emotions of the recipient, your duty now is to transform those difficult states you have accessed. Now that you are sitting with those emotions, use your projective empathy to first transform those emotions within yourself and then immediately project them toward the recipient. Keep in mind that receptive empathic energies enter through the left side of your body and projective empathic energies exit from the right side. Feel the negative emotion and actively transform it within yourself while you project it outward toward the recipient. By quickly and efficiently alchemizing these emotional states, you will thereby serve as the magickal catalyst and will not absorb any residual energies.

11. Emotionally Shifting: An ideal way to transmute the destructive emotion you’ve aligned with is to pretend to have a realization. For example, if you’re targeting the emotions of an abusive person (or the energy of abusive people in general), you would invoke that person’s own emotional fear and wounds (step 9, “Empathizing with the Other”) and then ritually “wake up” from the destructive emotions by having a mock realization or epiphany. This energy would then be projected onto the recipient, thus making them more likely to have their own real epiphany and change their behavior as they discover self-awareness and healing.

12. Projecting the New Emotion: You’ve already begun the work of empathetic transmutation, so now you have to give it a good and final send-off. Use strong visualization, body movements, the repetition of words (speak your intention if you’d like), and other methods of empathically projecting the emotional transmutation onto the recipient. Focus on the shrine or representation of the recipient. Take as long as you need to transmute the energy of fear into love, shame into acceptance, desperation into solace, aggression into amity, or any other destructive emotion into a positive emotion. This is the heart of the magick.

13. Declaration of Transformation: Now that you have empathically transformed a piece of the recipient’s emotional energy, vocally declare this to them by using your focal point or shrine. For example, state, “Your emotions were like this: ______, but now they are like this: ______. You now realize ______,” and so on. Modify your declaration based on the work you’ve set out to do. Don’t be limited to a script; it’s likely that you will get new empathic or psychic impressions about the recipient during the “Accessing the Other” portion (step 8) of the ceremony.

14. Telling the Spirits: Declare your magickal work to any spirits you may have summoned (both yours and the recipient’s). Make it known that you have actively helped transform a piece of emotional energy into something more progressive. Declare what you wish the long-term result to be, asking the spirits to assist the recipient with their transformation. Take deep breaths and bring your awareness back to yourself. Realize that this magickal work is for the greater good of all involved and that it may also help certain individuals in learning their life lessons at a faster rate.

15. Empathic Double-Check: As the ritual comes to a close, ensure that you do not carry any of the negative emotions you’ve alchemized as the catalyst. This is why you emotionally stepped back for the purpose of your ritual. It can be enormously dangerous to leave the ritual with the darker emotions you’ve accessed. You should come entirely back to yourself and feel grounded before concluding. Ideally you will feel a sense of relief and peace from performing this important work. Don’t forget to smile and to embody some of the new, positive emotions that you helped create in the recipient. If absolutely necessary, allow yourself to cry as an emotional release. (If you still are carrying some of those darker emotions, recognize that they have not been entirely transformed. Continue your empathic transmutation and declaration of purpose until you know that you have empathically transformed and projected a new emotional energy toward the recipient.)

16. Releasing: Give thanks to all of the spirits and entities you have summoned to assist in your work. You may choose to leave appropriate offerings for them. Take some time to empathically project gratitude. Close the circle or bid the energies to depart in the manner you’re accustomed to. Smudge yourself, take a saltwater bath, drink some cleansing tea, and ensure that you have replenished your personal emotional energy after the ceremony. Become absolutely and entirely mindful of yourself energetically and emotionally.

17. Following Up: Now that you have empathically accessed and transformed a piece of the recipient’s emotional energy, remember that whenever the issue arises in your conscious mind, you can send a quick burst of the new, alchemized emotion in the direction of the recipient. This will help reinforce the magick you’ve already performed. Conclude by following up the ritual with real-world activism to help perpetuate positive change.

IN PRACTICE
Empathic Deity Alignment

Many metaphysical practitioners believe that gods and goddesses are defined and refined by social definitions. If one culture adopts a god from another, they will naturally ascribe culturally significant characteristics and attributes to their images. When deities travel across cultures, they become merged with similar deities and may absorb a plethora of associations distinct from their culture of origin. In this way, deities evolve and take form based on the social milieu, such as the needs of the community and their local flora, fauna, and indigenous traditions.

As modern practitioners, we have the option to align ourselves with virtually any spiritual force in the world. If we are choosing to work with deities from foreign cultures, we must respectfully syncretize our practices to fit that astral imprint, or egregore. It’s wise to spend quite a long time researching the histories and cultural observations surrounding any given deity we’re choosing to work with. We may choose to incorporate deity-specific art or scripture, meditation or dance, fasting or revelry. Through our research, we can discover the types of offerings and tools the deity or spirit prefers. We can choose to integrate a foreign language and may even devote ourselves to performing that deity’s work “on the ground,” in the real world, through charitable acts, creative projects, functional demeanors, or other characteristics embodied by the chosen spiritual force.

It’s actually quite easy for empathic practitioners to align themselves with a chosen deity. As discussed throughout this chapter, we can alter our own vibrations to match the energies we’re inviting into our sphere. By utilizing empathy to align with deities, we are in fact practicing partial invocation. Invocation refers to the drawing down of a spirit or god into one’s own body for the purpose of communication and divination and is a shamanistic practice as old as humanity itself. I discuss concepts and processes of deity invocation, spiritual possession, aspecting, and godform assumption in my book Shadow Magick Compendium.

While my advice can easily be carried into full invocations for those who are seasoned in the practice, the partial invocation I suggest here is solitary. Be sure you have a clear intention for calling upon the deity you’re inviting. Ensure that you are resolute in your determination to utilize a specific cultural representation of that deity; after all, the ol’ Catholic version of Saint Barbara is much different from the one you’ll find in Santería!

Unless you’re already versed culturally and historically regarding the god(s) you’d like to work with, be sure to deeply familiarize yourself with who they are before you invoke them. A deity’s various mythologies, artistic symbolism, culture of origin, and history of worship must all be taken into consideration. Treat your chosen deity as you would a valued guest in your home or ritual space. Approach them with respect, humility, and amicability. Consider the reasons why you’re calling upon them and the ways you’ll communicate with them. Prepare culturally relevant offerings, incenses, personal petitions or spells, and any tools that will help you align with their unique astral energies.

Decide which idol or image you’ll be utilizing as a focal tool; maybe you have a statue of the deity, a printed image, or even a sketch. You do not need to use an idol or image of the deity to call upon their presence, but for our purposes it can be greatly beneficial. When you call upon the god, dress yourself up to match their image (called guising) and modify your body language to match theirs.

For example, sometimes when I am performing yoga at home, I will take a few moments to modify my body language to match the pose of the murti (idol) of Shiva Nataraja on the hearth shrine. Try as I might, I can’t summon a burning ring of fire nor grow extra arms, but I can match his image to the best of my ability by balancing on my right foot, making the abhaya mudra with my right hand, and so on. I will keep myself in Shiva’s “cosmic dance” posture for an extended period of time and perform the appropriate mantras, prayers, and meditations while I invite his essence to merge with my own. (This is a type of Tantric Ishta Devata meditation.) When I match my body to his, I do not directly mirror the image; if I did that, I would be in a different position. Nataraja’s lower right hand is raised in mudra, so if I were to practice mirroring, my left hand would instead be raised and my position would become inaccurate.

Craft your own ceremony designed for your unique sacred purpose. Commune with your god or goddess as respectfully as possible and make it known why you are mimicking their posture; declare that it is not an act of mockery but of empathy. As you slip into an altered state of meditative consciousness, invite their essence into your body in order to experience this unique style of empathetic spiritual communion. Note these experiences in your journal or Book of Shadows.

EMPATHIC CONTEMPLATION
Drugs and Mind-Altering Substances

Drugs of all varieties have a rich history spiritually, socially, psychologically, and politically, the intricacies of which are far too vast to delve into here and now.

Drugs of all types affect every empath and every person differently. While it goes without saying that harsh recreational drugs tend to produce more harm than benefit for an empath, it’s important to mention various drugs as forces of society.

One of society’s most common drugs is alcohol. Many people find that a small amount of alcohol can momentarily increase empathic ability because of the substance’s effect on the brain and thus one’s consciousness and perception. With alcohol, social inhibitions decline, as does a person’s ability to accurately perceive. This is why some people who have social anxiety prefer to have a drink before going in public—although please note that self-medication can be dangerous, especially if alcohol is involved. (It’s also interesting to note that many empaths, as well as psychic vampires, report feeling drunk or high “by proxy” if they are speaking with or merely standing next to someone who is drunk or high, even if they themselves are sober!)

Though psychic perceptions (the mental realm) may dull due to alcohol, a person’s emotions and emotional centers can become heightened, depending on the person and their unique psychological and physiological makeup. It’s not that one “becomes” more empathetic with drink, but that one may be more willing to explore their emotions due to the brain’s reaction to the substance. The neurotransmitters affected by alcohol can create a perception of social revelations and other “false breakthroughs” due to the person’s increased ability to concentrate while dulling their ability to see the bigger picture. If a person is actually drunk, their emotions can be subjected to big highs and big lows, creating emotional unpredictability and instability. A person’s feelings can teeter-totter between extreme empathy and extreme apathy when alcohol is in the picture. Empaths need to be especially careful with alcohol because it can dull the empathic senses tremendously, depending on the dose and setting, and can give the illusion of a deeper empathic connection or personal epiphany. This can result in emotional carelessness and a lack of mindfulness, as well as depression in the wake of the euphoria. Depending on the person, small amounts of alcohol can be successfully consumed for communion with others or within a ritualistic setting, but the alcoholic hedonism promoted in modern culture serves to divide more than to unite.

Marijuana’s effects on the body are considerably healthier than those of alcohol. Many psychics and empaths enjoy marijuana’s effects because of its ability to relax the body, slow the brain, and increase personal creativity. Many users find the substance not only spiritually uplifting, which is not surprising because of cannabis’s rich spiritual history, but also physically healing. The number of disorders, diseases, and pain conditions that marijuana has successfully treated are far too numerous to name here. This miracle plant (and its utilitarian brother, the hemp plant) continue to have profoundly positive effects for millions of people worldwide. However, it’s best for each person to discover their own personal preferences, limits, and body-mind chemistry. Anything from the strain of weed to the way in which it’s ingested can have a different effect mentally and physically, as no one reacts in the same way to the same thing.

Doctor Richard Alpert, PhD, better known as Baba Ram Dass, was once a Harvard professor who academically experimented with hallucinogens alongside Timothy Leary in the late 1950s. From his studies of test subjects who ingested a dose of psilocybin (found naturally in the “magick mushroom”), he discovered that the majority of subjects experienced a profound increase in empathy by way of realizing the spiritual connectedness between oneself and others. These subjects, like Ram Dass, experienced the annihilation of “separateness” between oneself and others, which was one mark along his path of becoming a full-fledged guru and founder of the Hanuman Foundation. For those of a sound mental state, Dass believed (as do I) that a small amount of psilocybin in a controlled set and setting (good mindset, good surroundings) can lead to awakenings in empathic connectivity and spiritual communion. Babaji’s mind-blowing artistic book Be Here Now remains a cornerstone for those bridging the scientific and the spiritual, the Western and the Eastern, the sober and the psychedelic. To quote my magickal sister Stephanya, “Be Here Now continually amazes me. I look at it and rejoice that such a beautiful thing can spring from the brain of a human being!”

Another individual who embarked on revolutionary psychedelic research at Harvard alongside Baba Ram Dass and Timothy Leary was Ralph Metzner. Like Babaji, Metzner went on to pursue consciousness research, Eastern spirituality, and various forms of shamanism, as well as to write a number of books. He also co-founded the Green Earth Foundation and is considered a highly influential figure in the emergence of modern psychedelic consciousness that began in the 1960s. Metzner was the first to coin the term empathogen to refer to a certain set of chemical drugs whose affects include a marked empathetic increase in an individual. Another term used for empathogen is entactogen. By far the most common example of this is methylenedioxymethamphetamine (MDMA: ecstasy/molly), which has been utilized in certain forms of psychotherapy since its creation. In fact, the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS) has shown that MDMA can both treat and cure even the most severe cases of PTSD by demonstrating profound psychological healing in war veterans and other traumatized individuals.23 These psychospiritual benefits are a far cry from this drug’s reputation as a mere party favor.

There are, of course, various legal and social stigmas concerning these sorts of drugs—a fear that’s in place because so many people misuse and abuse sacred substances—as well as the fact that both national governments and black markets make money hand over fist perpetuating an ineffective “war on drugs.” Despite corrupt governmental control, a variety of psychedelics have been demonstrated to increase empathic capacity and to help people process trauma, anxiety, and depression if used wisely and approached as medicines rather than drugs. And let’s not forget the role of big pharmaceutical companies in keeping down the use of “benign” drugs for the sake of corporate gain. I truly hope that scientists will work to overcome these barriers and will choose to revive empathogenic research concerning how these substances can have potentially life-changing effects on illnesses such as depression, anxiety, and PTSD—and even perhaps on psychopathy and sociopathy.

CHAPTER MEDITATION:
Alchemizing Wounds with Baphomet

Baphomet by Eliphas Lévi

All right, I admit it. One of the reasons I’m proud to display this sketch of the magnificent deity known as Baphomet is because I know that his very image is likely to scare off at least a handful of white-lighters who are prone to occult prejudice. That’s perfectly fine with me. Part of this deity’s magick is his ability to intensely alchemize and transform energies; therefore, filtering is just part of the alchemical process. For readers who are more legitimately empathetic, an image of something darkly unique should not create an aversive or fearful response, but one of curiosity—not to mention empaths are the last folks who will judge a book by its cover.

Many readers are undoubtedly familiar with Baphomet (usually pronounced “Baa-foe-mett”), but for those who aren’t—and who haven’t been deterred by his unconventional appearance—please note that he is not related to Satan from Christian mythology. Instead, Baphomet can be seen as the great cosmic alchemist. The nineteenth-century French magician and author Eliphas Lévi popularized the image and idea of Baphomet as the embodiment of astral light or etheric energy by which the effects of all magickal operations are conducted. Lévi is perhaps the most important figure in the modern revival of ceremonial magick, and it is his own sketch of Baphomet that has become known to modern occultists.

Like that of any other deity, Baphomet’s detailed image is abundant with spiritual and occult significance. His image seems to be an amalgam of various old Pagan gods (Pan, Cernunnos, etc.) and is similar to the Tarot card XV: The Devil. This Tarot card is also partially based on these older deities. According to Lévi, Baphomet’s goat head represents the material sins of the onlooker; he’s designed to seem intense and perceptively soul-penetrating. With the words solve et coagula on his arms, which are Latin for “dissolve and coagulate,” we are reminded of the alchemical process of separating, purifying, and recombining substances or energies. Baphomet is an alchemical symbol of enlightenment.

We see Baphomet’s right hand pointing to the white moon of Chesed from the esoteric Qabalistic Tree of Life, while his left hand points to the black moon of Geburah: a combination of mercy and severity. Between the horns of this occult sphinx is the flame of intelligence, symbolizing spiritual illumination and the transcendence of materialism. Similarly, the pentagram on his forehead is upright, symbolizing the elevation of spirit over matter. Baphomet’s wings link him to the birds of the air, his scales to the fish of the oceans, and his cloven hooves to earthbound creatures great and small.

Baphomet is also an ideal deity to work with for people who identify as genderqueer, transgender, third-gendered, or intersex. While we call Baphomet “he” for the sake of convenience, the deity is really hermaphroditic. With breasts and a rod, which represents the phallus, Baphomet both combines and transcends masculine and feminine polarities. The phallic rod also shows two intertwining snakes, being emblematic of the caduceus, the healing wand of the Greek god Hermes. Hermes is now aligned with Mercury in the ancient Roman pantheon and Thoth in the ancient Egyptian pantheon.

As we have explored, we empaths have the responsibility to heal ourselves to the best of our ability. While much of this chapter has focused on providing magickal empathic transmutation for others, this particular meditative ritual is aimed at providing healing for oneself. You may repeat this meditation anytime it feels right.

During this working, we will invite the presence of Baphomet to help us alchemize internal emotional wounds to dissolve negative feelings and coagulate the positivity of hope. Everybody has emotional wounds of some nature, and ceremonies like this can help complement the process of personal healing. As a complementary procedure, it is not the be-all and end-all. Please keep in mind that very deep and traumatic wounds should be worked through with a registered therapist or counselor.

While many readers will perform these steps to help work through old wounds, some readers will prefer to utilize this meditation to help them transmute their own aggression, depression, judgments, and negative emotions. Others will use the ritual to offer up emotions that have been “empathed” and need to be given back to the universe. As always, use your intuition to determine how you need to tailor the ritual to safely and effectively meet your own needs and find your balance.

Because Baphomet is aligned with Capricorn, it’s best to perform this working when the moon is in this sign. Additional astrological alignments can include planetary placements in the signs of Virgo and Gemini, because Mercury rules them both. Mercury aligns with Baphomet’s position as an alchemical deity and with his symbolic caduceus of Hermes. Because this ritual represents transformation, it’s ideal to perform the ceremony at dawn or dusk. These ideas are only suggestions and not requirements.

1. Procure an effigy of Baphomet. You may wish to get a statue, print a photo, or even create your own sketch based on the original.

2. Begin by making a list in your journal or Book of Shadows of the various emotional wounds you would like to work on. This may include wounding experiences from childhood, from your teenage years, or from your recent past. You may choose to work on one emotional wound or a series of them, depending on your experience and what your intuition advises.

3. Seat yourself comfortably in front of the image of Baphomet. Hold a black obsidian stone to assist with emotional transformation. If you are working specifically with memories from past lives, burn eucalyptus leaves as incense or wear some diluted essential oil of eucalyptus. If you’re able, light one black candle and one white candle on either side of the deity’s image.

4. If it is your habit, cast a magick circle, summon the elements, or otherwise create sacred space.

5. With dim lighting and a quiet environment, take deep breaths and close your eyelids just enough to gaze at Baphomet’s image. Continue to take deep breaths for as long as you need, looking him in the eyes, until you feel that your mind is clear from external thoughts. If your mind wanders, bring your focus back to contemplating the esoteric symbolism of this majestic deity.

6. When it feels right, imagine your own astral essence merging with Baphomet’s energy. Put the piece of obsidian in your lap while you raise your right hand and lower your left hand in the same manner as Baphomet. (Remember that you are not creating a mirror image because your hands would then be opposite.)

7. Ask for Baphomet to come bless your meditation. Repeat his name and feel his presence. Use your own words to humbly ask this profound alchemical sphinx to lend his magick to your own. Declare your intentions to Baphomet. Inform him of your purpose. Continue until you palpably feel that his presence has entered the effigy.

8. When you feel ready, close your eyes and bring to mind the emotional wound you’re aiming to transmute with Baphomet’s assistance (or, if you are working with a past-life memory, bring to mind your negative emotions in general; or, if you are simply offering up overwhelming emotions that you have recently “empathed,” now is the time to focus on these energies). If you feel called to the task, consider making a written list of these traumas; burn this list at Baphomet’s feet so that he can help you alchemize these feelings into forces of healing.

9. Recall the incident and try to exercise acceptance both for yourself and anyone else who may have been involved in creating that emotional wound. Remember that the wound occurred in the past and should remain in the past. Most importantly, exercise compassion, forgiveness, and empathy toward yourself.

10. Speak to your former self. Talk to the image of yourself that sits in your mind. You may be talking to yourself as a child or an adult; it all depends on the time the wound was created in your life. Empathize with yourself and see your perspective of the issue at the time that it occurred. Speak aloud to your former self, addressing yourself by name and feeling the negative emotions of the incident to the best of your ability.

11. When you feel that you’ve reached the peak of empathizing with your emotional wound, open your eyes fully and, using your right hand, project this emotional essence from the right side of your body toward Baphomet’s feet. As you do this, envision the emotions flowing in a constant stream toward his image while you simultaneously repeat, “Baphomet, alchemize these wounds,” or something similar.

12. Continue this process with other wounds, emotions, or memories you may wish for him to help you work on. Again, this process is only one step in the path of healing. Take your time with this magick and go at a safe, balanced pace. Do not wear yourself out emotionally.

13. Finish by coming back to the present moment, taking deep breaths, and lowering your hands. However, if any painful emotional residual energies exist, offer those energies to Baphomet before you conclude the ceremony. If you cry, feel free to wipe the tears on his feet. Surrender your emotional wounds so they can continue to be healed. Talk to Baphomet as you would to a dear friend and valued guest. Baphomet is there to help you on the path toward greater enlightenment. He does not approach you with judgment, but with acute perception and proficiency.

14. Give offerings and thanks to Baphomet, and give him license to depart. Offer gratitude in your own way and invite him to return to his astral terrain. Take a heartfelt bow. If you feel moved to leave offerings, the most heartfelt offerings are appropriate. Personally, I tend to offer him rum, apples, incense, and sexual fluids. Again, use your intuition and treat him like a valued guest and friend.

15. When you’re ready to conclude, lie down on the ground and perform visualizations to replenish your energy. Take as long as you need to envision cosmic light descending from the heavens while you simultaneously invoke healing terrestrial energies to ascend from the rich earth beneath you. Draw the astral essence into your body simultaneously from Mother Earth and Father Sky. When you feel as though these energies have replenished your emotional centers, declare, “As above, so below. Solve et coagula!”

16. Take down the circle and/or give thanks to the spirits as you normally would. Record your magickal work and observations in your journal or Book of Shadows, and contemplate additional ways that you could heal these emotional wounds so that you can become the most balanced and self-aware empath possible.

[contents]

21. E. A. Koetting, Baneful Magick (2008), chapter 1.

22. Andrew Boyd, “The Agony of Being Connected to Everything in the Universe,” http://andrewboyd.com/the-agony-of-being-connected-to-everything-in-the-universe.

23. See www.maps.org/research/mdma.

CHAPTER VII

Empathic Healing
& Social Service

“Empaths are drawn to professions and careers that reflect their essence as people who can readily absorb and change energy: the triad of translating, transmuting, and transducing. Empaths may serve as translators—literally and qualitatively. In the workplace, you may take one set of information and make a translation for another group. You try to help those in different situations find the same language, to come to an understanding—mediators, managers, counselors. Empaths facilitate transmutation, changing energy as in helping others to let go of one feeling and allowing another. They can also transduce energy, softening intense feelings by finding another way of speaking or sharing a principle in more subtle ways.”

—Elisabeth Y. Fitzhugh, Dancers Between Realms:
Empath Energy, Beyond Empathy

EMPATHIC ANECDOTE

A Case of Mutual Pathfinding

I feel that I owe a lot of my personal success and happiness to my biological family. When I use the word “success”, I speak in terms of personal fulfillment, confidence, and inspiration to make a difference. I realize that everyone is born into a different family structure and is raised with varying sets of dynamics. Though no familial situation is without its challenges, I have been lucky enough to experience encouragement and support in my upbringing. I am grateful to have a relatively painless background, and I feel that much of my ability to openly embrace empathy—and to live the role of a Priest without reservation—is because of my family’s encouragement.

When I was in my twenties, my mother was working as a wholesale distributor of various products from Australia. As a result, she traveled to different conventions and gatherings to promote the products and make connections. One of the conventions she frequented was the International New Age Trade Show (INATS) in Denver, Colorado. I had the pleasure of going along to take a vacation in a bigger city and to see what this industry was all about. This convention was filled with metaphysical practitioners of all varieties, including authors, store owners, and publishers. These inspirational interactions alongside familial encouragement fueled my own path as an aspiring writer.

At the same time, my mother was going through her own transformation. She was hearing it from all sides: various intuitive practitioners and myself were telling her that she was a natural healer and could easily develop these abilities. To me, this made sense not only because of the empathy she inspired in my own life but also because my friends and acquaintances had long commented on her kind and uplifting presence.

Despite these praises, her own lack of self-esteem was getting in the way and was likely a product of her own negative experiences from the past. We are, after all, our own worst critics. It didn’t help that the economy was in a downturn and she was faced with the need to make hard decisions and open new doors of experience. Further down the road, my mother became drawn to reflexology as a healing practice. This alternative healing method, which is related in part to Chinese methods of whole-body healing, sees areas on the hands, feet, and ears as corresponding to different parts of the physical body. By focusing pressure on these points, it is believed that certain areas of the body can enter a state of self-healing while qi (chi) is conducted through the body, similar to acupuncture. In addition to becoming a certified professional reflexologist, my mom trained as a Reiki practitioner (and a very skilled one at that). In my younger days she refused to think of herself as metaphysically inclined, but given time and leaps of faith, she has been able to spring into her talents with great success and now considers herself a facilitator of the healing process.

Clients now leave her appointments feeling renewed, rejuvenated, and balanced. Her inherent talents are put to use by helping those who are in great need of the empathy and energetic healing the sessions create. By receiving regular energy work and readings herself, my mom is able to stay in a state of healthy balance despite life’s abundant obligations, including tending to wee grandchildren and assisting her own mother who is nearing one hundred years old—go, Grandma!

Life is a process of co-creation and mutual influences. Empathy begets empathy and helps encourage others to love themselves and see their abilities with greater clarity. If we can allow ourselves to develop healthy confidence and follow our talents, we can all get to a place of empowerment without our ego becoming overly involved. We can choose to believe in ourselves and follow our callings even if our shadow tells us otherwise. This is a process of more closely aligning with our True Will or personal dharma: the unique path in life we are each meant to travel. By taking a chance and following the signs, we can encourage others to do the same and can help bring the planet to a place of greater healing.

✴ ✴ ✴

Counseling, Healing, and Divining

As we consciously and gracefully work with our gifts, our experience of life becomes more motivating than draining. From this platform, we seek to inspire the joys of empathy and equanimity in other people. Not every empathic person is called to provide public healing services in an official capacity, but many most definitely are. Empaths have a natural proclivity to help others in need in one way or another because, frankly, we know how much suffering sucks—no one should have to suffer in life. Truly empathetic people make amazing counselors, therapists, healers, guides, and friends because it’s part of our inherent responsibility to help other people (as well as ourselves) transmute—alchemize, if you will—negative, harmful energies into progressive paradigms of experience.

The Bodhicharyavatara (The Way of the Bodhisattva) is credited to Shantideva, an eighth-century Indian teacher of Mahayana Buddhism. The Bodhisattva Virtues of Tibetan Buddhism expound on the knowledge of dukkha (unsatisfactoriness), which leads to the repetitive cycle of samsara (suffering). This can be alleviated by adhering to the arising bodhicitta (the awakening mind), which observes the necessity of helping all sentient beings become free from suffering. A well-known vow of the bodhisattva is that one will choose to give up their soul’s own nirvana (also called moksha or kaivalya: liberation) to reincarnate on the earth plane in order to help others until all beings are free from suffering.

Buddhist thought encourages the view that everything in reality influences everything else because all things are interconnected. If I hurt another person, animal, or environment, I am actually bringing pain to myself. Just the same, if someone or something is experiencing suffering, I will want to help alleviate their pain just as I would my own. In the case of empathic healing, the pain of another person, animal, or environment is undesirable because it can be felt on a spiritual level and because empathy in its highest expression longs for others to be free from their suffering. Because of this, it requires some sort of healing or alleviating intervention. The Sanskrit term seva (or sewa) permeates virtually all religions of India and refers to selfless service that benefits the lives of others without thinking of how it can benefit the volunteer.

To quote astrologer Rob Brezsny from his masterful book Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings, which I fully recommend to you and everyone you know (alongside Be Here Now by Ram Dass), “The level of one’s spiritual wisdom, I believe, is more accurately measured by helping people in need than by meditation skills, shamanic shapeshifting, supernatural powers, or esoteric knowledge.” 24

You get to choose the lens with which you see the world. Your perception influences your happiness, your health, and your relations. You have the capability, if not responsibility, to empathically uplift yourself and others at any given opportunity. If at any time this seems impossible, choose to actively pursue your own healing in order to find your balance and become holistically realigned.

Know Your Intentions

If we perform healing work in any capacity, it’s of the utmost importance to be aware of our intentions. Why do we really want to work in service to the public? We must examine the ins and outs of our public service from every angle. We must be honest with ourselves. To what extent do we wish to better other people’s lives and improve the world? To what extent do we wish to gain approval or benefit financially?

It can take years to study any given method of public service; it may require apprenticing, schooling, or another type of training accreditation, but it doesn’t have to, as many people are self-taught, depending on the field. In the case of spiritual services, I recommend practicing the skill for years on a pro bono or donation basis before charging any type of fee. As we hone our skills without the pressure of money or trade, it reminds us of the real reason for the work: to help others in life. When a practitioner has gotten to a level of skill that could feasibly (or legally) be considered professional, it’s a good idea to have a set fee for the services. This fee, however, may be open to modification depending on a client’s individual situation. For example, if a person is in genuine need but is not able to reciprocate financially, I will perform a house cleansing or Tarot reading for some small exchange (usually for another service or for some red wine!). Whatever the case, some sort of energetic reciprocation should occur. If practitioners exclusively give away their services, they will often find themselves feeling burnt out or used. It’s important to discover what works best for you and fits your individual needs while simultaneously instigating a true healing process in others.

Compassion fatigue is a term becoming known in fields of caregiving, counseling, and medical professions. Even occupations like retail work and foodservice can give rise to compassion fatigue because these jobs require employees to maintain a certain people-pleasing demeanor. The Compassion Fatigue Awareness Project even has a website (www.compassionfatigue.org) and publications to help caregivers who are experiencing the phenomenon. “Caring too much can hurt,” says the website’s introduction. “When caregivers focus on others without practicing self-care, destructive behaviors can surface. Apathy, isolation, bottled up emotions and substance abuse head a long list of symptoms associated with the secondary traumatic stress disorder now labeled compassion fatigue.”

It’s tragically ironic that apathy and its accompanying (in)actions are the intuitive response to compassion fatigue and empathic burnout. It can be stressful to care. Sometimes it hurts to care. And while we have the responsibility to extend our compassion to the best of our abilities, we must be mindful of our personal and professional limits. Those individuals whom we help will not always express gratitude. In professions that require us to deal with difficult people on a regular basis, it’s easy to feel as though our assistance isn’t amounting to anything worthwhile, even if we understand rationally that this isn’t the case. Empaths who regularly work with challenging parties can benefit from techniques given in this book and similar books and from information provided at www.compassionfatigue.org.

Know Your Limits

It’s vital that we be aware of not only our own talents but also our own limits. By constantly working on developing self-awareness and by learning from experience, we can discover our own unique talents versus those that should be left for other practitioners. We must be aware of the extent of our abilities. Ethically speaking, if a person were to offer me $5,000 and an all-expenses-paid trip to Belize in return for my performing mediumship to contact their deceased relative, I couldn’t do it—not karmically, not ethically, and certainly not accurately. Instead, because mediumship is not something I’m personally skilled at or trained in, I would refer them to a reliable, authentic medium who could accurately meet their needs, regardless of any temptation to breach ethical standards for personal gain.

The more honest and humble we can be with ourselves, the more accurate and helpful our public services can become. As we grow in self-awareness, we become more able to see the intentions and perspectives of other people. We humans are not all that different from one another. It’s by knowing ourselves that we can come to know and assist others. By knowing how and why the world can be empathically overwhelming, we can actively assist other awakening empaths through their own experiences.

Watching documentaries and reading books about various life issues, even if they don’t particularly interest you personally, is vital when working with a wide array of individuals. Whether it’s a documentary about grieving, mental disorders, or government policies, or whether it’s a book about human psychology, childbirth, or world history, every source worth its salt has something to teach—and odds are that you’ll put that knowledge into action with a future client. Develop your mind through education, I say, and activate as many brain cells as possible! To know the world and one another is to know ourselves.

Meet Your Needs

We’ve got to have our own needs met when dealing with the public in any sort of healing capacity, plain and simple. We shouldn’t try to help others when we know we’re imbalanced or having a bad day. Heck, there have been times when I’ve taken a month off from reading Tarot or performing public metaphysical services because I needed to recharge and have services performed on me in order to function at full capacity. That’s just how it goes sometimes.

Empaths really do care about the wellbeing of others (even if we slip up sometimes), and this compassion can be reinforced through a regular spiritual practice and a constant search for humble self-awareness. We must extend kindness to ourselves by taking a break when we need it and by improving our own holistic health on a daily basis. One thing I will say to myself if I’m feeling imbalanced is, “If a client were feeling the way I am feeling now, what would I recommend to them?” In other words, let’s take our own advice instead of letting ourselves be the exception to the rule.

It’s common for highly empathetic people who are instructors, teachers, coaches, leaders, or healing practitioners to be constantly questioning their abilities and second-guessing themselves. To some degree this is healthy, but to a high degree it’s damaging. As with everything, we must find our balance in any given situation and with any given train of thought. To an imbalanced empathic leader, any minor criticism or question can be cause for massive insecurity and anxiety. This is dangerous because if this social openness goes uncontrolled, external negative opinions can wreak emotional havoc on an empath who is both well-meaning and socially influential. An empath who is influencing and educating others may even choose to stop being a leader or teacher altogether simply because the self-doubt has become too burdensome; this must be avoided because our skills are deeply needed in this world!

In order to stop this from happening, we must remember that the call to perform educational or healing work is a dharmic and spiritual calling. Insecurity and judgments are spiritual roadblocks that are meant to be understood, overcome, and powered through. If you have a calling toward educational and healing work, it is for a reason. It’s a calling that transcends our sensitive egos. We must believe in our abilities and talents and make sure that our confidence is kept radiant and healthy. Everyone has room for improvement, sure, but we must grow a thicker skin when it comes to social interactions. Judgments will occur; it’s a natural part of human experience. Rather than seeing slip-ups or criticisms as fearful enemies, we must see them as opportunities to enhance our abilities by teaching us something about ourselves.

It’s also good to note that not every social judgment is accurate. It’s all too easy to take things personally. We must be aware of our emotions, our thoughts, and the strength of our abilities so we don’t become affected by every little passing criticism. We can take things into account and constantly work on ourselves without necessarily buying into every criticism. We can be self-reflective without being self-destructive. Let’s always keep in mind the original reasons we’ve been called to provide public service.

Empathic Spiritual Services

Every empath performs their healings and consultations differently; there is no single form of “empathic healing,” because empathy is a factor that permeates the work we do and the people we choose to be. Empathic healing can take the form of anything from deep, soul-stirring shamanic work to emotionally constructive conversations over tea. Empathic healing is not restricted to a service itself, but empathy should epitomize our practice if we are called to help others in an official manner.

When I give Tarot consultations, for example, I allow my mind and my words to interpret the emotions I’m experiencing. By stepping into the client’s worldview, I can get a grasp on the words and tools that can best assist the client. Through a process of mentally interpreting the emotions that are present, I can more accurately read the cards and discover which messages are being communicated in the session.

It seems reasonable to say that spiritual counseling itself is empathetic by default; otherwise, the communication is merely intellectual and based in the mind (sympathy), not the heart (empathy). In the empathic experience, emotional transference is occurring. Empathic healing can occur in metaphysical healing sessions, within therapy, and within compassionate daily communication. Consultations and healing practices of all varieties are methods whereby fellow seekers can help find their balance.

The purpose of empathic healing, in any of its guises, is to help the other person release emotional blockages that are preventing them from experiencing happiness, fulfillment, self-confidence, or what have you. Emotional issues are quite often at the root of physical ailments and mental chaos. Realizing and processing difficult emotional states and attachments is a profoundly spiritual thing; a person’s emotional responses influence their whole life.

You must do everything you can to get on a good frequency. You are an emotional catalyst. Whatever you are tapped into, those emotions become amplified by the surrounding emotional energy and both local and global emotions of the same vibration. Whatever you experience is emotionally amplified, so the necessity for personal emotional balance cannot be understated.

Regardless of how you integrate empathy into your approach to healing, counseling, divining, and the like, ensure that you don’t get too overwhelmed by picking up other people’s “stuff” in the process. Common techniques of cleansing and purification are useful, if not necessary, after leading a powerful session of any type, but during the course of the session itself, it’s wise not to step too far into the reality of the other person. For example, I was talking with a friend of mine about his massages and shaman-influenced healing methods. He was finding it difficult to shake the energies, imprints, and even spirits that he would sometimes collect from clients during sessions. It turned out that his primary issue was that he would get too deep into a session, surrendering his own awareness in order to enter the client’s. By not stepping back and clearing the energy, he was allowing himself to empathically absorb aspects of their ailments. Since then, he has discovered that his sessions can be equally powerful if he simply hits the spiritual “pause” button at various points throughout a session, in order to redirect his focus to a candle flame or another tool, before jumping back in headfirst. This same principle can be applied to any healing skill or field where empathy is employed.

Psychotherapeutic Approaches

When exploring empathy in a healing sense, I tend to turn to the realm of psychotherapy. The influential Irish Witch and author Janet Farrar once said that anyone who is performing counseling, divination, healing, or energy work for another person is, in a sense, a “budding therapist,” so it helps to have knowledge about human psychology. Studying philosophy, psychology, sociology, anthropology, and other people-related fields is an undeniable asset for healers and energy workers. If your career or life path centers on metaphysical medicine, healing, or otherwise helping people navigate issues and blockages, my highest recommendation is to pursue academic schooling in these fields.

We are complicated creatures, and it’s not enough to rely on intuition alone—that flirts much too strongly with realms of illusion. If we truly want to help others heal, we have to do the dirty work of studying the mind. This doesn’t necessarily mean becoming a licensed therapist, counselor, nurse, doctor, Priest/ess, or life coach, but for some professional healers and diviners it does. To what extent could your own practices benefit from psychological studies?

The first psychotherapist to establish empathy as a prominent therapeutic tool was an Austrian by the name of Heinz Kohut (1913–1981). Kohut is best known for his work in “self psychology,” a branch of psychoanalytic theory that mainly utilizes Freudian concepts in a different framework. Kohut saw empathy as a key factor in the analyst-patient dynamic, believing the psychotherapeutic approach to be lacking without the empathic element. Empathic approaches had been previously utilized in psychotherapy, of course, but Kohut was the first to target empathy and other factors as being pivotal aspects of psychoanalysis and healing.

Carl R. Rogers (1902–1987) is the first psychologist to fully realize the importance of empathy and put it into professional practice. Rogers, a Nobel Peace Prize winner, is best known as a cofounder of the “humanistic approach” to psychology that, quite naturally, is holistic and consciousness-based in its approach to the human mind, not least because self-actualization is its primary focus. By actively engaging with the patient’s consciousness, the therapist gains the ability to see the world through their eyes. Roger’s view included congruence (the necessity for the therapist to be genuine), unconditional positive regard for the patient (nonjudgmentally accepting and caring for the client and his or her experience), and empathy (accurately perceiving and merging with the patient’s consciousness). According to Rogers, one can empathetically enter the inner being of the client during a session by thinking and feeling “as” the actual client. Rather than being a momentary experience, this therapeutic empathy becomes a continual process of compassionate merging to acquire legitimate understanding. By stepping into the client’s emotional and cognitive shoes, the therapist can later step back from the experience with a greater understanding of the individual’s reality and can more accurately provide feedback and insight from that empathetic vantage point.

Rogers emphasized experiential empathy—that is, the client and practitioner having an experience of empathy—as opposed to strategic empathy, which is seen more as a therapeutic tool rather than a method and is used to gather information about the client that will assist in their treatment. I am prone to argue that strategic empathy is not fully genuine due to there being a stronger barrier between client and counselor. While it’s unadvisable for a therapist to immerse themselves in the mental or emotional state of their client without cognitively stepping back now and then, using empathy as a mere trick of the trade, rather than as a maintained state of being with another person, is only partially empathetic.

In his empathically therapeutic studies, Alfred Margulies, a current Associate Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard, realizes the therapeutic need for the practitioner to release any biases or judgments against the patient in order to open the mind to the “inscape” of the patient—the person’s innermost perception. Successful empathic counseling requires the counselor to both listen to the client and immerse themselves in the client’s world without prejudice. According to Rogers, this “as if” quality of the empathic approach to therapy consists of the therapist being acutely aware of the client’s state of being while still maintaining his or her own identity.

Many psychologists, psychiatrists, and counselors agree that three steps are key to true empathic communication and interpersonal empathic counseling: the ability to share the client’s feelings, the ability to intuit what the client is feeling, and the intention to beneficially respond to that person’s distress.

In 1993, Austrian psychologist Godfrey Barrett-Lennard summarized successful empathic therapy as necessarily including three similar, but more defined, steps: first, the empathizer must be fully receptive to the client; second, the empathizer must actually communicate an awareness of this state to the client (“I see that you feel this way,” “It seems that you’re saying or feeling this,” etc.); and third, the empathizer must be aware of the client’s reception of the communication conveyed. In other words, the client and therapist (or counselor, healer, mentor, etc.) must be open to each other and must recognize the exchange of empathy occurring in the moment.

If a patient or client feels validated and accepted in their perceptions and worldviews, they will be much more able and willing to open themselves up more deeply and with less reservation. The building of trust is essential in the therapeutic relationship. Both parties must be empathetic toward each other for this to occur; without both parties engaging with each other, the empathic process will fall short. If a client is trying to “lead” or manipulate the counselor, for example, they are ultimately shooting themselves in the foot by avoiding an actual empathetic connection and its subsequent healing. Keep in mind that some people who seek healing or counseling may have difficulty opening up or developing instant trust. Everyone is different and must be worked with from their own state of consciousness. Empathy, it seems, is the approach that makes any mental or emotional state more approachable.

Austrian psychiatrist Sigmund Freud (1856–1939), one of the most influential figures of modern psychology, promoted the “evenly-suspended attention” or “evenly-hovering attention” method for therapists, explaining that the unconscious mind of the client must be linked with that of the therapist. To accomplish this, the therapist mustn’t become fixated on any one thing in particular when the client is speaking. This method was first promoted as a therapist’s ideal approach during a client’s “free association” session, wherein the client simply speaks in a thought-stream, saying anything and everything that comes to mind. If the therapist takes into account everything spoken during the free associations, they may be more able to interpret the client’s unconscious mechanisms by matching their own unconscious associations, focusing equally on everything the client communicates in that state. The therapist can then step back and analyze the stream of thought as a coherent communication of the unconscious. This description is, of course, a very abridged version—the point I’m trying to make is that empathic healing requires both emotional immersion and a “stepping back” to maintain a certain amount of objectivity so that the counselor doesn’t end up pigeonholing or labeling the client based on potentially insignificant information.

For example, it does a disservice to a client to label them as having “daddy issues” in general and to alter the counseling approach to fit that ideal if in reality they only have a couple of minor father-based issues that are easy to overcome. A greater picture of the client must be formed. It holds much more healing power for the client to come to their own realizations rather than having the practitioner interpret and skew the sessions to fit a limiting model of psychoanalysis.

While Freud was naturally focused on the cognitive interaction between the client and therapist, such as in the method just discussed, he was certainly a proponent of empathy in the therapeutic process. He felt that empathy was needed in order to know anything about another person’s mind. In other words, therapeutic success is reliant on an empathic connection, not just mental scrutiny, no matter which way you slice it—or psychoanalyze it!

IN PRACTICE
Preparing for Healing, Divinatory,
or Therapeutic Work

Every counselor, psychic, or interpersonal professional develops their own methods of realigning themselves before (or between) client interactions. While I realize that many readers do not necessarily work in careers as social workers or service providers, the fact remains that we must maintain our energetic health and composure to interact mindfully with fellow humans on a daily basis throughout life in general.

For empaths who are regularly consulted by clients or friends for services, it’s a good idea to find a personal practice that keeps us aligned with our own energetic core. Regardless of whether we are sought for therapeutic help, physical assistance, psychic service, spellwork, or something else, it’s essential that we stay centered in our own energy so it won’t become jeopardized when our assistance is needed most. The medium is unimportant: empathic sessions on the phone, Skype, or even email can be just as emotionally inundating as in-person consultations.

Before a consultation with someone, you’ll need to be in a manageable, peaceful frame of mind. To get there, start with the breath. Closing your eyes, sense the oxygen entering your nose, throat, and lungs. Start to take slower, deeper breaths and envision the oxygen entering your bloodstream and maintaining the health of your physical body.

Next, do some sort of smudging or spritzing. You may wish to use the empathic cleansing spray explored in chapter V. You may favor a smudge of sage to cleanse your mind, sweetgrass to invite pleasant spirits, or the heavenly wood of palo santo to create a sacred space. The latter is a South American tree that is related to copal, frankincense, and myrrh; it’s my personal favorite to burn before and between sessions.

You may wish to consider formulating a positive affirmation to focus your mind, even if it’s a simple rhyme, such as “My mind is clear, my guides are near, my emotions are protected, and my insight is here.”

You may even consider creating a personalized “word of power” that you alone know the meaning of—a sort of vocalized sigil. Using the example of the affirmation I just gave, you would take the first letter of each word used and string it into a “sentence.” The result for mine would be as follows: “MMIC, MGAN, MEAP, AMIIH.” Interesting! Now we shall remove the vowels: “MMC—MGN—MP—MH.”

When those makeshift words are pronounced and chanted in a deep, resonant voice, it will sound spooky and foreign. More importantly, it will affect your consciousness by focusing the mind on a preset magickal intention. Much like a handwritten sigil, the practitioner is encouraged to write down the “result,” which is the resulting words of power, and to consciously forget the original meaning. The unconscious mind will not forget, so when these words are vocalized over time, it will trigger the unconscious to become aware of the original intention and influence the mind to follow suit.

Have fun creating your own affirmations and techniques to achieve a quick alignment, and be sure to record the results in your journal. The various methods suggested here have an immediate effect on the practitioner because they instantly tell the unconscious mind that something important is about to happen, so it’s time to get with the picture and find your balance. When these ideas and others are utilized regularly, preparing for psychic work or another interpersonal service becomes an easy habit.

Client Interaction

A spiritual guide or healer needn’t be a registered psychotherapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist for successful healing interactions to occur. While psychological study is extremely valuable and is undoubtedly an academic background that many healers have, many countries’ healthcare systems restrict access to psychological and medical treatment based on a person’s class or financial status. This all-too-common inaccessibility, coupled with an increasing number of individuals looking outside the box to unconventional or less common counseling and healing methods, serves to attract a healthy number of people to metaphysical practitioners. Regardless of our healing or counseling method, the fact that we are intricately interacting with people’s emotions puts a big responsibility on our shoulders.

At the same time, my empathic brethren, we are not entirely accountable for how other people react or respond to our attempts to help them. We can’t allow ourselves to become overly discouraged if a client doesn’t respond to us or takes a while to open up. Everyone has different boundaries and sensitivities as a result of their own experiences. We can’t absorb or take full accountability for other people’s suffering. If we have counseled someone to the best of our ability, then we’ve done all we can do.

In many ways, certain empathy-required social roles can be seen as a sort of mentorship, including empathic healing, social work, counseling, therapy, divination, life coaching, parenting, work as clergy (Priest/ess, pastor, minister, monk, nun, etc.), and public service (such as being in law enforcement, like my brother Justin!). If a person comes to another for counsel, healing, and assistance, they are placing some amount of trust in the other person’s hands. Because the practitioner is “skilled” in their practice, the client usually has an acceptable amount of trust naturally directed toward that person. For this reason, both maintaining and increasing this trust, through genuine empathic methods, is of the utmost importance.

In any sort of mentor-student relationship, a client is likely to at least somewhat mirror the behavior of the practitioner—this is an expression of empathy in and of itself. If the practitioner sets an example of genuine care, focused attention, constructive problem-solving, humility, and unwavering compassion, the client is much more likely to carry this behavior into other aspects of their own life and relationships. By demonstrating mental and emotional balance, the practitioner can encourage the client to strive for the same. By establishing a foundation of trust and empathy between the practitioner and the client, the client is subsequently encouraged to build healthy relationships and genuine connections on a day-to-day basis. This can greatly aid the individual in releasing resentment, anger, and sadness directed toward themselves or others—it can help them put themselves in the other person’s shoes and cultivate an understanding of other people’s plights. By observing empathetic behavior on the part of the practitioner, the client will feel more freedom to embrace their own inherent empathic skills.

The Safety Dance

Clients must feel safe. When counseling or divining, you are fulfilling a certain role in the client’s life. They are placing their confidence in you. This doesn’t mean that you must be 100 percent accurate or intuitive in your advice—such a demand is unreasonable—but it does mean that you have the responsibility to demonstrate your empathy by genuinely caring about the client’s state of being, including their boundaries and limits. Empaths are often challenged in the realm of sensing boundaries; by occasionally taking a step back in a counseling situation, the practitioner can gain subtle clues by observing the client’s body language, vocal tone, and so on. One key is to notice your own reactions; your client may be more perceptive than you believe! Sighing, nonchalantly mmm-hmm-ing, and other expressions of frustration can be interpreted as patronizing or disinterest. This can massively harm the relationship, so the need to be fully empathically present is a must.

When a client feels safe with a practitioner, trust is built between the two parties. Clients should talk about themselves; this is their opportunity to do so. Keep in mind that people who are processing deep emotions or who are prone to feelings of loneliness may either talk entirely about their own experience or try to deflect the focus of the session onto the practitioner’s experience instead of their own. The practitioner mustn’t give in to the trap of discussing their own emotions or experiences too in depth, but a small number of personal anecdotes may inspire camaraderie and empathy between the two parties.

The practitioner must strive not to interrupt the client and mustn’t get lost in their own mental tangents—it’s not the ideal setting for a wandering mind! They should suspend judgment in order to validate the client’s experiences, which means that jumping to conclusions isn’t a good idea. They should take frequent and brief mental “step backs” in order to rationally comprehend the client’s experience and to avoid becoming entirely immersed in the client’s world of perception. There are many sides to every story, and people experiencing distress are not likely to see the bigger picture at first. The client must know that the practitioner understands, accepts, and cares for the client’s difficulties, which allows the client to truly exist in a safe or sacred space.

The majority of people just need understanding and a bit of redirection, not for you to fix all their problems. Strive to listen with undivided attention, choosing to offer only solid pieces of advice, encouragement, or cues that you are paying attention and care. Reassure the individual that not only are their feelings valid but they have the capability to conquer their challenges with time. Whatever you do, don’t talk much about yourself in any sort of counseling or divinatory situation and don’t undermine the person’s emotions. Ask a lot of questions. Allow your verbal responses to be few and your own level of emotional self-awareness to be high. Again, have the knowledge and judgment to know when to refer a client to other professionals and have that contact information readily available.

Discerning one’s own energies, emotions, and perceptions as separate from the client’s is essential, because the empath is prone to misconstrue the “empathed” energy as their own. In the case of therapy, counseling, or divination—even in ordinary conversation—the unshielded, unprotected empath is more prone to focus on their “empathed” emotion and its effect on their own psyche instead of focusing directly on the other person’s raw, unfiltered emotion. Also, if the empathic healer is not mindful of shields and chooses not to use mental filtration, the client may unconsciously “lead” the reader because they feel a sense of kinship and camaraderie.

An empathetic therapist, diviner, counselor, or healer must both actively listen (maintaining self-identity) and emotionally/mentally immerse (merging perception) with the client. An empath who is performing divination as a service to others must step in and out of the emotional realm in order to more objectively observe, interpret, and transmit the messages being given. One cannot give advice just to provide comfort (which empaths often want to do—you know it’s true!). We must instead give advice that is as objective and realistic as possible and that can be understood by the client. We must also simultaneously provide emotional comfort to the client. Know when to hold your tongue, and learn to differentiate reactionary responses from constructive advice.

Empathic healing can be especially successful if the healer is mindful of two points. In addition to relying on empathy itself, where the client’s or friend’s emotional energies are stepped into, the practitioner should take the additional step of transmuting that energy into something healing. This can be achieved by recognizing the empathic “peak” in a session, after which the practitioner invokes a more projective personality. Once the client’s take on things has been properly absorbed and analyzed in the course of the healing session, reading, or conversation, the empath then has the responsibility to project a new set of vibrations that can be beneficial to the client, even if this comes only in the form of brainstorming, problem-solving, or uplifting communication.

Once an empathic connection is felt with the person you are healing, counseling, or communicating with, I believe that the empathy must additionally shift into sympathy in order for more objective responses to occur. If your friend or client is feeling irrationally frightened about something and you continue to absorb their irrational fright, no real constructive counseling or healing is actually occurring! If you step back momentarily from that empathic connection during the session, you can momentarily shift into a sympathetic stance—in this case, you will feel an emotional response on behalf of the other person. Your objective sympathy might allow you to take a step back and contemplate the person’s emotional health based on other factors besides their emotional reaction in the moment. Perhaps that person exhibited a strong, sturdy personality in the past but has only recently become despondent. Maybe something in their life recently triggered symptoms of post-traumatic stress. Maybe they began taking a new medication whose side effects include mood swings. Maybe they’ve been suffering from insomnia because they recently began a more stressful occupation. Maybe they’ve become ensnared by a catfish through online dating. Factors such as these can be considered only if the empathic connection is transformed into a sympathetic connection. If the empathic healer functions only in a state of empathy with the client, they aren’t very likely to offer helpful advice beyond, “I sense that you are feeling this way.” Sympathy should be balanced with empathy in order for compassionate, mentally based sympathetic responses to occur. Truly, is there a greater motivation for helping another person heal than when you feel that person’s sensations of suffering yourself ? Sympathy is a more shallow or superficial reaction than empathy is, but if that empathic connection has already genuinely occurred, the healer will be far more engaged with sympathetic responses than they would be otherwise—not to mention far more constructive and motivated to help in the situation!

When working with a client, regularly take a step back into your rational mind by asking questions. If you become entirely and utterly absorbed in the other person’s emotional reality, you can’t be of much help; a healthy amount of stepping back into your own mind is needed so you can reflect, reassess, and recollect.

Become more projective in your empathic approach when you’re working with a client—not the whole time, but some of the time. Ask yourself some questions throughout the session. What life changes could have influenced the client to respond emotionally as they are in the moment? Notice your client’s repeating cycles of behavior, thought, and practice—we all have underlying cycles that unconsciously influence our behavior. Keep an open mind and allow clients to come to many of their own realizations. As I mentioned earlier, don’t “conclude” things about them too quickly; ask questions and inquire. Look for possible triggers that a client may experience before spiraling into aggression, sadness, anxiety, confusion, or whatever the issue is—and construct ways to nip those recurring cycles in the bud on a regular basis. Are there other possible points of origin for some of your client’s thoughts or behaviors? Can you help them come to their own conclusions, realizations, and breakthroughs without assuming that you yourself know all the answers? Your role is to be a journeyman and guide the client’s healing process. We are merely catalysts, encouraging people to heal rather than making it happen ourselves.

Methodologies of Assistance

Some empathic healers will fully absorb their client’s emotions and heal them within themselves, much like the character Gem did in that early episode of Star Trek that I mentioned in the first chapter. By this method, if my client is feeling the agony of loss, I absorb that sensation into myself and process it through my psyche by crying, meditating, and so on, allegedly removing it from the client. By “stepping into” a person’s state of emotional suffering, it’s alleged that the empath can relieve that emotional hindrance in the client by somehow transmuting that emotional pain into “light” or neutrality. I tend to disagree. I don’t know about you, but I see this as dangerous territory, which is why I personally do not approach empathic healing in this manner.

By approaching empathic healing in this fully absorptive manner, the client is allowed to project their suffering onto another person: you, the healer. This is problematic because it teaches the client that avoidance and emotional transference are acceptable—they’re not. It may also encourage the client to do this with other people in their life; it doesn’t help the person process emotions on their own terms. If a person wishes to heal, they must do so for themselves; everyone else, including the empathic counselor or whoever, is only there to help point the way and lend support. It’s very easy to dump energy on an empath, so let’s not suffer more than we ought! Having integrity for ourselves and our clients implies self-responsibility and accountability for our own healing. A successful empathic healer is both a participant in and an active observer of the client’s perception, not a junkyard!

There are, however, a few cases where this sort of emotional transference can be beneficial, but it requires deep and lengthy training in certain methods of practice, which is quite rare in our modern age. The practice of absorbing and transforming physical and emotional pain reminds me of the ancient Welsh shamanic practices that are explored in depth in Ross Heaven’s book The Sin Eater’s Last Confessions. This is a true account of Adam Dilwyn Vaughn, a Welsh shaman the author spent time with. The book recounts various healing practices and perspectives witnessed during his time there. A number of ancient Celtic practices revolve around the idea of “sin eating,” such as the eating of a meal next to a cadaver in order to absorb the dead person’s sins, thereby helping them to achieve a smooth transition into the afterlife. Another is an ancient practice in which the shaman works with a living client to absorb and devour their physical, mental, and emotional ailments. After a number of ritualistic activities are performed on the patient, the shaman then vomits the patient’s energetic detritus, prescribes herbal medicine, and pays homage to the various nature spirits whose help has been utilized. Without a doubt, this sort of intricate shamanic healing practice requires a phenomenal amount of empathy and benevolence and is not a method recommended for practitioners who haven’t trained for years in those methodologies.

A smile flashed to a stranger on the street … A word of assurance to a stressed-out friend … Helping a trapped insect get back outdoors … Expressing gratitude to others and to the universe … These are all small, everyday instances of empathy. This frequency vibrates out into reality, rippling alongside everyone else’s ripples, helping co-create an ocean of empathy around us in ways we can’t even perceive.

When interacting with a client, we need to remain focused on the session and not float off into empathic space or get distracted by the notes we’re taking. Our cognition must be utilized alongside our empathy. One psychic reader I know utilizes a minor amount of echolalia in her readings to stay connected to the client. When a client is speaking, she will subtly and almost imperceptively mouth whatever the person is saying to her. This small action allows her to tap into the thoughtstream of the querent and more accurately tap into their psyche and receive messages. In a medical sense, echolalia is an unconscious action of social repetition that allows either a developing child or a person with a certain psychological condition to more easily empathize with others socially. This vocal or near-vocal mimicry has been scientifically determined to be a healthy method of development and interaction for those whose social abilities are different from the norm. As a conscious practice, however, it can easily create an empathetic link between individuals as long as both individuals consent to being parroted or if the echoing is subtle enough to go unnoticed. A vibrational link can more easily be formed between two people if one is giving the other their undivided attention, and conscious echolalia is one way to encourage this.

Part of retaining individuality in the face of empathic work (and in the life of an empath in general) requires taking control of the energetic current in order to avoid becoming overpowered by another’s perspective. Like I’ve mentioned, do not underestimate the necessity of verifying your client’s emotional state. In other words, make it a habit to tell the client (in your own words) what they’ve just communicated to you. This will verify the information and communicate the fact that you’ve received it.

Confirming the client’s feelings through empathic response allows further dialogue to open between client and practitioner, forging a bond of understanding and acute communication. In this manner, the situation can be probed and explored further, and the client can feel more comfortable opening up and being understood, accepted, and cared for.

In addition to sometimes repeating what the client has said, retaining eye contact keeps both people engaged. Nodding and otherwise affirming that you comprehend the information also lets the client feel heard and respected. Be mindful not to repeat too much or it can sound awkward or even patronizing, especially if you sense that the client is annoyed by your verbal confirmations. A successful relationship can be maintained by finding a balance between verbally empathizing and questioning and by remembering that everybody responds differently to different approaches.

Medical Recommendations

When providing counseling of any sort to another person, it’s vital to know their history with medication and their mental health. There will be times when a person is beyond your ability to help and must be referred to outside sources, such as psychotherapeutic professionals, doctors, neurologists, police officers, mental health clinics, free therapists (yes, they exist), and social programs. For this reason, it’s good to be knowledgeable about local resources for various services. Keeping a list of local centers, organizations, and telephone hotlines is highly recommended.

For those of us who are not legally licensed to prescribe medication (herbal or otherwise), we can recommend ideas for various herbal teas, tinctures, flower essences, and supplements to a client that they can research themselves, as well as modifications in diet, daily routine, behavior, thinking, and so on—but the client must understand that you are merely suggesting, not prescribing! The client has free will, and we mustn’t be held accountable for their choices in treatment.

Just the same, a person is more apt to listen to a professional practitioner than to the everyday Joe or Jane about such modifications, which means that we are accountable for researching client medical/mental history, potential drug interactions, and medicinal or supplemental recommendations that we provide. For example, I may recommend tryptophan to someone struggling with both depression and insomnia or kava tincture to someone struggling with anxiety, but without knowing that these supplements are not recommended for those who are pregnant or nursing, their use could have unintended negative effects, potentially causing more harm than good. St. John’s wort and 5-HTP, both being natural substances used to combat depression, can’t be taken with other MAOI or SSRI pharmaceuticals (antidepressant and antianxiety medications). A person shouldn’t take feverfew for migraines if they have a blood clotting disorder. The list goes on and on, and in order to be empowered empathic healers, we must be educated in the possibilities and the limitations of treatments we are guiding others toward.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Emotional Needs

When people don’t have their emotional needs met, they experience an emotional failure to thrive. In the 1940s, American psychologist Abraham Maslow created his hierarchy of needs as a model for human motivation in modern societies. Maslow theorized that a person must have certain needs met in order to advance to additional stages of personal growth. The final step in this advancement is termed “self-actualization,” which assumes that a person will be able to reach their full potential and actualize their life’s goals once their other needs are mastered.

When interacting with clients, it can be wise to keep this hierarchy in mind. One step can affect another without a person realizing it. If a person is suffering from negativity in relationships (the third tier), it may be folly to focus on their interpersonal dynamics if the main reason for their dysfunction is agitation caused by sleep deprivation (the bottom tier). By looking at all sides of a person’s predicament and by thoughtfully examining possible causes for imbalance, we can more easily target solutions to promote a client’s overall wellbeing, elevating our work from a state of empathetic connection to one of dynamic inspiration.

IN PRACTICE
Working with Difficult Clientele

When others approach us for professional assistance, we are immediately placed in the role of being an advisor. Empathy instantly comes into play within this scenario because we must sidestep many of our own emotions so we can gracefully and acutely step into the emotions of the other party.

Sometimes it can be challenging to work with clients who have a limiting structure of beliefs, who are overly aggressive, or who are prone to reject another person’s advice. Nonetheless, they have sought our assistance, so we must help them to the best of our abilities.

Regardless of whether we’re interacting with an actual client or with people in everyday life, we empaths must keep in mind that empathy on its own can be enabling. As someone who serves the public, you do not want to be an enabler for other people’s bad habits or destructive mentalities. If, for example, a ten-year-old child accidentally breaks a dinner plate and turns to you with sad puppy-dog eyes, an instinctual empathetic response might be to clean it up for them because they feel sad. However, this response would be enabling because it does not teach the child responsibility or simple cause and effect. The empowered empathetic response would be to kindly ask them to clean it up on their own. Those efforts would then be congratulated and the child would feel accomplished.

Because we adults are nothing but big kids, many of our psychological responses are similar to children’s. We can see this dinner-plate scenario play out in a number of ways, contributing to a vast number of limiting belief structures, such as a victim mentality and psychosomatic illness. While most of us metaphysical/magickal empaths are not registered psychotherapists or physicians (though some are!), we can integrate at least some level of psychological understanding when working with difficult clientele.

Here is an example of a challenging client. If a client asks you to help them craft a spell to lure back their ex-lover, how would you empathetically deal with this request? Helping lure back the ex-lover would be against that person’s free will, but it would create a quick emotional fix for the client’s desperation. How can you respond empathetically without becoming an enabler of bad behavior?

Put this book down for a moment and visualize this imaginary difficult client seated in front of you. Feel their desperation attempting to influence you toward a certain mode of thinking. Feel their need for empathetic communion. Now envision a shield of glass between you and this imaginary client. See the energy of their emotional projections coming to a halt at the glass wall and dripping down on the earth below. Use your emotional and psychic senses to see deeper than they are immediately allowing. Which actual emotions is this client feeling, and how have these emotions brought this person to the level of manipulating you, the professional? How can you console and redirect the emotional fervor of this client in a manner that will allow them to come to their own realizations? How can you lead them to deeper healing despite the challenging interaction?

After performing this visualization, write some of the impressions you’ve received in your journal or Book of Shadows. Make a list of different challenging interactions you have faced, whether personally or professionally, and how you might respond with a non-enabling force of empathy. Finally, when these scenarios occur in the future, instantly erect that visualized glass wall so that you can more objectively see into the emotions at hand.

Social Service and Volunteer Work

Social work is an excellent, though challenging, field for empaths. In progressive organizations of all varieties, we find highly empathic people who genuinely care about the wellbeing of others and want to help make the world a better place however they can.

There are so many ways a person can become involved in helping the world. Activist organizations can be amazing to work with. Groups that are creating major change exist locally, nationally, and internationally. If you feel the inspiration to get active and put yourself out there, do it! Assistance is always needed.

Despite the ease of long-distance communication, our local communities are in need of attention. Wherever we find ourselves, there is work to be done. Empathic souls can bring awareness to local issues of social injustice, help inspire people to make good choices, help get homeless people and animals off the streets, and help create change in public policy. There’s so much we can do, and it’s actually quite easy to get involved. It sure beats sitting around the house!

We can actively choose to follow our individual callings to help improve other peoples’ lives, whether our efforts are large or small, local or global. Think about what needs to be accomplished: where would your talents best be utilized? It’s painful to hear about the world’s problems, and there’s only so much we can do as individuals, but we can make a difference and we can inspire people to look beyond their own needs and greed. Leading by example, we have the ability to inspire others to get actively engaged in social work and political activism. As the slogan goes, “Think globally, act locally.”

We can discover our unique purpose by learning from others who have experience in the areas we wish to pursue. We can actively find other people who are passionate about the same causes and work together to create change! It’s an amazing experience to volunteer with, donate to, and give time and energy to organizations whose causes we are passionate about.

Personally, I’ve worked with adults with developmental disabilities for a number of years; they are some of the most empathetic and good-natured individuals I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. Through this sort of employment, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting numerous personality types, observing uncommonly impressive talents and traits and learning lessons of human empathy.

Through the nonprofit temple I help operate, I’ve had the pleasure of co-organizing fundraising events for fellow nonprofit groups and have gained some experience taking part in public demonstrations that bring awareness to issues of social justice. It’s fun to get involved in inspiring change that has lasting effects! In fact, I’d say it’s our responsibility as humans to create a better world in whatever ways we are able.

I encourage you, as the socially compassionate empath that you are, to slowly read and reflect on the following list of ways to get active in your local community. Pencil some time in your schedule to get involved with local causes. Follow your passion. All it takes is a bit of research and a phone call to get active with a local organization or get active for an important cause. You may choose to work independently or you may start a local branch of a larger group. You may volunteer an hour a month or twice a week depending on your schedule—every bit of help is vitally important and creates lasting change, not to mention the additional side effect of generating good karma! There are numerous ways to help create positive change in your local community, including the following.

• Animal shelter volunteer work

• Battered women’s shelter volunteer work

• Become a tutor

• Become an emergency medical technician or paramedic (see VolunteerEMS.org)

• Cleanup crew assistance

• Community garden work

• Cooperative (co-op) volunteer work

• Discover local environmental groups and get involved

• Discuss your ideas with local political bodies

• Donate items when and where they are needed

• Food bank volunteer work

• Food drive organization

• Fundraising for families who have financial emergencies

• Homeless shelter volunteer work

• Join an ecovillage, commune, or intentional community

• Know your local balloting issues and spread awareness of progressive proposals

• Know your local progressive political candidates and help spread awareness and perhaps even train to volunteer at your neighborhood polling place

• Media interaction to bring awareness to important causes

• Nonprofit secondhand store volunteering

• Organize your own marches, rallies, and demonstrations

• Provide help or ministerial work at prisons

• River cleanup assistance

• Soup kitchen assistance

• Speak at local churches and community centers

• Start a local nonprofit group of your own and dedicate yourself wholeheartedly

• Teach classes and educate people on important causes

• Write letters, emails, and postcards to your local politicians

• Write letters to the editor of local newspapers

While it is important to support smaller nonprofit and socially active organizations in your community, large-scale organizations promoting social justice also deserve your attention. If you are able, please financially donate on a regular basis to a reputable, international nonprofit philanthropic organization. (You may also wish to donate to people’s independent fundraising campaigns through websites like GoFundMe, Kickstarter, Patreon, and Indiegogo or by donating to reputable nonprofit charities through sites like JustGive and CrowdRise.) You may even consider hosting meetups, organizing a local event on behalf of a national or international group, or even creating a local branch of a larger group. The following is a short list of some reputable international organizations:

• ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union)

• ActionAid

• Alzheimer’s Society

• American Red Cross

• Amnesty International

• ASPCA (American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals)

• Best Friends Animal Society

• Big Brothers Big Sisters

• CARE International

• Care2

• Change.org

• Charity: Water

• CREDO Action

• Do Something

• Doctors Without Borders

• Earthjustice

• Easterseals

• Environmental Defense Fund

• Farm Aid

• Feeding America

• Greenpeace

• Habitat for Humanity

• Human Rights Watch

• Humane Society

• International Rescue Committee

• Kiva Microfunds

• Lions Clubs International

• Make-A-Wish Foundation

• Meals on Wheels

• Mercy Corps

• National Audubon Society

• Nature Conservancy

• NORML (National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws)

• NPR (National Public Radio)

• NSPCC (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children)

• NVLSP (National Veterans Legal Services Program)

• Oceana

• ONE Campaign

• Operation Smile

• Organic Consumers Association

• OXFAM (Oxford Committee for Famine Relief)

• PBS (Public Broadcasting Service)

• Planned Parenthood

• Rainforest Alliance

• RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)

• Rebuilding Together

• RedR

• Save the Children

• Shriners International

• Sierra Club

• Special Olympics

• Teach For America

• The Trevor Project

• UNICEF (United Nations Children’s Fund)

• WikiLeaks

• Wikimedia Foundation

• Wilderness Society

• World Food Programme

• World Vision International

• WWF (World Wildlife Fund)

• YWCA

IN PRACTICE
Magickal Postcards for Change

I’m a big fan of magick performed by postal mail. There’s something special about receiving something in your physical mailbox from another person who may be located on the other side of town or the other side of the world.

A fun system of postal-based magick devised by my Priestess and partner Estha McNevin is to send out sabbat-based care packages to friends, family, fans, supporters, private donors, and beloved community members at different times throughout the year. These are available for anyone to purchase every few months. It’s rewarding to send a piece of homemade magick to others because it creates a loving astral link and feeling of camaraderie between the two parties. I also personally love sending cards, random esoteric knickknacks, and pieces of art by mail because they (unlike email) carry a bit of personal astral essence.

So what’s a good way to work magick for social change by using snail mail? One word: postcards! Though they have greatly fallen out of favor for email, postcards have a classic and classy appeal. They are easily readable and hang-on-the-fridge-able. Because of their convenient size, appearance, and immediacy of information, postcards are also much more likely to be read by large organizations than are sealed letters or emails. When it comes to having an influence on corporations, political bodies, and busy-yet-influential individuals, postcards are an ideal way to make efficient contact and plant the seed of an idea that has potential to bloom. It’s kind of like that movie Inception except with postcards—and fewer action sequences.

When creating a magickal postcard for change, I recommend first creating symbols or sigils that represent the purpose you’re aiming to achieve. Draw these symbols or sigils directly on the spot where you will place the stamp. Empower them with your intended magick and then place the postage stamp over the symbols. The evidence of magick itself will remain covertly hidden beneath the stamp. When creating a magickal postcard for change, one should also consider the image displayed on the front of the postcard itself: which emotions could the photo or image evoke in the recipient?

Finally, the most important piece of the postcard is the words you use on it. Let’s say that I wanted to contact a food manufacturing company that is known to utilize carcinogenic additives in their products. Using my empathic skills, I would put myself in the place of those corporate decision-makers and would try to decide what kind of contact would be most likely to influence the greatest amount of positive change. If I said, “You greedy sons of bitches are poisoning our children!” the postcard would most likely be discarded and forgotten. If, however, I utilized an empathetic sentiment—perhaps one of both poignancy and gratitude toward change—the feedback would stand a much better chance of being distributed up the corporate ladder. A better option could be something along the lines of, “I understand the importance of fiscal awareness for a business that has your level of social influence. At the same time, I believe that this level of social influence comes with an equal responsibility for consumer health and safety. It fills my heart with joy to think that your company could raise the standard for so many others by simply eliminating [ingredient X] and replacing it with a safer alternative …”

This same style of outreach can be performed toward retail stores, grocers, manufacturers, state and federal chair holders, public institutions, or any other influential organization or person with whom you are inspired to share a piece of your mind.

Corporations and political institutions, in particular, often regard one consumer’s opinion as the voice of many others. One person’s feedback is viewed as a representative of hundreds or thousands of additional consumers, depending on the market. Most people never take the time to contact these people and these firms. Empaths, however, can accomplish this swiftly and proficiently. By taking a few minutes to express your sentiments, a company, institution, politician, or whoever may become more likely to change in progressive ways. It literally takes only a few minutes of your time and a bit of pocket change for a stamp. In my opinion, this is an incredibly small sacrifice for a simple piece of activism that has the potential to create an echoing effect of lasting change. Is this sort of thing not our duty as magickal folk and spiritual seekers?

EMPATHIC CONTEMPLATION
Empathic Parenting

It’s essential for empathic parents to know themselves and their minds. We are all products of our youth and our upbringing to some degree, even though everyone responds to their own upbringing in a unique manner. Parents who are empaths have the responsibility to know their own negative cycles and realize when these patterns are being projected onto their offspring. It’s additionally important for empathic parents to research child development and child-raising skills thoroughly, because a healthy awareness of parenting skills can help an empath draw boundaries when they need to be drawn—and with children, that’s a considerable amount!

Children who are raised with empathy are most likely to treat others with the same; this can quite literally help change the state of the world. Children also develop more empathy as they mature if they receive empathetic or emotional awareness as a repercussion for negative behavior. Instead of the child being told, “That was a mean and naughty thing you did to her,” a child will develop more emotional capacity and kind behavior by being told, “Do you know that you made her feel sad?” Additionally, a healthy amount of attention given to a child may make them feel more bonded to other people as they grow up. Ways to emotionally engage with a baby or child include constant affirmations of empathic attunement, such as mirroring the child’s facial or bodily expressions, sharing excitement when the child feels it, altering your vocal pitch to appeal to the child, engaging in activities the child is excited about, and so on. These attentive behaviors suggest that the child is likely to develop with a healthy amount of empathetic skills. If a child is repeatedly ignored by parents or is raised by the television, they are likely to develop a life pattern of not instinctively attempting to develop an emotional connection with other people and to be a more guarded type of person in general. If a parent is frequently angry or distant around their child, the child is likely to grow up with the idea that these behaviors are normal and natural. As a result, the child is much more likely to demonstrate those learned behaviors throughout their own adulthood. The same goes for children with parents who are generally happy, balanced, attentive, and empathetic.

Great developments have been occurring in the realm of empathic awareness in regard to parenting. One example that sticks out to me is a new board game called “Feeleez: An Empathy Game for Children” created by Nathan McTague and Natalie Christensen of the Center for Emotional Education (www.feeleez.com). Nathan’s empathetic presence has influenced my own life, and it’s a pleasure to see his partner and him creating emotionally empowering programs for adults and children alike, in addition to their empathy-centric life coaching for adults and families.

Another notable resource is Start Empathy (https://startempathy.org). This organization is a network of individuals focused on prioritizing empathy in our schools. On their Facebook page, the organization is described as “a global network of social entrepreneurs, educators, thought leaders, parents, young people, business leaders, journalists, universities, philanthropists and others who are collaborating to make empathy learning a norm, particularly in childhood.”

While the information presented here is pertinent to an empathic parent raising a child, if you are a parent who is raising a highly empathic child, I highly suggest you read the book The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them by Elaine N. Aron, PhD. Additionally, Elisabeth Y. Fitzhugh’s Dancers Between Realms: Empath Energy, Beyond Empathy has a fantastic chapter on raising and interacting with children who demonstrate a significant level of inherent emotional sensitivity.

CHAPTER MEDITATION
A Compassion Meditation to Spread Empathy

The term metta bhavana means “the cultivation of loving-kindness” and is a phrase that comes from the Pali language (the language closest to the one that the Buddha may have spoken). In addition to metta (loving-kindness), Tibetan Buddhists recognize three other “immeasurables” called the Brahmavihara (“abodes of Brahma”), which are karuna (compassion), mudita (empathetic joy), and upekkha (equanimity).

In this Buddhist metta bhavana meditation, you will focus on four different people (including yourself) whose influences evoke a varied reaction in you. The people you think about in the meditation can be different each time you practice this (aside from yourself, of course), or you can focus on the same individuals each time until you feel comfortable to change. It’s best if these persons are living, but if there are unresolved issues with a person who has passed or has simply left your sphere of interaction, there’s no reason not to include them in the visualization.

Many Buddhists practice this meditation daily in addition to other exercises aimed at cultivating compassion and spreading goodwill. This is one of the most comprehensible and direct forms of meditation. Metta bhavana is a form of samata (or samatha) meditation, which involves focusing on the breath to raise consciousness and increase self-awareness by calming the body. This ancient Indian method of concentrative meditation is mentioned in the Upanishads. I have slightly modified the original method, adding a bit here and there yet still maintaining the essence of the traditional exercise.

You may pre-record the meditation or have a friend read it to you in a soft, slow monotone voice, inserting a pause between each step. You can also memorize the meditation by reading it a number of times and reenacting it privately. By focusing the light of metta on all beings, even those we feel discontentment toward, our approach to the world can become more loving and balanced.

1. Enter a sacred space or create one in your environment. If you feel comfortable meditating outside where you know there will be no distractions, find your place there. Any form of light will do as long as it’s not fluorescent or overpowering artificial light, as those distract from the focus. Some people prefer to work by sunlight or with moderate backlighting, while others prefer dim candlelight or moonlight. Get comfortable and let go of the day.

2. Find a comfortable posture that aligns your energy and gives your mind clarity of focus. Take gentle breaths and become aware of your physical body. Look at your hands, wiggle your toes, feel your hair: this is the body you’re in and is the shell that maintains your spiritual progression. Looking at your physical body, become aware of your six sensory faculties: touch, smell, taste, sight, hearing, and mental process. These are the functions that serve as filters for spiritual experience. Observe your physical body even deeper by seeing beneath the skin. Visualize your organs, muscles, and skeletal system in your mind’s eye and try to understand their roles in your daily life. Mentally examine your body and all its parts. You may place your hands on your knees or in the dhyana mudra (the hands placed in the lap, with the right cradling the left and the thumbs placed above the palms, nearly touching).

3. Having become aware of your physical frame, close your eyes and enter the territory of mind and imagination. First, monitor your breathing. Take regular breaths, not too deep or shallow, preferably in and out of the nostrils. Visualize the oxygen entering your body as a soft white or blue color. Begin counting your breath in intervals of thirty. Bring your attention to the location where the air meets your skin with each slow inhalation; let this be the first set of thirty counts. Immediately after counting thirty inhalations, count the same number of exhalations, focusing on the point where the breath leaves your body. Immediately after this, finish with another set of thirty counts, this time not focusing on your physical body at all. Simply count and know that your regular breathing is supporting your being. This will bring your mind to a more calm and meditative state. After putting yourself in a relaxed state of awareness, the core of the work begins.

4. First Person: Before cultivating loving-kindness toward others, healers must work on themselves. Envision yourself sitting before you exactly as you are now. Your eyes are closed and your back is erect. See the clothes you’re wearing now and try to form the clearest and most realistic image of yourself as you are in the present moment. If you have any “flaws,” see them too; try to see yourself as you are. See yourself (both you and your projected self) surrounded by the light of metta. You are glowing with a peaceful illumination that embodies the essence of love. Do not move on to the next step until this has occurred and you are content looking at yourself. If you are judging yourself, release those thoughts and allow them to move on. Once you feel at peace with yourself and you feel elevated by the loving vibrations of metta, let your picture fade away and your mind slip to blackness.

5. Second Person: Next, envision someone near and dear to you sitting in front of you in meditation. This should be a person you already feel love for and whose presence you are comfortable in. See this person sitting just as you are sitting, practicing the same exercise. Envision them surrounded by the same light as you surrounded yourself in moments before. They are at peace and you are at peace, aligned and balanced under the light of metta. Once you feel the same loving alignment come about this person, allow their image to fade to black.

6. Third Person: The next person you are to visualize should be a neutral person: someone who is real but whom you have never spoken to and have only seen in passing. It could be a clerk at a grocery store, someone you’ve seen on campus, a friend’s friend, or what have you; it doesn’t matter so long as they’re someone you know of but aren’t acquainted with. Though you don’t know this person, understand that they are a human with the same needs and desires as yourself, someone who deserves to be surrounded by the light of metta regardless of their path in life. See this person as you did the others: meditating before you, surrounded by loving-kindness. Once you feel their energy at peace, allow their image to fade away.

7. Fourth Person: The final person to be visualized is someone you are experiencing conflict with. This could be someone you are currently feeling frustrated with or with whom you have unresolved issues from the past. See this person sitting before you in meditation, knowing that they too exhibit human traits and are limited to a physical form. See this person as a perfectly flawed human being just like yourself. Know that you have more commonalities than differences, at least in the sense of you both being human. Attempt to see this person’s lighter side and their capability of creating goodness. Do away with negative thoughts that may arise; let them be placed aside for the moment, unattached to any difficult emotion. This state may take longer to come to than the others. Come to see the person surrounded by the light of metta, understanding that they need this light as much as you do. Allow them to be surrounded by love even if you feel they don’t deserve it. In truth, we all do. Once content, allow this person’s image to pass and fade.

8. You should now visualize each person you reviewed in meditation. They should all be lined up, with each surrounded by the light of metta. See yourself simultaneously seated next to the individuals you previously visualized: the person you love, the neutral person, and the person you are having problems with. See all of you sitting together, illuminated in meditation. See the light glowing, surrounding all four individuals. Then allow the light to blend together. The same light emanates off each person and now surrounds everyone as a singular unit. All are surrounded with loving-kindness. Then let their images fade while you come back to center.

9. Allow your astral body to reenter your physical body, and visualize yourself surrounded by the light of metta. See the light surrounding your body expand to fill the whole of the room or area you’re in. This may take a few seconds or minutes to accomplish. Next, see the light expanding to fill the rest of the premises, far beyond you. See it expanding out to the whole neighborhood, then to the community, to your city, to your state, to your country, and outward to the world. Let this exercise take as long as needed. Once you have visualized the earth surrounded by metta, let the light expand even further, through our solar system, permeating all planes and beyond to infinity. Give the light time to grow and glow.

10. Finally, ground and center your energy very slowly. Bring yourself back from the stars, to your geographical area, and finally back to your body. Let this take as much time as needed. Breathe deeply, letting air enter your lungs and rejuvenate your blood. Wiggle your fingers and toes, becoming aware of your physical self, and let your eyes slowly open. Odds are you’ll have a nice grin across your face, knowing that you just lent a bit of enlightenment to yourself and the world.

[contents]

24. Excerpted at www.freewillastrology.com/beauty/pronoia.therapy.html.

In Conclusion

As we find ourselves existing in this time and place, here in these physical bodies, here in this chaotic and beautiful world of experience, we also find that our interaction with the world is intricately bound by empathy. With every interaction we have, and with every thought that comes to mind, we can choose to activate the essence of empathy within us and around us. Our every word, thought, and deed can become dictated by empathy because it’s the right thing to do and it’s why we are here.

There is no mightier or more progressive force. Empathy directly creates and sustains love in its myriad forms. This force can dissolve violence, greed, exploitation, and unbearable injustices from occurring because of its transferable nature. By kindling our empathy and valuing this skill at all costs, we are helping relieve the suffering of others in the present moment and in the future. Empathy has a palpable effect both on the world around us and on our inner worlds.

When we choose to demonstrate empathy toward others and toward ourselves, we lead by example and cause a ripple of compassion to activate in others, spread across the globe, and speed its way into future paradigms. As the genuinely loving essence of empathy spreads to those around us, a little more light makes its way through the darkness of human mire. As the light of empathy spreads onward, that bit of light becomes a holy star that serves to guide humanity into a new aeon of consciousness.

Empathy is the very thing that has inspired the foundation of loving religions across the globe and has inspired leaders of justice to uphold systems of social ethics. Empathy is the true force of unity and is the vibration of spiritual living. It’s an experience that bridges every this and every that, and, when directed toward oneself, is an ultimate remedy for loneliness, shame, fear, guilt, and other difficult human conditions. Empathy is the most important energy we can offer because it instigates positive universal changes that extend far beyond ourselves. If it’s balanced with rational thought, education, and consistent action, empathy can quite literally save the world. Empathy ties us all together and is a part of our biology and spirituality that we can choose to feed, grow, enhance, refine, and radiate like a thousand suns bursting forth at once in the sky.

In his book The Empathic Civilization, Jeremy Rifkin mentions that we must demonstrate a “global empathic consciousness” if we are to survive as a species. The world must improve from its current state. Our daily decisions, choices, and behaviors influence the fate of the world. Every action or inaction reverberates on numerous levels of consciousness. We get to choose which direction the tide turns. It’s tempting to get caught in the low tides, but because of empathic individuals with unwavering ethics, the tide is turning in the favor of love. This current cannot be stopped. Empathy is taking over.

Maintaining and encouraging healthy empathy isn’t always easy, but we can resolve to do our best every single day. Life isn’t always a nice walk in the park. It’s a terrain with countless ups and downs that requires us to adapt. People like us have a unique mission in life: holding an emotionally alchemical torch to illuminate the glory of compassion toward the world and everything in it. Sometimes we will fall, sometimes we will mess up, but most importantly we will learn. Adaptation is one of our greatest gifts as humans, carrying us through anything life puts in our path. During those challenging times of mental exhaustion, physical pain, and depression, remember that you’re in a process of learning and you need to go easy on yourself. Gain wisdom from your experiences and choose to adapt as necessary, holding on to love and compassion as the highest empathic and magickal ideals.

Keep ever aware of karmic patterns, utilizing your uncanny emotional awareness to understand which cycles repeat in your life and how to best work with them. Just the same, don’t get overly fixated on your own goings-on! Keep in mind the healing power of service: as an empath, you have the advantage of being an unconditional healer, a true listener, and a deep feeler—someone who inspires others to do their best and to exercise their own natural gifts. You are a teacher of positive change and yet also a perpetual student!

My dear, sweet reader, life can be a deeply painful experience, but it can also be incredibly beautiful. Please hold on to your innocence and goodness the best you are able through life’s ups and downs. Don’t allow the evils of humanity to embitter your peaceful heart. Every day is a new challenge to maintain and inspire empathy within yourself and others.

You are a spiritual soul. Like myself, you are working on honing your empathy and your magick every single day. You are never alone, and it’s a pleasure to walk alongside you on this journey.

I am honored that you have read this book, and it’s my dearest hope that it will provide some help in your daily life. Please share the material with fellow empaths who may benefit from the tools, tips, and techniques presented herein. Also, please don’t hesitate to share your own empathetic findings with the world through whichever mediums you feel comfortable—we can all benefit from one another’s knowledge and perspectives. We are all in this together! The world needs us. The world needs you. There is always hope because you are here.

Pranam,

~O.R.D.N.~
x

[contents]

The Blessed Lord [Krishna] said: Fearlessness,
purification of one’s existence,
cultivation of spiritual knowledge,
charity, self-control, performance of sacrifice,
study of the Vedas, austerity and simplicity;
nonviolence, truthfulness, freedom from anger;
renunciation, tranquility, aversion to faultfinding,
compassion and freedom from covetousness;
gentleness, modesty and steady determination;
vigor, forgiveness, fortitude, cleanliness,
freedom from envy and the passion for honor;
these transcendental qualities,
O son of [Emperor] Bharata,
belong to godly men endowed with divine nature.

—from chapter 16 of the Bhagavad Gita
(within the Mahabharata)

The very best are like water:

They benefit all things without trying to;
they are content with low places that others dislike.

That is why water is so near to Heaven’s Way.

The very best in their homes love simplicity,
in their hearts love what is deep,
in their words love what is true,
in their friendship love what is gentle.

The very best in the world love what is peaceful,
in government love what is orderly,
in deeds love what is right,
in actions love what is timely.

It is because they do not compete with others,
that they are loved by all.

—from chapter 8 of the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu

Opus Aima Obscuræ (OAO) is the nonprofit multicultural temple, farm, and community center created by Raven Digitalis and by Priestess/Oracle Estha McNevin in Missoula, Montana.

Mission Statement:
To serve as a ceremonial space and resource center
for the study of global earth-based spirituality
by offering a creative multicultural environment
for the practice of public ritual, humanities education,
and community-supported agriculture.

The organization offers between five and fifteen public events on a monthly basis, depending on the season. Regular hands-on educational workshops include activities such as organic gardening, sustainable agriculture, animal husbandry, old-world cooking, international/holiday baking, cross-cultural arts, candle making, soap making, canning, food preservation, camping retreats, children’s events, global tea service, beading, weaving, sewing, divination, yoga, healing practices, herbalism, and ongoing educational courses. As an organization rooted in both Neopaganism and Shaktism, OAO observes traditional sabbat rituals as well as a number of ancient Hindu festivals.

As a 501(c)(3) nonprofit charitable organization, OAO relies on donations, support, and contributions from the greater community. Private support is consistently needed and is deeply appreciated. Please contact the organization if you would like to receive paperwork outlining the organization’s activities, outreach, and suggestions for support. All contributions are tax-deductible.

You may also contact the temple to be added to the virtual newsletter list, to receive seasonal care packages, or to inquire about professional services. These services include spiritual consultation, Tarot reading, mediumship, past-life regression, and assistance with personal magick.

It is the goal of the organization to uphold a loving community, to help empower individuals, to compassionately provide educational opportunities, and to help make the world a better place one day at a time.

Namaste and Blessed Be!

Opus Aima Obscuræ

(OAO Temple Haus)

PO Box 2666

Missoula, MT 59806 USA
temple@opusaimaobscurae.org
www.opusaimaobscurae.org
www.facebook.com/opusaimaobscurae

Bibliography

Alexander, Jad. The Book of Storms. http://mysilentecho.com/dreamtongue1.htm.

Allan, Tony, and Sara Maitland. Titans and Olympians: Greek and Roman Myth. London: Duncan Baird, 1997.

Aron, Elaine N. The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them. New York: Three Rivers Press, 2002.

———. The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You. Secaucus, NJ: Birch Lane Press, 1996.

Belanger, Michelle. The Psychic Energy Codex: Awakening Your Subtle Senses. San Francisco, CA: Weiser, 2007.

———. The Psychic Vampire Codex: A Manual of Magick and Energy Work. Boston, MA: Weiser, 2004.

Bennett, Michael J. The Empathic Healer: An Endangered Species? San Diego, CA: Academic Press, 2001.

Bennett-Goleman, Tara. Emotional Alchemy: How the Mind Can Heal the Heart. New York: Harmony Books, 2001.

Bergland, Christopher. “The Neuroscience of Empathy.” Psychology Today (Oct. 10, 2013). www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201310/the-neuroscience-empathy.

Bloom, Paul. “The Baby in the Well: The Case Against Empathy.” The New Yorker (May 20, 2013).

Bohart, Arthur C., and Leslie S. Greenberg, eds. Empathy Reconsidered: New Directions in Psychotherapy. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, 1997.

Boyd, Andrew. Daily Afflictions: The Agony of Being Connected to Everything in the Universe. New York: W. W. Norton & Co., 2002.

Brennan, J. H. Tibetan Magic and Mysticism. St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn, 2008.

Brezsny, Rob. Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books, 2005.

Broederlow, Christel. The Empath Reports 101. www.slideshare.net/ChristelBroederlow1/the-empath-reports-101.

———. “30 Traits of an Empath (How to Know if You’re an Empath).” The Mind Unleashed, Oct. 24, 2013. http://themindunleashed.org/2013/10/30-traits-of-empath.html.

Brown, David. “A New Model of Empathy: The Rat.” The Washington Post (Dec. 8, 2011).

Cardoso, Christopher, and Anne-Marie Linnen. “Oxytocin Can Make Healthy People Oversensitive.” Concordia University (Jan. 21, 2014). www.concordia.ca/news/media-relations/news-releases/cunews/main/releases/2014/01/21/oxytocin-and-oversensitivity.html.

Carr, Allen. Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking. London: Penguin, 2004.

Cicero, Sandra Tabatha. A Guide to the Babylonian Tarot. Woodbury, MN: Llewellyn, 2006.

Coyle, T. Thorn. Kissing the Limitless: Deep Magic and the Great Work of Transforming Yourself and the World. San Francisco, CA: Weiser, 2009.

Crowley, Aleister. Magick: Liber ABA, Book Four, Parts I–IV. Boston, MA: Weiser, 2004.

———. 777 and Other Qabalistic Writings of Aleister Crowley. Edited by Israel Regardie. Boston, MA: Weiser, 1986.

Cunningham, Scott. Cunningham’s Encyclopedia of Crystal, Gem & Metal Magic. St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn, 2005.

———. Cunningham’s Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs. St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn, 1984.

———. Earth Power: Techniques of Natural Magic. St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn, 2003.

Dale, Cyndi. The Spiritual Power of Empathy. Woodbury, MN: Llewellyn, 2014.

Dass, Ram. Be Here Now. Kingsport, TN: Lama Foundation, 1978.

de Houwer, Jan, and Dirk Hermans, eds. Cognition and Emotion: Reviews of Current Research and Theories. New York: Psychology Press, 2013.

de Waal, Frans. The Age of Empathy: Nature’s Lessons for a Kinder Society. New York: Harmony Books, 2009.

Decety, Jean, and William Ickes, eds. The Social Neuroscience of Empathy. Cambridge, MA: Massachusetts Institute of Technology, 2009.

Demi. The Legend of Lao Tzu and the Tao Te Ching. New York: Margaret K. McElderry Books, 2007.

Dennis, Geoffrey W. The Encyclopedia of Jewish Myth, Magic, and Mysticism. Woodbury, MN: Llewellyn, 2007.

d’Este, Sorita, and David Rankine. Practical Qabalah Magick. London: Avalonia Press, 2009.

———. Wicca Magickal Beginnings. London: Avalonia Press, 2008.

Digitalis, Raven. Goth Craft: The Magickal Side of Dark Culture. Woodbury, MN: Llewellyn, 2007.

———. Shadow Magick Compendium: Exploring Darker Aspects of Magickal Spirituality. Woodbury, MN, 2008.

Dillard, Sherrie. Discover your Psychic Type: Developing and Using Your Natural Intuition. Woodbury, MN: Llewellyn, 2009.

Dutton, Kevin. The Wisdom of Psychopaths. New York: Scientific American/Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2013.

Ehrmann, Max. The Desiderata of Happiness. Boston, MA: Bruce Humphries Publishing, 1967.

Ekman, Paul. Emotions Revealed: Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life. New York: Holt, 2003.

Farrar, Janet and Stewart. A Witches’ Bible: The Complete Witches’ Handbook. Custer, WA: Phoenix Publishing, 1981.

———. The Witches’ God. Custer, WA: Phoenix Publishing, 1989.

———. The Witches’ Goddess. Custer, WA: Phoenix Publishing, 1987.

Fitzhugh, Elisabeth Y. Dancers Between Realms: Empath Energy, Beyond Empathy. Waynesboro, VA: Synchronicity Press, 2006.

Francis-Cheung, Theresa. The Element Encyclopedia of the Psychic World. London: Harper Element, 2006.

Goldie, Peter, ed. The Oxford Handbook of Philosophy of Emotion. New York: Oxford University Press, 2010.

Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. New York: Bantam Books, 1995.

———. Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence. New York: HarperCollins, 2013.

———, ed. Healing Emotions: Conversations with the Dalai Lama on Mindfulness, Emotions, and Health. Boston, MA: Shambhala, 1997.

Greer, John Michael. The Long Descent: A User’s Guide to the End of the Industrial Age. British Columbia, Canada: New Society Publishers, 2008.

———. The New Encyclopedia of the Occult. St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn, 2003.

Greer, John Michael, Clare Vaughn, and Earl King Jr. Learning Ritual Magic: Fundamental Theory and Practice for the Solitary Apprentice. Boston, MA: Weiser, 2004.

Grønseth, Anne Sigfrid, and Dona Lee Davis, eds. Mutuality and Empathy: Self and Other in the Ethnographic Encounter. Herefordshire, UK: Sean Kingston Publishing, 2010.

Hatfield, Elaine C., John T. Cacioppo, and Richard L. Rapson. Emotional Contagion. New York: Cambridge University Press, 1994.

Hay, Louise. You Can Heal Your Life. Carlsbad, CA: Hay House, 1999.

Heaven, Ross. The Sin Eater’s Last Confessions: Lost Traditions of Celtic Shamanism. St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn, 2008.

Holland, Eileen. Holland’s Grimoire of Magickal Correspondences. Franklin Lakes, NJ: Career Press, 2006.

Iacoboni, Marco. Mirroring People: The Science of Empathy and How We Connect with Others. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2008.

Kelly, Debra. “The Difference Between Psychopaths And Sociopaths.” KnowledgeNuts (Nov. 3, 2013). http://knowledgenuts.com/2013/11/03/the-difference-between-psychopaths-and-sociopaths.

King, Stephen. The Dark Tower. New York: Pocket Books, 2006.

Koetting, E. A. Baneful Magick. Tampere, Finland: Ixaxaar Publications, 2009.

Kraig, Donald Michael. “Experience Your Past Lives.” Presentation at PantheaCon in San Jose, CA, 2009.

———. Modern Magick: Eleven Lessons in the High Magickal Arts. St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn, 1997.

LeDoux, Joseph. The Emotional Brain: The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life. New York: Touchstone Books, 1998.

Lévi, Eliphas. Transcendental Magic. Boston, MA: Weiser, 1968.

Lewis, Michael, and Jeannette M. Haviland-Jones. Handbook of Emotions. New York: Guliford Press, 2004.

Luppicini, Rocci. ed. Handbook of Research on Technoself: Identity in a Technological Society. Hershey, PA: IGI Global, 2012.

Lyon, Amber. “How Psychedelics Saved My Life” Reset.Me (May 28, 2014). http://reset.me/story/howpsychedelicssavedmylife.

Markway, Barbara G., Cheryl N. Carmin, C. Alec Pollard, and Teresa Flynn. Dying of Embarrassment: Help for Social Anxiety and Phobia. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, 1992.

Marsh, Clint. The Mentalist’s Handbook: An Explorer’s Guide to Astral, Spirit, and Psychic Worlds. San Francisco, CA: Weiser, 2008.

McLaren, Karla. The Art of Empathy: A Complete Guide to Life’s Most Essential Skill. Boulder, CO: Sounds True, 2013.

McNevin, Estha. Opus Aima Obscuræ. Tradition materials and lesson notes. Missoula, MT: 2003–present.

Mehrabian, Albert. Silent Messages: Implicit Communication of Emotions and Attitudes. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth, 1972.

Melody. Love Is in the Earth: A Kaleidoscope of Crystals. Richland, WA: Earth-Love Publishing, 1991.

Mesich, Kyra. The Sensitive Person’s Survival Guide: An Alternative Health Answer to Emotional Sensitivity and Depression. Lincoln, NE: iUniverse, 2000.

———. The Strength of Sensitivity: Understanding Empathy for a Life of Emotional Peace and Balance. Woodbury, MN: Llewellyn, 2016.

Mitchum, Robert. “Helping Your Fellow Rat: Rodents Show Empathy-Driven Behavior.” UChicago News (Dec. 8, 2011). http://news.uchicago.edu/article/2011/12/08/helping-your-fellow-rat-rodents-show-empathy-driven-behavior.

Mueller, Mickie. The Witch’s Mirror. Woodbury, MN: Llewellyn, 2016.

Myss, Caroline. Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing. New York: Three Rivers Press, 1996.

Orloff, Judith. Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life. New York: Three Rivers Press, 2010.

Parker, Julia and Derek. Parkers’ Astrology: The Definitive Guide to Using Astrology in Every Aspect of Your Life. New York: DK Publishing, 2001.

Penczak, Christopher. The Witch’s Shield: Protection Magick and Psychic Self-Defense. St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn, 2004.

Pennick, Nigel. The Complete Illustrated Guide to Runes: How to Interpret the Ancient Wisdom of the Runes. London: Element/HarperCollins, 2002.

Plutchik, Robert, and Henry Kellerman. Emotion: Theory, Research, and Experience. Vol. 1. New York: Academic Press, 1980.

Poe, Edgar Allan. The Fall of the House of Usher and Other Tales. New York: Signet Classics, 1960.

Prabhupada, A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami. Bhagavad-Gita As It Is. Los Angeles, CA: Bhaktivedanta Book Trust, 1972.

Richard, Dr. “Birth of the ASMR Community (Podcast).” ASMR University (Sept. 23, 2015). http://asmruniversity.com/2015/09/23/podcast-birth-history-asmr-community.

Rifkin, Jeremy The Empathic Civilization: The Race to Global Consciousness in a World in Crisis. New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin, 2010.

Rosetree, Rose. Empowered by Empathy: 25 Ways to Fly in Spirit. Sterling, VA: Women’s Intuition Worldwide, 2001.

Ruiz, Don Miguel. The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom. San Rafael, CA: Amber-Allen Publishing, 1997.

Savage, H. K. Empath. Maple Grove, MN: Staccato Publishing, 2012.

Segal, Jeanne. Raising Your Emotional Intelligence. New York: Henry Holt & Company, 1997.

Seneca. Epistle LXXVIII (78),“On the Healing Power of the Mind.” In Moral Letters to Lucilius (Epistulae morales ad Lucilium), translated by Richard Mott Gummere. https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Moral_letters_to_Lucilius/Letter_78.

Shantideva. The Way of the Bodhisattva. Boston, MA: Shambhala Publications, 1997.

Silverknife, Zanoni. Lessons in Georgian Wicca, 101–104. Class handouts and lecture notes. Missoula, MT, 1999.

Smith, Michael R. The Complete Empath Toolkit: 44 Practical Steps to Master Your Energy and Reclaim Your Personal Power. www.empathconnection.com.

Stavish, Mark. Between the Gates: Lucid Dreaming, Astral Projection, and the Body of Light in Western Esotericism. San Francisco, CA: Weiser, 2008.

Stewart, R. J. Celtic Gods, Celtic Goddesses. London: Cassell, 1990.

Subramuniyaswami, Satguru Sivaya. Merging with Siva: Hinduism’s Contemporary Metaphysics. Kapaa, Kauai, HI, 2003.

Thorsson, Edred. Runelore: A Handbook of Esoteric Runology. York Beach, ME: Samuel Weiser, 1988.

Three Initiates. The Kybalion. New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin, 2008.

Tibi-Elhanany, T., and S. G. Shamay-Tsoory. “Social Cognition in Social Anxiety: First Evidence for Increased Empathic Abilities.” Israel Journal of Psychiatry and Related Sciences vol. 48, no. 2. (2011): 98–106. www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22120444.

Townsend, Mark. Jesus Through Pagan Eyes: Bridging Neopagan Perspectives with a Progressive Vision of Christ. St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn, 2012.

Turner, Jonathan H. On the Origins of Human Emotions: A Sociological Inquiry into the Evolution of Human Affect. Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press, 2000.

Voltaire. Candide. New York: Bantam Books, 1959.

Weschcke, Carl Llewellyn. “The Revolution/Evolution Continues.” Llewellyn’s New Worlds of Body, Mind, and Spirit (Woodbury, MN: Llewellyn, 2009).

Whitcomb, Bill. The Magician’s Companion: A Practical and Encyclopedic Guide to Magical and Religious Symbolism. St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn, 2002.

Yronwode, Catherine. Hoodoo Herb and Root Magic: A Materia Magica of African-American Conjure. Forestville, CA: Lucky Mojo Curio Co., 2002.

Zaki, Jamil. “What, Me Care? Young Are Less Empathetic.” Scientific American (Jan. 1, 2011).